Pantry

"And if you are inside the castle Mike and I can protect our girlfriends," Jan said.

"Mike? Are you fit enough?" Tracy asked. Anna answered for me.

"He is -- now."

Tracy jumped as her phone beeped for an incoming text.

"It works! In here?" She looked at the text.

"Emily, one of my friends, thinks the naked rave will be Friday night, here. She's not sure but that's the rumour. Although it's a rumour, the person who told her is almost certain that it is true. She's warning me to keep well away from it."

"If it is to be here," Jan said, "we ought to make it more difficult for them. Paul? Can we get some of that potassium permanganate? Apart from the sprinkler system we could use the pressure washers. They have a twenty metre range, haven't they?"

"Yes possibly. Fifteen metres would be more realistic. Are you thinking of the static water tank, Jan?"

"No. But that would be good. But before that we need to make the farm accesses more difficult for larger vehicles, Paul. Anna? There's some old farm equipment in the storage barn, isn't there? Could we use it to reduce the width of the access track, and block some field gates?"

"Of course, Paul. Use whatever it takes. I don't want the farm wrecked by a rave."

"Can I help?" I asked.

"Can you drive a tractor with attached equipment?" Jan asked.

"No, I can't," I replied.

"But what you could do, Mike, is get some of the pot perm into the static water tank and the moat," Petra said. "That would only need a wheelbarrow. I can help. Anna and Tracy ought to stay inside here just in case."

"But..." Anna said.

"Anna, we need to prevent the rave," I said. "We can't do that if we're trying to protect you out in the open."

"Yes, Mike," Anna said in mock submissive voice. "We two defenceless females will get an evening meal ready for our heroic defenders including the doughty grandmother."

Petra laughed.

"I don't think what Mike and I will be doing could be called dangerous. But Mike's right. If you and Tracy stay in the castle you'll be safe."

"OK. As well as cooking we need to make up a bed for Jan and Tracy." Anna said. "Will one of the downstairs rooms in the farmhouse do, Tracy?"

"Of course, and thank you," Tracy replied.

Petra and I had underestimated the work of moving the potassium permanganate. The sacks were heavy to lift up the side of the wartime static water tank which was inside the curtain wall. By the time we had finished the tank we moved on to the moat. Both the tank and the moat that would feed the sprinkler system were bright purple.

As we worked we could see Jan and Paul moving ancient farm machinery with the tractors. Despite their use of WD40 there were some loud screeching sounds as wheels that hadn't turned in years were dragged across the farm. When they had finished, except for the main entrance track all the field gates had been blocked with ancient lumps of miscellaneous ironmongery. The main entrance track now had a chicane that would be passable with a car or small truck, but not a larger vehicle.

I heard them start up a petrol engine. It ran noisily for about thirty seconds.

"Mike?" Jan was calling me from the other side of the curtain wall. I climbed up to the wall walk.

"We've found a trailer fire pump. It works and would be a greater deterrent than pressure washers. But we'll have to lift it over the wall. Can you show us where on the wall we could lift it? We need a clear space near the water tank."

I walked about twenty feet to my left.

"Here," I said. "The water tank is ten feet to my right." I pointed so there was no confusion between my right and his.

"OK, Mike. Can you stay there, please? We'll bring the pump as close as we can."

"What about the moat?" I asked. "How can you get it across the moat?"

"No problem. The moat is very narrow here. I don't know why but Anna's uncle had a massive extending crane. It's ancient and probably not roadworthy, or even safe to use, but we can try."

Jan went back into the storage barn. There was a roar as a diesel engine started. He was right. The crane lorry appeared through the barn doors. It was a close fit. He and Paul attached lifting strops around the trailer pump before lifting it about three feet off the ground. Jan drove the crane close to the edge of the moat opposite me.

He and Paul lowered the crane's supporting jacks onto heavy wooden blocks before raising the jib and extending it. The trailer pump swung as it was lifted across the moat and above the wall. I had to scuttle sideways to avoid it.

"Is that clear, Mike?" Paul shouted over the noise of the crane's ancient engine. "Could we lower it now?"

"Yes, if it goes straight down," I shouted back.

