One More Year Ch. 16

"Stop ruining my fun." Ellie laughed. "But still, I thought it would be a nice place to come for brunch."

"It's wonderful." Angela smiled at the waitress who handed her a menu.

"What's that?" Sue asked, pointing to a small wooden box on the table.

"I think..." Angela grabbed the box, and slid the lid off. "Yes. It's a set of Dominoes."

"We should play." Louis said.

Ellie shrugged. "I don't know how."

"I don't want to." Sue said flatly.

"I'll play with you." Angela tipped the box over, pouring them out.

I was at the opposite edge of the table, so my willingness to participate was moot. Angela and Louis shuffled the dominoes around the table, and then selected their pieces and began to play.

"Jay, what are you going to study at university?" Sue asked.

"Oh, I have no idea."

"Have you not applied for anything yet?" She looked shocked.

"I've applied." I shrugged. "At Oakvale. For four different subjects, and I can switch some of them if I want to do things in the same faculty. But I'm really having trouble deciding."

"Are you going to do computer science, like Brian?" Ellie asked.

"I don't think he wants me to." I picked up my own menu, even though I knew I'd probably just be boring and have a fairly simple pizza. "He doesn't think they're very good at teaching it, now that he's on the staff with them. But it would also be weird if my brother ended up being one of my lecturers."

"What have you applied for?"

"Actuarial Science, Engineering, English Literature, and History."

"That's quite a mix," Ellie said.

"Don't do English Literature." Sue waved her hand dismissively. "You don't need university to talk to people about books. You never stop doing that."

"You shouldn't do Actuarial Science," Louis said. "You're so paranoid about stuff. Do you really want to know your chances of spontaneously dropping dead on any given day?"

"Now that you mention it, no." I hadn't actually thought of that. Ellie laughed at my expression.

"I guess I'm down to History and Engineering."

"You built that radio last year," Angela said. "That's a good sign."

I shrugged. "Sure, but it was from a kit."

"Well, I was trying to be nice." She smiled. "You're also quite bad at remembering dates."

"That's true." I laughed.

"I think you'd be good at Engineering." Louis said thoughtfully. "You overthink things a lot. I think I'd appreciate that in someone who had to build a bridge, or program a component on a spaceship."

"Thanks. I think. I guess we've decided, as a committee, that I'd be bad at everything but Engineering. Which I'm apparently just neurotic enough for." I smirked at Louis.

"Sorry." He blushed slightly. "I did mean that as a compliment."

"I win." Angela set down her last domino.

"Damn." His head snapped back to the game. "Another round?"

"Sure." They began to flip pieces.

"What have you applied for, Ellie?" Angela asked.

"Oh, just a few things at the economics faculty. I want to do something business related, but I can spend the first year figuring out what."

"That sounds boring." Sue said flatly.

"SUE!" Angela frowned.

"Oh." Sue cleared her throat, and turned to Ellie. "Sorry."

"No, it's fine." Ellie laughed. "It IS boring. My dad runs a hotel chain, and he's already preparing my brother and I to take over. I might as well get a degree that gets me ready for that. I mostly just need an excuse to get out of my parents house for a few years."

"I understand." Sue said. "I need to get away from my mother. She always tries to change the way I dress, or what makeup I wear, or who I date."

"Oh my god, mine too!" Ellie sighed dramatically. "I love her, but she's a bit over-the-top sometimes. I need some freedom."

Angela and Louis carried on playing dominoes, while Sue and Ellie commiserated over their strict mothers. I sat in silence for a while, feeling completely at peace. Happy, even. I didn't mind being left out. I just loved how strange it was that all these people fit together, and I couldn't help but think about how we should have tried hanging out before the last year of school.

By the time we'd finished, paid our bill, and piled into my car, Ellie had already been unanimously voted in as a member of our study group for finals. We'd also all agreed to let her extend the invitation to Sara, since they'd already had an arrangement to work together. I dropped Ellie and Sue off at their homes, and then set off towards Louis and Angela's neighbourhood, which was a bit further out. They continued to chat happily while I sat there driving, a little lost in my thoughts.

After we'd dropped off Angela, Louis turned down the music. "You've been pretty quiet."

"Yeah, it's just a little weird to finally hang out with Angela and Sue like this. For years, everything's just been about schoolwork. But I really like them as people. It feels like we've wasted time."

"It's nice that you get to be friends now, though." He shrugged. "Angela and I have gotten pretty close."

I nodded. "She's a lot like you."

