One Year After

Marilyn frowned.

"Yes, we're both women, so you think like just like I do. You might not be interested in him now, but you will be, one of these days, just like I was. It's normal for a woman to want a man."

"Marilyn, I wouldn't ever try to take Randy away from you, even if I was interested in him. The way he looks at you, I don't think I could anyway."

"That's what Joe told me when we got married, but I still lost him."

"I know. He died. Randy told me."

Emily saw tears forming in Marilyn's eyes.

"I lost Joe long before this happened. He started going on and on about how the banks were going to go under and how the government was going to collapse. After a while, he couldn't think about me, that way anyway, and think about the banks and government too, so he chose them. I didn't lose him to another woman, but I still lost him. I can't go through that again."

Emily walked to Marilyn's chair, pulled out another, and sat down beside her.

"Marilyn, I didn't know about that. I understand now. Please don't be worried because you don't have to be. I'm a two-spirit."

Marilyn wiped her eyes and then looked at Emily.

"What's a two-spirit?"

"A two-spirit is a man or a woman with two spirits, one male and one female. It's not exactly the same thing, but you would call me a lesbian."

"You like women?"

"Yes. Ever since I can remember."

"You've never been with a man...ever?"

Emily smiled.

"No, never. I did have a girlfriend in Challis a while back, but she decided she wanted a family and got married to a guy. I suppose she's dead now too."

Marilyn's face turned suspicious.

"You wouldn't ever...you know, try anything with me, would you?"

Emily chuckled.

"No. Not unless you wanted me to. I'm pretty self-sufficient that way."

Emily winked at Marilyn.

"Of course, you're a pretty sexy woman, so if you did want to..."

"Well, thank you, I guess, but I think I'll just stay the way I am."

Emily put her hand on Marilyn's.

"Feel better now?"

"Yes."

"Well then let me give you a hug, just a hug like we were sisters, nothing else. I could use one too."

At the end of the day, they gathered around the big fireplace in the main lounge. For a while, they stared at the crackling flames that slowly gnawed away at the big birch logs on the andirons.

Randy felt like he'd made the right decision. The lodge sat on about thirty acres of a minor mountain peak flattened by time, water, and temperature changes. To the north was a large valley that would have enough grass to make hay to last the horses through the winter. There was enough room on the flattened area for the lodge, barn, a small house for the guides and a large pasture for the horses. Through that pasture and on down into the valley ran a small mountain stream that furnished water for the horses. It also furnished water for the lodge through a pipe that ran from a spot in the stream down to a steel tank that sat on a concrete platform. There wasn't much water pressure, but at least they wouldn't have to carry water from the stream to the lodge.

There was enough open space behind the lodge for a large garden. At three edges of the flattened top, the mountain sloped down at a steep angle, steep enough it would have been tough climbing for a man without climbing equipment, and impossible for a horse. Only on the fourth side, where the road ran that was now snowed shut, was the way wide enough and not sloped too much for a vehicle or horse to make it to the lodge.

It was still possible for someone to come to the lodge, but the road was the only way to do that so they'd at least have some warning. He made a mental note to barricade the road somehow as soon as he could cut trees again.

He was also thinking about their sleeping arrangements. He'd slept in his sleeping bag since Emily had come into the cabin. He needed Marilyn beside him and he knew she felt the same way, but he wasn't sure what Emily would think.

Emily solved his problem.

"I'm tired and I'm going to bed. You two do whatever it is you did before me, and I'll see you in the morning."

Marilyn stood up and held out her arms, and when Emily opened hers, they gave each other a hug. Then Emily walked out of the main lounge and back to her bedroom.

Randy couldn't believe what he'd just seen. Since Emily had joined them, Marilyn had been tense to the point of seeming to be upset. He'd figured the reason was Emily, but they'd just hugged each other. He looked at Marilyn.

"What happened between you two this afternoon?"

Marilyn smiled.

"We just had a talk, that's all."

"You went from being jealous to hugging her with just one talk?"

"Well, I wasn't really jealous, just worried a little. Emily fixed all that. She likes girls, not boys, so I don't have to worry about her taking you away from me."

"So now I have to worry about the same thing in reverse?"

Marilyn stood up and held out her arms.

"Well, It depends."

"On what?"

"On how often and how well you make love to me, starting tonight."

