Out of the Ashes Ch. 19

"This I cannot allow. No matter the price," Margaret said. "I won't let you continue the bloodshed any longer."

Anastasia's brows almost met when she composed herself by taking a deep and long breath and slowly sank deeper onto her knees and sighed in defeat.

"Then you will have to sacrifice your own happiness for the good of your people. Or you will find yourself at the mercy of people whose hands you rejected. As much as it darkens my heart. I am afraid you have to choose, Margaret," she said in a clearly sad but determined tone.

"Choose? Choose! I am no one to choose anything," Margaret exploded and this time shot up from her wooden stool.

"The crown never even graced my hair and I already feel others pulling it away from me! Only so that they can further their own good or pursue their complacent theories on how they save more lives by ending them!"

Anastasia rose to meet her daughter's eyes who kept avoiding her once again.

"This burden was what Euridike and I wanted to take off your shoulders. The frustration, the anger, even the fear of becoming someone you never imagined you could turn yourself into. All this is what it means to be king. It's a way pathed with blood, tears and sweat... nothing else. You will need people you can trust, people you can love and people that will defend you till the end of time, otherwise you won't find the strength to endure all this for the rest of your life. Nobody would."

The king's set of teeth were grinding into one another as her face reddened with anger but instead of foul words, tears erupted from her face.

"I just want to save lives..." Margaret whimpered and let her head hang low in defeat.

Once again, a hand was reaching out to her through the iron bars that separated mother from daughter.

"I know. Nothing is more honourable, but so are we," she said and grabbed her daughter's hands before she could reject her. "Please. Let me take care of this burden. And I will assure you, your daughter will grow up protected and loved. You have my word."

Margaret's hands were shaking, even within the tight embrace of her mother's hardened fingers. Her tears were dripping down onto her royal gown and washed away the last bit of authority she tried to hold on to.

Why was she not more conflicted over a cruel offer that already started to fill her heart with shameful approval? Because it meant the death of thousands? Or because she feared she would be responsible for many more fates like Manuel's? She didn't know anymore. Her head was spinning and every time she went over all her options, she found herself in the role of a mother, rather than a king. But was a king nothing more than the mother of everyone within her realm?

"I can't let you do this, please... reconsider," Margaret begged.

"This I cannot. Your opinion was formed over months of living with humans, mine was shaped after decades of frail peace and all-consuming war. Neither of us knows the full truth, how could we? Your experiences made you wiser in ways that I can't even comprehend. But you are just one woman. If there is a way to coexist like you see it, then it will remain exactly that: The vision of one woman, a king, but nevertheless just one woman. You won't be able to change the world all on your own, Margaret. No matter how noble and honourable your intentions are. You need others just as much as others need you. Please let me help you, for your own sake. I don't want to see you suffer, not when you should revel in the joys of motherhood instead. Now more than ever you have an obligation to your family. You have the holiest and greatest of challenges ahead of you already, let me take care of the kingdom, so you can be a mother that doesn't have to choose between her maternal duties and her responsibilities as king. So, you won't have to become like me."

Anastasia's eyes pleaded somehow even louder than her words. Not out of greed or self-preservation. Far from it. This was truly nothing more than a duty to her, one that she believed was only for her to take and endure. And one that she clearly considered as a burden she often must have regretted taking upon herself, yet she would fulfil until her last breath.

Margaret could never imagine such a life for herself. The decisions Anastasia had to make, the path she walked on since her youth and all the tribulations and fights she had to overcome to rise from a woman that set out to change the world to becoming the guardian of this new world. This was an enticing offer, to see such a life pass and remain a princess and a mother for a bit longer before she would have to take on the mantle. Hopefully never.

It was too enticing not to give in she caught herself thinking. Spending years of peace with her daughter, with Alexia more or less on her side, instead of disowning both of them. It sounded not just enticing, but almost foolish to even think about rejecting such an offer. But her mind was circulating around one little line that stopped her from giving in. One line that was meant to encourage her, and be an offer of love from her mother, but steeled Margaret's will instead. One line that rekindled a flame that was on verge of going out forever. But no more.

