Once upon a Secret

The main character is not me. This is a pure fantasy scenario.

Malcolm Lawrence was good at keeping his secret. He hid what he considered to be his true self from everyone. His marriage to Marybeth was going strong after 25 years, and although she knew he had a fetish, he gave no indication to her about how much it meant. After being open about it, for a time, early in their relationship, she asked him to basically give it up as she just didn't understand the idea and didn't want to. After being told that, Malcolm just kept it completely to himself. He had no desire to share his nature with close confidants, his mental health counselor or any anonymous characters on the internet. And he didn't worry about blurting it out as he never got drunk or high. It was very personal to Malcolm, and until he met Trinity, he thought that he would carry that secret into his grave.

The secret did involve items to hide. Malcolm was able to do that mostly in plain sight of Marybeth at home in his own bedroom dresser. It was he that handled all the laundry, as he always had, so there was no need for Marybeth to go through his dresser drawers. Even if she did, there was that one drawer of his that was seemingly stuck shut. Only he knew the trick to opening it. She likely thought that it was unusable, and as it was his chest of drawers, she gave no indication that it mattered.

Malcolm had little trouble obtaining items to put in his drawer. Although Marybeth handled the money for the family, he had a cash allowance to purchase lunches. He would often use cash saved to pay for the items. And over the years, he learned that certain large chain stores didn't itemize their reciepts electronically. So he had little trouble keeping minor purchases from his wife. The only other issues with the items were timing and discretion. For that, he relied, mostly, on his wife having a far more active social life than his.

Marybeth had weekly choir practice as well as her charity events and her standing biweekly date with her mother to play slots or bingo at a casino. Should she arrive home early from an event, there was the warning of the garage door that gave Malcolm plenty of time before she secured the car in the garage before reentering the house. He used that time to simply put on his black kimono style robe and matching bottoms. Underneath the robe, he was dressed in women's lingerie.

Did this make Malcolm a crossdresser? Not in his mind, as he was never out in public or posting his image online. This was very private. And it would have remained that way if it weren't for his neighbor, Trinity.

Malcolm and Marybeth's house was in a rather quiet suburban community. They had few neighbors, that they knew well, despite being rooted there for nearly twenty years. Their kids were off on their own yet close enough to visit or entertain the grandkids. So with Marybeth out of the house most evenings, Malcolm could finish his shift as a bus driver and be home in time to dress in his evening attire just after 4 pm. He would enjoy the privacy and solitude by selecting lingerie, then taking it to the bathroom where he could shower before dressing. Only after covering himself with his robe would he go preapare his dinner before relaxing on the sofa with the TV and his laptop. Porn was bedroom only, and even then he rarely indulged. By 8 pm, it was time to retire as his day started at 4 am. Marybeth would come to bed late around 12:30 am, if she didn't just fall asleep in her chair. When she did join Malcolm, she would find him in a pj top and a long or short legged bottom. Underneath, whether she knew it or not, was Malcolm's lingerie.

Malcolm's collection was in a variety of colors, sillhouetes and styles. But it was really all about the feel of the fabric for him. He loved the smoothness of silk and satin, the delicate unevenness of lace as well as the hug of spandex. Without looking, he could find an outfit in his drawer from the subtle difference in the feel of each piece. And on occasion, he enjoyed nylon stockings and garter belts. Those were for occasions when he knew that Marybeth would not be coming to bed.

As far as the actual obtaining of Malcolm's lingerie, besides the large chain stores when they had clearance sales, there was one local independent retailer he that got his repeat business, Babe-a-lon. The staff was helpful but would let him browse without interruption. The selection in plus size was unequaled, and it was a place where there was little if any chance of running into any of Marybeth's friends. Upon his first couple of purchases, he talked as if the items were for his wife. But in his several subsequent visits, the staff never inquired about for whom he made the purchase. So, for years, he had the perfect secret obsession. He just didn't count on having Trinity get a peek underneath his robe.