The winter passed a little faster than they expected. None of them really knew the date anymore, but a week after they settled into the lodge, Randy cut a small pine tree and carried it into the lodge. Marilyn and Emily were all smiles and happy chatter as they decorated it with popcorn strung on thread Marilyn had brought from Challis. There weren't any presents under the tree, but that didn't really matter. The real gift they'd received that Christmas was a chance to live.

Before they knew it, they saw the icicles on the eaves of the lodge dripping. The snow started melting and in a month, it was only patches of dirty white in the shade of the pines. Those disappeared two weeks later and were quickly replaced with a carpet of wild flowers and fresh grass in the pasture and in the valley below. The wilderness came to life with the cheeping of birds seeking mates and eagles soaring high together and then falling, locked together, as they courted a mate. They saw fawns beside their mothers in the pasture in the early morning and late evening, and ducks began nesting on the banks of the stream.

As soon as the road to the lodge melted enough to be passable, Randy cut some of the pines at the edge of the valley and by using the horses, pulled them up the road to the lodge and stacked the trunks four feet high. He left a gap wide enough for a loaded pack horse in the middle. They could get out to hunt and bring in firewood from the birch trees on the side of the mountain but the narrow gap would prevent more than a couple people from coming through at once.

It's now summer, and they haven't seen anybody come up the road. If the infrequent ham broadcasts they've heard are right, there are few survivors of the disease left. Most died of starvation or exposure during the winter, or were killed when they tried to invade the camps of the people who escaped infection. One of the hams in California said he'd seen a Navy helicopter flying over his camp two weeks before, but hadn't seen any since.

It doesn't matter to Randy, Marilyn, and Emily whether they see any helicopters or other people for a while. They feel safe up on that mountain, and they also feel comfortable with each other. Marilyn and Emily have become as close as sisters. Randy is amazed at how much they talk to each other, because it seems like they never stop.

Randy and Marilyn have settled into a relationship that, a year before, would have been called being married. Now, it's just two people who can't imagine living without each other. Neither can imagine living without Emily either. She's become the only other person they can trust, and has lived up to that trust by trusting them in return. She's the bright spot in their lives if they're feeling down, and is always ready to give either a hug, sometimes even if they don't need one.

Randy sometimes suspects the hug between Marilyn and Emily is becoming more than just a hug. He was building the road barricade when Marilyn said she could get pregnant, and she and Emily had spent hours together while he worked outside one day. They both looked a little sheepish when he asked how their day had been. Randy doesn't care. He could never deny Emily the pleasure he found with Marilyn.

He is a little worried about a conversation they had once spring arrived. Marilyn said she wondered if there were enough people left to keep the human race going. Emily said there probably were if there were enough women of child bearing age left and they were willing to get pregnant. They'd both looked at Randy then and asked what he thought.

He'd answered that he thought that was the case, and the conversation changed, but Randy knew what they were really asking him. He's still trying to figure out how they would manage without a doctor, and how Marilyn would feel about him fathering children with both her and with Emily.

As for Emily, she's never told either Randy or Marilyn the real reason she rode down their valley that day. She'd filled the barn with hay like she'd said, but it was just because she couldn't bear the thought the horses would die of starvation after she left. She wasn't riding to Challis for food and then coming back to the lodge. After losing Sharon and then hearing about the disease, she'd decided it wasn't worth the pain of living anymore. She'd intended to ride to Fort Hall and die in her parent's house. Then she'd stumbled onto Randy and Marilyn.

Randy had seemed to be a nice man, and Marilyn a nice woman, and when they gave her food and a tent to live in, and later welcomed her into their cabin, she changed her mind. They made her live when she wanted to die, and became the family she'd lost. She knows there is no way to ever thank them enough for that, so she's kept that secret to herself.

Now that it's warm enough in the evenings, they'll sit on the porch of the lodge and watch the sun slowly sink into the trees. Their life isn't easy, but it's life. Someday, they might venture back down to Challis or maybe Clayton or Stanley, but for now, they're content living with nature. It's what Randy dreamed of doing as a boy, and what Marilyn has come to understand is the right way. Emily didn't need to learn. That understanding was passed on to Emily from her parents and grandparents.

As the shadows begin to disappear into the black of night, they'll go inside and crank up the radio to see if anyone has any news. Then, they'll wish each other good night, blow out the candles and lamps and go to bed. Their nights are comfortable. Every morning a year after is a blessing.