One Good Turn Returns Another Ch. 02

RING RING RING

"What the?" My standard after lunch nap is suddenly disturbed. The doorbell is ringing. God, I hope that it isn't another religious, political, or any other fuckin' salesperson. I've gotten in to the habit of saying salesperson, not salesman. Found out that being respectful to others has provided me with some advantages over the years.

When I'm not interested, I'm always polite with a 'No thank you'. If they disregard that and come at me again, I look at them in the eye then say in a polite way, and without venom, 'I am only polite the first time. If my request is disregarded, then I turn nasty. If it continues, I get real nasty. How would you like to proceed with me?' I've had a half a dozen find out about nasty and only one got my real nasty. Hey, it works for me.

Looking through the peep hole I see its Tess, Chloe's grandmother. Opening the door I say "Tess, it is great to see you again. Is there any problem with Chloe?" It's been 2 months since Chloe left her house and 5 weeks since my garden and hot tub had unwelcomed visitors.

"No, everything's fine. I wanted to thank you for all the help you gave to Chloe."

"Well, come on in. Can I get you anything? Water, sparkling water, coffee, tea, wine, beer, bourbon, margarita, foofoo wine coolers, ouzo...OH,I KNOW, MALORT." That's when I start laughing.

I see a grimace (she's had to have sampled that liquor). "How about a cup of coffee with cream and sugar. Can we sit in your garden?" She then looked questioningly at me, "You really have Malort? I thought that they only sold that in bars?"

"This is Chicago so yes on the Malort as well as a couple of other digestifs and other herbal liqueurs." (It is so cool that I can properly pronounce digestifs.) "Come this way to the kitchen." I start to walk toward the back of the house and for the first time in a while, I see the clutter. "I'm afraid that it's the maid's year off." I laugh nervously. It's clutter with a bit of dust. It's not hording or unsanitary. I'm feeling like a kid that was brought to the emergency room and I forgot to change my underwear that morning. My mother always warned me...

"Bill, I've seen worse. Please don't worry about it." Walking into the kitchen, it was different. "Correct me if I'm wrong, by the cleanliness and the whiff of disinfectant in the air, you scrubbed this today?"

"Oh no. I cooked chicken stir fry last night so I scrubbed it all down before going to bed. I also cleaned the exhaust fan as it was time." I walked over to the edge of the counter pointing to a machine on the counter. "It's from my grandkids; I have one of those single cup thing-a-ma-jig coffee makers." I picked up my box of assorted k-cups left over as 'gifts' from my dinners, and gave it to her. "Pick what you'd like."

Rooting through the selection, she pulled out a dark French roast. Here is a woman with taste. I took her selection then took out a random k-cup for me - Dunkin' Donuts. Somehow, I don't think that this was going to impress her. I had a pained expression which she saw and laughed.

"Come on Bill, try again. I can't hold that one against you." I tossed it back in, closed my eyes and pulled out a peppermint decaf. I tossed that one in and pulled out a French vanilla mocha decaf with my face showing my pain.

Laughing, she took that one from my hands and tossed it back in. She rooted around and found the last remaining dark French roast.

"Thank you so much for saving me from a pain worse than death. Well, if not death, then at least torture by foofoo coffee." I made the two coffees and we each customized our own. I like my coffee 'strong, white and sweet'. Growing up I kept hearing my uncles say they wanted their coffee 'Strong and Black'. It wasn't until my 20's after returning from Nam when I understood that their phrase was always followed by a racist joke concerning Black women. Once I realized what they were doing, I stopped laughing and walked away. One day they saw a picture of my unit in the Delta. There were no more racist jokes after that. There were dumb Polack jokes, but if you're in that group, only your own group is allowed to poke fun at themselves. And believe me, I got some great ones. With those, the Russians don't come out smelling like roses.

We ended up in the part of the backyard where I had built a sheltered sitting area surrounded by evergreens and roses. "So how is Chloe doing? I haven't seen her since that day she pulled her things from the house."

"She's doing real well." Then she looked around to see if anyone was within ear shot. It's 11AM in a working class neighborhood. The only people not working are us retired folks, the disabled or somebody sick. Ain't no nannies or stay-at-home moms in this here neighborhood. The neighborhood families generally tend to keep their heads above the financial water line. Just about everyone is working to try to get ahead. Lines on jobs are routinely passed around for those that need it.