Trinity was a thirty something Irish woman who had moved into the house across the street from Malcolm and Marybeth about a year before their encounter. Her roommate was Ailish who was later discovered to be her first cousin. Their closeness and public familial affections fooled the neighborhood into the belief that they were lesbians. Ailish was the classic Irish redhead with a model's physique. She definitely was a bit of eye candy to Malcolm who had a thing for redheads. But Trintiy, despite being more curvy, was even more interesting to him. With her raven hair partially shaved off one side and several tattoos showing including a Chinese dragon on her right arm and a jeweled stud in her nose, she had a clear punk look. But for Malcolm, it was her greyish blue eyes that didn't quite go with her naturally black hair and contrasting alabaster skin that gave her the intrigue.

About a month after Trinity and Ailish had moved in and the neighborhood had pinned the lesbian couple tag on them, Malcolm finally got a chance to meet Trinity at the communal mail box cluster. She mentioned getting help moving from an ex-boyfriend and that she and Ailish were closely related and were closer than her own brothers and sister who were several years older. Malcolm welcomed them to the neighborhood and invited them to come over some evening to meet Marybeth when she wasn't busy. He thought very little about the Irish cousins for awhile as they did not take him up on the offer. There were a number of subsequent freindly encounters at the grocery store, while wheeling out garbage cans and again at the mailbox. But there was nothing to indicate the future connection.

Spring, Summer and most of Fall passed before that night that Trinty came to knock on Malcolm's door. While Marybeth was at a charity auction for JDRF, Malcolm had dressed for the night in a black and purple corset-like basque with garters for his favorite back-seemed, thigh-high stockings and matching thong. He always kept a robe nearby for those very rare surprise knocks at the door. One of his felines had barfed on his long black robe, so he had both the kimono and the bottoms in the living room as he watched HBO and surfed the internet.

It was late November on the Friday before Thanksgiving, and the weather was nasty. The rain was intermittently heavy along with 20 mph winds gusting to 40+ mph. Malcolm noticed that the power was out across the street. That was typical of their neighborhood as the grid was split down their street. But not only did Malcolm still have power, but his cable and internet were still on with no issues. He was blissfully ignoring the storm that rivaled the one viewed on his TV before his life changing encounter initiated.

The actual knock startled Malcolm so much that he scared Reba, his orange tabby who occupied his lap. She bolted up and out of the room leaving him with small claw punctures in his leg. But he did manage to get quickly off the sofa and slip on the black satin bottoms and the kimono. With the remote in reach on the way to the door, he muted the TV before opening the door a crack. He saw a drenched Trintiy in a hooded heavy raincoat with a watch cap covering her head. She had her arms tight to her side and a look of misery on her face. "Hi. I'm sorry to bother you. But our power is out, and I need to charge my phone to get ahold of Ailish."

"Of course. Come in, please." Malcolm reached out to beckon Trinity in then closed the door behind her to keep heat in. "Why, you look like you're nearly hypothermic! Let me hang up your coat. You can slip out of those boots and have a seat near the vent. That should warm you up...How long were you out there?"

"Well, I had to walk a couple of miles after the bus broke down. I didn't think it rained like this in Seattle. I thought that it just misted."

"This is unusual for us. But we can get a few storms this time of year. Let me get you something hot to drink. I have tea, coffee or cocoa. What would you prefer?"

"Tea would be lovely. Thanks."

Malcolm was off to the kitchen to heat the kettle of water. He called back to Trinity. "I have a pad charger over on the desk near you for your phone. Or, there's a power strip for your charger if you have it."

"Thank you...I found it...You have a very nice home here. I like the colors of the walls and trim."

"Thanks." Malcolm poked his head around the corner to be able to see Trinity and still be close to the kettle. "It's all Marybeth's doing. She has a artist's eye for these things."

"So, are these her photographs and paintings out here?"

"Yes...Oh, what kind of tea do you like?"

"Chai, if you have it, or anything that's handy, really...Her work is stunning. I wish I were half as good." Malcolm saw the kettle start to steam before he could respond, so he slipped back in the kitchen and turned off the burner. He pulled two tea bags of chai tea and two mugs, then he poored the water in each to start the brewing. The filled mugs went on a tray with the sugar bowls, two spoons and a carton of half-and-half from the fridge. As he came out with the tray, he spotted Trintity sitting on the desk chair watching her phone on the charger. He put the tray down on the coffee table in front of her and grabbed his own mug. "Thank you, Mr Lawrence." she said as a smile came to her face that was enough to brighten the room.

