Obtuse

There was a petition dividing the room, but you could hear what went on the other side if they were speaking loud enough. But all was silence on both sides of that petition as we waited like gladiators for our turn in the arena.

Or at least it was silence until the women came in. I heard Mary's voice on Joey's side of the partition as Latisha walked into mine.

"Oh baby, I've missed you so this last week. I can't wait till this fight is over so we can have sex," I heard my wife say.

"it's amazing how they let whores in here," Latisha began in a loud, clear voice, "but I guess that's the only kind of woman a fight bum can get," she continued.

"Latisha, is that you?" Crawford shouted from his side.

"Did you hear something, Professor," Latisha said but far too loud to be talking just to me.

"You seem to have an audience on the other side of the panel," I said.

"Don't pay attention to the slut," Mary said, "she can't make you feel half as good as I can."

"She's probably right on that, Joey. She has the experience on me if you don't mind her saggy white ass," Latisha all but shouted.

At that moment Manny came in to throw Latisha out. On the other side of the panel, Joey's manager did the same to Mary. Then they readied us for our bout. I went out first since my Club was the host or so I was told.

But I suspect the real point was so that the true professional Joseph "The Hammer" Crawford could make a big entrance which he did.

****

The first three rounds were a great exhibition of technical boxing. We both landed the odd tap, but little else occurred. If we were fighting in the World Games or the Olympics, I would have given each round to Crawford. He was the better fighter, but the crowd of fifty-five-hundred who had packed the Armory to watch was rather disappointed. They had come to see some blood and so far all they had witnessed was The Hammer opening a cut over my right eye.

For my part, while being in the best condition of my life, I was sweating like a pig. It was hot in the ring under the lights, and the Hammer was fast, very fast. It was more than a workout to keep up with him. And, then it happened, halfway through the fourth round the Hammer slipped. His foot hit a patch of our mutual sweat and my blood on the ring. He was moving back to avoid the strong left I was throwing when his foot slipped, and he plunged forward into my glove.

We were wearing ten-ounce gloves and no headgear. I had never fought before without headgear, and I had a cut eye to show for it. The hard blow from my left landed square in Joey's face stunned him for an unfortunate second which enabled the right uppercut I was already sending to landed on his chin. He dropped to one knee, and before I could land another blow, the referee, Lucy Parker, was between us.

The Hammer took an eight-count before he got off his knee and came at me. It was all I could do to stay with him for the rest of the round. He was groggy but mad as hell. I figured we were both saved by the bell and might get our composure back between rounds. However, I figured without the ladies.

Mary jumped up by Crawford's corner and planted a big kiss on him before she was dragged away. This was much to the pleasure of the crowd as I could see she was dressed in a crotch high skirt and a halter top. Not to be outdone Latisha jumped up and gave me an impassioned kiss before Manny could push her away.

The bell once again saved us as the bell for round five called us to the fight. Now I faced an enraged man who might actually earn the title Hammer. Gone was the technical expertise. He was trying to kill me, and it wasn't because my wife kisses him. In a moment of pure lucidity, my mathematical brain solved the problem with its multiple unknowns.

Two women, all too much alike, had hatched a similar plan to get what they wanted. Unfortunately, those plans intersected at the ring where I found myself with a berserk young fighter intent on killing me. Fortunately, I kept my head and proceeded to land punch after punch. Joey, on the other hand, finding my head blocked started right in on my body. For the rest of round five and six, my crazed opponent landed blow after blow to my ribs.

At the end of round six, I was in my corner, getting my ribs taped when Lucy, the referee, came over.

"You going on?" she asked.

"Yes," I replied as Manny shook his head at the fool I was.

The referee took a last look at my ribs and said, "I think you're both crazy. You've got both his eyes near closed, and he won't quit either."

The Hammer had a hard head, but the referee was correct, he could barely see me now. He had two dangerously swollen eyes. I decided that the best plan was to stay out of his reach. It was clear as we started the seventh and last round that the Olympian Joe Crawford had reemerged. I was exhausted and fair game for this fighter who pushed me around the ring but never once through a body blow. The technical fighter had reemerged, and he managed to knock me down just before the bell rang. I was getting up on the count of seven when the bell went off.

Lucy raised Joey's hand as the winner, and he hugged me as he whispered in my ear that I should stay away from his woman. The crowd was on their feet, cheering. They had seen more fight than they had expected. The ring was soon crowded with all the women who had fought that night except for the two who commenced fighting at that moment

The fight broke out in the aisle closest to my corner. Two women, one black and one white going at each other. As one observer stated, "A real old-fashioned girl fight." The winner was clear; Latisha eventually knocked Mary on her ass and told her to, "keep your sluty white ass away from my man."

