Old Wounds Ch. 01

"How the hell did I do that?" I asked, starting to really worry. "I didn't do anything."

"Yes you did. You left."

"Me joining the army couldn't have hurt her. Why would it have?"

"Because she lost her best friend Matt. You just left without telling anyone where you were going. We hadn't heard from you in weeks and we finally went to your parents to see what was going on and they were shocked you didn't tell anyone."

"I had my reasons for leaving."

"Well did you even stop to think that just leaving like that would kill all of us? We were so worried when we found out what you did."

She was starting to get mad now. I had never seen her get mad. She was always so calm, cool and collected. This was new territory for her.

"Allison, I didn't mean to hurt anyone."

"Well you fucking did!" She all but screamed. "Most importantly you fucking hurt Katie." She added, barely over a whisper.

I had to stop and think for a second. I was wracking and wracking my brain trying to figure out how I could have hurt her. Her losing her best friend wouldn't be enough for her sister to freak out like this.

I came up blank. The army had honed my ability to think quickly. To reason without even thinking about it. In all the life or death situations I had found myself in, I had been able to come up with an entire plan, start to finish, hell I could even make a pros and cons list of every action in the blink of an eye. I wasn't used to being stumped like this for something so simple.

"Allison, I'm sorry. I need to talk to Katie. Sort this out. You know I would never hurt her on purpose." I finally said, accepting that I would just have to hear it from her in order to figure this all out.

"How long are you back for?"

"Until the doctors say I'm cleared for duty, then I'm off again."

"Where are you going?"

"I've spent my whole career overseas, never having a duty station in the States for anything longer than a month or two, not counting my hospital visits." I replied with a chuckle.

"Hospital visits? What happened?"

"I'd rather not talk about it right now," I said with a blank expression. "Let's just say I had some very painful things happen to me." I added with a laugh, hoping to lighten the mood.

My experiences didn't really haunt me other than the occasional nightmare. Talking about them was fine, but I figured if I told her the story, I'd have to tell it again to everyone else, so I figured we'd all just get together and I could tell it then since I knew Allison wouldn't let up on it.

"I'm sorry Matt. We had no idea..."

"Nothing to be sorry about kiddo. I'm the one who didn't tell you guys what was going on."

It got quiet after that. Both of us sitting there reflecting on the last few years. I was caught up thinking on how I could have done it better, not cut them out of my life. What Allison was saying was starting to set in. Maybe I was just an asshole.

**

It was a Friday. The bar wasn't crowded yet, but people were starting to trickle in. Nothing unusual for a town this size. Friday night, and everyone's getting off work and heading to the bar. It was going to be especially crowded tonight since Friday night was the pool tournament.

Me and a few of my buddies had been shooting in it since high school. It started off as a fluke. I was freshly sixteen, so I had way too many people piled in my truck, and we stopped in to grab a bite to eat. My grandpa had taught me how to shoot pool pretty decently when I was growing up, so when we found there was a five dollar pool tournament we could shoot in, well we quickly became regulars.

I never won consistently, but there were more than a few nights I took home the win. It was double elimination. Once you lost you had to battle back in the losers bracket, and if you made it through there, you had to beat the champion of the winners bracket twice, since he hadn't lost yet and had two losses to get him out.

I quickly downed the rest of my beer and signaled Frank for another, then stood to walk over to the pool tables to get a few practice rounds in before it got too crowded with everyone warming up. They usually drew in a good crowd for Friday nights with the tournament usually having twenty to thirty players, and many of them bringing buddies or significant others to watch and hang out.

I didn't even call the boys to see if they were coming up, I knew they would be. Pool night was never missed if it could be helped. Keeping that in mind I grabbed my new beer in between shots and moved my stuff over to one of the larger tables near the pool tables.

Since I'd been back, I'd ran into a lot of people I used to shoot with in the tournament. Usually running into them on Sunday nights when they took the doors off the tables for free pool night. I was almost done running my first rack when I saw the door on the far wall open when Dick and Ron came in to get ready for the tournament.

"Dick! Ron! How the hell are ya?" I called out mid shot.

"You son of a bitch Matt! Where the hell have ya been? Off Savin the free world or some shit I'd imagine. How's the Army been treating ya?"

