Out in the Black Ch. 05

This is a book-length work, so not every chapter will involve sex. If you're just looking for a quick wank, this probably isn't your story.

Thanks for reading!

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Never would I have imagined that Carter Rust would be a cuddler. In my head, he was a love 'em and leave 'em type, though I believed he would always be straightforward about his expectations and what he was offering. He was nothing if not practical. I could see him picking someone up at a bar and going to their place - never his own - to have mind-blowing sex, and then leaving once he'd caught his breath so he could avoid the awkward morning-after conversation. Turns out I was right about the incredible sex part, but the way he held me close in his bed cast doubt upon the rest. And an obnoxious little voice in my head insisted on remarking that the person sneaking out last night had been me.

Sleep claimed me at some point because I woke up to the dimmed lighting the ship defaulted to at "night" - or whatever we decided night was out here in the black. I had a dry mouth, full bladder, empty stomach, and a throbbing stiffness between my legs. I shifted a little, trying to get into position to slip out of bed without waking Rusty; movement beside me let me know it was wasted effort.

"Are you okay?" he asked softly, rubbing gentle circles on my shoulder with his thumb.

Yeah, just - " I gestured toward the foot of the bed. I had meant to indicate the toilet cubical in that direction, but Rusty's attention was captured by the tented sheet at my groin. He leaned down and took me in his mouth and, for just an instant as I was enveloped by that hot wetness, I was afraid I would let go and reward his efforts with a mouthful of piss. Thankfully the moment passed and I was able to enjoy the sensations he was sending through my body with his mouth and tongue. The pressure in my bladder distracted me, though, and the amount of concentration it pulled kept me going far longer than I otherwise would have. Rusty seemed to be enjoying himself as well, so I tried not to worry about it.

My hips had started lifting to meet him despite my attempts to stay still when a hand grabbed my balls and tugged. I whimpered and grabbed fistfuls of the sheet. Rusty dipped his head until his nose and lips were against my body, my cock buried deep in his throat. He swallowed, using his throat muscles to massage my swollen flesh, and tugged again, harder this time. I suddenly forgot every letter other than "O," so I repeated that one again and again as my balls tightened and I exploded in his mouth. Groaning, Rusty swallowed everything I gave him, his fingers digging into my hips as he held me in place. I floated in bliss, connected to my body with the lightest of tethers, an umbilicus through which I was fed continuous pleasure as the engineer licked me clean. My brain conjured the image of an ice cream cone and I was immediately jerked back to myself, my stomach giving a loud protest at having its needs ignored for so long.

Head on my thigh, Rusty grinned up at me. "Guess we shouldn't make it a habit to skip dinner." Another growl from my belly signaled its agreement. "I'll see what I can find. Be right back." I watched, dazed, as he covered himself with a hand and stuck his head out the door, looking up and down the hallway. Presumably the coast was clear because he stepped out, the door closing behind him. As surprised as I was by my engineer deciding to raid the galley naked, other issues demanded my attention. I was just crawling back into bed when the door opened and Rusty reappeared, breathless with laughter.

After handing me a sandwich and a bottle of water, he leaned against the wall and took a long drink from his own bottle. "Thirsty work, that," he joked, nodding towards my lower half. I didn't waste energy replying, too busy devouring my food to care about much else. It wasn't until I was washing the last bite down with my remaining water that I realized he hadn't gotten food for himself.

"Weren't you hungry?" He simply raised an eyebrow at me and waited. It took me a second to understand his meaning and I cursed the heat I could feel rising up my neck and into my face.

"Plus I almost got caught, so I decided feeding my captain took priority." My eyes widened, imagining another member of the crew walking in on a very big, very nude spacer fixing a sandwich. The mental image made me laugh. "Yeah, it's not so funny when it's your ass in the wind," he said, smiling. He finished his water and used the facilities, then lay on his back and held out an arm. Accepting the invitation, I snuggled up close to his side, my head pillowed on his shoulder. I heard his jaw crack twice as he yawned and closed his eyes. I followed suit, my fingers tracing light circles on his stomach. Rusty was running his fingertips up and down my arm and I realized I couldn't remember the last time I had been so completely comfortable. The lingering traces of my post-orgasm glow allowed me to relax against him, my heavy body dragging me back down into sleep. Belatedly, I remembered that he had gotten me off and I'd neglected returned the favor, but I was unconscious before I could think to do anything about it.