"It's just Malcolm. My father was Mr Lawrence." Malcolm sat down and waited for his tea to brew as Trinity checked out an alert from her phone.

"Oh, good!" Trinity exclaimed. "Ailish is going to stay with friends, tonight. I was hoping that she wouldn't try to drive in this storm."

"That's good. Marybeth texted me earlier that she was doing the same. Now, neither of us has to worry...I can even set you up in the spare bedroom tongiht."

"I wouldn't think of it, Malcolm. I'll just crawl in my bed with an extra quilt on top."

"Nonsense." Malcolm shook his head. "There's little chance of them getting your power back on tonight. So, you're staying right here where you'll be comfortable...I mean, please stay. I'll be a horrible host if you don't...That bedroom door locks from the inside, by the way."

"Well, I shouldn't...What would the neighbors think?" Trinty gave him a smile and a wink as she reached for her tea.

Malcolm laughed. "I don't know about you, but one; I couldn't care less. Two; I doubt that any of them noticed you coming over here. And three; if there is a scandal, it will only be mildly interesting until something else comes along, then it will be forgotten...Or, it will be all over the internet, and we'll be be on TMZ."

Trinity nearly spilled her tea as she laughed. "Okay Malcolm, now that I know what fun you are, I'm happy to stay until the power comes back on, even if that means spending the night."

"Great! Let's see if there's anything interesting to watch...Oh shoot. It looks like I've lost the cable. Well, I've got more than a few DVD's here by the TV stand." Malcolm got down on his knees to grab some DVD cases to show Trinity. He was scanning for some likely titles from his alphabetical ordered collection from Animal House to Zoolander when he realized that his robe had come loose. Quickly he tucked it back in place and hoped that she hadn't seen his outfit underneath.

Trinity looked over the cases that Malcolm handed her until she came across The Princess Bride. "Ooh, let's watch this!" Malcolm smiled as he put the disk in the DVD player as the movie she had chosen was his favorite as well. They sat back to watch with Trinity in Marybeth's chair and Malcolm on the sofa. He kept the sound fairly low so that they could hear either of their phones. Trinity felt free to make comments as they weren't in a theater and both had enjoyed the film several times before. At one point, she tossed over, "You know, I think what you're wearing under that robe is rather cute."

Malcolm gulped and tried a white lie. "But I'm not wearing anything under this, really."

"It's okay. I got a peek when you were on the floor. And besides, I can see from your feet that you have nylon stockings on."

"Oh yeah, I do. But just to keep my legs and feet warm. We need to insulate the house better, and until we do, we have the thermostat down low to save money."

"That would make sense, except that those stockings have a back seam without toe or heel reinforcement. They're not going to keep you very warm. I'll bet that they're connected to an outfit under your robe with garters. And, I can see some heeled slippers with marabou trim under the sofa."

"Umm. Sorry, I don't know what to say..."

"You don't have to say anything. Of course, how you dress is really none of my business, but assuming that the rest of your outfit matches those stockings and slippers, it wouldn't bother me in the least. In fact, I think that it would be very cool. There's no reason to be ashamed."

"I'm not ashamed. I wasn't trying to, you know..."

"Of course. There was no way that you were expecting company tonight. I probably shouldn't have said anything, but it would seem that we have an obsession in common."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, despite your efforts to hide it, you and I both have a passion for lingerie, at least certain pieces."

"How so you get all that from stockings on my feet?"

"You also gave me a couple of other peeks tonight. There was a reflection in the window before you brought in the tray. And just now, when you bent down to get the DVD's...Look Malcolm, it's okay. There will be no 'outing' or bribing from me. You're obviously a very kind and generous man. It would be very rude of me to put you in a bad spot after you took me in tonight...I am a bit curious though. I wonder if your wife knows and if she does, does she even care?"

"What Marybeth knows or doesn't, she would not like anyone else knowing."

"It's fine. You can relax..."

"No, that's going to be rather difficult. You have discovered my deepest secret, and yet I know next to nothing about you."

