by ohio
You are such a good writer, how come your endings suck ? Again, no one would be getting a hard on for a cheating spouse, no matter how hot she might be. Why do you continue beating this dead horse? Stop it! It's NOT realistic !!! A-2.
It might have been more believable if you hadn't made him a multi millionaire.
I mean by the time it was drawing to a close he would be worth tens of millions.
There isn't a prayer that he wouldn't bring that into play. He would know who what where very quickly.
It made the whole underlying premise seem contrived. This from somebody that likes seeing people have consequenses for their actions.
The way I see it that story was completed. The writer knew who she was cheating on him with and cut the punks balls off. Then coldly played her to the end and then left her stranded. I'd say there was nothing else to write about.
For once I am seeing someone as vindictive as me.
Hard to see this guy as decisive and vindictive. When he found out about the first time, why not fire this employee? Strange.
to kick the cheating skank to the kerb....love his retribution to her....
Could do with another CH. to excite us with the fallout from his actions.
mediocre story...tired (story)...unimaginative...unfinished...3* (and i was a bit generous)
knowing what could/would/did happen. TK U MLJ LV NV
If not another chapter please give at least an epilogue. It just finished too soon. I would want to ask why she did it after being forgiven the first time. She could have asked for a divorce after realising she couldn't cope with the age difference and what she wanted from life. This really needs closure.
However I do like your writing and will be reading your other stories
It might have been fun to cancel tickets and find some reason to take action against the other betrayer! Theft or fiddling expenses!
Cheater at one thing probably others work with him after that no way
Otherwise good story
Come on Ohio, you've had years to complete this story so how about putting your mind to a part 2 or at least an epilogue for this part?
I had a feeling someone else did an ending but can't find it. However, you are a very good writer and I would rather hear what happens from you.
4 stars will become 5 if you finish the job.
...if unwise. Not firing the guy was just foolish. No matter how good, he was replaceable. Good story.
4 Star rating. Would have been a 5 Star Rating had it not ended two thirds of the way through.
I'm a little surprised that she only made it four years before cheating. 48 isn't significantly older than 44.
But the author has no balls here...the ending stinks.........
Your soon to be ex-wife will just call her lover Mark to cone and get her. Then she will get her $50,000 per marriage money. She was just a cheap whore for you!
I enjoyed this story, but it really needs a part two. Maybe.once she air drys, she can deal herself with toilet paper. He didn't take that.
She also told him that I knew.
Even though I ended up giving her half a million dollars it did not last long. Mark had gotten used to living the high life and believed that he would quickly find a job paying roughly what I was paying him. Yes she moved in with him after she had realised I knew of her affair.
This was not to be though. He left without a recommendation and every time someone would ring wanting a reference they would be told why he had been dismissed.
She allowed him access to her money and he quickly went through the half a mil. He He eventually had to start selling all his expensive toys. He ended up broke and destitute and working at a fast food joint as a sign flipper earning minimum wage.
She did not fare much better. Once Mark had spent his way through her money she came crawling back to me all apologetic and asking if I would take her back.
I told her NO but I would help her find a job.
She eventually ended up as a waitress at a diner and was thankful for the work. I eventually gave her another $250000 to help her out. After all we had been married for 15 years,
Once Mark had heard about this he tried to worm his way back into her life. She would have nothing tio do with him but he would constantly harass her. She asked me if I could do something about it and I agreed.
Having money helps when things needed to be done. I paid some people to put the hurt on Mark and force him to leave town. They did a really good job of that and I paid them extra for the destruction of his testicles.
He took every last thing in the condo that might cover her (though I seriously doubt anyone could do in 15 minutes without making enough noise to bring her out of the shower), and took her cellphone and the condo’s landline phone, as it says in the 3rd through 5th last paragraphs. So how is she going to call Mark?
And unless she has an exhibitionists streak, she wouldn’t want to walk outside to a neighbors condo or house, or gas station, or minimart, or Walmart to use their phone. Nor to ask someone to call the police for her.