We arranged for me to signal to lower and when to stop. I was nervous. It might be a small pump but it probably weighed close to a ton. Jan knew what he was doing. The pump touched the ground gently before he lowered it the last few inches. I scrambled down to unfasten the lifting strops. I went back to the wall walk and directed the lifting of the empty strops.

A quarter of an hour later the crane was back in the depths of the storage barn. The doors were shut and a wreck of a steam roller was blocking them. The doors opened inwards but no equipment could be driven out without removing the steam roller. I assumed Jan and Paul knew what they were doing.

When we were all back in the kitchen Anna announced that my sister Helen would be joining us for dinner in the great hall, as would all the Polish farm workers.

Helen had spoken to the reporter Charlotte, relaying Tracy's message about Wayne, Dean and the rave. Charlotte had told Helen that she had heard the rave called 'Naked Assault on the Castle' and those attending were being asked to bring long ladders if they could.

That sounded ominous. We couldn't defend a large perimeter with fewer than a dozen people. In places the moat could be easily bridged by a longish ladder and there was a flat area on the inner side of the moat. Two ladders would be enough to cross the moat and scale the wall. The inner bailey wall has great gaps in it and is not an obstacle. The keep is now a Victorian farmhouse. The metal shutters could be opened in seconds. They were designed to keep weather out, not people.

When Helen arrived she went into a secretive huddle with Anna and Tracy. After a short conversation they all started frantically texting with their mobile phones. I was slightly concerned that my mobile signal extender wouldn't handle so much simultaneous traffic. Apparently it could including multiple incoming texts. During a break from reading and sending messages Anna spoke to all of us.

"Helen had an idea," Anna said. "We haven't got enough people to defend the castle wall so why not get help? She thought of the local Viking re-enactment group and rang Ian, their Treasurer. Their Chieftain is away today but Ian contacted him by email and got a reply. They agreed to help defend the castle walls tomorrow night and are arranging details. They're not coming as Vikings because their weaponry would be very dangerous except in scripted encounters. They are bringing pump-up water pistols that they used to repel a landing by boat as a comedy version of their re-enactment. So far about twenty are coming which is great for twenty minutes after Ian sent the text messages asking for help."

Helen interrupted her with a whispered question.

"In the field beside the farm workers' houses, Helen. I'll get that gate open tomorrow afternoon. They'll enter through the packing shed door. OK?"

Helen relayed that message to the caller, and then repeated it by text. When that message had been sent Helen had a question for me.

"Mike? Can we transmit the CCTV to a website?" Helen asked, "and if so, how many channels?"

"A website? Yes. I could. I have a couple of unused websites with vanilla names. It would be easier if the server was here. I can install that tomorrow. But why?"

"Charlotte thinks it would be useful if we could show her, and the Police, and anyone else what is actually happening when the rave starts. If we have a live link to a website you could give her the password, and the Police as well so they know what we are facing."

"We have more than enough quality phone lines," I replied, "and I can duplicate the feed on a mainframe server. It might cost me a few pounds for 24 hours of cover but is affordable."

"Please set it up, Mike," Anna interrupted. "I'm worried. Twenty Vikings with water pistols won't be enough to hold back hundreds of people if they all try to scale the walls. If we can buy time? The police might get here before we are overrun. If people get inside the walls I'm worried that the Vikings might over-react. Helen? What was the casualty list for the Vikings' last event?"

"That one, Anna? I think it was eight broken limbs and a couple of severe concussions." Helen replied.

"And that was a scripted and planned event," Anna said. "Drunk or drugged naked ravers won't follow the script and if any Viking were to get hurt they would react badly. They believe their own fantasy. They might leave their swords and spears behind but they are capable of hurling people into the moat."

"Anna?" I had just remembered. "Shouldn't you warn your father? He's coming here tomorrow evening with his group."

"Shit! Yes. I should." Anna went into the pantry with her mobile.

She returned laughing.

"Dad said that the meeting is to discuss what to do about the raves. If it is to be here, he and his group should be here to see it."

We couldn't do much more that evening. We sat down to a meal in the great hall with the screen lowered and the CCTV showing -- nothing except an empty farm.

Jan went off with the Polish women to the farm workers houses. He returned with a small suitcase of clothes. My sister Helen went to her flat. She has to work on Friday but will be with us that evening.

