One Wish

I was in a hurry, rushing for yet another job interview, the train was late (as always) and I couldn't afford a cab. I really needed this job. I was nearly there, dashing down a back street away from the centre of a dingy town in the midlands. I was almost running past a shabby junk-shop ('Antiques' the sign announced -- yeah -- right!). Suddenly I stopped dead. In the corner of the window was a carved wooden ball, about the size of a cricket ball. For a second it seemed to be the only thing in the window. I shook my head and hurried on.

The interview was depressing. I was on time. I'd done my research. I was well qualified. I was scrubbed and dressed in my best suit -- not too shabby. But I saw the look in his eyes as I walked in and I knew he'd made up his mind. I did my best to sparkle but he really wasn't listening. He cut the interview short and I was back on the street in 25 minutes, clutching my meagre expenses cheque.

I was wandering about looking for a cheap café where I could get a bowl of soup or something when I found myself back outside the junk shop. There was the wooden ball in the corner of the window, almost hidden by a stack of chipped and scuffed dinky cars. It was covered in dust and had a peeling paper sticker with a hand written price on it - £1. For no reason at all I bought it.

Back in my tiny bed-sit I dug it out of my coat pocket and put it on the kitchen counter while I brewed a cup of three-tea. At that time three was still my limit -- next cup I'd break out a nice new tea-bag. If I didn't get a job in the next fortnight I'd be sampling the delights of four-tea -- oh joy!

I opened the post: four rejection letters and another demand from my wife for an increase in maintenance for the daughter I'd likely never see again. It was written on creamy white paper with the monogram of her new partner. I threw them all on the growing pile in the corner.

I squeezed the bag and sipped my tea. Black and unsweetened -- it was too weak to mess about with. I went and got an old toothbrush from my tool drawer and a little wax polish and started to clean the grime off my purchase.

It was weirdly beautiful. The wood was very dark, dense and close grained. The high spots were a bit scuffed but the rest shone with a deep red-brown glow -- almost black. It was covered in interwoven beasts and birds with sinuous lines in a highly stylised script that I didn't recognise -- Thai maybe? I fetched my hand-lens for a closer look. I could make nothing of the script but I noticed a slight discontinuity in the grain of the wood. Following it round I discovered that there was what appeared to be a pentagonal shape with convex sides set into surface. I pressed it to see if it moved but with no effect.

As I continued to examine the ball I found another five. Circle, triangle, square, the pentagon I'd already identified, hexagon and heptagon. All about the same size and set at the poles of the sphere. None of them would move.

It was getting dusky and I didn't want to burn electricity so I set the ball on my bedside 'table' (a battered three-legged stool that I'd found in a skip) and went to bed. I'd be up early in the morning -- I'd another interview to go to.

I slept soundly and more peacefully than I had in months. I awoke happy and refreshed. Even the prospect of another cold shower and scavenged fruit for breakfast couldn't spoil my mood.

As I sat on my cot cutting the bruised flesh from my breakfast I caught sight of the sphere in a shaft of dawn sun from the window.

After breakfast (with a cup of fresh tea!) I picked up the ball and moved to the window. I could touch all six buttons with two fingers and a thumb on each hand. As I got all six digits in place I felt a sudden thrill almost too brief to experience. With seemingly no effort all six shapes moved inwards by half a millimetre.

I released the buttons and the ball sprang open.

It was now a wooden filigree with a sinuous pattern of narrow openings a few millimetres wide. I held it up to the window and set my eye to the gap. Inside there appeared to be a small crystal sphere. I looked into it for a while.

I was jarred from my reverie by a crisp rat-tat-tat on my door. I looked around. The sun was close to setting and I was still standing there in my underwear, my neatly pressed suit and shirt laid out on the bed. I had wasted the whole day and missed my interview! Everything looked slightly odd. As if there was a slight shadow beside everything I could see.

The tapping on my door was repeated. I shouted some acknowledgement and fought my arms into my dressing gown. I opened the door to a tall, slim young man in a sharp, dark suit.

"Good evening Mr Clarke. May I come in?"

I stood aside and closed the door behind him.

"May I?" He plucked the sphere from my fingers and held it in the palm of his hand. He gave it a slight shake and it closed up hiding the crystal in the centre.

I shook my head as my vision cleared.