@Anonymous 10/22/20 - How do you get they were married 15 years? They started when he was 44, she cheated the first time when he was 48. now he's nearing 50. That's less than six years.
did the second time he found out what he should have done the first time he found out. I almost get apoplectic when I see the phrase "it was just sex I love only you". Sorry you don't fuck around on a person you love. This applies to both husbands and wives. They, in their feeble minds, may think they love their spouses, but they have no idea what love is. This is just another twisted rationalization to justify their selfishness. What Karen's in love with is his money and lifestyle, not him. He says he's so smart but he knew this was going to happen before he married her, then did it anyway. That's called thinking with your dick. It did take him awhile but he finally pulled the trigger and that's the moment he got his balls back. I would like to have seen an epilog but it's not neccessary. Oh and Mark? I'd ruin that fucker in that town. He'd get mugged leaving a bar and end up with a few broken bones in the hospital. Karen would be fired from the opera and never work in the industry again. They'd be smoking holes when it was all over. Over the top? Maybe, but may as well use your millions and the influence it brings, for a little payback. Besides this is a faireytale, ever seen what happened to Cindarella's step-mom and sisters in the origial story?
The MC warns his fiancé that he will not tolerate infidelity but after learning of her affair quickly agrees to stay married if they go to counseling. She quits the counseling when it becomes uncomfortable for her yet he still remains in the marriage. He leaves the SOB who's fucking her on his payroll, ensuring he's nearby and financially comfortable so the scumbag continues plugging the slut regularly. When even the MC must admit the fucker needs to be fired, he makes his secretary handle it.
WTF?
It was 15 years with Kathleen, his office manager. His wife is named Karen.
Well
It was a great tale but it would have been nice to read about the aftermath.
Due yoy write good stories but God damn complete them and I would really like the story from the other partner will give a complete story experience
hey dude you are a wimp ,why fuck the whore after finding out shes fucking mark again
1. I rarely comment on stories that have been posted more than a couple years. This is an exception.
2. Readers, please note how smoothly an Ohio story reads. His grammar and word usage is as close to perfect as I can detect. The result of his efforts in getting it right is easy, smooth reading with a VERY rare "stop and reread for clarity." This creates a smooth flow for the reader - even one who doesn't know shit about correct grammar.
3. Good character development is the norm. Even for a short story the reader is left knowing the character of the characters.
4. Great pacing is the norm. Ohio does not dawdle over long monologues, soliloquies or excess narrative. What super efficiency of language we find here.
5. I believe the good-but-not-extremely-high score for this story is more than likely due to normal expectations of excellence from Ohio (i.e. judged against his other works rather than the Lit norm). Plus, this story will excite neither the BTB or the RAAC crowds.
6. Regarding FTDS comments: is there really any confusion regarding the outcome in the weeks following the close of this story? It does not take more than a teaspoon of imagination to detail the subsequent events. If you want complete closure, go back to nursery stories.
7. Many thanks to Ohio (and the many other seriously excellent authors past and present) who provide such fine entertainment at such a reasonable price.
.
Ordinarily, I say, "Keep 'em comin," but Ohio seems to have shut down the creative flow. Sorry to see him retire.
Willowghby is right, ohio is one of my favorites for the same reasons. For two of you who are a little slow, the story is finished when you run out of words! Pretty simple actually. Should you feel that you could do better, please feel free to try your hand at it.
somewhere east of Omaha
Average. But for a cuckmaster like Ohio, a 3* is on the high end of how I feel about his stories. They always set up so well, then he allows the world to shit on his MCs without adequate retribution.
~Enkidu
Story doesn't really say how this guy found Karen cheating, except when on vaca & she came from Acme which later burned down. Seriously? Some stories seem to drag on & on, but this one doesn't give enough. No confrontation. He leaves her in the shower & then flies off to see a friend? Story's just a poor slackass job. Maybe a 1
I think the best part of the story might have been what she did next.
Still. An enjoyable story.
C’mon, ohio, I usually enjoy your stuff, and I enjoyed this story, too - right up until you didn’t FINISH THE DAMN STORY! You are better than this. Plus, 43 is OLD???? What planet are you really from?
Well... you purchase a $50K/year whore what do you expect... a top-line escort makes 10X that much in a year.
Too short! It would have been fun to follow the aftermath of Eric's actions. What a total moron Mark was, committing Career suicide because he couldn't keep it in his pants. Would have loved a sequel, or an epilogue. 5*s.