Jan and Tracy went to the room on the ground floor of the farmhouse. Anna and I went upstairs together.

Side by side in bed we talked for some time until we heard squeals from downstairs.

"Was Tracy always that noisy?" Anna asked.

"If she was getting what she wanted," I replied.

"It seems she is. And I want it too. Don't just..."

I kissed Anna to stop her sentence. I kissed her neck, her naked breasts, her nipples and moved down between her legs. I kissed, licked, tongued and nibbled until she too was squealing. Anna wasn't as loud as Tracy but was enjoying my attention.

An hour later I went to sleep with a satisfied Anna gently snoring against my shoulder.

+++

I went home after breakfast to collect the hardware I would need to set up the website server. I rang the mainframe company to arrange duplication of that website on their servers from 12 noon for twenty-four hours.

Anna and Tracy had been filling the refrigerator with sandwiches for the expected Vikings. Warriors need feeding.

Back in the castle tower I worked hard for a couple of hours. Shortly before noon I had wired and tested everything and uploaded the software. I checked on my laptop in the kitchen. The website was operational and so was the duplicate. I was ready to feed the live transmission so I did.

Anna kissed me after she had logged in on her laptop. She rang Charlotte and gave her the password. Charlotte checked too. She could see the feeds from all the cameras and switch from one to another or have a screen showing all of them.

In the afternoon Jan brought some pump-up water pistols he had bought in a toy supermarket. He had found a couple of hundred disposable gloves to protect us from the potassium permanganate. The naked ravers might get stained. We didn't want to.

+++

Jan, Paul and I tested the fire pump inside the wall and the spraying system for the non-existing fruit bushes. Anyone within range of either would be soaked and stained.

I rang D S Andrews at the Police Station to tell him that the naked rave would be tonight at Anna's farm. He noted what I told him but the Police were convinced that the rave would be on Saturday night, not tonight, and in a country park fifteen miles away. I agreed to let the Police know as soon as and if any preparations for the rave were obvious. I told him about the website and the live CCTV feed. He made a note of the password, but since he didn't think the rave would be tonight he wouldn't use it.

The Police were still looking for Wayne and Dean and had some information that they were in the Midlands, looking for one of the victims of Wayne's rape, and nowhere near us. All the victims had left their usual addresses until Wayne was recaptured.

We left it that the Police would do nothing unless and until we contacted them with news of something actually happening at Anna's farm.

+++

By seven-thirty we were getting worried. There was no sign of any preparations for an event. The kitchen and pantry were swarming with Viking warriors out of costume. Each had brought several water pistols and were filling them with water in the pantry. But there were no attackers.

Ten minutes later Petra noticed something on one of the monitors.

"Anna? Is that your father's JCB?" Petra pointed at the picture showing the lane from the main road.

Anna peered.

"It could be but JCBs are very similar. If it gets closer I'll be able to tell."

Several of us were watching the feed. I'd expanded it to fill the pantry monitor. The JCB moved beyond a blocked gate, reversed across the lane, lowered its bucket and dug through the fence and hedge.

"Damn!" Anna swore. "That is Dad's JCB and that hedge will take years to replace."

"And it means that the rave is going to be here," I said, switching the feed and pointing at the other pictures showing trucks lined up in the lane.

"I'll ring the Police," Tracy said. "How many trucks now?"

"Ten," Anna replied.

Tracy rang the Police station. D S Andrews wasn't on duty but the sergeant told her they would send a couple of police cars when they got back from the rave that wasn't happening where they thought it would.

Shortly afterwards Anna's father arrived. He was surprised to see so many people brandishing water pistols. He watched with us as the rave preparations continued. There were about thirty people working to a plan, marking out a car parking area, a cordon and payment tent, several stacks of lockers just inside the paid area, and a stage being erected.

"My bloody JCB!" He snorted. "That's tens of thousands of pounds of my equipment. I'll kill them!"

"No you won't, Dad," Anna said. "You'll get it back. The police are on their way. I'll ring Charlotte and the police so they can monitor the website."

I took Anna's father into the great hall. Jan had lowered the screen. I showed him how to work the projector and the feeds from the CCTV. He could watch everything outside in high definition.

"Mike," he said, "this is a good job, well done. I'm impressed and I think my friends will be too. I know how pathetic the CCTV was here but now? That's great."