Again I awoke, discovering that we had changed positions. Rusty lay on his stomach with his back tilted towards me, his head facing the wall. The sheet was tangled around me, so either I had stolen it or he had kicked it off and I'd claimed it; regardless of how it happened, he was left naked and exposed to my gaze. My eyes traced the shape of him, taking pleasure in just being able to look. A dark tattoo climbed his right arm, extending over his shoulder and up to the base of his neck. Below that were the scars. Horror twisted my gut as I tallied the suffering this man had endured from these marks alone. An evenly spaced line of perfectly round burns marched across his pale skin just below his shoulder blades, perpendicular to the spine. The cruelty displayed by inflicting such precise injury was rivaled only by the savagery evident in a long, curving slash that began below his right armpit and inscribed a sloping arc across the back of his ribs before making an abrupt turn to cross his spine at a diagonal. Scattered around these were the more typical scars that happened when you fought for a living.

When I focused on the whole, however, there was no denying the beauty and power in his form. Columns of muscle framed his backbone and wide shoulders tapered smoothly down to his waist. The way he was lying, the curve of his ass rose invitingly, and I found myself wanting to explore the mysteries of that shadowed cleft.

That was new.

Over the last cycles, as my profile had risen in the industry, my sexual encounters had become mostly obligatory. It was an unstated aspect of fame culture - provide access to gain access. If you couldn't give the stars an entry point for additional money or power, you had to offer what you did have. I doubted the majority of the men and women who had been my partners were all that excited about it, either. That you had bedded one of the most desired pieces of ass in the galaxy - and my PR firm had never explained how they pulled off getting me that label - was more important than the sex itself. Two (or more) uninspired persons in bed does not fireworks make.

Thus, for the first time in recent history, I was in bed with a person I wanted. It was intoxicating. As my desires shook off their mothballs, I was discovering new aspects of my sexuality, such as the fact that I found myself ready to dive face-first into Rusty's gorgeous ass. Managing to restrain myself, I instead trailed my fingers lightly along the shallow dip of his spine. When I reached the base, I shifted to follow the muscular curve of his ass up and around to where it met the top of his leg. He moaned softly and parted his legs a bit more. Barely skimming the surface of the pale skin, I touched the sparse dusting of curls his movement had revealed, savoring my explorations. Rusty gave a stronger moan when I dragged my fingers up through his cleft, twitching as they passed across the puckered flesh hidden within.

His encouragement crumbled the last of my inhibitions and my tongue followed the trail my fingers had blazed. "Matt." He breathed my name softly, almost a sigh, and desire washed through me. With light, teasing licks, I focused on the area around his hole, asking him to open for me. After a time, he was whimpering and pushing back toward me, trying to prolong the contact. I pulled away and roughly massaged the globes of his ass, squeezing and pushing, leaving his asshole exposed for my planned assault. Without warning, I plunged my stiffened tongue into him. "Oh, fuck!" he cried and pushed back hard against my face. Fingers digging into his flesh, I shoved his hips down against the bed and began licking and sucking with abandon.

I lost all sense of time, completely absorbed with eating Rusty's ass. He was incredibly vocal on the receiving end, allowing me to easily learn what he liked. His hips rocked under me as I pressed my face tightly against him and swirled my tongue deep inside. "Oh, fuck, Matt. You're going to make me come." I made a noise that sounded suspiciously like a growl and redoubled my efforts. Moments later, he gave a strangled cry and his channel pulsed, clutching at me. With an explosive gasp, I rolled to the side and jerked my cock, quickly joining him in release.

"Holy shit," he mumbled, turning to lie on his back. I propped myself on an elbow so I could see his face. "You are - " Rusty shook his head. A hand gripped the back of my neck and then I was being thoroughly kissed.

