One More Year Ch. 13

***

Whatever it was that Jamie and I were doing, it carried on that whole break, which had almost exactly two weeks left at that point. Ellie and Jamie had come to my house again - after Jamie's paintball and Ellie's date. The three of us had carried on hanging around my pool for the next three days after that, but then the weather had taken a turn for the worse.

Anytime Ellie left the two of us alone, he'd basically just get in front of me and drop his shorts. Subtlety wasn't a strong concern of his. He got his car a day after the weather had gotten bad - clearly his parents had taken pity on him - so on days when he wasn't there, I'd get a text very late at night that was usually just a question mark. I'd respond with some version of yes, and he'd come over. It was exhilarating and steamy, even once we'd done it a dozen times.

Once, he'd come by earlier in the day when I'd had nothing else going on, and we'd each blown each other twice. He seemed to always make sure that he was the last one to suck me off. I wondered if he felt that, that way, I still 'owed him one' or something, and the fun could continue. We also showered together afterwards almost every time - whether we really needed to or not - and we'd jerk each other off in there as well.

It didn't occur to me to feel seedy about the whole thing. Not until the last Saturday of the break, at which point - by pure number of orgasms - we'd done more together than Eric and I ever had. Ellie and I had gone to movies with Melissa and Louis, and Jamie had messaged me afterwards, and swung by my house. Once we'd already both given each other blowjobs that night, and gotten into the shower, we'd soaped up and began to jerk each other off.

Something about his look of concentration while we were tugging at each other's dicks was so sexy - and endearing - that I found myself automatically leaning in to kiss him. But he flinched and turned his face away from me, and I sprung back, slightly shocked. I hadn't even noticed what I was doing, and I was only made suddenly aware of it by his reaction.

"I don't really want to kiss." His voice was gruff.

"Oh, okay." I said. "That's fine. Sorry, I got carried away."

He'd just grunted and we'd kept on. I thought it was ridiculous - kissing was one of the best parts. To me, anyway. But I wasn't exactly going to force the issue. We hadn't kissed yet, so it didn't feel personal. I liked kissing, and I definitely missed it. But Eric and I had started out with it, whereas Jamie had just gone straight for my dick. It felt like different rules applied.

We both came, although it seemed to take him a bit longer, and he quickly got dressed and made his way home, as usual. That time though, as I watched his car pull off, I felt a vague sense of guilt. It wasn't as if I thought I was hurting anyone, or doing anything wrong. But a small part of me wondered if it wasn't somehow demeaning - to do stuff with a guy who didn't want to kiss you.

By the next night, I wasn't sure I really wanted to carry on with him until I figured it out. But I couldn't wrap my head around it. I don't think I cared enough about the kissing to feel the way that I did, but when I thought about inviting him over I kind of resented him for being the one to impose arbitrary limits on our... arrangement. Especially when I'd just gone along with it from the start. When he messaged me that night, I wasn't even entirely sure how to respond.

[?]

______________[Sorry, not tonight.]

[K, catch you later then.]

[;)]

At least he seemed like he was fine with that. But it was still something I'd have to puzzle out eventually. It occurred to me that I wasn't particularly attached to Jamie - I didn't mind him hanging around, but I wasn't missing him when he was gone. That realisation nearly made me send him a message to end the whole thing immediately. But a part of me - three guesses which part - kind of wanted to keep my options open.

Luckily, I had a reason to start avoiding him - the science fair was coming up, and I'd scheduled in time to work with Louis. Between having that as an excuse, and Jamie being drawn into the group work of his own project, it was easy enough to avoid him until school started again, and then for most of the first couple of weeks as well. We were in different groups for Physics, so we only had our maths and AP maths classes together, and it was easy enough to avoid him around those.

Louis and I met up one last time to put the finishing touches on our catapults, and I realised that he was probably the perfect person to ask for advice. Not directly - he knew Jamie too, and I didn't want him to guess who it was. But I could at least try asking for some generic advice.

There was a part of me that definitely didn't want him to know I was doing something like that. Like he'd be disappointed, or something. Louis had always seemed so mature and stable. I couldn't imagine a person like him fooling around with a guy who wouldn't kiss him. But it also seemed like he'd know what to do anyway.