"She told me about your little present to Trevor. Thank you."

SHIT. "She wasn't supposed to say a word about it to anyone. Just she and Jerry were supposed to know."

"I'm her favorite Grandmother, and confident. I may add that I'm the only confident. She doesn't get along well with her father and my daughter. As far as I know, Jerry has been mum.

"Do you want to know what happened after their little trespassing escapade?" Smiling she continued, "It's real juicy." The look of anticipation and glee on her face disarmed me. I nodded yes.

"The sounds of the car with the bad muffler set her off. That sound had been grating on her nerves for weeks. Without telling her, Jerry got the car fixed the Monday before, and had the paperwork just somehow lying around the house to prove it. Then having the very mild mannered Jerry loudly cussing then followed by a gun blast was genius. As you know, the only way they could go to get away from 'him' was to go through the garden to the alley. I'm sure you saw that they both fell down twice and that Trevor then abandoned her. Both got several thorns imbedded in their feet and they both ended up in the emergency room."

"Well Tess, about 5 - 6 minutes after they left the hot tub, she was still paralyzed in the roses. However, Trevor somehow already scampered over the back fence and was hiding in the alley. I then played the clip of Jerry's car leaving. I saw Trevor limp naked back to his house. He grabbed some clothes and shoes and got Brea's clothes and shoes. In the indirect streetlight, I saw that both of them already had large red blotches over their bodies and some on their faces, and they were starting to scratch. I also saw a series of bleeding red lines from the thorns. I thought that the multiple bloody scratches and red blotches on his face and hands were not going to do well for his salesman position at the dealership. Good-by to selling new Cadillac Escalades, hello to selling used cars in a gateway neighborhood in Chicago?"

We both laughed. "I always disliked that man. However, I supported any good thing in their marriage. Toward the end, he was just emotionally abusive to my granddaughter Chloe. That's when my dislike moved toward hate. Before the night he hit her, she and I talked about her possibly leaving the house and then demanding counseling.

"They both ended up in the ER. The imbedded thorns in their feet and their skin rashes forced them there. Brea was discharged in time for Jerry to take her home. She stayed there for three days. Then she moved out. She decided not to fight for her lost marriage and moved back home. She signed the divorce papers and took the fair settlement that Jerry offered. She was off from her teaching job for nearly three weeks. The scratches on her face healed slowly. A thorn infected her right foot and that took longer to heal." I held up my coffee and we toasted.

"Trevor was a different story. He lost his sales job immediately. Who want to buy a Cadillac from Scarface?" We both chuckled. "He was off his feet for 2 weeks and also decided to quickly sign the divorce papers. The lack of income and a very possible spousal abuse charge helped. As he was the only one living at the house, rent was sucking up his rapidly declining funds." I held up my coffee and we toasted again.

"That is what brings me here today. Both their names were on the lease. Chloe can't afford the place on her own." That's when she looked into my eyes. "My apartment's lease was up... so... neighbor... Want to welcome me to the neighborhood?" Her eyes sparkled and her mouth broke into a wide grim.

"When do you start? Do you need a hand? What can I do?"

"Chloe's whole crew will be here Saturday with her and my things. I'm going to be spending the next 2 days giving the house a good cleaning. Today was to see what had to be done and bring the supplies and actually start cleaning tomorrow. Want to come with me to inspect the house?"

"We have a couple of swigs of coffee left, and wasting good coffee is just outright wrong, so... 5 minutes with another minute for me to get a clip board and some flashlights?" She nodded yes and we both sipped our remaining coffees.

Trevor lived alone in that house for a total of 6 weeks. I never realized how one person in such a short time could make it so filthy. The bathrooms needed scrubbing and repainting. He started to use those walls as a notepad. The kitchen had rotted food in the fridge, the oven, the table and counters as well as the floor. It's summer and flying bugs already descended. The garbage can in the kitchen was empty. Tess was pretty discouraged. As she was writing down all that had to be done, I told her that I'd be back in 5 minutes.

I returned with buckets, disinfectant, rags, industrial level rubber gloves, and in my case, I had already changed my clothes. Oh yes, I had a smile and several cold bottles of water and heavy duty garbage bags. "I'll start emptying the kitchen." and immediately disappeared, not giving her a chance to stop me. She was in a bit of shock for a minute, but broke out of it when she started hearing takeout food containers being pulled from the fridge and tossed into a garbage bag.

