Paresthesia Pt. 10

I have a good night's sleep behind me. I also have a good run and a bit of a drizzly morning too. All in all, not a bad way to start a day. Just enough terrible weather outside to make the bed a bit more inviting, a good bit of movement to wake everything up, and now I have two coffees and a bag of croissant sandwiches that I am dutifully taking back to my nest by the river.

It always astonishes me how close humans are to something more primal. We put on such airs of importance, such grandiosity with our actions. And it all boils down to get food and get comfy. I have the comfy bit down. I have the food bit and it's all coming back with me so my partner can enjoy the same. She's in the comfy category really. Not sure where the run falls, but it's good for me and that's the important part.

The river's even mostly clear today. So far, at least. More clean water to wash away all the refuse and tamper down the bits that want to ignite. I don't even see the requisite trash lining the banks. There is just the natural silt stirred and carried down. Good day. A damn fine day, really. Hannah was a bit quiet when we came back and I can feel that bubbling over. But that is for later, not now. The present moment is the only moment, while the past one doesn't matter and the future one does not exist.

I pass another person on their endless journey through life awake so early in the morning. Young girl with long black hair. I raise a hand in a facsimile of a greeting and do not get one back. Fair. She is running as well. There is nothing more important than a good bit of cardio, so she has her focus. Still would appreciate one back, but it is also not mine to demand. May she hit the zone and burst through the wall. Or at least get her steps in for the day. I got mine just as I turn onto the dock that marks my home.

And to my surprise, the future moment brings an awake and alert Hannah. Mostly alert. She is trying, really. She is awake and that is a miracle. The freedom of unmoored mornings has taken her a bit too far. Sleeping isn't really a thing you can catch up on. A missed hour is gone forever. But she is trying. Haven't been late for anything, but the beauty of our current line of work is that there is usually nothing to be late for. And when there is something, it's usually around bedtime when it really starts happening. So, we are all adrift in the endless sea of time where mornings and noons and evenings are all more suggestions than anything.

"Morning, honey," I say, "Got coffee and some sandwiches from that one place. Sleep good?"

She doesn't say anything and that is a bad sign. She doesn't usually say anything, but I get a fun grunt that may or may not mean she did. There is nothing though. Nothing at all. Hannah sits on the couch, blanket over her shoulders and staring at the ceiling, eyes closed. No snoring though. Awake, I have an awake Hannah to deal with. I put my hunted prize down and sit next to her. She doesn't immediately scooch over and press into me and I think I am now in trouble.

"I kind of hate you more now," she says. There is an obvious edge of tiredness to her voice. Always takes a while for her to get going, but she is a train when she has a full head of steam. Nights come a bit easier to her than me.

"It's that thing I did at the boutique, right?" I sigh. I want my coffee. But it wouldn't seem right. She hasn't reached for hers or any of the things I brought back to show my affection. Shiny things, pretty things, and food. One to all three are the keys to anyone's heart. I certainly wouldn't turn up a bag of take away offered freely. But it's always more complicated than that.

"Look," I continue, "I wouldn't really put it up as a regret or something, but I'm sorry. It was the freedom of it. I could do it, so I did. And there weren't rules there. I mean there were, but still. No Solar, no board, no League. It was just there. And it wasn't like we were together at the time. That is something I do regret, by the way. We should have done all this so much sooner. Like teenager soon."

"But we didn't."

"We didn't. And we had our games together. And that was nice."

"But it wasn't enough."

"Yeah. And there were times when you weren't around. So, I just found it where it was. No one stopped me and I wasn't going to stop myself when the shackles were that fresh off. In all that time, I wouldn't blame you if you had something similar."

"I didn't. I mean, I did, but I don't count it. It was a work thing. I did a tour in Boston, remember? Bad season for hurricanes and they needed someone to help with disaster relief. I met Elastomer and we had a thing while I was there."

"What could he do?"

"Stretchy guy. He could stretch and bend and do fun things."

"I bet he could. That's good though. I kind of want to hear about it. All you did. Must have been a good time."