We were waiting for our catapults to dry, so we could pack them up and take them to Angela - for safekeeping. I took a deep breath, and looked across at him. "Can I ask you a question? It's kind of awkward. About sex."

He laughed, pushing his glasses back up his nose and running his hand through his hair. "Wow, okay. Way to spice up the last day of working on this project. Sure. What's up?"

"Uh..." I grimaced. "Casual sex. What are your views on it?"

"Ah, okay." He nodded, and pursed his lips. "Well, I mean... I don't like this traditional thing of entangling morality and sex. So, provided everyone's a consenting adult, and you're being careful and safe - I think people should do things that make them feel good, right?"

"Sure."

"But at the same time, it's not for everyone." He shrugged, and went over to test the dryness of the trebuchet. He wiped the paint that came off on his fingertip on a piece of paper. "I think where a lot of people go wrong, with the feeling good part, is that they assume because the sex makes them feel good in the moment, that's all there is to it."

"What do you mean?"

"Well." He shrugged. "I fooled around with this guy once - and enjoyed it, even - but then afterwards I just felt... abandoned, and like I wasn't much more interesting than my genitals, you know?"

"Oh shit, sorry. I didn't want to bring up stuff for you."

"It's fine. I got over it. Pretty fast." He smiled and held up his hands. "But hey, that just means it's not for me. If you can have sex with a guy and feel good about it afterwards, then you should. Just don't..."

"Yeah?"

He scratched the back of his neck. "I don't really want to tell you what to do though."

"It's fine - I could probably use some good advice." As much as I could get, really.

"I just don't think you should fool around with someone just because you're feeling down about Eric."

"Ah, right." I nodded. "That makes a lot of sense."

"I hope so. I probably shouldn't go around giving people life advice anyway."

"What?" I raised my eyebrows and smiled. "But you're like... perfect. You should be a life coach."

He laughed, and rubbed the back of his neck, blushing slightly. "It's all a ruse. Don't get taken in by it - I'm a mess on the inside. I promise."

"Noted." I chuckled slightly. "But thanks, anyway. It's good advice, I think. And I did ask."

"You did." He grinned.

It wasn't long until the catapults were dry, and we'd packed them away in a box. I dropped Louis off at his place, and then swung by Angela's house on my way home to hand over the precious cargo - she was the only one of us who we all trusted to look after them properly. Louis had given me some great advice, even if I had only approached the topic obliquely.

I felt like Eric hadn't been a consideration of mine at all with this Jamie thing, so that was at least good. But I also knew that - now that it was clear he wasn't going to kiss me - doing stuff with Jamie wasn't making me happy with myself one hundred percent of the time. Which probably meant it was a bad idea, and I shouldn't be fooling around with him just because I kept getting horny.

The problem was, though, that however good that reasoning was, my body wasn't exactly on board. After two weeks of constant sexual activity, the period of celibacy that followed was excruciating, and I felt my resolve begin to crumble. Worse still, my rational mind began to come up with all sorts of justifications. I wasn't in love with Jamie, so it didn't matter if he didn't want to kiss me. We were just two friends having fun. By the time I'd gotten home, I almost believed it.

***

It was only a couple of weeks - that rushed by, thanks to how busy I got with school work - and it was already time for the science fair. I basically only hadn't caved and seen Jamie again because we'd both been too caught up in our projects. Louis and I had spent some more time pouring through the construction plans of the project to make sure they were perfect - redundant, because Angela had put the whole thing together, and she'd already insisted we go over all of it beforehand.

On her orders - and under Sue's threats - we'd all had to make sure we'd familiarised ourselves with the physics, checked that our model catapult matched our equations, and brainstormed and quizzed each other all sorts of questions science fair attendees and judges could ask us, ranging from the idiotic to the impossibly difficult.

It was actually a really fun experience, although I'd never have admitted that to anyone - even the rest of them. I felt like the four of us had really bonded, which was something I'd never managed to do with Angela and Sue before, despite how much time we'd always spent together.

Louis was amazing. I can't believe I had once thought of him as that socially awkward North Grove guy. He was so nice, and charming, that even Sue was beginning to soften. I think Angela and I nearly passed out when Sue, unprompted, apologised for saying something rude and offhanded to him. The two of us had certainly never gotten the same treatment.