Somewhat disappointing. Ohio seems to have become bored with writing this story and cobbled together a rushed, hasty and ultimately untidy ending to get this tedious chore out of the way as quickly as possible. Can do so much better.
Good story, all we now is a follow up for the rest of the story. Thanks for your writing.
Lame... That's "revenge"? Really? She has two affairs and lies to him but at least she is going to be naked after her shower! Ugh
A typically excellent intro from this author and then nothing. What happened to the rest of the story?
I usually like this author but this is crap! First, only a little bitch would leave and slink off like that. Be a man and face her. What he did was childish and cowardly. He should have fired the other guy right away! Why wait?
This was really disappointing and then on top of it, he doesn't even finish the story. I don't think I"ve ever given ohio 1 star before but this is well deserved.
I know this is an old story but it isn't finished.
Why leave us hanging? Where was the confrontation? What did she do when she realised what had happened?
Can we wait for an ending? Or will this end up as another unfinished piece from this author? Was decent as far as it went.
I'm always amused by the sex descriptions in these stories. So, our MC took her 10 times in 7 days? What were they? 3 minute pump and dumps? I've known some incredibly libidinous women, but I've never met one that could handle serious sex (i.e. 90 minutes to 3 hrs a session - this is not counting foreplay and cuddling) twice a day for three days and then continue with once a day. They simply get too sore. For those not mathematically minded, 10 sessions means 3 days involved two-a-days. This is almost as funny as the authors who write that a 9" cock is needed to reach a woman's cervix. Here's a hint: if you can't do it with your index finger, you don't know where it is. So, if you do know where it is, and you cock is as long as your index finger (I certainly hope it is), you can reach the cervix; no giant cock required.
@EXursusRhere
You've been a member for nine years without a single submission. Oddly, the author wrote this story nine years before you even signed up. It seems kind of pointless to disparage an 18 year old story, or even going after an author who hasn't submitted a story for nearly three years.
While we're waiting for Ohio, Lit readers would probably love to read one one of your stories, preferably one with a satisfying ending.
To all that are whining for more
Calling it an unfinished story?
Use your damn imagination if you want more.
Cut off too soon!
We missed out on finding out just how well his plan worked out. I don’t read here to make up my own story.
Bill S.
Good story. He was thoughtful, already been through one failed marriage, and knew there was an age dynamic. He got information relatively quickly. He tried knowing she liked to party. But for her to quit counseling, to get morose after a week away in the fancy condo and then hooking backup with Mark is despicable. He effectively kicked her to the curb, taking everything from the condo, knowing she would be humiliated and then left, knowing the prenuptial would handle the rest. He got 15 years out of the marriage before it disintegrated. They had no kids. He was 16 uears older than her. He fired Mark. He wasn't going to BTB her. He has too much to lose. He just cut her out of her life. She will be despondent and will have to make a life for herself without his money. The prenuptial money won't last long for the lifestyle she has become accustomed to. Maybe she hooks up with Mark. Though he will likely be blackballed. He will have a hard time supporting her. This just all shows how fake her remorse was. She knew one more time and she was out with a prenuptial over her head. She had probably fall in love with Mark contrary to her "it was only sex" cliche. That is probably why she really didn't want to explore why she cheated. Combination of need younger, hot guy sex and falling for Mark. If it cane out in the counseling she was sunk and Mark would be fired. She didn't last long. Suspect she had him change the dates so she could see Mark sooner. Well you reap what you so. He won't lack for female companionship or sex with his money. Doubt he ever marries again.
Why would he let mark get away with that the firs time? I would have bankrupted and blacklisted him.
So he never confronts the bitch? Just runs away? What a pathetic asshole. Stupid ending, or lack thereof…
2 Stars as He should have fired his employee and Divorced her the first time . Sadly I let my ex come back and it cost me 50 thou and a 2 year old house , Her lawyer was much better then mine
Well the story gave us what he did, but not how things turned out. The story just stops at 1000 thousand foot cliff edge.
Great outline for a story but it needed more. And as Tundah50 says below that must have been a really long shower to get all that done.