"Who are you? What are you doing here?"

"You have the talisman and you knew how to use it. That means you are desperate for help. I am here to offer you redress."

"Oh Christ! That fruit must've been off." I blinked but he didn't disappear. "Who are you again?"

"I know this won't be easy given your life-long atheism but I am the supreme being."

"God? Fuck off!"

"Not exactly... Let me start by saying that I find your world view to be one of the more sane that I've observed in your culture. But it's not entirely true. Yes -- there is a supreme being and I am it. But I'm not very close to your fellow humans' view of 'God'. I'm probably closer to what the Abrahamic delusionists think of as Mephistopheles."

"You're the devil? So where's god figure?"

"I'm sorry to be the bearer of bad news but, as you've always asserted, there is no God. I'm all there is. Oh, and by-the-way, I didn't do any creating either. I'm sort of -- the Universe. I am the consciousness of vacuum."

"Yeah right! And you just happened to focus your vast intellect, spanning a Universe more than twenty-seven billion light years across, on my pitiful existence!"

"No, actually. I'm currently fucking with the heads of approximately 1029 sentient entities in this 5-space alone -- I am the supreme being you know."

"So what's the deal? My soul for a sandwich?"

"Soul is a very misguided notion. What I'm actually proposing is to take an image of your brain-state at the moment of your death and load it on a simulation that I'm running in a nearby 5-space. Your consciousness would continue unbroken but you wouldn't have any separate corporeal existence. You'd just be a sim in my playpen."

"Why?"

"It helps to pass the time? There is quite a lot of it."

"So no torture then?"

"Well -- torture is a bit of a slippery concept. Your sim might find some of it's game environments to be ... challenging but since you'll be dead you won't be bothered by it."

"Will I feel dead?"

"You won't feel anything -- you'll be dead."

"Hmmm -- will the sim that is running my uninterrupted consciousness think it's dead? And will it believe that it's me?"

"It'll be a sim -- it won't actually think."

"OK -- you can spin cobwebs all day and I won't get an answer. All very entertaining and some nice conjuring tricks. But since you can't prove any of this I'll have my paperweight back and you can sod off."

"I like you! You'll be great fun to play with! OK -- yes. From 'your' point of view you'll still be alive. As for proof..."

The building dissolved leaving us standing on the fifth floor of nothing, with a boiling lava plain 20m under our feet. The heat, smoke and red-hot ash were suffocating. We stayed about half a minute and I was back in my bed-sit in a burning dressing-gown. I shrugged it off and stamped out the flames. Choking on the sulphurous fumes in my lungs.

"Convinced?" I nodded and coughed up a lump of lung. "Sure?" I nodded again. "Then let's get you stable so that we can talk." The pain in my lungs eased and the spot-burns on my face and hands started to heal. In ten minutes or so I was back to normal.

"So. Here's, as you say, the deal. You get the proverbial three wishes and I get your immortal brain image post-mortem."

I stood thinking for a while. I didn't exactly believe 'him' -- belief is not really part of my philosophy -- but I was prepared to accept his account as a working hypothesis.

"1029 huh?" It nodded. "And how many of them thought they could outwit you?"

"Surprising few think it and fewer try it."

"Hmm. You read minds of course. So you can head off ideas that might prove successful. Doesn't sound like a good prospect to me."

"Well, in theory I could but I assure you this is a fair game. I won't try to out-manoeuvre you. Whatever you wish for I will honour."

"Yeah -- says the prince of lies."

He looked pained. "Where's the fun in that? You have no idea how boring that would be!"

"Of the current 1029 how many would you estimate have you at a disadvantage?"

"Fourteen."

"Fourteen what? Percent?"

"No. Fourteen individuals. There are entities much more intelligent than you, and much less desperate, that haven't gotten this far. You are one smart monkey!"

"Ok. First, I don't want to get into any 'accidental' wishes. Give me a simple memorable process without which no wish is actionable."

"Very good! OK. You must be holding the talisman." He indicated the ball. "And you say 'By this talisman I wish'. If you get that wrong then you're too boring to bother with."

"OK. Can I have time to think?" He nodded. "Alone please?"

"OK. I'll give you a blink of time -- about 30 years max by your reckoning. When you want me back -- and you will -- just open the talisman."

