Past Imperfect

She flipped onto her stomach, telling me how she liked it. "Fuck me doggie," she said.

She spread her ass for me and I put the head of my dick to her welcoming asshole and pushed. I took it slow but I eased right in. This was no virgin asshole. I pushed, then pumped, then started banging that baby. Emma was into it too, grunting with each powerful poke, feeling no pain. She started talking dirty, which of course made me fuck her sweet ass even harder. In all my life, I never fucked harder. With her facing away from me, intimacy was gone, it was all about fucking, and I was trying to drive her ass through the mattress and onto the floor. The bed was creaking and banging the wall again and Emma was keeping the beat with her yelps. I unloaded yet again and dumped my diminished load of cum into her ass.

We held each other and talked in bed for a while after. She told me she wanted me to fuck her in the ass because we had done just about everything else, so why not? "So you like anal sex?" I asked, and she said, "I got used to it." I asked her what she meant by that. She said that in high school and college, girls didn't want to get pregnant so they had sex with other girls. And when they had sex with guys it was a lot of oral and anal if there were no condoms handy.

Eventually Emma said that she had to get going. I didn't ask her where she had to go, I thought I'd embarrassed myself enough already. She gathered up her goods and we kissed goodbye at her car in my driveway.

"Thanks, Jack," she said. "You are awesome. See you soon."

She drove off and I tried to fathom what had just happened. I'd spent hours with this young woman, we had had sex to beat the band, uncountable orgasms, but I knew nothing about her, other than her name. She knew where I lived, but I didn't even have her phone number.

----

In the days that followed she didn't call and she didn't show up at the bar. I tried to find her with no success. The school would give out no information, and since she was young and probably renting, her name never came up on any searches. I didn't want to believe that what was too good to be true was just that.

I went to the Sandcrab almost every afternoon hoping to see her. Week after week I looked for her but it was three months before I saw her at the bar again. She walked over and sat beside me. I had an awkward feeling, I think we both did, which was understandable considering what we'd done together and then there hadn't been a word since.

"Want to take a walk on the beach?" she asked. I said sure, and we headed out. Nothing was said at first, but Emma was first to speak.

"Jack, there are some things I want to tell you. Three things," she said.

"Okay," I said. "What are they?"

"Number one, I love you."

We immediately stopped walking and faced one another. This caught me completely off guard. I think I was in the beginning throes of shock. The heat of the sun tripled in a heartbeat, and my pulse raced. Although I thought she was a twenty-first century fox, smart, funny, sexy, exciting, hell, she's just a kid. I never dreamed...

Next, without thinking, I reached for her and pressed my lips against hers. She seemed receptive for a second or two and then she burst out laughing. I backed away and looked at her with a puzzled face.

"What's so funny?" I asked.

"You have no idea who I am, do you?" she said.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"You're my father, you goofball," she said. "That's the second thing I wanted to tell you."

This hit me like a tractor trailer broadsiding a Mini Cooper .

"Your father?" I mumbled. "What are you talking about?"

"I did a DNA test," she said. "I have a copy for you if you want it. You are definitely Daddy."

"DNA? What are you talking about?" I asked again, sweat burning my eyes and pouring down my face.

"Your massage. I took some of your hair. I know someone at school who arranged the test. It's irrefutable."

I was too stunned to speak.

"Do you remember taking a trip to Martinique in the year 1990?" she continued. " Staying at a place called The Paliau Dunes Resort?"

My mind raced back through time. I remembered the trip. I went with my friend Billy. I remember spending three or four drunken, rubberless nights with a petite Chinese girl.

"Dawna Lee?" I croaked.

"That would be Mom," she said. Again, I was speechless. "Don't worry, Jack," she went on, "I don't want anything from you."

"But your mother..." was all I could manage.

"She doesn't know about me looking for you or finding you. I always used to ask about my father but she couldn't tell me much because she didn't know much about you. She said your name was Jack, you were a very nice guy, were handsome and traveled with a guy named Bill. She didn't even know your last name. She said she'd given you a massage, too. She said she knows she shouldn't have had unprotected sex with you but she couldn't resist. She always said I was her reward for having known you. But she never wanted to try to find you."

"How did you?" I asked.

"Private investigator," she said. "Mom has no idea. All I knew was your first name, a general description and when you stayed there. The investigator came up with a few names, but only a couple of them were likely because of the ages. He traced you here and I enrolled in school. I found your house and watched you. I knew I'd found you as soon as I saw you up close and talked to you in the Sandcrab."

"I think I need another drink," was all I said, still sweating like a rabid dog. As we were walking back to the bar I had a terrible thought.

"Oh my god, Emma!" I blurted. "I'm a pervert! What have we done?"

She burst out laughing. "Jack, take it easy. I'm an adult, I made that decision a long time ago. I guess I've wanted to fuck you ever since I was a teenager. Mom always said nice things about you. I could tell she regretted that she had been irresponsible, but she never regretted what had happened with you because you gave her me."

I just shook my head and said, "I can't believe it."

"When I got older she told me more details about your days together. About the sex, about your body, and how good you made her feel. She told me you were large and how she had no idea how to suck cock at the time, but she sucked yours. How good it felt inside her, how good you tasted. She even told me how you two went skinny dipping and made love on the beach late one night and people were walking by every few minutes and she didn't even care. She said that on the day she left she looked around for you but couldn't find you. And she said that on the flight home she somehow knew she was going to have your baby. And she was going to keep it.

"So that's why I wanted to fuck you, Jack. For years I fantasized about fucking you because I wanted to feel everything that she had felt."

We walked in silence for a few moments and then I thought of something else.

"Emma," I said. "You mentioned that you wanted to tell me three things. You've only told me two. What's the third thing?"

"I'm pregnant," she said with a crack in her voice. I had a feeling her eyes watered behind her sunglasses.

"Oh No. You're pregnant? How..." I began, but she cut me off.

"Don't worry, Jack, it's not yours," she said. "And I know you've only been my father for a few minutes, so don't try to lecture me okay? I know I shouldn't have had unprotected sex but I just couldn't resist." She smiled at me. I asked her about the father.

"His name is James. He's a forward on the basketball team."

I started to mumble something but she cut me off again.

"He's cool. He's six feet, six. He's from Florida. And you know what? He looks a lot like you. He signed a contract to play pro ball in China. We'll be leaving in a few days."

We entered the Sandcrab and sat back down at the bar. I was too numb to order so Emma did. I kept sweating bullets despite the ceiling fans rotating directly overhead. We had one drink together and then Emma said she had to go. She said she wouldn't be seeing me for a while. When she left she gave me a sloppy kiss on my left cheek.

I kept drinking. After three or four beers I switched to rum. A few hours later I paid my tab and stumbled the four blocks home and fell into bed, drunk.

----

A loud, booming crack of lightning struck very close to home, waking me up. Hard rain pounded the metal roof of my house. The clock on the nightstand read 3:43 a.m. My sheets were soaked with perspiration. I sat up and took a sip from a cup of water.

What a crazy nightmare, I thought. To find out in the blink of an eye that I have been a father for twenty-some years and never knew it. And with a Waspy, Asian-American grandchild on the way to boot! Oh My God....

I walked to the bathroom and splashed my face with cold water. As I patted my face dry I took a close look at the lines in my forehead, my fleshy, sunburned nose, the sun spot on my right temple. I thought about how quickly one's life can change. How a chance encounter with an attractive young lady at the Sandcrab could turn it on a dime.

Damn, I have to stay out of bars!