One Night in Penang

Not a BTB story.

The last four days had been a rediscovery of old haunts around Penang Island, the three previous days I'd checked out the main part of the city, north to Batu Ferringhi and down the western side of the island, either taken the ferry or driven the causeway to the mainland side ventured north to Alor Star then came back to Butterworth and toured around there. Where I'd grown up as a kid and teenager had pretty much disappeared.

The airbase, RMAF Butterworth where my Father was stationed as an exchange pilot is still very active. I loved it here, everyday was something new, different, and I'd wished that if I'd had kids they would have the opportunities I got. But then life gets in the way and things happen.

Five years ago 2009, since I'd been on the Island and things had changed, always does in Asia, no surprises there. Five years ago I'd been with my ex-Wife Diana holidaying, something we did every year, She liked Singapore and Malaysia but loved Penang as much as I did. We could of gone and 'blobbed' on the beaches at Phuket or Bali instead but no Penang and its friendly difference, out-of-the-way quirkiness and cultural mixing pot, buildings harking back to days of a bygone empire and the views around the Island was what we settled on, so once a year we left our comfortable life in Melbourne and flew out to Malaysia.

-z-

The hotel that was chosen was probably a bit on the plush side for me, right in the centre of Georgetown, part of the Comptah centre but what the hey, they garage your car and do everything for you short of wiping your ass, can't beat good service. The plan I'd settled for my last night, tonight, was a meal in one of the hotel's fine-dining restaurants. I'd booked as I was catching up with old Friend's and invited them to dine with me.

Entering the main entrance, checking my phone and not paying attention to surroundings or people meant I didn't see her until she was standing in front of me. Without properly looking at her and then offering an off-handed "Excuse Me" as I scuttled to one side to let her past had no effect on her moving, neither did my move making as to slide in the building and past her. With her blocking my way she had managed to pry my eyes away from my emails and forced to look at her. We stood in a silent stare at one another.

At a touch over five feet and eight inches her lithe frame, 32B breasts, sexy little tosh, long legs all suited her near-perfect face. Hazel eyes stared up at me, a dark red colour replaced her normal light brown hair colour. The glasses with light-tint-lenses attached to her fine sculptured nose helped disguise her for all of two seconds.

"Hullo Mike."

Suddenly stunned I'd guess is what she would of perceived my look to be - she would be right. Nothing came to mind as a greeting, other than maybe 'Fuck You' but I dismissed that..... immediately.

The sudden 'Ahem' from another guest wanting to get past bought us back to the moment and we scrambled out of his way although I noticed she wasn't going to allow my escape that easy, her eyes never left mine even when she offered the stranger an "I'm sorry".

Still the deathly silence. Breaking our stare I quickly moved to go the long way around her. As I passed I uttered, "Well there you go, still able to pull out an unwelcome surprise, good for you Diana, have a happy day."

"Mike wait. Wait. Please. Slow down. Please."

So I stopped. In my tracks. The Concierge was twenty feet or so away, we were looking at each other when she came up beside me. I looked at him, he must of considered from my pained expression that he'd be able to help. I slowly shook my head apologetically and waved him off with a slight smile as I turned to again face my latest nemesis. I caught the audible sigh come out of my mouth. 'What the hell, I've got five minutes to spare, why the fuck not'.

I pointed toward the semi-private seating alcove below the 1st floor atrium and we both silently moved there.

I'm not a lover of red hair, sorry just not my thing I guess: "Like what you've done with your hair Diana."

"Really Mike?"

"No, but I don't have to look at it everyday." 'Guessing that'll do it for the smalltalk'. Yeah I know. The rush I was expecting from my little stunt was disappointing as well but I did get the opportunity to see her facial expression go from smiley, happy to abject horror in a second though - that had to count for something? I waited for the vicious reply, mentally braced for impact. It never came, nothing, no veiled insult, lectures or insinuation's of childish behavior -- nothing. Weird.

"I'm having a meal and a catch up with Taio and Ai Wu so you've got my attention for ten minutes at most Diana so what is it you want to say."

She took a breath, looked at me then looked away, "Why..."

That one word sparked my righteous indignation, "Sorry! I mean did you just ask me fucking why? Fucking really?"