I expected him to just wink out of existence but no, he opened the door, wished me good luck, and closed the door behind him. As quick as I could I pressed my eye to the security viewer but he was already out of sight.

I took a week. I made notes. I made three-tea. I polished my talisman. I went to another four pointless interviews.

I spent a lot of time over the next days writing and discarding wish lists -- I needed something dramatic and cast-iron. At the end of the week I was ready. I located the six pressure points and opened the sphere. Again the shadowy vision. Again the rat-a-tat on the door and there he was. He took the talisman and shook it closed then sat on a chair that materialised as he sat down.

"Would you care for some tea?" he asked indicating the table with the silver tea service that materialised as he spoke. "Take a seat." He placed the talisman in the centre of the tea-tray.

With some nervousness I sat and was gratified to feel the seat of a chair whisper into existence as my arse reached it. He poured the tea.

"So you've decided to accept my proposal then?"

"Not quite. I've a few questions first."

"OK. Fire away!".

"First, what do I call you?" He frowned. "Give me a name that I can use to address you."

"Pick a name now and that will be your name for me."

I thought hard. "I will call you Dominique -- Niq for short."

"Oh well done! That works on so many levels."

"Next question, how many of your -- collaborators? - wish for immortality?"

"Collaborators! Oh I like that! We are going to get along. About 80% - usually the third wish -- often with a bit of a flourish."

"Hmmm 80% and you don't mind telling me this?"

"Oh not at all. I imagine your path is set or you'd not have called."

"And how does that work out for you? I mean not having a sim to play with after all?"

"In practice immortality works out at between four and five times the average life-span of the entity concerned. After that they are usually begging for death."

"Which you allow of course or you wouldn't get your sim."

"Well... a contract's a contract. I do usually concede in the end but I like to wait for what seems like a promising mind-state. On this planet, in this 4-space, the record is just over two and a half thousand years. Most of it spent in a porphyry sarcophagus."

There was no doubt that this guy was very dangerous but he was right -- I was desperate. The question was 'How smart am I'. I drew a deep breath.

"OK Niq. Here we go!" I picked up my talisman. "By this talisman I wish for you, Dominique, the supreme being, to fall devotedly, eternally, generously and unselfishly in love with me". I placed the talisman back on the table and watched him closely.

His face seemed to soften and become subtly more feminine. He smiled a soft, enigmatic smile.

"Do you love me?" He (she?) nodded. "I think I'll save the other two wishes for another time." Another nod. "I know you've been reading my mind so why did that work?"

"It spoils the fun. I was reading your mind that first afternoon, and to be honest nudging you a little, so that you'd be able to find the talisman but as soon as you opened it I stopped -- otherwise there's no point."

"OK. You have my permission to read my mind a bit so that you can see how I'd prefer you to look and act but stay away from the private stuff -- OK?"

"Yes my love -- you'd like me to be... a woman? Or a man? You seem to like both."

"Yes Niq. I am definitely bi -- I do like women a bit more than men though. So I'd like you to be a slim tallish woman with small round breasts and narrow hips -- the sort that could pass for a man. And I'd like you to be a slim man, average height etc. - the sort of man that could be mistaken for a woman in a shady night club. You work out the details -- you know my tastes."

"Would you like me to have a cock?"

"Do I have to choose?"

"Not really if you can handle it. How's this..." He changed into a beautiful auburn haired, green eyed waif. About an inch shorter than me.

"Mmmm -- very nice." I gestured towards her chest. She slowly removed her jacket, shirt and tie. Beneath were a perfect pair of small breasts, high and round with long hard nipples. I gestured again and she removed her shoes, socks and trousers revealing a very nice cock. About eight inches, quite thick, uncut. Nice balls and a neat, tidy patch of deep red hair.

I reached out and cupped a breast. It was soft and warm in my hand. I took his cock in my other hand. It stiffened perceptibly. She moved towards me and kissed me. Soft full lips.

"And where do I put this?" I let go of his cock and cupped my own. He stepped back and gestured towards his crotch. Cock and balls retracted to be replaced by a sweet cunt. A full mons with plump lips. Just a narrow line of her inner labia visible in the gap. Bare and smooth save for a tidy triangle of the same deep red hair stopping just short of a neat clitoral hood hiding an obvious plump bud.

I reached again and felt the slippery moisture of muffin juice.