"What?" He laughed. "Really? Why?"

"You're both so mature and stable. It's like having adults as friends."

"Thanks." He smiled. "But that's just because you think calendars are magic."

"It's hubris to predict the future." I smiled. "That's why Atlantis was destroyed."

Louis laughed. We spent the rest of the way back talking about his love of physics and why he'd be studying it. It wasn't really my thing, but it did seem like there would be a lot of it if I went into engineering, and I'd always done okay in it at school. He'd kind of gotten me thinking about my future, and for once it seemed like it could be pretty cool.

I'd had such a great day, and after dropping him off and getting home, I was in a very good mood. When I saw that I'd received a text from Eric while I was driving, I was so cheerful and chatty that I didn't even feel awkward about not having talked to him much over the last few weeks, or approached the topic of not getting back together with him. I just answered immediately.

[Hey]

[I need to tell you something]

______________[Sure. GO.]

[I'm really sorry for doing it over text]

[But you guys have all been so busy with prelims]

[I didn't want to make it seem like a big thing and tell you on the one movie night we've had in like two months]

______________[It's fine.]

______________[Just tell me.]

[I'm seeing someone]

Well. I hadn't been expecting that.

______________[Oh. Ok.]

[It's that guy from your school]

[Nick]

[Sorry, I should've maybe told you I was meeting up with him]

[But I didn't know if it would be weird]

______________[No, it's fine.]

______________[Congratulations.]

[Thanks]

[I think I really like him]

I didn't open those last two, because I honestly didn't know how to respond. He'd told me that he wanted nothing more than to get back together, we'd been chatting frequently since well before prelims, and he'd occasionally messaged me for brief chats throughout. I'd made up my mind about whether I wanted him back, and I was fairly sure I didn't.

I'd been busy gearing up to talk to him about why not, and kind of dreading that conversation. But it had never crossed my mind that he'd just move on. I felt jealous, annoyed, and incredibly guilty for feeling those things. I didn't own the guy, after all. What did I want, anyway - For him to be single the rest of his life? I messaged Louis.

______________[Hey]

[Hey]

[You okay?]

______________[So you've talked to Eric.]

[Yeah, just busy now]

[ARE you okay?]

______________[I don't know.]

______________[Kind of.]

[Do you know this Nick guy?]

[Eric says he goes to Elohim]

[But I haven't met him yet]

______________[I don't know him well, no.]

[Eric wants to bring him to the movie night]

[But he's worried it'll be weird for you]

______________[Patronising motherfucker]

[Hahah. Yeah :)]

My annoyance surged, and I messaged Eric before I'd taken time to reason through a good response.

______________[You should bring him to the movie night then]

[Really?]

[I was just a bit worried it might be weird for you or something]

______________[No, it's fine. I seriously don't care.]

[Well, okay, then]

[Thanks]

[It does mean I'll have to tell him about you]

Shit. I hadn't thought about that part. But there was no backing down now, and all I wanted at that moment was to make sure Eric knew that I did not care. Whether it was true or not was beside the point.

______________[It's fine.]

______________[You can tell him whenever]

[Okay!]

[Cool]

[See you at movie night then]

I didn't respond. But Louis messaged me again. He'd clearly been talking to Eric about the movie night.

[Are you sure you know what you're doing?]

______________[I'm fairly sure I don't, actually.]

[Right]

[I can try and talk him out of it?]

______________[No, it's fine.]

______________[I'm in too deep.]

______________[I need to show Eric I don't care.]

[Don't you?]

______________[I don't know.]

______________[Does it matter at this point?]

[Right]

[Well, if you want to tank this whole thing at any point, just let me know, and I'll help]

______________[Thanks]

[No problem]

I didn't want to bore him with a rant. He was too goal oriented, and if I made a big deal of it, he'd start thinking of ways to accommodate me so that I didn't have to see Eric's new boyfriend. I couldn't look weak in front of Eric, anyway. But Louis was missing his friends more and more this year, and I couldn't ruin the movie night for him.

For some reason, I also kind of couldn't admit to Louis what I was really feeling. It felt petty to be annoyed about this. Like I just wanted Eric to be single for the rest of his life. At best. I guess I'd really hoped that I'd end up with someone else, and be happy, long before he ever got there again. That wasn't really a noble thought, and I'd hate to tell Louis something that made him think less of me.

Luckily, I had Ellie, who was used to my failings.