"That's the worst part. He wasn't. He could do a lot of fun things, but he never did. And he didn't want me to do my fun things. Said it was a waste of energy, which is the stupidest thing I have ever heard. Got real cagey around others in the League over there when I was around. So many rules we broke by even talking off the clock, apparently."

She sighs and shifts a bit until she is looking at me. There is no anger there in her eyes, despite the fact that she hates me. Just tired longing and conflicting thought.

"So, while you were galivanting with Violence and her whores, I was stuck in a tight costume with uptight people and being miserable. That's why I hate you."

She has such beautiful eyes. Blue, every shade fails to encompass that word. They are blue. They are the ideal of blue. And they are looking at me with an odd calm to gauge a reaction. Something alien and vast and beyond my boundary. A passerby gazing into see what is going on. They keep me here and tilt the world just by its presence, but it will all right when she wants.

"If you're feeling stifled here," I say, "then yeah, you can go. That would be devasting to me, but if you want that freedom, then you can have it. You already have it. It's not something I can take or give to you. And it makes sense. I don't know what it was like on your end. You don't talk about it and you don't have to. However it was, that's how it was. I don't need to validate any of it. So, if you want to leave and do something crazy, you can. With or without my help."

She sighs and it's ugly. Something gives in her chest and the couch shakes.

"And that's why I love you so much," she says, "Why are you so understanding? Why didn't I leave with you?"

"I don't know. But you left and found me again, eventually. And if this is about Violence and what I did, then it's not happening again. We haven't done anything together for a long, long time. We do movie nights every so often, but that's it."

"Wait, you two actually did something?"

"Very first job as Beat Down. She took me up to a roof and gave me a handy. So, if you want to find Elastomer and give him a handy, then that's fine. Now that I think about it, you probably should anyway. See how long you can pull it."

"Eww, gross. It'll turn all flat and stringy. It'll be like taffy. Long dicks only look good when they're also thick. It has to preserve the ratio."

She's smiling and that's a good sign.

"Is anything going to happen with Violence tonight." The smile turns a bit sad and I do not know why.

"No. No. That is a promise. I think we said the rule is that 'we' can sleep with other people, but together. And only if we're both comfortable with it. I'm assuming Violence is off the table, so she's off the table. She might try something, but she's been pretty good about it all. We've been working together for the past while and that night was the only thing that happened. So, no. Nothing will happen. And if something else happens, then I bring them back here and we go from there. Who knows? Deadman might be around."

"He's so old though. It'd be all wrinkly and saggy."

"But you've thought about it, right? He's really strong. That has to be good for something."

She rolls her eyes and everything's alright.

"If we're adding anyone to the list, it's Azure. Because I bet he'd be super subby and whiny and it would feel amazing to just let him have it."

"The pillow talk would be terrible though."

"I disagree. I disagree so hard. It would be amazing. All that holier than thou shit while he's stammery and whiney? Beautiful. And you can wear his coat while you fuck him. That'd be good."

She moves closer to me and everything is alright. Slowly, so slowly, trying not to startle me like I'm some sort of scared animal. I play along. I am going nowhere.

Turns out, I was wrong. I was going somewhere, but only when she tackled me and kissed me and pinned me down to the cushions before laying her head on my chest. She hums with nascent energy. She's almost purring when I run my hands down her spine.

"I still hate you," she whispers to my sternum.

"Why's that?" I say as I kiss the crown of her head.

"Because it still feels weird that we're like this. Any second I expect an alarm to go off and I'll wake up back in the League. I'll have to put on that stupid leotard and that stupid cape and fly off with the most forced smile I can manage. I hate you because you make me so scared that could happen. It all could just be a dream."

"I've been dreaming for years now," I say, "And this type of dream you don't wake up from. It just keeps getting better."

---

The bitch ate half my sandwich. All of that sorry and angst was a pure ploy to eat half my sandwich while I wasn't looking. I don't know how she did it, but she did and had the audacity to deny it. Even when I kissed her tummy and told her I could taste my food through her, all she did was laugh and deny it. She offered to feed me hers, but it was already gone. Hannah said that we could do it like I was a baby bird. I refused. She won and all was forgiven.