She came straight back. Quietly, "Mike, why won't you talk to me?"

"Easy. The photo's I had, have, are explanation enough, what the fuck else do I need to know, end of story."

"No they don't Mike, they don't at all. They don't show the guilt or longing regret that I've got that haunts me day in day out. Or the tears I've shed over my fucked up life without you."

Er! -- the introduction of a real swear word, now that's new, well for me to hear from her it is -- the use of a commoners word. She stopped and caught herself, although the tears were starting and she bowed her head. "Those pictures don't show the deep love I still have for you. I will always have for you Mike."

She stopped and turned away from prying eyes, I passed her my handkerchief to help clean up the mess she'd made of her face. I glanced around to see what type of audience we had, but the only person on the floor was my friend the Concierge and he was right at front of house with his back to us.

Whatever was going on with me and Diana right now, bought me up a bit short. The shock of being confronted with her presence initially wound me up, rather than fucked off though it only felt annoying and I hadn't died and felt no emotion in the present situation. I don't know why, understanding mind fuck 101 isn't in my skill set -- I knew I'd purged all that shit from our break-up and her fuck around a long time ago: So rage wasn't evident, no anger that replaced the rage, no self pity. Definitely no pity for Diana or the situation she finds herself in.

I'd moved on -- obviously and to be clear I had never even considered bumping into her, I work out of Vancouver mostly, Brisbane or at times Chicago and I supposed she was still in Melbourne, I had never inquired. From my perspective it was all good. I still didn't really know what to say but decided I should say something,

Somewhere theres bound to be some mythical demi-fucking-god of some sort laughing his cock off at my present predicament - "So, want to come to dinner then, with me and the Wu's?" 'Laugh that up fucker.'

"What?"

"You heard me, do you want. To join me. And with Taio and Ai have dinner here tonight? It's an easy question Diana, no why's or wherefore's, and absolutely no tricks to worry about."

She stared at me, her expression being the same as if I'd called her a whore. Or something akin to it. "Ok then I'll take that as a no."

"Oh Mike NO! I'm sorry you've stunned me, I ..I would love to dine with you, it's just I wasn't ..."

"Expecting it?" I interrupted impatiently. "Hah neither was I, just take it for what it is Diana, a multitude of surprises for both of us in a short space of time."

"What is the dress for tonight, ah I mean what should I wear? Wait what am I saying -- shouldn't we be talking other things first, more important...?"

"Diana! I don't know what you should wear!" Five minutes and she already had me exasperated, "But unless you've been whacked around the head with a stupid stick I know you'll come up with something stunning, you always did know how to dress for occasion, I'm sure you still do."

"Well what time and where?"

"What's you're room number? I'll come pick you up. Oh and we're eating here, it's booked and I told Taio seven-thirty."

"Oh. Okay then I'd best go get started, room number is...." I stood amused watching her fossick through an ever present oversize bloody shoulder bag, some thing's never fucking change. When she looked up with the key I think she understood the slight smile I wore, "the room number is one-oh, one-eight."

"Alright. One-oh, one-eight, copy that."

"Alright then."

"Yeah alright."

She heeled and toed to turn around, wearing a look like she wanted to say more disregarded it and then walked towards the lift. She had only taken a handful of steps, "Diana." She turned to face me.

"We'll finish what ever it is you want to talk about later ...tonight."

One nod of her head. She looked older, wearied, and something else my pea brain couldn't work out, but that definitely wasn't the bitch I remembered from three and a bit years ago, nope, not at all.

-z-

Twenty past the hour found me outside room 1018 knocking on the door. When she opened it I'd already started to talk to her about me being a bit late, she's a bit of a freak in not being late to anywhere or anything. But I stopped when my eyes fastened on her and what she was wearing and how she had made herself up. I probably shouldn't have been surprised. "Presentable enough am I Mike?"

"Geeze Diana, of course you are, you're stunning. In hindsight maybe I should go back rethink what I'm wearing."

She woulda scored a 10 outta 10 on any guys erect-o-meter. I should of thought about my next line though I guess.