Living in a small town, once news got out that I joined up, well, it wasn't long before the whole town knew. Oh well. It's not like I was trying to keep it a secret anyways.

"Somethin like that," I laughed back at them. "Y'all ready to get your asses kicked tonight?"

"Ready as ever." Dick shot back.

"You couldn't make one of them balls in the Grand Canyon if we gave you a hundred of em. What makes you think you gonna win?" Ron called out as he ordered a beer.

"You just watch it old man. I'm comin for ya."

It was good to be back home. The friendly competition put me right back into my roots almost immediately. The tournament brought all walks of life. You had old timers like Dick and Ron, city slickers who came in from the bigger towns a few miles down the road, backwoods guys who came in to town once a week, and anything in between. It really was an unusual crowd, but since it was pool night, we all got along like old friends.

A few minutes later saw me and Dick shooting a game of nine ball just to warm up and get some quick shots in. It wasn't long after that when I saw the door swing open yet again and in walked some of my buddies, pool stick cases over their shoulders, raising hell as usual. It was obvious they were a few up before they even got here.

"Snake! I figured you'd be here already. Tried callin ya but turns out yer phone doesn't show up with my calls." Jack said as he plopped his stuff down at my table.

"Oh shit sorry bud, totally forgot my phone in the truck. Ain't used to havin it around all that much."

"Yea yea yea cut the shit," Jason said with a laugh. "You just don't like us."

"Oh fuck off boys, you know I love ya." I shot back, barely containing my own laughter.

"Well fuck, looks like we gotta order up a pitcher cuz Todd's on his way up now, bringing Danny with him."

"Frank!" I called out, "better make sure you got a fresh keg on standby, Danny's comin up."

"Well damn I swear that kid drinks almost as much as you do." He hollered back with a lighthearted tone.

"Close only counts in horse grenades and hand shoes." I said, looking over at Jason since he's the reason we say it like that. One night he was feeling way better than he should have been and started talking cursive, and that's what came out.

Turning back to the game, I looked over the table. Dick didn't leave me anything worth shooting at. We were on the six ball, and he had left the cue ball tucked in behind the seven in the corner. I couldn't go around, so I guess I had to go over.

I walked over to our table and pulled out my jump stick a little nervously, as I hadn't taken a jump shot in over a year due to the lack of pool tables in a war zone. Still, I was going to try, since why the hell not. Can't hurt anything at this point.

"What time the boys gettin here?" I asked the guys as I lined up to take the shot.

"Left bout the same time we did so I'd say maybe a few more minutes."

"Allison or Katie comin up?"

Before he could reply I took the shot. I got the cue ball over the seven, and it came down and made solid contact on the six, though the six didn't drop, I was still happy I could still jump.

"Not that I've heard of. Allison begged off another night of pool, since you know she's always two and out."

"Ain't that the truth." I said, chuckling under my breath.

"Katie stills not in town, so I'd have to take a bet and say it's a no from her."

As it turned out, missing that six ball left Dick with absolutely no shot, not even a jump, so he just went for a kick shot to make contact and not leave me with ball in hand. He missed. Badly. I couldn't help but laugh.

"Well that looks like it's game ya old fart."

"Now you wait a minute son, you still got the six, seven, and nine left. What ya talkin bout?"

"I got ball in hand, it's run table city over here boys." I said with a little too much confidence.

Lining up my shot on the six ball, it was pretty straight in and left me a good shot on the seven. I probably could have comboed the six and nine for the win, but since there were only two other balls, I didn't want to risk giving Dick another shot. He's sneaky like that.

I easily made the seven, but the nine ball was at an awkward angle, so my shot wasn't going to be that easy. It wasn't impossible, not even unlikely, just not a shoe in. I wound up rattling the corner with it and left the nine sitting nice and pretty for Dick.

"Well old man, looks like you were right." I said

"That'll teach ya not to underestimate an old man." He said with a laugh. "Now buy me a beer I'm gettin thirsty from winning all these games."

With that I set my stick down at the table and went to buy him a beer. It was an unwritten law on pool night that loser had to buy the winner a beer. Wasn't a big deal. Over time it wound up evening out anyhow.