But now I am hungry. It is about lunchtime, so it is all acceptable but I am hungrier than should be allowed. And I have to do my rounds today before the night becomes long and dangerous. I get to go out and stretch my legs beforehand, and it all takes me to a burger place where I get a triple where a double would have been better. I blame Hannah. Mostly. Alessandra is also to blame. She told me to go there and get her a double. I figured that I should have insurance in case she steals my food too. So, a triple to sate her and me. Women are all thieving scavengers, opportunistic and greedy and I can't wait to see mine again.

Meadow Lane is nice. Too nice. I feel out of place with ripped clothes and a grease-stained bag. Good out of place. If my mere existence is such an inconvenience to the other people, then that is their problem. I have my reasons to be here and even if I didn't, then that would still break only the most fragile of constitutions. Now, if the cops get called, then things get dicey. For the most part, it all seems to settle into a vague aura of disgust that I return with warmth and affection. The man in a suit walking a very well-behaved dog does not like the fact that I pet said dog but says nothing. Good. I am uninterested in his opinion. The dog's soft huff and whine at my food is all the praise I need.

I don't really use this safe house. Partly for the atmosphere and partly for the inconvenience of the whole thing. It's just town homes. It's all just town homes with garages priced so astronomically high that it becomes almost farcical. But Doppel's vault runs deep and wide, so apparently, we have free reign of a two story with a separated garage. There is even a bit of lawn if you squint hard enough.

And on said strip of lawn is a small convertible, black as night and even shinier than the stars. More to the potin, there is a very fine ass bent over the engine of said car, wavering a bit as the body its attached to puts work into the metal. I stare for a bit. Even the highest minded of the neighbors cannot blame me. I know the guy across the way in the window is doing the same. He doesn't think I notice, but I do.

I let out a low whistle, a plain and simple catcall. Although, from what I know, I should be the one working while I say the dirty things. But still, she flips me off and that is fair. The hand itself is stained with oil and dirt and it is still beautiful in its own way.

"Is that permission to have your fries," I say, "Because I'll do it. You can't stop me."

"Evan," she huffs in the metal stains, "If you so much as even snuck one off the top, I will end you."

In addition to being sneaky trickstery thieves, women are also apparently territorial beasts with short tempers. Or at least this one is. Not quite my favorite one, but up there. Definitely up there.

"I didn't do anything to them. Don't worry. Although, if we don't hurry up, the bottom is going to fall out of this bag. Then you'll have ground fries and I don't think you want that."

She pulls away from the heated guts, oil stained and nicked. Slight cuts shine on her hand. I never noticed how scarred they were. Burns and knicks, little bits paler then darker than the rest of her. Working hands. And they are busy wiping themselves off in eager anticipation of salt and grease.

Alessandra looks good, oddly. Stained and dirty and sweaty, but still good. Stretching out the things that are supposed to be stretched out, glaring in an oddly warm way. It all just flows together in a wonderful warm package that shifts in incredulous ways. Hasn't been sleeping well, but I don't know if that's from stress, or just absorption in the work.

"One of Ben's," she says, "A guy dropped it off and asked if I could take a look for a weird knocking noise. Gave me 3k no questions just if I said yes. Tightened a belt and turned a screw."

"Is that all car problems?"

"Pretty much. We're like plumbers. It's all super simple fixes that you didn't bother to learn. Or super serious problems that require intense repairs and a doctorate. No in between. Come on. I'm starving."

She turns and walks away with a slight swagger. She isn't trying to dance for me. But she is. She can't help it. But I'm reading too much into it. Didn't want to see me and Hannah for a bit, so all she has is the space to herself.

"Before you ask," she says as she pulls the door open for me, "I'm alright. Kind of. Been keeping busy, which is the good and bad of it. Haven't heard from Mama, and I haven't reached out. I don't know how that's going to play out."

"I was going to ask if you were alright and I was going to leave it at that. Maybe if you had any plans for the future now."

"Honestly, not really. Had some ideas with the restaurant, but that's gone. College's going to be a bit harder now that I don't have a job for tuition. But I have next year at least squared away so I have time."

"I mean, there are pretty easy ways to get money."

"Evan, don't. I really don't know if I want to get back into that."