"Some lucky bastard's gonna snap you up tonight." At least I punctuated it with a laugh, but I saw the look that past over her face, I turned away. Why the fuck I was feeling guilty escapes me. "We should be off, if you're ready Diana?"

We saved speaking anymore until we met Taio and Ai Wu who were just coming through the hotel entrance as we stood at the restaurant door. It was Ai that spotted us both first and she hesitated as she walked, Taio hadn't spotted us and it was only Ai grabbing his coat sleeve that slowed him up. Ai said nothing just nodded in our direction. It took Taio a second to realise who he was looking at, he wasn't looking out for a couple, just me.

Ai and Diana were always great friends and I'd assumed they still were and probably would of remained in contact but when they both hugged in tears - well maybe not.

Dinner became less important as we started to share that part of our lives since last time we'd met, with our divorce being given a wide berth. That didn't matter anyway as other more interesting stuff was available. As Taio and I are apt to do when we get together we talk 'shop' between ourselves leaving Ai and Diana to do the same. Taio's 'shop talk' revolves around the hospital and medical research centre on the mainland in Butterworth, where both he and Ai work, he as a medical registrar and she as a laboratory research associate, or his love of sailing.

I'd occasionally look across at the two women laughing together or maybe talking louder than the norm. Diana would try and catch my eye as she chatted away, I'd remember the look, that smile from a time ago.

Once and for the briefest of moments my emotions kicked in. In some parallel universe if there is such a thing, I hoped that that Mike and Diana were going through the same moment with their good friends, still in the same married relationship they started in, not this fucked up shit situation. But like I said it was only the briefest of moments. All too soon it was nearing ten, and unlike us the Wu's had a good forty minute trip back to the mainland and their home, and normal work day for them tomorrow, ten hour days not eight. That left us alone.

"I think there is what masquerades as a piano bar out that door and to the right, shall we continue this there or are you tired, maybe some other time?" 'Some other time? Really you idiot! -- yeah that's not gonna fly.'

"No Mike the piano bar sounds nice let's go."

-z-

So we got drinks, found a comfortable couch that looked out at the night lights of Georgetown. The State of Penang doesn't sleep even at night. Markets, stalls and shops stay open to all hours, - it is it's own excitement.

I thought that Diana would probably sit close, it didn't worry me one way or another, but when her head sunk onto my shoulder I turned my view away from the lights outside and toward her, lifted her head away put my arm around her shoulders and drew her in. And we stayed like that for some time.

"It occurs to me that you've realised that I don't need an explanation of what went wrong and why?"

"Yes Mike. I do realise that." She had sat up straight. "I can't say I'm happy about it, from my point of view I feel that I need to bare my soul to allow us to move on in one way or another." She paused, I think because she thought I'd interject but she realised I wasn't going to so she boxed right on. Her hand moved to cover mine.

"I know I'm being selfish.. ('Ah there it is -- that was meant to be my line') ..but I thought that telling you everything would be cathartic for you as well as for me. Finding that you'd moved on so completely never crossed my mind. I had hoped that somewhere you would forgive me and especially if you found I was still in love with you, and so, so very sorry for my slip and destruction of our lives together." She picked my hand up and held it.

Well that was straight forward -- at least deserved an answer? I didn't want either of us going over and over the same points of reference time and time again. In the end the simplest way to get through this would be the easiest way and I'd been thinking on and off about that all evening, "Yeah I understand and I know that it was a bit more than a slip on your part, that shit went on for a fucking year and a bit before I ended it but you know what Diana, I don't need to dwell on it, and it may not be completely clear cut but I think mostly I've forgiven you ...... Tonight, well now to be exact."

"BULLSHIT Michael!"

OK well that was unexpected, I bit my tongue to stop myself responding in a manner that wasn't going to be productive to the evening, although I've always wanted to use 'Traitorous' and 'Bitch' in the same sentence, "Diana, look it's all I got. You want to know how I feel? I went through it all in that year. Dissected the ever-lasting fuck out of it all, and came to some resolution's one of which was, 'get over it and move on'. I'm sorry that that may not fit the way you saw things going but it is my reality.. ...maybe it was wrong to do this here. Tonight! You're upset." I didn't need to add anymore to that, I let Diana think about what I'd said.