After setting Dicks beer down on his table, I went to grab my pack of smokes and looked over towards Jack and Jason.

"Smoke?"

"Smoke."

"Smoke."

Well, some things never change I guess. They'd been smoking since they were old enough to lift smokes off their old man and smart enough to not get caught all the time. Only got a few ass whooping as they always say.

Right about the time we got outside we saw Todd's truck come screaming into the parking lot. Danny was jumping out the passenger door before the old ford was even in the spot next to mine.

"Dumbass the door!" I yelled at him. When he jumped his door didn't close all the way.

"Fuck shit fuck."

And before he could get back to the door, it swung open further and nailed the back corner of my truck, leaving a little dent. The door had a bit of a larger dent in it due to the thinner metal.

"Oh look what ya did ya dumbass!" I scolded him, barely able to contain my laughter.

"Shit brother I'm sorry." He was obviously a few up as well, nearing the feel no pain stage.

I didn't care about the dent. Yea, I put a lot of work into the truck, but that was mainly just to make it run right, the body still left a lot to be desired, so a new dent was just adding to the many that were already there. No harm no foul.

"Fuck you buddy you know I don't care about it. It's just a beat up truck." I said, finally letting my laughter show while offering him my pack. "Smoke?"

"Smoke."

By that time Todd had parked the truck and was on his way over to the group of us that was starting to form outside the bar since everyone was coming out for a smoke before the tournament started in fifteen minutes.

Since Todd was the only one of us that didn't smoke, even occasionally, he went inside to plop his stuff down on our table and pour himself a brew. After a few minutes passed, Ryan, or Big Boy as everyone called him, poked his head out the door to coral everyone back into the bar so he could get the tournament rolling. He'd been running the thing since long before we started shooting in it. His mom and dad owned the bar.

As we walked back in I saw that since the guys had all helped themselves to a beer, we were empty on it. Picking up the pitcher I walked around the bar to the tap and started to fill it up. Once that was done I walked over to where Frank kept the tabs and marked myself down for another pitcher, and headed back to the table.

"Dick! Todd!" Y'all are up on table one. Danny, Jason, y'all take table two. Let's get this shit rollin."

With that everyone held up their beers and called out "kick some ass." As they did at the start of every tournament.

When Frank came out of the bathroom he headed over to our table and feigned annoyance with me.

"You think you can just help yourself to the taps in my bar? Well, you're damn right you can, makes less work for me." He finished with a chuckle. "Did ya mark it down or do I gotta do that too?"

"I got it Frank, you just chill your grumpy ass out."

With that he scoffed and walked away, chuckling under his breath. He really was a great guy. Nice and easy going even though he didn't seem that way at times.

The rest of the tournament went smoothly, with Jason getting DFL, or Dead Fucking Last as we all called it. He was a good sport about it though, losing his first game to Danny, and his second nearly back to back against his brother. Todd wound up taking the win, beating me in the last game, so I wound up with second. Dick got third, Big Boy was out early, and the rest of the guys soon started to follow suit.

I would have won, but Todd pinned me against the rail and didn't even leave me a jump shot to hit my eight ball, so he was able to easily run his last four balls with ball in hand. Losing early in the tournament isn't really a bad thing, since when the fourth guy drops, they all pull up a chair and start playing euchre, and there's usually a back door tournament going on with that while the pool is still going on.

The tournament wound up running longer than usual, so instead of either hanging out at the bar and shutting it down, or heading out to either the creek or someone's house to finish off the night, we all begged off and went our separate ways.

As I fired up my truck to let it warm up for a few minutes, I kept looking to the door to see if my dad was going to come out, since he's usually at the tournaments with us, but tonight he wound up staying home for one reason or another. Once I was sure all my buddies' trucks actually started and they pulled out, I climbed into mine and popped it into gear and headed home, planning on just taking a shower and hitting the sack.

**

"Sargeant!" Mason called out as he was running towards me.

"What's up?"

"Word just came down from battalion that we need to move up the Alpha companies FOB and support them while they send squads out to the village and look for that cache of guns they just got a tip about." He said while trying to catch his breath.

"Well fuck. How'd you hear it before me?"