Since he had made a mess of the bedding and I had managed to hit both of us, we eventually climbed out of Rusty's bunk and used the non-soiled portions of the sheet to clean ourselves of the bits that the nanites hadn't managed. I dug my shorts out of the combined pile of discarded clothing and tugged them on while he stripped the bed and unfolded a clean set of sheets. "That - that was a first for me," he told me, giving me a lopsided grin before bending to remake the bed.

"Yeah, me too."

"I can't imagine it happens all that often," he responded, and I realized we were talking about two different things.

"No, I mean that - " I coughed and started again. "I haven't done, you know, that before."

"Ah. Well, you're a fast learner." Rusty straightened from the half-made bed and pulled me into his arms, kissing me softly. Our lips had barely touched when my comm tone sounded. Groaning, I pulled back to answer.

"What?" I snapped, immediately regretting taking out my irritation on whoever was on the other end. They couldn't know what they were interrupting.

"We're approaching Shangri Las Vegas, Captain," my XO's unflappable voice responded. "You have a security briefing immediately after we dock, then you're due in hair and makeup."

"Thank you, Li. I'll be there shortly." Rusty raised an eyebrow. I closed the link and repeated what Li had told me.

"Well, shit. Just when things were getting interesting, too." The engineer dropped his arms and stepped back, turning away to continue working on his bunk. A muscle was jumping in his jaw. "Looks like it's back to the upper decks for you, so you can quit slumming with the commoners now."

I flinched, stung. Was that how he viewed me? Fury raced through me, burning away all remnants of our earlier passion. If he was going to say something like that after I had just been with him in a way I'd shared with no other person, perhaps he wasn't the man I thought he was. That fucking little voice piped up, suggesting the engineer was exactly the person he'd always claimed to be, that it was possible (likely) I was assuming things I had no right to. The truth in that only pissed me off more. Gripping my jumpsuit in one fist, I turned on my heel and strode from the room before I lashed out and further damaged what had been a productive working relationship. One of us could be professional, anyway. Silence from the asshole in my head spoke volumes about which one he considered the grownup.

"Cap?" The door shut behind me, cutting off whatever else Rusty might have planned to say. In my anger, I neither noticed nor cared if anyone else witnessed my half-naked exit from the engineer's quarters. Sure, crewmates fucked around all the time, but generally captains did not participate. There was too much chance of breeding resentment. That thought set my teeth on edge, hammering home the realization that Rusty and I lived in different worlds. It was past time I return to mine.

A quick shower - during which my traitorous brain kept surfacing memories of the day before - did not improve my mood any before the meeting with my second in command. "Who shit in your cereal?" she asked as she dropped into the jump seat in my office. Alix Li had been my best friend since we met in flight school. Neither of us were aiming to be pilots, but basic flight training was a requirement for anyone who planned to spend a lot of time on board ships. Well, for those of us who wanted to be responsible about it, anyway. And that was me: Mr. Responsible.

"Don't start," I warned.

"Sorry, Mac," she responded, giving me a sympathetic look, "I kind of have to, both as your second and your friend." Dark eyes - currently filled with concern for me - above killer cheekbones, full, pouty lips, and thick black hair she kept cut short and artfully tousled: Leelee was gorgeous enough to have found her own lucrative career on my side of the camera. The top of her head barely reached my chin and I probably could have circled her waist with my hands, but her personality was big enough for ten men Rusty's size. She strongly preferred staying behind the scenes where nobody expected her to play to any holdover stereotypes about demure Asian women.

She also took her responsibility to call me on my bullshit quite seriously. "You really don't." I cringed at the pleading tone in my voice.

"He has a certain reputation. You know that as well as I do." I sighed and didn't bother asking her how she knew. She always knew. "If it makes you feel better, I'm pretty sure nobody else has noticed you two are - " Li made a vulgar gesture. "I have to admit, it surprised me that things went anywhere at all between you guys."

"Thanks?"

Li waved a hand. "You know what I mean. His whole 'no charging in the company port' thing is legendary. You may be one of the Milky Way's most eligible bachelors," she continued with a grin, knowing how much I hated shit like that, "but I wouldn't have bet on even you to be able to crack the wall around that man." I sighed and pinched the bridge of my nose, annoyed with her and even more irritated at myself. She was right: I had known exactly what I was getting myself into, even if my success had shocked the hell out of me.

