Paul and Sue

"The secret would have eaten at you, and changed how you dealt with that person." Paul said gently. "And we both know you can't tell a lie to save your life."

"I..." Susan thought about challenging him. She took his hand instead. "That's acceptable. Fair warning, I may throw those words back at you when we talk later."

"I wouldn't have said it if it weren't true." He squeezed her hand before taking his back. "Walt and Hannah would invite us to game nights, and if you weren't available or didn't want to come, Monica would come instead and we'd play poker; after the transplant, she moved in with them. We've been online poker buddies through the pandemic, and she joined my running club last year. When you get to know her, she's a pretty awesome person."

"So, you came tonight to talk about opening up our marriage?" Susan asked.

"That was my original thought. There's a lot of stuff about open marriages on the internet; most of it seems like bullshit." Paul thought about how to parse his words. "I'd wanted to pick Monica's brain; she's been at this for twenty years. I'm pretty sure she understands the pitfalls and mistakes people make."

"Fifteen." Monica said. "I will beat you with the oversized joke dildo Walt bought me for my birthday. You know I'm not old enough to have twenty years of poly experience."

Walt stuck his head around the corner. "As hilarious as those dildo beatings would be, dinner is ready."

***

"House rule." Walt announced as he led the group into the dining room. "No discussion of politics, sex or relationships until after dinner. It's far better to talk about such things on a full stomach, and to work together in a conducive atmosphere." Walt sat them down to plates of Chicken Parmigiana and spaghetti paired with glazed carrots. As everyone sat at the dinner table, Walt put out a basket of oven-fresh garlic bread, and Monica poured glasses of a good merlot. As they finished their meal, Monica started a pot of decaf.

"I'd like to set some ground rules." Walt said, as the group moved back to the den with their coffee. "I'm going to ask that we refrain from yelling, and keep positive attitudes; please keep away from recriminations and guilt. Paul said he wanted to get a better understanding of polyamorous relationships, since Susan had brought up opening up their marriage."

"She did?" Hannah asked, coming out of her funk. She exchanged glances with Monica. "We're gonna need a bit more information here. I had to define poly for Susan less than two hours ago."

"Maybe Susan should catch us up, then?" Monica said. "No pressure, but I'm curious how this came up between you two."

"I..." Susan hesitated. Paul shrugged at her. "One of my coworkers is in an open relationship with his wife. He says it keeps their relationship fresh, and makes their time together more special." The other two women glanced at each other."

"That Bart has an open marriage is news to me." Paul said, traces of cold infusing his tone. "Are you going to tell them the rest of it?"

"Fine." Susan snapped at her husband. She turned back to Walt. "He asked me out on a date tomorrow."

"He just asked you out of the blue?" Hannah asked, sharply.

"Well, no." Susan said, slightly embarrassed. "We've been having lunch together for a while. We have a good rapport."

"Uh huh." Monica harrumphed. "And open relationships just popped up in conversation?"

"A few months ago, I may have mentioned that Paul and I are in something of a rut." Susan said, defensively. "He told me about how wonderful their marriage had been since they'd opened themselves up."

"Were." Paul said, without any emotion.

"I'm sorry?" Susan said, with a frown.

There was ice in her husband's tone. "You haven't been home enough for us to be in a rut."

"Come on Paul." Walt chided quietly. "No recriminations, no guilt, remember?"

"Sorry, Walt." Paul replied. The cold didn't leave his eyes.

Susan continued. "Bart talked about how good it is to have variety, and how much stronger he and his wife had gotten along since they'd opened up their marriage."

"Uh-huh." As Susan had continued, Walt's smile had become more passive. The other two women exchanged significant glances again. Walt took a deep breath before he replied to Susan. "Before we go too much further, I feel like it's a good idea to clarify what your friend seems to have left out. Poly and Open relationships aren't stronger by default. They're stronger because the people in them have to communicate and work on their relationships, or those relationships die. Monogamous relationships are supported pretty aggressively by the mainstream, and almost always have well defined boundaries that are a matter of tradition. Monogamous couples don't need a long, drawn-out discussion to figure out how to properly work out sleeping arrangements, or to confirm how they'll be practicing safe sex with each partner, or even define most of their basic boundaries."

"I hadn't thought about that." Susan said quietly.

"You should definitely rethink this." Hannah said, putting her coffee down. "From our interactions with Paul the last few months, it doesn't sound like you're making time for your existing relationship."

"I've just been really busy with work." Susan defended herself.

"I'm totally swamped at work. Walt has more clients than he has time available. Monica has a very high workload at this time of year." Hannah pointed out. "They're both here for me when I need them, and we can be here for our friends when they're about to make stupid decisions."

"Sweetie?" Walt said, hesitantly. "You don't have..."