"Well Malcolm, I don't know what I can offer that you would consider equal to your secret. As a counselor to mostly troubled teenagers, I'm used to keeping strict confidence. We can consider this a session, if you like. That way I'd be bound to speak to no one about you...My life is an open book, however. You can go on Facebook, Twiter or Instagram and see what I'm up to. I don't post or re-post negative memes about individuals, and I'm very careful about re-posting, as well." Trinity picked up her phone and within a minute, she had poked and given Malcolm a friend request on Facebook. She then sat back and watched the movie while he got to know her online.

It was true that Trinity appeared to have nothing to hide. There were no drunk photos, no hate speach and no big rants. After a few minutes, she asked, "Seen enough?" Then without waiting for a response, she added, "Now take a look at some guys who post pictures of themselves in lingerie. Many of them have normal lives just like you."

"No thanks." Malcolm cringed. "I have no desire to be a part of that."

"And that's fine. But to those guys it's not a big deal to be...out."

"It would be to Marybeth and my kids. Plus, there would be friends at work who would never look me in the eye again."

"That would be their loss. I barely know you, Malcolm, but I know what a good guy you are...Perhaps, you deserve to be able to share this part of your life with someone. It could be fate that I'm here tonight. And even if you don't believe in fate, I am here. We can't go back. I do share your secret, but...I do promise...no, I swear on my life that I will keep it."

Malcolm looked over at Trintiy. There was a look from her that he'd seen from his own counselor, one of almost professional reassurance. She had also kept glancing at his stocking covered feet and his robe. He realized that she could have just kept her observation to herself and used it against him later, somehow. But there was intrigue from her, and he was the focus. It had been a very long time since he had produced intrigue in anyone. Not to mention that Trinity had very pleasing curves, and despite being tattooed and pierced, she still seemed youthful and fresh.

After a few moments, Malcolm shook his head, then asked, "Even if I do trust you, what does that mean? I'm not sure that I'm comfortable showing you more. The thought of doing anything is terrifying...But please, don't leave or anything on my account. You're still welcome to stay, in fact, I insist. I just don't know we're supposed to do now."

"We don't have to do anything, Malcolm...I can see that bringing this up has made you very uncomfortable. There's this exercise that we could try to turn that around. If you just trust me and follow my lead, you'll soon feel much better."

"I'm not sure. What do you want me to do?"

"I'm going to do nothing but talk while sitting right here. And you don't even have to move. Okay? First, just close your eyes."

"I don't know..."

"Just for a minute. I'm going to stay right over here where I can't reach you. Please, it would make me feel better to have you relaxed."

Malcolm exhaled. "Allright." He closed his eyes and let Trinity have control.

"Good. Now shake your arms and let go of any tension in them or your shoulders. Now wriggle your toes and feet then your legs. Good. Now find a position where you're relaxed but not ready for sleep, just solidly comfortable. Okay. I want you to just take a slow deep breath in through your nose then let it out through your mouth. Good. You should be more relaxed now. Think of all the tension you have as a bunch of balloons, and just start letting them go. Watch them soar away taking more and more negative thoughts and issues from you. When you feel relaxed and ready to go on, I want you to just nod." After a couple more breaths, Malcolm felt as good as he was going to be without falling asleep, so he nodded.

Trinity continued. "Okay. Now, I want you to go back to the minute before I came in. What were you doing?"

"I was sitting here with Reba on my lap checking out something on the internet and watching Game of Thrones on TV."

"Okay. So you're alone and you're going to be alone the rest of the night. No one will come to the door, the phone won't ring. You're going to have a nice evening by yourself. Your cat gets up to go eat, and Game of Thrones comes to one of those scenes where two characters start to show passion and disrobe each other. You start surfing for porn..."

"No. I never do that in the living room. That's bedroom only, as a rule."

"Okay, you don't need to do that. Keep your eyes closed and breathe. So you close your laptop and just watch the scene on TV. It's a really good one that makes you a bit turned on. It's cozy in here. You're alone wearing what you have on now. Those black stockings feel really good on your legs. Don't they? You're alone and wouldn't have your robe on. Would you?" Malocom shook his head. "Okay, with your eyes closed still, I want you to see your legs in the stockings. They look very sexy. Don't they? Can you feel them? Can you run your hand over the nylons to feel how sexy they are?"