One Helluva Mistake

"So... when and where?" she asked confidently. "Surely that's the part of this conversation you had down pat."

"How about next Saturday night? There's a neat little French restaurant on the south side of the city. Kind of upscale," I said.

"What's your address? I'll pick you up at 6, unless of course you just want to meet me here in the park. Unsavory character that I am."

She returned my grin and gave me her address.

After Angel, Jackie and I threw the Frisbee around for our usual 45 minutes the next Saturday morning, the girls approached me before they ran off to the swings.

"So, you and my mom, huh?" Angel asked. "She hasn't had too many dates since my dad died. You'd better be real nice to her, you know."

"I promise, Angel. I'll be super-nice, okay?" I said, trying to hold in my laugh.

"None of that kissy stuff," Jackie volunteered, causing both girls to cackle. "My parents do that all the time. Eww."

"I don't think you guys have to worry about that," I said, hoping inside that maybe I was wrong.

I suppose I should have just rolled up in the driveway and honked my horn, like my daughters' boyfriends tried to do when they dated, but I knew better than that, so I actually got out of my car and went up to Maddie's door. I wasn't surprised when Angel answered.

"Wow. You look really different than you looked this morning," Angel gushed.

We talked for a few minutes before Maddie came into the room wearing a dark blue dress that showed just a touch of cleavage and came down to mid-thigh. She had on a bit of makeup and lipstick. She cleaned up good.

I barely had the car out of her driveway when Maddie spoke.

"So, I hear from my daughter that you don't like to kiss girls," she said. "Is there something I should know about you?"

I almost choked to death while I drove. It took me a bit to regain my composure.

"That's not exactly what I said. But I was warned by the girls that I shouldn't try 'any of that kissy stuff' with you. Jackie's parents apparently do it all the time, and it's 'eww,'" I said.

She gave me that lyrical, hearty laugh.

"I can't wait to tell that to Marty and Grace. They'll fall out of a tree laughing," she said.

"So you're telling me you're not opposed to 'that kissy stuff?'"

"Not at all," I said.

Walking in to the restaurant for the first time in almost three years was like being in a time machine. After holding the door for Maddie, I followed her in, then stopped abruptly. Maddie heard me stop, and turned around.

"We don't have to do this, Rob," she said quietly.

I shook my head to clear my thoughts.

"No, I'm good, Maddie. It's time for me to let go of the past... all of it," I said.

Henri, the maitre d', greeted me like an old friend, and had enough class to ask me to introduce him to my date when we got seated. I spotted a couple of people I hadn't seen in a while, and both of them nodded at me politely. I saw that Maddie noticed I wasn't exactly a stranger here.

Maddie started to look a little uncomfortable right after we were served our wine and salads. I knew it was coming, but I wasn't looking forward to explaining it to her.

"Is my dress unzipped or something, Rob? Everybody keeps glancing over here," she whispered to me as she leaned forward.

"You really don't know. Do you?" I asked.

******

Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! The girls were going to be awake within the next hour, and there was no way I was going to be able to shield them from the onslaught that was coming. Then, there was the fact that I had to pick up Traci from the airport at noon, and not kill her.

As I sat in the kitchen drinking the coffee I had made, I seriously wondered if I could get away with killing her if I lived in Texas. Texas juries always seemed to be more common sense than juries in any other state. I took another look at the photos on my computer. Fuck, they were still there.

I heard stirring from upstairs, followed by a blood-curling shriek that was probably heard two states over. That was followed by screams from both girls and footsteps charging down the stairs.

"OH MY GOD, DAD, DID YOU SEE..." Hailey was screaming as she entered the kitchen, coming to a skidding stop as she looked at my face. Becca was hot on her heels, and actually ran into her when Hailey stopped short.

They both looked at my face and burst into tears, each taking a shoulder to cry on. I had to admit I joined them.

"What are we going to do, Dad?" Becca finally asked.

I gave them my most sincere look, despite my heart breaking into a million pieces.

"Well, the first thing you two are going to do is continue to love her," I said quietly. "You know she loves you, and you both know you love her, despite the stupid thing she's done. She's going to need that love more than ever, because I don't think I'm going to be able to stay married to her."