Whereupon Latisha hurried over to where a victorious Joey was leaving the ring looking like the man who had lost the fight. As she helped her nearly blind man out of the ring, she looked over to me and gave a smirky smile and a wave goodbye.

One calculating woman had gotten what she came for but as to the other?

"You satisfied?" I asked her, leaning over the ropes to look down on my wife still flat on her backside, "You nearly got me, and Joey killed."

"It wasn't just me apparently," she said smoothing down the far too short skirt as she stood up.

I began to laugh in spite of myself.

"What's so funny?" she demanded.

"You in that outfit with a black eye."

"Oh, no," she said, moving her hand to her eye, "It's not black, is it?"

"It will be," I said, "We'll get an ice pack at the hospital."

"The hospital for a black eye?"

"No for my broken ribs," I said.

"Oh!" she exclaimed as she ran to the ringside while digging into her purse, "I'll call for an ambulance."

"A ride will be all I need. Call for one of those limousine services you use. The champ should go out in style," I declared.

"But you lost," she said, helping me through the ropes and down to the Armory floor.

"Really did you see the other guy. I was robbed."

Now it was her turn to laugh as she swung my left arm over her shoulder. Suddenly Tina appeared with my robe and draped it over me as she moved beneath my other shoulder.

"I already have a car waiting just come this way," Tina said.

And so my wife and daughter helped me away from the fight of my life. It was an experience I never wanted to repeat, but I would never have passed up. I was hurting bad, but happy as hell. The hospital dampened my enthusiasm appreciably.

"I thought I was getting the better part of the deal," the female doctor Lester said with her arms crossed. She was a young woman who looked rather attractive in her white coat. However, her disapproval gave her a severe continence.

"You have three broken ribs and as near as I can tell no damage to the lungs, but we will keep you at least overnight to make sure. Your friend down the hall may not lose any eye site, and I'd say you are two lucky idiots. What were you thinking?"

"They weren't," Tina said, "It was supposed to be an exhibition fight for charity, but things got out of hand when the whores got involved."

This brought the first smile I'd seen on doctor Lester's face.

"Don't say such things about your mother." I cautioned Tina.

I could see how the word hurt Mary coming from her daughter, but the doctor was unfazed.

"I don't know," the doctor said, "seems like if they were ladies, they wouldn't be hanging out with you pulkas or need treatment for black eyes.

Latisha and Joey had beaten us to the hospital, and in addition to Mary's black eye, Latisha had one of her own.

The doctor left us saying that she would make arrangements to move me to a ward. I sent Tina to get us coffee while we waited.

"So, what now," I said to Mary.

"It's not up to me," she said, "I'm a whore, remember."

"I'm leaving for California next week," I said.

"I guess I am to then."

"I haven't invited you, and aren't you giving up a bit too easily on Joey?" I asked.

"We never even went to bed together. He was 'in training' or so he said. That bitch Latisha is welcome to him. So, I'll come whether invited or not."

"What about your law firm."

"I quit. Couldn't stay anyway. My mother blackmailed Jack Cardigan with some file she got from my brother-in-law. Said he can't ever see or talk to Tina again or she'll release it. I won't tell you what's in it, but I'm finished with all that law firm garbage."

"I didn't know your mother would do such a thing. Can she do that, and what will Tina do."

"It's not up to Tina. Mom can be very harsh when it comes to the family, and she has Jack's head in a noose. I'm following you to California with our daughter. I'm done with all that."

"Do you think you can live the life of a housewife?" I asked.

"Yes, if you can put up with the fact I can't cook or clean house?"

"Well, I guess you can come with me. Tina can teach you to cook. I already taught her how, and we can get a cleaning service once a week."

"You mean it I can come?"

"Yes, but I still regard you as a whore."

"that's okay I'll be your whore," she said and went to hug me, but stopped remembering my ribs. She leaned forward instead and gave me a kiss, which was how Tina found us returning with a tray of coffees.

"Does this mean we're all going to California,' she asked.

"Yes," I said.

Well that's it and hopefully a happy ending that will please.

For those who have written me over the years to seek advice on the child abuse statute of limitations, you have probably heard that New York State on August 14, 2019, implemented a one year window for filing on lapsed cases. Don't miss the deadline if you have a case that has any relationship to New York.