______________[So I did something stupid.]

[You'll have to narrow it down]

______________[New stupid.]

[Oooh. Do tell]

______________[Eric has a new boyfriend.]

[Bastard]

[How dare he???]

[Sorry, that was a reflex. Carry on.]

______________[I told him it would be fine to bring the guy to our movie night.]

______________[Even though that means he'll tell the guy we used to date, and that I'm gay.]

[Right]

[Well, I mean, isn't the problem more how you feel about it?]

______________[I have no feelings.]

[SURE. Ok. :|]

[I don't think it matters that some random guy will know you're gay though.]

______________[It's Nick.]

[Nick from school???]

[Seriously?]

______________[Yup!]

[Well well well]

[How INTERESTING]

[I already don't like him]

______________[We should give him a chance, at least.]

[Stop being so mature]

[It does NOT suit you]

[But honestly, I already don't like him]

[He's been bitchy to me in Art]

______________[Oh, well that's different then.]

______________[Rat bastard!]

[That's the spirit!]

Ellie kept talking to me for a while, probably enabling my worst impulses, but it made me feel slightly better. It didn't stop me from bouncing around my room for the rest of the night, doing various things and trying to distract myself from thinking about it. I didn't know what time I finally got tired enough to go to bed, but it was still too early, and I struggled to fall asleep.

***

By the time Sunday rolled around, I was managing my feelings about the situation a bit better. Sitting in the food court with Louis, Melissa, Sara, John and Ellie, I was barely dreading Eric's arrival at all. I'd been done up to the best of Ellie's ability, with the aim of making me look both perfect and completely casual at the same time. The look had given me a lot of confidence, and I thought I was ready to face Eric and his new boyfriend. But it wasn't really helping with Melissa's glare.

"I hope you two donate your brains to science when you die." Melissa's angry eyes flicked from me to Louis.

"Why?" Louis asked.

"So they can figure out what the hell is wrong with you." She slapped the table.

Louis turned to me and grinned. "Is she being homophobic?"

"No, Melissa loves gay guys so much she's going to want to marry one." I chuckled.

John laughed. "Louis, probably."

"I'm mad at Louis." She pouted, but it shifted into a smile. "Although I can't resist his dimples, so I'll probably take him back."

"Oh, stop it, you." He laughed.

"If I was going to be homophobic, I would say something like 'Wow, Homos are invading our friend group, one fucked up relationship with Eric at a time.'"

"Why WOULD you say that?" John groaned.

Melissa turned to me. "No offence, Jay."

I frowned. "Yeah, that seemed sensitive and appropriate."

"Sorry." She put her hand on mine and gave it a quick squeeze. "You two are just being frustrating. I refuse to like this boy. I can't watch another Eric spiral."

"Nick's okay." Sara shrugged.

"Oh yeah?" Melissa spun around on her chair to face that end of the table. "Ellie?"

"I shall do my best to be nice to Nick," Ellie chanted mechanically, nodding her head slightly with each word.

Sara laughed. "They don't get along."

"God help us." Melissa tugged on a strand of her hair. "Do we even know anything about him?"

"He's pretty talented. He's an artist and a set designer," I said.

"Ugh, how pretentious." She scoffed.

"Having talent is pretentious?" Louis asked.

"No. I don't know." Melissa shook her head. "I'm just not going to like him."

"They're here." John dragged out the last word ominously.

From the other side of the food court, we saw Vince, Eric and Nick approach. Eric's arm was around Nick, which didn't make me feel amazing, but it wasn't as jarring as I thought it would be. There was a weird tension there I couldn't quite place. Maybe because Vince was standing a bit further apart from the two of them than seemed natural. Before I could figure it out, they were too close, and I'd had to plaster a fake smile on my face. I was trying hard not to stare directly at Nick.

"Hey guys." Eric shifted nervously. "This is Nick. Nick, this is everyone."

Nick waved enthusiastically. "Hey Eric's Squad!"

I just about managed to stop myself from visibly wincing at that, and I did my best to greet him casually and pleasantly - even though he called me 'Jason'. Sarah gave him a familiar hug. Ellie and Louis were both polite and seemed sincere. Melissa and John were making no such effort.

"You guys are such a cute bunch of hipsters and nerds!" Nick beamed at everyone. Melissa didn't even bother hiding her eye-roll.

I don't think I'd ever heard Nick say more than about five words around me throughout the entirety of high school, and after a few minutes of listening to him talk, I was immensely grateful for that. I kept asking myself if I was maybe being a cliched jealous ex, but everyone's expressions reassured me that I wasn't entirely on my own.