Both girls gasped.

"We understand, Dad. Really we do," Hailey said, "but can't you give her another chance? Doesn't everybody deserve one mistake?"

"Under better circumstances I'd probably agree with you, Hales, but this is really bad. She broke our wedding vows... and she broke my heart. I'll never again be able to trust her," I rasped.

"Those photos are disgusting, Dad. I never would have thought that Mom would ever slut around on you," Hailey said.

"Do you know he's a lot closer to our age than he is to Mom's," Becca chimed in.

"That's perfect," I said quietly, not having thought of that up until then.

"Do you want us to come to the airport with you when you pick her up? Would that help?" Becca asked.

"No. Thanks for asking, Bec. I'll get her by myself, and I promise I won't hurt her... at least not physically," I said.

"You do realize we're going to get absolutely killed in school for the next several weeks," Hailey remarked.

"Yeah, I suppose you're right," I replied. "I don't have a good answer for you on that one. Maybe since the photos are on an X-rated site, not too many of your friends will see them."

"But the whole thing with Nelson and his wife and Mom is on top on Facebook and Insta and everywhere," Becca said.

Traci looked stunned when she spotted me standing in the airport waiting for her, but she immediately dropped her eyes so she wasn't looking at me directly. She walked right up to me like she was going to move in for a greeting kiss, but seeing the look on my face made her pull up short.

"I'm so, so sorry Rob," she whispered to me.

"Sorry for cheating, sorry for hurting me or sorry for getting caught looking like the world's biggest whore?" I asked in the same whisper.

Her eyes shot up quickly, then went down again. She never did answer my question, but handed me her bag and we turned to leave. I noticed that several people in the crowd were looking harshly at Traci, and several had their phones up and were taking photos. Fuck. It begins.

"I don't know what to say to you," she finally said five minutes into the drive. "I know what you saw looks pretty bad..."

"Pretty bad?" I asked, making air quotes with my fingers. "It starts with epically bad and gets worse from there, babe. Were you planning on something like this happening when you got those tickets? You show up in the front row in a jean vest unbuttoned halfway down. You had more cleavage showing than most women even have tits!

"My God, Traci, he's a fucking kid, just a bit older than our daughters. Those photos are going to be on the Internet for your grandkids to see someday. How can you even begin to explain this to our daughters... or your parents?"

"Oh my God! I hadn't even thought about my parents! I'll never be able to look at my dad again," she cried.

"You don't even want to know how many views those pictures already have," I growled.

"How are we going to get past this, Traci? I don't see a way forward."

"No, don't say that, Rob," she said. "It was one mistake... out of all the time we've been together. Doesn't all our time together count for something?"

"You're right, babe, it was only one mistake... but it was one helluva mistake that the whole world knows about. You might as well get the word 'slut' tattooed on your forehead in bright red letters.

"If only his damn wife hadn't showed up in the middle of your second fuck. Probably me and the rest of the world wouldn't have been any the wiser, and you would have had the greatest memory of your lifetime. Hell, you probably still had the greatest memory of your lifetime, didn't you?"

I could tell from my peripheral vision that she was deep crimson. Fuck. I was right. I could hear myself breathing like a freight train.

"He's really good-looking and got a fantastic body, sort of like a young Mark Wahlberg. And he's a kid. He's got stamina," Traci admitted softly.

"And with you bouncing those melons in front of his face, shit, it was a no-brainer that he was going to ask you backstage. Did Carol get to go, too?" I asked.

"Yeah, she came with me and met the whole group, too," she said, "before Nelson and I went off to another room."

"Carol hook up with somebody, too?"

"Yeah. She told me she did the drummer a couple of times. They were off in another room when Nelson's wife burst in on us screaming and cursing," Traci related.

"You can't blame her, babe. You were riding her husband like he was a stallion..."

It was quiet again for several minutes. Apparently she wasn't going to answer my most anticipated question without being asked directly.

"Why, Traci? Am I not doing it for you anymore? At least tell me why you felt you had to cheat on me," I said.