He changed his tone.

"You're also making a good impression on Anna. She's had a hard time with Wayne and working to get this farm to make a profit. Since you've been with her this week her phone calls have been really happy."

"I love your daughter," I said, "but I haven't told her that in so many words."

"She knows you do," he retorted. "Tell her. You don't need to ask me. She's an adult woman who can stand on her own two feet -- now."

We were embarrassed by that conversation. It ended because more of his group arrived. They sat down watching the CCTV. I left them and returned to the kitchen.

Despite the crowd of people I grabbed Anna and kissed her.

"What was that for?" she asked as our lips finally parted.

"I've just told your father that I love you," I said. "and it's time I told you too. I love you, Anna."

We kissed again. I hadn't noticed Petra standing just behind me.

"Slow, aren't you, Mike?" Petra said. "You've been with her for nearly a whole week and have known her for years. But best wishes to both of you."

Petra kissed me on the cheek. My arms were holding Anna tightly.

+++

By nine o'clock the preparations outside were complete. A few people had arrived for the rave and the DJ had started playing. There was still no sign of the police. Ominously there was a growing pile of ladders on the edge of the rave area, closest to the castle walls. But they would have to come through the ground where the bush spraying system was installed. They would get soaked and stained before they reached the castle.

I had been checking the website feed in the tower and at nine thirty I had just come back down. I was surprised that only Anna, Petra and Tracy were there. Anna's father came into the kitchen.

"The Police aren't coming yet," he announced. "They have their hands full. There's a legal weekend music event a few miles away and all the local roads are jammed. They've had to close two motorway exits and are trying to sort out the mess."

"How do you know, Dad?" Anna asked.

Her father laughed.

"One of the people at my meeting is the Chief Constable. He's trying to coordinate the Police response with his mobile. He's impressed by the strength of signal in the Great Hall. Thanks, Mike."

"He'd better not ask how," I replied. "or I'm in trouble..."

"All of us are in trouble," Anna interrupted. "The DJ has been promising free drugs all night if the revellers rescue the distressed maidens in the castle. He's described Tracy and me. They look as if they are going to start the attack soon. Jan and Paul are standing by to turn on the pump for the sprinklers. The Vikings are crouching down on the wall walk. Once the sprinklers are working Jan and Paul will start the fire pump."

"The fire pump?" Anna's father asked. "I've got someone who could help with that. The local Fire Brigade commander is in the Great Hall."

"Anyone else useful?" Anna asked.

"The Council Chief Executive, the Ambulance service chief... And Lady Bowen, Chairman of the Magistrates should arrive shortly." He answered.

"Lady Bowen? I hope she's coming up the footpath, not through the event." I said.

"She should be if she got my text. You'll recognise her car. It's a 1950s Rolls-Royce."

"I'll look out for it, but if she's much later the assault will have started," I said, pointing at the monitor.

Anna's father went back into the Great Hall. A group of people came back with him before heading towards the wall walk. They were formally dressed in suits and didn't look as if they'd be much help.

The monitor showed that about a hundred naked people were picking up ladders. They started towards the castle. More were milling around behind them. We watched as the first group entered the area covered by the sprinklers. We thought Jan and Paul were waiting too long but the sprinklers started just as the first few were nearly past them. The water didn't seem to deter them. They started running towards the moat carrying the ladders.

Jan and Paul dashed past us heading for the wall.

"We forget that the pipe work was empty," Paul shouted as they ran through.

Before they could have reached it the fire pump had been started. Two suited men were crouched below the parapet holding a fire hose each. They looked as if they knew what they were doing. Anna's father was standing behind me.

"The fire chief and the local fire station commander," he explained.

A small group of naked people were heading for the wooden doors by the packing shed. I enlarged the picture.

"That's Wayne!" Anna shouted. "and Dean. What are they doing?"

They and a couple of others had crowbars. They were trying to prise the small door open. Someone shouted at them. It was Lady Bowen. Wayne dropped his crowbar and ran at her. He seemed to be trying to strip her clothing off until Lady Bowen kicked his exposed genitals. Anna was unbarring the pantry door. She grabbed the galvanised bucket, chain and handcuffs off the bench.