We'd met on Friday afternoon before the fair at the library, but we'd run out of prep to do, so we'd just gotten dinner together, and then I drove us to the hall so that we could set up. The fair itself went great - our preparation for questions kept paying off, and the project was quirky and interesting enough that it got a lot more attention than some of the dryer stuff. Our interactive element of allowing people to fire polystyrene balls at each other - under safe conditions, with goggles and lab coats, of course - was also a hit, and the judges seemed to be appreciative of the spectacle.

So our excitement was palpable that night as we waited for the judges to tabulate their results, although Sue was still feeling very anxious, pacing around and muttering under her breath. Angela was perfectly calm, because she was Angela, and Louis and I just chatted about irrelevant stuff. We already knew we were getting a good mark for the project, and that was enough for me.

The prize included lab equipment for your school and a free tour of a nuclear reactor, which we'd done before as a Top Three group outing. So the only interesting thing we'd get out of it were the trophies, which Sue lived for, but I didn't really care.

The chairman of the organisation took the stage, thanked everyone for coming, and told us about the importance of sparking an interest in science in 'young minds', and then introduced the head judge, a 'space scientist' - whatever that was - who would be delivering the results.

"The winner is group four, the winner is group four." Sue chanted manically under her breath.

The head judge looked at her clipboard, and then leaned into the microphone. "And the winner is - group four!"

Sue screeched in joy and ran up the stage, and the rest of us followed slowly with amusement. They handed us a large golden trophy with an atom on top of it, and then they took a few photos, and passed us each a smaller replica trophy. We were shuffled off the stage and the judge announced the runners-up, and winners of specific categories.

Sue was relieved of the big trophy as we came off the steps, and the look that she gave the poor volunteer was murderous. Angela grabbed her arm and dragged her away, and we all laughed, even Sue, at the absurdity of it.

"Do you want to celebrate?" Sue asked us all.

"How?" Alexa asked sceptically.

"There's a milkshake place down the road." Louis suggested.

"I don't want to go to a milkshake place." Sue said emphatically, but quietly - because her parents weren't far away. "I want to go to a bar."

"I can't, I'm seventeen." Angela said calmly.

Sue waved her hand dismissively. "We could get you in, it's fine."

"Sue." Angela stared at her pointedly.

"Fine, we'll go to the stupid milkshake place." Sue stamped her foot.

"I can drive, if you want." I offered. "I'll even drop off everyone at home."

We all agreed, and went back to our parents to inform them of our plans.

"Well done." My mom said as I approached.

"Aw thanks." I said, grinning. She didn't hug me - we weren't big huggers, really.

She'd come alone, which I was fine with. Someone needed to watch the twins, and I loved those kids, but I was glad they weren't there with us. Everyone's science project would've probably looked like a toy to them. It meant more like this, actually, because my mom hated going places alone. If Ellie's mother wasn't there, she probably would have spent the whole event standing there, awkward and isolated.

"We're going to go out for milkshakes."

"Now?" She perked up. "Can I go then?"

"You can." I laughed. It was scary how much we were alike sometimes.

"I'm just going to say goodbye to Carlene." She nodded behind her. "Come with me and say hi, and then you can go."

"Okay." I wandered over with her to where Ellie was standing with her family.

Mr. Rae - who, unlike Carlene, had never insisted on being called by his first name - had the sturdy, reliable look of an accountant - Big glasses, brown hair, and a calm, formal manner. His wife always provided a stark contrast to that - she always wore long, flowing dresses in bohemian patterns, and her silvery blonde hair was always pinned up in a messy pile on top of her head. He gave me a firm handshake, and she gave me an excited - and mildly startling - hug. My mom engaged them in polite conversation, hinting that she was about to slip away.

"Hey, Congratulations." Ellie said, sidling up to me.

"You too." Her group hadn't placed well in the rankings, but they'd won the category prize for 'Eco-Friendliness and Sustainability'.

"Thanks." she grinned. "We're the 'Miss Congeniality' of project groups."

"I'm going out for milkshakes with the top two and Louis. Do you want to come?"

"No, it's fine. I don't want to intrude on the nerd victory." She glanced over with a coy expression. "I might see Gary tonight, anyway."