"I... uh... I did it because I could, Rob," she said. "He's gorgeous. And I just knew that I could have him. Me. His wife is beautiful, but I knew I could make him want me. Can you imagine what power that gave me. Me. A 42-year-old nobody."

"But you're hardly a nobody, especially to me. You were everything to me. You didn't need to attract a star to prove it to me. I've always known you were something. What am I, chopped liver?" I said.

******

Maddie sat in shocked silence as I finished my tale of woe.

"Oh, please. Really?" she practically whispered.

"Yes, really," I replied. "I can't believe you haven't heard this before. I thought everybody in the whole city knew about this: local woman sleeps with star singer and breaks up his marriage to star actress. Tell me I've met the only other person in town who doesn't Facebook... or whatever it is this week."

"I'm a single mother of a young child. Who's got time for social media? I could care less about stupid politicians and self-entitled actors. When I get free time, I watch sports or read historical non-fiction," Maddie said.

"So that's why you're feeling like people are sneaking looks over here... because they are. They are looking at me with a combination of pity and scorn... and looking to see who would be stupid enough to be with a wimp like me," I said quietly.

"Sounds to me like you are paying for the sins of your ex-wife," she said. "What do your daughters think about the whole thing?"

"At first they were horrified over what my wife did, but gradually she was able to convince them she was entitled to her moment... her hall pass... and that I was just being a small-minded, egotistical bastard. I think she kept telling them that I was to blame for breaking up the family so much that they started to believe it. My relationship with my girls is strained, to say the least," I said.

"She cheated, but I'm the one they're mad at. I have to admit I don't completely understand the female mind. Hell, I'm not sure I understand the female mind at all."

"You seem to understand Angel and Jackie just fine, Frisbee guy," Maddie laughed.

We had a nice dinner. In truth, it was probably the best date I've had since the divorce. Especially since it was the only one.

******

Traci's company actually tried to fire her after her photos hit the Internet, citing conduct detrimental to the firm's image. She was ripping mad when I got home from work later that day.

"I called Leon Stang on the way home from the office. He's pretty sure I'll have my job back before end of day tomorrow, or those bastards will have one hell of a wrongful termination lawsuit on their hands," she told me when she explained that she was escorted out of her office by security.

"They didn't fire our COO when he had an affair. Why should they fire me?" she raged.

"Because his actual sex photos didn't end up on the Internet for the whole world to see," I answered blankly before turning to go upstairs to change.

"No, they fired me because I'm a woman," she yelled up at me. "What happened to supporting your wife?"

"What happened to not cheating on your husband?" I inquired down the stairway.

Apparently the board of Traci's company was afraid of her argument, because her attorney had her rehired by lunchtime the next day. She was strutting around the kitchen when I got home from work, the girls sitting enthralled at the kitchen table listening to her tale of victory.

"I made a mistake. Everybody gets one mistake. You just can't let people kick you when you're down, girls," she crowed.

I never said a word, just shook my head in disbelief and walked upstairs to change my clothes.

I had been sleeping in the guest room since Traci got home. We had gone a full week without talking about it. I think she was trying to wear me down, figuring that if I wasn't screaming about it, I'd eventually give in and it would hopefully just disappear. I was hoping that she was going to be incredibly remorseful and maybe, just maybe, give me a reason not to divorce her. If anything, she seemed to be comfortable with her debauchery.

Her comfort ended that night. After dinner I gave the girls some money and told them to enjoy themselves at a movie while their mother and I tried to work out our problems. They both looked at me with complete understanding and got the hell out of Dodge.

A few minutes later I walked in to the family room where Traci was watching something on the screen and turned the TV off.

"You want to talk about it, right?" she huffed.

"Wait. You cheat on me, humiliate me in front of the whole fucking country and ruin some prick's marriage, but you think you've got a right to be angry?" I yelled.

"I made a mistake. I said I was sorry. I can't unfuck the guy. What do you want from me: ashes and sackcloth?" she hurled back. "I'm not going to spend the rest of my life apologizing and hiding. I've got a life to live. If somebody's got a problem with that, they don't need to be friends with me.

"I took my shot at a once in a lifetime opportunity. I had a great night of sex. If his wife hadn't walked in, you and the rest of the world would be none the wiser. I'm not going to date him, or become his next wife. It was an amazing one-shot deal. Let it go," she wailed.