"I know you're doing your counselor thing, baby. But I really do." Hannah took a deep breath. "Earlier, you cut Paul off before he got to what I'm going through. About a year ago, my partner outside our relationship had ended things with me. He went to Saint Louis when his wife took a new job there; they'd decided to have kids before they were too old to enjoy the experience. I moped for a bit. Walt and Monica were still recovering. For a few months after the operation, neither of them had the stamina to keep up with me after the... after Monica gave him her kidney and saved his life."

"I started looking around on a few websites; I was not impressed with the options." Hannah sighed. "After a few weeks I finally agreed to a date with one of the men who had contacted me. He was good looking, and he made himself out to be everything I was looking for; kind, caring, gentle. He volunteered that he was clean, no STI's, and agreed to a fresh round of tests when he heard about Walt and Monica's situation. " "One of our rules is that the person has to meet their metas before engaging in any form of intimacy." At Susan's look of confusion, Hannah stopped to explain "Sorry, that's the sexual partner or partners of our prospective lover. It's a few shades off of kitchen table polyamory, but it's worked for us so far. As a triad we also generally try to have a dinner to get to know everyone involved, too. He said his wife had lost her sex drive after a miscarriage, and begged off bringing her to meet Walt or Monica because it would be painful to talk about. Instead, he gave me a beautifully hand-written letter that she'd written me. I was pretty moved, so I broke the rules, and I never met his wife; worse, I let Walt and Monica assume I had, and that everything was good. A few dates later, and he and I had sex."

"Since the transplant, we've had to institute some new boundaries. One of the ones suggested by Walt's doctor was a firm requirement to use protection to avoid fluid transfer. After the first few times, my new lover started pushing those boundaries. He started arguing about using barriers and condoms, especially for oral. He thought that since we had both come back with clean tests, and that we didn't need to worry about protection since I was on the pill. I should have broken things off with him then. After the second time I told him off, he stopped asking to have sex without a condom. Instead, he started talking about getting me pregnant, about claiming me with his semen, never mind that we were using protection." Hannah scowled. "The first few times, it added some intensity to our sex, but it really didn't do anything for me after that, and I told him so. I've only wanted to have kids with one man, and that is Walt. He sulked for about a week, before reaching out to propose a trip to a Denton B&B over the weekend."

"That weekend, he broke one of our big boundaries; he denigrated Walt during sex, he called him less of a man after his transplant. I stopped mid-fuck, packed up and came home. After that, I decided to break things off with him. He asked to see me one last time before we ended things. I felt comfortable with doing that, but told him it wouldn't get him anywhere. He still tried to talk me out of breaking things off. When that failed, he managed to talk me into one last session at a hotel in town before we officially ended things. He claimed that the condom broke. He tried to play it off, but I told him to leave. I scheduled time to get tested, just as a precaution. "Over that time, Walt and Monica had been recovering well. They had decided to take that week to go camping and hiking near Galveston. I didn't have enough PTO accumulated, so I couldn't join them. We'd planned for me to fly down to Austin to meet them that Friday, and do touristy crap over the weekend before coming home.

"On Thursday night I got a call from my former lover's number. He wasn't on the line when I picked up. It was a woman who said she was his girlfriend, that he wasn't married, that he'd lied, and that she'd..." Hannah dissolved into tears. Walt held her close, and Monica rushed to comfort her.

"The woman claimed that she'd caught HIV from Hannah's... former partner, I guess?" Paul picked up the story after a moment. "About three months ago, I got a call from Walt and Monica. They were freaking out and racing across the state to get to her. Walt said Hannah wasn't answering her phone or responding to either of their texts. He asked me to come over to the house and make sure she was okay. I knocked; when no one answered, I checked the back windows. Hannah was on the kitchen floor, just curled up in the fetal position. I broke in and took her to the hospital. Since there wasn't any visible injury, they admitted her overnight for psychological evaluation."

"While we were there, she came out of it enough to tell the nurse who was taking blood samples that she might have been infected with a STI. Since an HIV infection can take a couple months to show up, they've had to close their relationship down to the three of them, and Hannah has been afraid of even touching Walt or Monica." Paul frowned. "Allegedly, Hannah's former partner has been tested and claimed to have a clean test. He's refused to provide test results though, and he's well connected enough to avoid the law. We never found out who the other woman was, or if this wasn't just some sick revenge scheme that her former partner came up with. They were supposed to get the results from Hannah's test today, but they found out that the lab had closed because of a power outage. Since the samples will have degraded, Hannah will have to go and get new samples taken."

"They can treat it though?" Susan asked, wide eyed. "She'd need to be on medication, but it isn't going to kill her. She'd be okay."

Paul paused. He dropped his voice a few octaves, looking at his wife. "If Hannah or you or I got HIV, it would probably be something we could treat, but we'd be on medication for the rest of our lives. For Paul, and likely for Monica, with the state of their immune systems and the medications he's on after the transplant, it would be a death sentence."

"Oh." Susan looked at the three lovers, and instinctively reached for Paul's hand. It wasn't there.