"Your offer is wise. And I thank you from the bottom of my heart to consider taking on a burden I learned to dread myself. But... you are living proof that one can change the world. That one woman, maybe also a king, can rise to try better the fates of everyone she swore to protect. You set out to bring peace to the realm when you rallied the banners and marched out with Theresa's weapons. And you have faced challenges, that would have broken everyone else, yet you prevailed. This is what makes you deserving of the crown. And I have yet to earn such honours, but I will. If my mother can prove that one woman can make all the difference in the world, so will I," Margaret said with growing passion.

For a second the king seemed to tower above her taller predecessor. For she silenced a former king with words that were spoken with such determination that was often regarded as a trademark of her mother.

"What if you fail? What if Theresa decides she wants to restore me back into power by force? You need her support! You need allies!" Anastasia eventually said after moments of silent awe.

"I came here to make sure that I can call all of my family my allies. You said it yourself, our family has the obligation to stand together as one and protect this kingdom, with all the strength and wisdom that was given to us. And we all have our role to play to achieve this goal. Me, mama, Sybilla and you," Margaret said.

The blue fire in Margaret's eyes silently fought with Anastasia's piercing green as her mute protest manifested.

"You speak the truth, but the path you want to take will end in misery. And I won't allow misery to hit my people, and especially my family. Margaret, your mercy will not be returned. Our enemies will show us none. From within and beyond."

The king walked closer towards the bars, her fingers still holding onto her mothers, but they slowly started to withstand the by now adamant grip.

"This will be my path to take. As you said, my experiences made me wiser.

Hopefully wise enough to find a way to return the kindness and trust these people, the ones you call our enemies, showed to me tenfold. Trust... is more important than anything else these days. And if today taught me anything then that I want to learn to trust you again. Please... mother. I want to lay my life and the life of my daughter into the hands of people I know I can trust. Please, don't let my words and trust into you to be proven foolish. And I will return to you the same faith you put into me, when you offered me your life and become a king capable of taking on such a burden."

Anastasia's eyes were daring all over the dungeon. She was thinking, faster and harder than she ever had.

"I can't... Forgive me, but I can't," she said after a seemingly eternal pause.

Margaret lacked the strength to explode with anger once more. She sighed, but kept her hands locked with her mother, even started caressing them gently as she knew what to say next.

"Then you will see your daughter and her daughter fight an unwinnable battle. The one you claimed you wanted to protect us from. But not just us, but also Sybilla, and queenmother," Margaret said and immediately noticed the impact on Anastasia's face.

"You will need to make sacrifices... or let others make those for you. As much as I wish this wouldn't be the case, this is the truth we all have to bow to."

"This I have learned already. But there is only one more sacrifice I am willing to make. You were right. About most things. The fact that I was not ready and that I needed protecting. I see this now. Although I needed the help of others to see this truth. And truth be told, I don't feel like I am better suited now than before our duel. But I am willing to learn from the ones that came before me. Learn from their strength and wisdom, despite finding no common ground on many topics," Margaret said and now pushed her curvaceous body almost into the bars as her face halted inches before her mothers.

"I know that I am not ready. Not yet. This is why I ask you to guide me on a path that I know to be rightful. You won't see it now, maybe never, but you trusted me enough to offer me your life willingly. Can't you trust me enough to become a king who can change the world, like you once did? If no, then you should not have showed me any mercy in the duel, because your sacrifice would not have served any purpose" Margaret said.

"I want to trust you," Anastasia started to whimper.

"Then I will trust you to not betray me, once you are freed from your cell. Please... don't become the woman that chooses her kingdom over her children once more. Both your daughters just got their mother back, don't take her away from them again."

Margaret searched her mother's face for clues, but she just stared into empty eyes. No anger, nor desperation, just numbness manifested on the former king's face.

Never one to form an opinion lightly she had to ponder over what she just heard.

"I expect your final answer at dawn. I cannot wait any longer. Farewell... mother. I hope not to find a king next time I visit you," Margaret said and turned around.

She was halfway down the hallway as she heard her mother's voice again. Not the voice Anastasia often used when talking to the masses or when ordering armies, but one of determination that made every single word swell with meaning. Which there were not many, only five words to be precise, but ones that made her almost erupt in the same joyful tears like her sister.

"I will tame the lioness."