It took us an hour to fully empty the kitchen. The only things that we kept were unused paper towels, pots and pans, dishes and silverware, unopened bags of barley and rice in canisters and finally, canned goods. Because of the rat droppings, even the ramen was suspect. Then we started on scrubbing everything down. An hour later, I went back to my house to get my shop vac. By the time 5 PM rolled around, we had made a very good dent in cleaning the kitchen.

"How about we take a bit of a break for dinner? I can pull something together from my freezer and you can take a break? What do you think?"

"Bill..... Looking at what we have left to do, it'll take us about 2 plus hours. How about we order a pizza for delivery and just keep going? I know that I'll feel much better if the kitchen is completed today."

"Tess, I like garbage pizza. Anything you don't want on it?"

"No fan of anchovies outside of Greek salads. Please tell me you do not desecrate your pizza with pineapple?"

"Pineapple on pizza? You may as well eat pasta with canned tomato soup for red sauce." I play acted tossing my cookies on the floor with a finger down my throat. "On to the other stuff? Oh boy, this is our first negotiation. How about Chicago style sausage, no pepperoni, green peppers, black olives, mushrooms and onions."

"Extra cheese?"

"Lady, you drive a hard bargain." She chuckled at me. "I'm going to throw this out to you as an option. It'll take longer but it may be worth it. Tess, how do you feel about a deep dish from the local Lou Malnotis?"

"Oh my lord, I haven't had a real Chicago deep dish pizza in years. Yes Yes Yes, but it's my treat." She pulled out her phone and pulled a credit card from her pocket book and made the call.

We were about an hour shy of finishing the entire kitchen when the door bell rang. She tipped the delivery person and carried the deep dish to my house and into the kitchen. I had pulled out napkins, silverware, glasses and more water. We both headed to the table in the sitting area of my back yard, when she stopped and opened the box. The aroma of the pizza stopped us cold.

Then actually looking at the open box, we feasted with our eyes. Real deep dish is a special treat. It's also an acquired taste. It can't be an everyday thing. Chicago style deep dish pizza really requires a fork and knife - or a very large bib and two messy hands. That's when she looked at me, really looked at me. I answered with my very eloquent "HUH?" Then she laughed and touched my arm.

"I know that I'm famished and you are probably too. How do you feel about eating a little bit to immediately kill our hunger then finish the kitchen? Then we can leisurely continue our meal with a nice glass of wine? There is a bottle of red 'four buck chuck' from Trader Joes I found in the living room that we can liberate. What do you think?"

"I have no problem with that, but how are you going to get home tonight?"

"I'll call Chloe right now to see if she is available. You've cleaned up so why don't you have some water to rehydrate. I still have to wash my face and hands and?... Your washroom is in the same place as it is in my rental?" I nodded yes as she walked toward the bathroom. I thought for a second and jumped in terror, then realized that I had cleaned the bathroom yesterday. WHEW. It was 5 minutes later when she returned.

"Chloe will come on by after 9 PM to take me home. I'll leave my car on the street here. She'll drop me off in the morning by 8 am."

"Good, I'll have breakfast waiting for you. Anything I should stay away from?"

"Jelly donuts and coffee is not a breakfast."

"Awwwwww darn, I thought that..." Finally turning toward her, she saw my grin. I completely disarmed her protests. She got it and smiled back. "How do you feel about bagels or toasted English muffins with two eggs or yogurt with fruit or any combination of the above? I don't do breakfast sausages or bacon or any high animal fat foods. A brother loved that stuff and his emergency triple by-pass nearly killed him."

"Let me see. You are helping me clean the house out of the goodness of your heart. You are trying to take care of your heart, and mine. We won't talk about the deep dish FOR NOW. You helped Chloe, twice. I don't know. Can you be trusted sharing a bottle of wine with me and cooking breakfast?" She leaned over to me and kissed my cheek.

"I take it that you want to take a picture of my driver license to send to all your friends and relatives for your safety?"