"I was in the TOC looking for Top, and I heard the call over the radio. The sir told me to come find you to get the rest of our section up and about. We roll out in twenty."

"Well merry fucking Christmas I guess." I said with a laugh.

"Abso-fuckin-lootly." Mason responded as he went to go roundup first squad.

He was my first squad leader, Perry was second squad, and I was first section leader. Shit just doesn't stop does it? I didn't even ask for the responsibility but when Masterson, the old first section leader rotated home, I was the next one with the most time in country. Usually you deploy as a unit, so everyone's on the same level, but we had been taking hits recently and replacements seemed to never stop coming. Six more months until we're out of this shithole. Six more.

We were halfway up the stretch of road we all called Route sixty nine, since it seemed we were always getting fucked on that road, and all seemed quiet when out of nowhere an explosion rocked my humvee and I watched the lead truck quite literally get airborne, engulfed in a plume of fire and smoke.

**

I woke up with a start again. This time I wasn't screaming or sweating, but it still was a shitty dream. It was my second tour, not a bad one honestly. Yea it ended with me being shot to shit and sent home for a bit of R&R, but the rest wasn't that bad. We lost Perry in that IED attack. The other three in the humvee were able to be pulled out and medevaced soon after. One of the privates got a medical discharge, and the other two only had minor wounds surprisingly.

Since it was early in the morning, about when I would usually get up on duty, I was awake for the day. I slept in my PT shorts and nothing else, so I pulled on a random shirt from my floor that didn't seem too dirty and padded my way down to the kitchen to make some coffee.

My dad was already up and at it, sitting at the table with his coffee and the newspaper. I still can't believe the guy still gets the paper. I'm old fashioned, but not that old fashioned. That's why we have technology right?

I didn't see him in the kitchen when I first walked in, but I turned around quickly to the table when I saw the pot already had some coffee in it, hopefully enough for a cup.

"You're up early son." He said over the brim of his mug and from behind the paper.

"Eh, couldn't sleep much."

"Bad dreams? I get em too."

"Eh this one wasn't that bad. Just a replay of the IED attack on my second tour."

"The one where you lost Perry or the one you were the only one hurt because you're an idiot and smacked your head off the window?" He asked with a chuckle.

Other than Frank, my dad is the only other one that really knew about what happened over there. I wrote my mom, sure, but I always folded up another little letter in the envelope just for dad, to tell him what was really going on so in case I didn't get to write for a few days mom wouldn't freak out.

"The one we lost Perry. Shit came outta nowhere."

"When you lost who?"

Shit. There was Mom. She didn't really know anything about what went on over there. I guess she must have made her way downstairs without either of us hearing her. Well fuck, now I had to explain at least that story to her.

"When he lost one of his guys." My dad said for me.

"Cliff notes version goes a little something like we got moved from our base to another base to help another platoon, and while we were on the way there, we were on a stretch of road that nobody likes since it's prime IED area, and wouldn't you know, we got hit with one. Three guys got wounded and one got killed. Definitely wasn't a fun day. I can tell you that much." I finished with a chuckle, just trying to make light of the situation for her benefit.

"Oh baby I'm so sorry." She said as she moved over to give me a hug.

"It's fine. That's what happens over there, I wish I could change it but I can't."

"Would his name happen to be one of the dog tags tattooed on your ribs?"

How the hell had she seen those? I had a tattoo of an American flag all folded up, with a line of dog tags under them with the name and date of everyone under my command that was lost. I didn't think she'd seen me with my shirt off since I came home, since I got it right before my last deployment.

"When did you see that?"

"When you were in the coma and we came to visit you."

"Ah. I guess that makes more sense." I started. "But yea, he's one of them."

"I'm sorry honey. I can't imagine how tough that must be, I know your dad knows more about that than I do." She said sincerely.

"It's definitely the worst part of combat." I finished.

"Here here! My dad said, raising his coffee mug up in a mock toast.

**

By about noontime I was starting to get restless and needed to do something. I figured I'd head out to the barn and start working on that old truck I was going to give to my younger brother when he turned sixteen. Kid was fifteen now, so if life kept going the way it was he probably wouldn't get the truck until he was twenty at the earliest.