"What about the fact that my wife of 19 years just disrespected me and our marriage vows completely... in front of everybody. Obviously, you don't respect me..."

"Oh, please," she interjected. "Your fragile ego is just bruised because your hot wife went out and fucked some 25-year-old Adonis and now everyone's talking about it. You and half the straight male population have probably beaten off looking at my photos. Just get over it."

I know my mouth was hanging open in shock when she finished her speech. Here I was expecting a little remorse, when instead I got the old "fragile ego" shotgun blast to the face.

I had her served a week later. That went about as well as our talk.

"There's not going to be any divorce, Rob. Your feelings are just hurt. You know you love me. I still love you. You don't want to be sitting in a tiny apartment somewhere all alone for the rest of your life, do you?" she yelled after she was served at our house.

Somewhere along the line, the girls went from being outraged over their mother's behavior to accepting it and maybe even being somewhat proud about what she did. I overheard Hailey on her phone telling one of her friends that she wished it could have been her with Nelson instead of her mother. My father gene was being crushed.

The problem was that Traci had it half-right. I did still love her, but the disrespect she showed me and the lack of trust I now had was eroding that more each day. My fragile ego died the day those photos showed up on the Internet. I got beaten on every day in numerous ways thanks to those photos. You learn whom your real friends are when the chips are down.

Traci couldn't—or wouldn't—understand things from my standpoint.

"Just because you got fucked, doesn't mean I have to," I said to close out one of our many arguments prior to the divorce being finalized.

Not completely surprising to me, the girls chose to stay with their mother, so Traci got the house until Becca went to college, then it was to be sold and the profit split evenly. The rest of the financials were easy. We both made good money, so it was just a 50-50 split. Traci's attorney tried to negotiate better terms for her, but we live in a no-fault state... and there was the little matter of her very public adultery.

I did wind up in a tiny apartment, but it was completely my own doing. I didn't need larger because I didn't have the girls, didn't have many friends anymore and had very little social life.

******

"Would you have dated me if you had known my story before we went out the first time?" I asked Maddie a few weeks before our wedding five years ago.

She squinted and wrinkled up her nose, her tells that she was thinking how to phrase her answer. We have agreed to always tell each other the truth, even if the answer isn't always pleasant. Unlike me, however, Maddie sometimes goes through a lot of mental gymnastics trying to make the truth at least palatable.

"Probably not," she admitted. "I almost got sick to my stomach when you told me your story and then I went online and confirmed it. It just seemed to be so... seedy."

I chuckled sardonically. She tried so hard to be nice. How many people use the word, "seedy," I wondered to myself.

"I don't think I would have had the strength to date you knowing that everyone was watching you like a hawk, expecting... I don't know exactly, but I do remember you were being watched. I guess maybe everybody was waiting for you to go nuts or something. I think maybe that's what I would have been expecting," she said.

I got lucky with Maddie. After I told her about my situation, I know she went online to confirm it. Fortunately, she trusted what she had seen from me enough to continue to date me, despite all the negative publicity connected to me by my wayward wife.

Of course I did have a little help in the form of her 7-year-old daughter, whom I became Frisbee friends with several weeks before I met Maddie. I taught Angel and her friend, Jackie, had to throw and catch a Frisbee in several different ways at a local park, and Maddie, being a good mother, had to come meet "the Frisbee guy" the two girls were talking about.

Apparently, I filled a void in Angel's life, and I know she definitely filled one in mine. She was part daughter, party puppy. If I was doing a small project at Maddie's house, she was my mini-assistant. If I played a small joke on Maddie, she was my co-conspirator. She was right by my side when I went to the fridge for a snack, and she learned to eat and love such delicacies as leftover cold peas with barbecue sauce.

I actually asked Angel if she wanted me for a dad before I proposed to her mother.

"Like you would be my real dad, and not just be here occasionally?" she asked.

"Your real dad, which means that if you don't listen to me I would be the one to be spanking your butt," I said, looking very serious.

"You would do that to me?" she asked, suddenly not looking so confident.