John's frown and Melissa's open look of disgust were not exactly reliable indicators, but I noticed the way Ellie would sometimes turn her head to the side, as if to compose herself. Watching Louis, I also noticed that jaw grew increasingly tight throughout the conversation - which was about as clear a sign of annoyance as he was capable of.

Nick sounded a lot like his friend Tiffany - all the same slang and bravado. Which I supposed made sense, since they had spent a lot of time together. But I'd always found her very grating, and a bit cartoonish, so it wasn't exactly working in his favour. Other than Eric, only Sara really seemed to be getting along with him well. Vince was sitting at the far end of the group, and had been uncharacteristically reserved and quiet.

Nick had a habit of excessively rolling his eyes at any statement that didn't meet with his approval, or immediately saying something dismissive if he wasn't familiar with the topic of conversation. He followed up every anecdote of someone else's with one of his own, sometimes tangentially related, but sometimes not at all. When asked about his art, he bragged repeatedly about all the theatre productions that he'd been recruited to do set design for.

I wasn't taking most of it in. I found my mind drifting, only really slipping back into the conversation when someone else was talking. Which wasn't as often as I might have hoped. Nick was chatty. When it got particularly bad, I excused myself to go to the bathroom. Ellie's eyes flicked towards me as I got up, and while on the way there, I got a text from her.

[Damn, wish I'd had that idea]

______________[I do actually need the bathroom.]

[SURE]

[Just sucks, because now I can't go]

______________[Why not?]

[Because it'll look like you're having a breakdown and I'm comforting you]

______________[Oh. Ok.]

______________[Well, then yes, please don't.]

______________[If people are going to think I'm having a breakdown, I want to actually have the breakdown. Get my money's worth.]

______________[Also, stop texting me then. And get off your phone.]

[No.]

I laughed, and put my phone away. Once I was done, I took my time getting back, window-shopping along the way. It seemed to have paid off. When I got back, everyone had split off into separate little groups. Eric and Nick were the nearest to me, with none of the others nearby.

"Babe, you can't smoke in here." Eric said to Nick, who had just pulled out a cigarette.

"Ugh. Grandma. Okay, I'm going outside." Nick rolled his eyes and traipsed outside. He didn't seem to have seen me behind them.

"Babe?" I raised my eyebrows as I walked up to Eric.

"Yeah..." Eric rubbed his arm. "His thing. Guess I've picked it up."

I laughed, but cut myself off at the look on Eric's face.

"What?" He crossed his arms.

"It's just a little..."

"A little what?"

I shrugged and smirked. "Basic."

"That is SO mean." He laughed. "But yeah, kind of."

"So, is it going well?"

He grimaced.

I raised my eyebrows. "Not, then?"

"He doesn't like Vince. We hung out together earlier, and Nick kind of... I don't know. Went after him a bit. It was a little weird."

"Wow."

"Other than that, it's going great though. I like him." He rubbed the back of his neck. "Sorry, I probably shouldn't talk to you about this."

"You talked about me with Louis all the time."

"Yeah, but that was different."

"Different how?" I tilted my head.

"I don't know. We didn't date for as long, and we were apart for longer than the two of us were, and- never mind." He shoved his hands in his pockets. "I'm going to go stand outside with Nick for a bit."

"Okay." I smiled pleasantly as I watched him go.

"And why are we chatting with the enemy?" Ellie sidled up to me. "Gain any interesting intel?"

I shrugged. "Trouble in paradise, maybe."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"I think maybe we should try to be extra nice to Vince. Nick apparently hasn't been."

She sighed. "You know, this is not the relaxed, ice-cream-eating crowd I signed up for."

"Please." I scoffed. "You're living for this drama."

"Okay, fine." She smiled and spread her hands. "But you know it isn't good for me to indulge in this. This is turning into the BigMac of groups. I need broccoli."

"You hate broccoli."

"I'm fine with metaphorical broccoli."

"Fine, we'll join a book club or something."

She laughed. "Let's go talk to Vince."

He'd been sitting on his own, and he seemed to perk up on our approach. After a while, he began to start acting a bit more like himself. Louis had tried with him when the whole group was together, but it had fallen flat. Probably because Nick had been there. It was part of why everything had been so awkward - Vince was usually the source of the noise and excitement. It was nice to see he was still okay. A little while after Sara and Melissa wandered over to join us, I peeled off and went to talk to Louis and John.