"If you're done lecturing me about my personal choices, can we get on with it, please?" Li made a high-pitched cat noise, holding up a hand bent into a claw, before getting down to the business of coordinating our jobs over the next few days.

~*~

I knew the captain usually stayed on the station while working on his report about whatever event or celebrity whim had brought us out there, but I'll cop to feeling just the tiniest bit of disappointment when he didn't show that first night. Mostly, I was relieved to have things get back to normal, or at least that's what I told myself. It might have been more convincing if I'd been able to sleep. I ended up spending the majority of the time arguing in my head that it wasn't possible how sharing for two nights had turned the bed I'd been comfortable in for half a cycle into something too big and too empty.

And it was beyond ridiculous to keep insisting there was some deeper meaning in what Cap had said, about not rimming anyone before me. So what if he'd never shared that with anyone else? Even if it did mean something, it wasn't something I wanted anyway. Sure, the sex had been great and the man had done things with his tongue that were probably illegal in certain colonies, but at the end of the day, I was still me. I did not get involved.

Eventually, I gave up on sleep and dragged myself out of bed, stopping by the wall display to send a grumpy note to Kells telling her that her rules classification system had serious flaws. The part of me that was a little shit kept trying to blame all of this on her. If she had never set foot on the Marzi, I would be out getting some nice, anonymous ass on the station instead of wandering, gritty-eyed, in the direction of the gym. Fucking her again had been a bad call. Talking to her - being friends with her - led directly to me taking my frustration out on a gel pad instead of enjoying some pretty thing's mouth.

"Fuck you!" I shouted the words, punctuating them with hits to the target. Boom, boom. Right, left. Sweat sticking my shirt to my back, I stopped to catch my breath. As the words echoed in my ears, I knew they weren't meant for Kells. I needed to skin the fuck up and own my shit. Being a grown-ass man included not shifting blame to easier targets when it belonged right on my own damn shoulders. Fuck me, indeed.

For most of the ships I'd been on, docking at a station was a welcome chance to get much-needed supplies and blow off steam. The Marzi was new enough we didn't have many needs yet, but there was nothing stopping me from that second bit. I refused to believe my ass had stuck around, waiting for Cap, because that also fell under things Rusty absolutely did not do. Irritated, I took myself off to the shower and fell into bed, refusing to think about the captain's mouth. Or his ass. Or his tongue. That fucking tongue. I must have slept at some point, but it didn't do shit to improve my mood.

Pissy as hell, I rattled around the mostly empty ship the next day, taking five times longer than necessary to do the few tasks I could find that needed done. After catching the looks the XO was sending my way, I made it a point to stay out of her vicinity as well. Thinking about the captain giving Li the rundown on the shit we'd been up to got under my skin; I took off the second night, fully intending to drink myself stupid and fuck the brains out of the first willing partner I found. I made good progress toward the first, realizing I'd failed only after I couldn't bring myself to go through with the second. There were plenty of likely candidates, but I couldn't dredge up the desire to get my rocks off with someone I wouldn't remember by the same time the next day.

There was something seriously wrong with me. A visit to the doc was probably in order. Fuck.

When I stumbled in, reeking of booze, naturally the XO was right there, staring me down. Knowing any words that came out of my mouth would not improve my situation - and that throwing up on the woman was a good way to get my nose busted - I pushed past her and made my way to the head. At least sharing resources with a space station meant the water rationing was relaxed, so I could retch my guts out without the fucking shower cutting me off. Clean enough and already suffering the first signs of the oncoming hangover, I nearly missed the message notification on my way to bed. I briefly considered ignoring it before sighing and pulling up the recording, scowling when I saw the grin Kells was giving me.

"You did it? Oh my god, I can't believe it. I need info! Call me anytime - Luna is hooked up with all the stations on subspace so the lag is almost nonexistent."

Glancing at the clock, I tried to figure what time of day it would be on Luna. Ships and stations all used the same clock because day and night didn't really mean shit in the black, but planets and moons did things differently. Juggling the numbers proved too difficult for my alcohol-soaked brain, so I gave up on doing math that was pointless anyway because I wasn't going to call her. I was sure of that up until her face appeared on the display in front of me.