"Nice." I grinned. "I'll relentlessly press you for details tomorrow then."

"I've taught you well."

I said my goodbyes, and went to meet up with my group. Jamie was standing just on the other side of the hall, but I don't think he saw me. The four of us got into my car and headed down to the milkshake place, which was a fun, brightly lit tourist trap on Marine circle. It was completely empty aside from the four of us.

"Angela. You are my friend." Sue sighed, holding her trophy to her chest. "But you really kill my fun."

The rest of us laughed, and we all made our way over to the counter to place our orders. It was a cold night, so we didn't sit outside, but we grabbed a booth against the front window, which we could look through and see out onto the street, and past that to the choppy waves of the sea.

"That went very well." Louis said. "Who would have thought people would have loved flinging things at each other so much?"

"I think it was a pretty safe bet." Angela smiled softly. "I'm just happy we didn't have to be on stage for too long. Those lights were so bright, and I'm so tired."

"The trophies are pretty." Sue grinned, pushing hers out in front of her at arm's length and sighing. "I love it so much."

"They are quite nice, yes." Angela nodded. "I'm probably not going to go to the power station again, though."

"No," Sue said decisively, taking out her phone and tapping away. "It was so BORING. I'm not doing that twice."

Louis shrugged. "I've never been. I kind of wanted to go."

"Well, you can have my ticket, or whatever." Sue waved her hand at Louis without looking up. "Bore someone else."

"Mine too." Angela laughed.

"Maybe we can trick Ellie and Mel into it." I said.

Louis grinned. "Awesome. I'll set it up."

"Sue, who are you texting?" Angela asked.

Sue didn't answer - she held up a finger and, leaning forward, wrapped her mouth around her straw, and drained her milkshake in a few seconds. "Owww. Brain-freeze."

"What are you doing?" Angela giggled weakly, as Sue bounced up and down on her seat, scrunching up her face.

Sue waved her hand around in front of her a few times, and then gasped. "I have to go. Tom's picking me up, and he's nearly here."

"Who's Tom?" Louis asked, and Angela and I both shrugged.

Sue shook her head, and her expression returned to normal. She took in one last deep gasp of air, and then said, matter-of-factly, "Tom is my boyfriend."

We didn't have time to respond before we were all distracted by a guy outside on a motorcycle pulling up to the side-walk. Sue put some money down on the table, and headed outside with a little wave to us. He handed her a helmet, which she put on carefully before climbing up behind him. With another little wave from her, they sped off into the night.

"She is full of surprises." Louis said.

"Did you know she had a boyfriend?" Angela asked me, her eyes wide.

I shrugged, and grinned - not as surprised as they were. "I don't know if it's still the same one, but last year she got sent to detention because she was skipping classes and sneaking out of school with some guy."

"What?" Louis asked incredulously.

"I had heard about some girl doing that. I did not know it was her." Angela laughed.

"She doesn't seem like the kind to skip classes." Louis said.

"Oh, she was only skipping accounting and maths, because she'd already read the textbooks and the teachers were 'boring her'."

"I suppose you can't argue with her results." Angela shrugged. "Sue strategises like a general."

"She does." I chuckled.

"God, I feel like the least cool member of this project group." Louis said.

"If you've been to a bar, you're cooler than I am." Angela smiled. "But then, I do have a year to catch up."

"Right. So you're seventeen? Did you skip a year?"

"Yes, in primary school." Angela focused on her milkshake. She didn't like talking about herself. "I already knew how to read when I got there, and it took them a couple of years to figure out what to do with me."

"Well, putting you in charge of science projects was probably the answer." Louis grinned.

Angela beamed up at him and blushed slightly. "Thanks."

He nodded. "What are you going to do next year? University?"

"Probably. My mom wants me to take a gap year, but I know what I want to do, so I'd just like to get into it already."

"And that is?"

"Genomics."

"Wow. That's specific. But good that you know already. I saw such a cool article about the evolution of that field the other day."

"I've always just found it very interesting." Angela smiled. "Are you planning on studying right away too?"

"Yeah," he said. "I just want to do a pure mathematics degree. Probably at UCT."

"Oh, wonderful. I'm thinking of UCT too. Their genomics lab is what got me interested in it in the first place."