"Don't worry; I've had three grown grandchildren research you on the net. Let me see what I remember. There were two stints in Statesville Penitentiary for excessive helpfulness and wholesomeness. Then three times you spent 6 months in Cook County Jail for spontaneous optimism in the face of soul destroying anger. Then you were sited five times for rescuing Damsels in Distress." We both just started laughing as she continued. "Uncountable examples of speaking kindly to strangers, even those with an attitude." I looked at her quizzedly. Where did this last one come from? She caught my questioning. "Chloe has seen you in action when you did not think that anyone was looking." She smiled a knowing smile. I felt that I had been dancing like no one was looking, but somebody was. "Anything else I should know about?"

"Phew. You missed the biggest ones. You're going to have your grandchildren do more searching. My lips are sealed."

The deep dish was cut into 6 pieces. We took one and cut that one in half, sharing it. The cold water rehydrated us and the fat, salt and carbs of the pizza refreshed us - the trifecta of bad eating that is sooooo gooood. Never underestimate how a piece of great pizza can resituate the tired and worn, the huddled masses yearning...

At times like this, I feel that I know that there is a god, and sometimes he does share some of heaven with us. We've been running on fumes before our pizza break. After the wonderful half slice of deep dish, we were able to finish cleaning, organizing and making a list to restock the kitchen in less than 45 minutes.

I offered her my shower if she wanted one now, but she refused. "I don't have anything to change into." We were walking past my hot tub when she stopped and smiled. "This, on the other hand...." and she smiled wider and laughed. "Let's get the wine, water and pizza and hit your garden sitting area. I rather like it back there." It was less than 5 minutes later when we each had our own full piece of deep dish and a glass of Trader Joe's red wine of some sort. It may have been a cab, maybe a merlot, a pinot or a whatever. The wine tasted good because I didn't buy it and it was breathing for the past hour. Cheap, errr... somebody else's inexpensive red wine breathing makes a better tasting wine. At least if it wasn't Good-O-Vino, bottled in Brooklyn and in the early '80's was on sale 5 for $4.

"Without sounding forward, how long have you been a widower? I saw pictures of a much younger you with a woman in a wedding dress on your wall. Then there were many pictures of what, 2 kids?"

"It's been less than 4 years since Darleen's hidden brain aneurysm burst and I've been alone ever since. We became empty nesters in our early 60's, about 10 years ago. Three grandchildren from the daughter. Son and daughter-in-law have no plans for kids. It's their call, not mine. I'm only the cheering section for the team, I don't run it. That was Darleen's self appointed job and that's why the kids live on the West and the East coasts."

"Becoming a widow quickly was the same with me. It was 8 years ago when Harry, who never really took care of himself, suddenly died from a heart problem while at work. Couldn't be bothered with taking even the minor prescribed blood pressure medicine."

"As you have grandchildren, I take it you had kids? Albert Einstein here reporting for duty."

"Say, have you always been a smart ass or is it just my special day." She smiled as she refilled my wine glass. I raised one eyebrow as she chuckled. "You only have to crawl home. Have some water as a chaser. I won't be far behind you. With all the work we did today, you have no idea how grateful I am for your help, and more so, for your company. Even without the wine and all the hard work, I haven't felt so good in years."

"In vino veritas - in wine there is truth"

We kept talking the rest of the evening when Chloe appeared. Her sudden appearance shocked the both of us and we jumped. Seeing the smile on her grandmother's face, she said "OK, who got who drunk?" On cue, we each pointed to each other, saw what we did, and laughed till our sides hurt. After a bit of touching bases and sharing a half glass of wine with Chloe, we all went into the rental and reviewed the work we did and what had to be done.

"That asshole..."

"Watch your mouth young lady. Your grandmother has many times claimed that description of your ex today. You have to call him something else. Might I suggest something in a foreign language, it always sounds so much classier if you..."

Tess broke in "Just make it dupek." and Chloe and I broke out laughing. Clearing my throat, "May I suggest stronzo. That's the Italian masculine form of asshole. Maybe it should be stronza, the feminine form." Chloe just shook her head and replied to me. "OK, Stronza it is." We finished the tour and went back to my garden.

At this point, we were all drinking water when we agreed on the plan for tomorrow. Tess' car would remain here and Chloe would drop her off tomorrow morning at 8 and pick her up at 9 tomorrow night. Tess would bring a change of clothes as well as a bathing suit so we both could enjoy the hot tub. Relaxing my muscles while alone in the hot tub always seemed to be a waste. Having a companion on the other hand...