"I wasn't asking about the whole robbing thing. If Sunday's offering that for a car, it's something. I'd pay you for the bike at least. I have no idea how that thing works. It's basically magic to me."

She blows a laugh through her nose and collapses at the kitchen table. I don't like this place. Too small, too enclosed. Sure, it can all be spun as compact and modern, but if can cross my entire floor plan in two steps, then something is wrong. Alessandra likes it at least. Seems to fit her nicely. A small place to call her own, the first time living all alone. Has to be some pride in that, even if it comes from where it did. Not really decorated to either of our styles as well. Rustic farmland with worn tools, black and white photos of nothing in particular, at least there is no flowing script with flowery words.

The burger's good. The burger's real good. It looks good. It smells good. It tastes good. It even feels good to hold, nice and weighty and full. Cooled a little in the trip over, but the residual heat is enough to impart sensation. Alessandra devours hers without any attempt at civility, and it is gone too fast for her liking by the way she looks at mine. It is still mine and I still protect it with every fiber of my being. It will be hers when I so choose.

"So," she sighs, "What are you here for?"

"Can't a guy just check in on a friend?" I say. Halfway, I am halfway. I can probably bring it down to a quarter before I put it up for auction. Not the fries though. Those are all mine. Not a bounty in the world I am willing to pay for.

"Yeah, sure. But I have a feeling that this is a bit more than that."

"Maybe. Just thought I would give you an update on what we found in Solar's place."

She's interested. She's intrigued. She wants to be a good girl and toe the line, but the promise of forbidden knowledge is a lot to ignore. She makes some annoyed noise at me and the temptations I offer.

"Fine, fine. What is it? Is it juicy?"

"Kind of. Maybe. Little bit. He was embezzling money from the city. Mayor's probably in on it too. Hell, might go all the way up to the president and the secret shadow world president."

"I didn't vote for a shadow world president."

"That's what the shadow means. I don't know the full numbers, but Doppel's taking a look at it all. It's big. Like more than all of us have ever stolen combined. Including Sunday and his super long career. There's something that went on with the various lairs the good guys had. But yeah, that's the gist of it."

She smirks and shakes her head. I move over the remnants of my meal and it is hers now. I almost lose a finger with how quickly she snatches it away from me.

"Well, that's just amazing. Amazing. So, is the Hall thing still going on then? Sounds like you got your dirt."

"Sort of. Doppel says that we actually need the Hall files and that means we still go in. Ultra-Violence helped us do a thing with city hall last night and I'm helping her with the natural history museum tonight. So that's fun."

"Is she a part of you and Hannah's fun little tear through anything hot and fuckable?"

My cheeks grow hot and I take a moment to think through all that has gone on between us and it only makes the blush deepen.

"Not really. Just you. And Kieran. And Ken."

"Ken?"

"Oh, yeah. We, uh, we had a thing with Master Windstep. That was fun."

Alessandra barks out a laugh and my food disappears.

"Wow. I'm kind of jealous. That has to be something special to have someone that wants to do all that with you."

"It is. It really is. And you're special too. Just because you're not the one that has the label attached to her doesn't mean I don't care. And she cares about you too. Allie, even if all that was kind of a one off, I'm glad I met you. Hannah's glad she met you. And we're sorry that we kind of caused all this."

"Oh my god, stop. This wasn't your fault. Not really. Maybe a bit. But it would have happened. I just couldn't stay away. It's a thing. I'll talk to her. She might not get it. But I'll try. Thanks for bringing the food, by the way."

"You know, you can just leave any time y'know? You're not a prisoner. Hell, you could walk out right now. Never look back."

"I know. But I was busy working on a thing. So, I worked while you got food. That's how it always shakes out. The person out and about gets food. It's the system. And it's perfect."

She's not wrong. Whatever is more convenient.

"I also came to ask about the Hall job," I say. She sighs and moves back, hands laced behind her head.

"I'm not here to force you to do anything. We would just appreciate your help. It's not a smash and grab and take and pilfer. It's just, we need the muscle. They got bodies. We need bodies. But if this is something that will make everything worse, then no problem. You don't owe me anything. You don't owe Hannah anything. Just find your way through it and we'll be there to help in any way you want us to."