Overmatched - Pt. 01

"You're right," she interrupted. "It's already started. Jack made a big deal over the weekend to explain the male psyche, pointing out how I should treat you when I return from our trips. He brought up things I'd never considered so we'll need to discuss them but the point is, he repeatedly told me he didn't think you'd be able to handle it for two years. He told me to expect you to leave me but to continue to do everything possible to prevent that. He likened it to selling a contract with a supplier who doesn't like doing business with us. He went to lengths to point out that very few men could overcome what he and Mortimer were doing. I asked, then why do it? His answer sickened me. He told me that money and our work are more important to the world than any individual. He then seemed to want me to know that those couples who complied and sucked it up profited greatly and were set for life."

"We've got to figure out how to get out of this situation," I told her hopelessly. "Run away with me - tonight. We'll send your resignation when we get where we're going so we have a head start. Or we won't send it at all."

"No, Andy," she said calmly. "I've thought about all that. I resign now - at home - we reduce our chance of getting away from them. I send my resignation later and it leads them to us."

"It's a sick game to them," I sighed. "I just need your honesty here. Tell me you're not a part of their game. Tell me you didn't know before that night. Tell me you'll help us get out of this. Tell me you won't be led down their dark path over the next two years - that you won't be seduced by the money and the power."

"I promise," she said sincerely. "I promise all that and more. I don't want to lose you. I want children with you. I want to grow old with you but not before making a lifetime of memories. For the hardest part, when you're feeling rage or hopelessness while I'm away with him, I want you to think about me and how hard it will be for me to allow it and pretend to enjoy it."

Katie and I were talked out and exhausted. I felt much better about us and our relationship, although I still had no idea how I would be able to handle that bastard Powers having my wife on demand as his personal sex toy. I didn't care what he'd said, I had zero trust in his actions, words, or motives. I would have to find a way to get to them through technology. That was going to be my mission.

Katie and I shared our bed that night but only to hold each other close and sleep. It felt like we clung for dear life. There were six days before Christmas and then another three days before Jack would be taking her away.

I asked her to try to find out where they were off to. That became the first rift in the delicate fabric of our trust. Katie worried I'd try to follow and do something that could get us both in a lot of trouble or maybe even dead. Fortunately, the argument was minor and I told her I only wanted to know where she was in case something - anything - happened. We gave each other plenty of slack, knowing we were under a lot of stress.

My wife did everything possible to keep my mood upbeat over the Christmas weekend. Both of us had already bought the other's present before the Worldview party. What happened on Christmas Eve was unplanned. Katie came into our en suite while I was showering and opened the sliding door.

"Hurry up, slowpoke," she teased. "We have plans."

It turned out that Katie had booked us into one of our favorite escapes - an Indian casino in Montana - for Christmas Eve and day. We made quite a day of the drive, stopping often to take some breathtaking photos of the snow-blanketed pines, or just to play in the white stuff. She had our wrapped gifts in the trunk and after a great steak dinner and a bottle of wine in the casino's upscale restaurant, we went to our rooms and exchanged them.

I felt more connected to my wife than any other day since that damned party. That led to a great evening of passionate lovemaking. She did her best to assure me of her loyalty and her love, and I basked in it. We'd lay there catching our breath and then one of us looked over at the other and it was game on, once more. Finally, she fell asleep with her head on my chest.

Only an hour later though, I was stirred awake. I have this thing about being able to detect someone staring at me even in my sleep.

"I love you, Andy," it was heartfelt. She had something in her hand and I knew what it was. I'd counted gifts on the way up to our room after check-in, so I knew she'd shorted me earlier by one. She saw me looking at it and handed it to me.

"I got this for you," she told me as I peeled the wrapping paper away, "because I thought it might help us."

Inside was a leather journal, larger than most I'd ever seen on a store shelf. I gave her a quizzical look.

"I'm hoping," she said tentatively, not wanting to spoil our night. "That when I'm - away - you can write your feelings in here and we can talk about them when I return. I don't have a clue how much it will help but I need to know how you're feeling and what you're thinking so I can stay attuned. I want to be able to keep our communication open. I'll always tell you anything you want to know. I love you!"

The tears formed in my eyes then. So many things could have triggered them, but I knew we were in a fucked situation and there was nothing I could do about it. Even in my hopelessness, I prayed we would survive what was to come.

The following day, we went to the spa she'd booked after breakfast and later we just mindlessly played the slot machines. It was a welcome distraction as I thought about the inevitable upcoming 'business' trip.

The three days after our return home were somber and unobtrusive. We were both lost in our shared nightmare. I could tell that Jack's warning to Katie weighed heavily on her mind. She wasn't a man nor did she fully understand a man's pride and ego, which is to say, his self-respect, but I could tell she wondered how I might fare under the pressure.

Three days later, I was driving her to the airport. Jack had at least kept one small promise by not picking her up. Maybe he was only playing it close to the vest in case I'd come up with something they hadn't considered like when I hacked their system to get a job.

"I love you, Andy," this time it was solemn. "Please try to stay busy and put your worries out of your mind. Use your journal. I'll call you every chance I get, including New Year's Eve. I know we are finalizing the new combined executive committee with McMillin but that's all I know."

I told her I loved her too. We cried a bit, forced a few smiles, and put on our brave faces. Then she was gone and I had absolutely no idea how I was going to cope.