-z-

"Mike I haven't been stalking you, .....or there again maybe I have, anyway I know you don't do Facebook but your friend Leonie does and I'm one of her friends although I use another name." 'Well now you've got my undivided attention Diana.'

I thought about what Diana said, "Fiona Strawbridge?"

Leonie had said this Fiona said she knew me from college which is true Diana and I both went to the same college. "Leonie has mentioned you a few times, and she would know you because she works for Tricycle Publishing, but she doesn't know who you really are though, or does she? Are you with Tricycle now?"

"Fiona Strawbridge is a children's book writer and she is popular although not up with the top kids writers but she does ok and yes for that genre Tricycle is one of the best publishing firms to be with. I purposely asked Leonie not to advertise who I am, and none of my children's books have my picture on them as yet."

"Have you met Leonie?"

"No, not yet, she's not my editor just facebook friend but I guess we will eventually." She blushed a bit, I was guessing there was more to the story, going by the stalking comment, but I wasn't gonna dwell on that right now.

"So. She also know's who Joanne Driscoll is, I know Leonie she may end up being a little pissed at you when she finds out Di." Crap!! I'd just called her Di, hopefully she didn't notice. And... Fuck!! Nope!

It got worse - yeah of course it did, she broke out in hysterics, "Hahahaha, not as pissed off with me about Joanne as she's gonna be pissed off with you when she finds out who Diana Blake is, I sooo... want to be a fly on the wall when that happens.... hahahahahahahah."

Immediately I wanted to take back that 'your forgiven' crap, treacherous little troll. It was on the tip of my tongue to tell her to change back to her maiden name.

And about today, it wasn't a co-incidence that we bumped into each other or we just happen to be in the same hotel, was it? "So did Leonie tell you I'd be in Penang? Where I was staying?"

"Yes it took a bit of coercing a couple of times to get the information as to whether you came to the Island anymore. But I planted the hotel idea into one of our conversation's and it went from there, remember she booked them for you, well actually I take responsibility in part for that too." She looked so proud with what she'd done.

I just smiled and shook my head, had to admire the effort. "Hah. Wait 'til I see that little sell out next."

"Have you read my last book Mike?"

"No, I know its a top seller though, the last one of your novels I read was 'On Redding Plain'. Good story, great plot, filled time between Brisbane and Vancouver. Two months ago."

"I'm in awe Mike Blake, you actually admitted you read one of my books. I thought you said you only read because you need to read those NATOP's thingamajig's so you could fly jet's."

"Books is how I met Leonie, she was first contact for a flight simulator manual we were doing and they did both the tech writing and formatting and then publishing. Now they do all our work in the Pacific."

"So is it serious, you and Leonie?"

"You know the answer to that Diana, I listened to the recording of you with him. What was one of the main reason's for you cheating on your marriage?"

"Loneliness, because you were gone. I was wrong Mike. Wrong. Everything was wrong. Rantings of a selfish, delusional, self-opinionated, egotistical young Author who thought her new found fame precluded her from her marriage vows and obligations. She is a totally different person now who takes her life steps with humility and reverence to her responsibilities. Now, worse is the fact my actions are causing you to still not have a meaningful relationship."

"Forgiven is forgiven Di."

-z-

I needed another drink I didn't need to ask Diana whether she wanted one, I walked to the bar to get them, besides we both needed a pause although working through this shit seemed we were comfortable with each other.

"So if there's nothing serious with Leonie does that make you guys FWB."

"What's FW?.. Ah.. I figured it out, yeah we are, and we both travel as well so anything exclusive or serious is off the table, we both wanted to make it work and we get checked regularly. I don't have time, inclination or energy to do the girl in every port thing and we're honest about other people, we've actually been our only's for about three ..four months I guess. What about you Diana, got a squeeze."

"No, none. Sorry, I just don't even... Look my writing has pretty much taken centre stage for the last three years and I'm not about to let up yet. I've got another coming out as a follow on from the last and I'm working on two more. Two more years and I'm done, I would've done and written all I wanted to do."

She sat sideways leaned up against the couch back staring at me, we sat sipping our drinks, I guessed what was coming. "Mike do you ever wonder..."