"This body's never been fucked. I can be a virgin for you if you want." I looked hungrily at her perfect body. It had been a long time since I'd had a woman. Or a man for that matter. Was this what I wanted? She looked into my eyes. "Or you might like this..." She stepped back and gestured towards her cunt. I watched as her clitoris swelled and lengthened until it was that lovely cock. Now fully erect. I could see the dew forming on the lips of her cunt. "They are both fully functional...".

I still hesitated.

She sighed. "Now that you are no longer destitute You'll find that you are much more attractive to women... and men. If you will it you can have anyone you want. Anyone at all." She looked a bit melancholy. "I know how much you like group sex. Any combination -- just ask."

I stepped forward and took her in my arms.

"You really do know." She opened her mouth to speak again but I closed it with a kiss. Hours later I broke the kiss. "Let's get to know each other first. I'll think of you as female if that's OK. You decide which... configuration to use as we go." I felt her cock shrink back to a fat clit.

I lowered myself gingerly to my knees. Anticipating the twinge of damaged cartilage in my left knee. It just wasn't there.

"I've made a few repairs. I hope you don't mind."

I smiled and reached for her clit with my tongue. There was a whisper as my clothes turned to dust and drifted towards the window which was now slightly open.

"There are replacement clothes in your wardrobe." I glanced towards the alcove where my few rags were hung on a rope. The room was about five times bigger than I remembered. Everything was sort of arranged the same. But my narrow cot with the flock mattress was now a King sized divan with clean sheets and new pillows. The alcove now contained a large solid wardrobe. "I'm yours now. Please don't be angry if I want us to be a bit more comfortable when you fuck me."

"I'm not angry but let's just leave the decor alone for a while. I've other things on my mind."

I led her to the bed and laid her down. She raised her left knee, her left foot on the bed, her legs slightly parted and waited while I laid down beside her. I lay on my side pressed against her. My right knee flexed across her thigh. I held her left breast while I nuzzled her right breast and suckled on her nipple. I realised that if I wanted her to lactate all I had to do was think it. But no -- at this point she was just a young virgin waiting to be penetrated for the first time. We kissed. I looked down at my hardening cock. That was when I realised that she'd modelled hers fairly closely on mine but longer by an inch and a half. The length I'd sort of hankered after. The length that I now had.

I moved between her thighs and she raised her right knee and opened to me.

"You put it in. It's your first time and you ought to be in charge."

She reached down and gently took my cock in her cool, soft hand. She rubbed the head slowly up then down between her lips. Her cunt was warm, soft and slippery. She centred my cock at the entrance to her body and pulled gently.

I pushed in slightly until I felt her hymen stretch across the top of my helmet then pushed through. She gasped softly as I sank balls deep in her cunt.

The sensation was almost overwhelming. I felt like I was going to explode among the galaxies.

"Whoa! Steady on!"

"I'm not doing that. You may be a cool sophisticated man of the world but your monkey-brain knows it's fucking the whole Universe. You are probably the most powerful cock that's ever existed in this 5-space."

"Probably?!"

"I didn't want you to get above yourself. Go on. you're the stud who had the balls to seduce The Supreme Being. Now fuck me until Rigel explodes."

"Literally?"

"Unlikely but not impossible."

I started a slow steady fuck. Full length strokes (really enjoying my extra inch and a half). My pubic crest slamming into her plump clit every time I bottomed out. I felt amazing. I gradually increased speed.

My cock was flashing in and out of her tight cunt. My joints felt like they had ball-bearings. She was hanging around my neck thrusting up to meet my descending cock. I could almost feel her growing arousal and I knew that we would climax together.

When it came it was cataclysmic. I couldn't believe the amount of muck I was chucking up her. She'd been tweaking me up again!

When we'd both finished I collapsed on top of her. She held me tenderly while I recovered. I had never felt so alive.

Eventually I rolled off her and we curled up and slept.

That is, I slept. I've no idea what she was up to. Probably fucking with the heads of 1029 other sentient entities.

When I woke up she was gazing down at me, stroking my hair. She looked radiant. She knew I was awake of course -- she knows everything. She said "That was momentous. I must say you monkeys have really got this sex business sorted. I just love evolution! It really comes up with some crazy shit.".

I laughed "Stop the presses! God believes in evolution!."