"Why don't I get desert ready?" Paul said the trio, as he walked toward the kitchen. He put his hand on Walt's shoulder and gave it a squeeze. "I got this amazing French Silk Chocolate pie from the place down the road from us; I know you guys will love it."

*** "You wouldn't know it right now, but she's one of the biggest cheerleaders for polyamory that I've ever met. This is the first successful triad I've ever been in, and honestly, I'm pretty sure it only works because of her." Monica exhaled a cloud of scented vapor. After Hannah had calmed down, and with some of the best pie in Dallas in her stomach, Monica had stepped outside to get her nicotine fix. "It's pretty much killed her to ask us to close the relationship; it's bad enough that she can't have sex with either of us until she's got the all clear."

"I thought I knew how this was supposed to play out." Susan played with her hands nervously. She'd followed Monica out to get some air. "I'm not sure how to deal with all this."

"To be fair, I'm shocked Paul hasn't kicked you out. It's what my second husband did to me."

"You were married?" Susan looked at the older woman.

"I wasn't always a forty-something unicorn." Monica smiled sadly. "I've been divorced twice; the first time because my husband decided to trade me in for a younger model after a year of swinging. The second one... well, I put Terrence in almost the same position that you're putting Paul in, though I was never stupid enough to date at work. I killed all his love and his trust in one night."

"What's a unicorn?" Susan asked.

"A young, single, bisexual woman, usually easily influenced. Predatory poly couples go looking for them for threesomes." Monica said, her smile sharpening to a grin. "If you're serious about you two opening things up, you really should learn some of the language. And you should get better at changing the subject."

"My husband has a head start on vocabulary for a lifestyle he doesn't even want." Susan muttered. She hesitated. "He loves me. Why would Paul kick me out?"

"Well, you are asking your husband to fundamentally change the rules of your relationship to keep you." Monica took a deep drag on her vape. "And you're asking that with a lover on tap, while coming off a few months where you've been in your husband's bed, but only to sleep with him in the literal sense. I'm not sure that's what Walt would call Coercive Polyamory in a counseling setting, but it's pretty close."

"Bart Hackett is not my lover." Susan said, sharply. "We've barely even kissed."

"Bart Hackett?" For a moment Monica's eyes narrowed. Then she took a deep breath, shaking her head. "Susan, I've seen this kind of bullshit before, just like Hannah has. Gods have mercy on Walt; part of his job is to help people who have fallen for these stupid lines. You're refusing to look at the situation from your husband's perspective. If tomorrow, Paul told you he was going to go on a date with one of the girls from the running club, what would you say?"

"He wouldn't." Susan was less sure of herself.

"He wouldn't have before." The older woman gestured with her vape. "Trust me Sue, you and I are not the only ones who enjoy watching your husband's cute butt when he runs. You have to know that Paul pretends not to notice when women are flirting with him. On top of that, your working hours leaves him with a huge amount of free time. What happens when your rules have changed? What happens when Walt, Hannah and I start setting him up on dates? Assuming he even needs us to."

"Why would you..." Susan gaped at Monica.

"You may not have picked up on this, but your husband has become one of my closest friends; Walt and Hannah have thought of him as family for years. Whatever you do, we're not going to leave him sitting in the dark to pine after you. He's done enough of that the last few months." Monica's smile had something of a snarl behind it now. "It won't be hard to set him up. He's cute, fit, has a good job, owns his own house, and is pretty damn reliable. There are six women I can think of off the top of my head who would be happy to pick him up on the rebound. Probably more, if he's really just looking for something physical."

They stood quietly in the dark. Monica looked through the window as Paul helped Walt wash the dishes. Their quiet conversation didn't carry through the window. Hannah watched the men from the kitchen table. Occasionally, Walt would look back at his wife and smile. "I don't know what I would do if he asked me. I don't think I would want him to go." Susan said in a small voice. "I can't lose him, Monica. What do I do? How do I fix this?"

"Start with some honesty. That's probably something you should take into account when you think about what you want your relationship to look like." Monica put the vape in her pocket. "Word of advice? You're going to need those truths with your husband a lot more in the next few weeks, or if you're lucky, months, or years. Once you break their trust, it never truly comes back. Believe me, I know. I've been crushed by both sides of that coin."

***

Paul

"I thought I asked you guys not to go full intervention." I said, glancing at Monica and Susan through the window.

"I wasn't going to." Walt passed him a wet pan to dry. "I hadn't expected Hannah to react that strongly to the line of bullshit Sue was repeating. To be fair, I hear those same lines in session all the time, so I'm a bit inured to it."

"Is she..." I didn't want to ask. There wasn't any way for Hannah to be okay right now.

Walt took a deep breath. I could see how hard it was for my friend not to sag. He put on a brave face. "Our doctor rescheduled Hannah's tests with another lab tomorrow. As to the results, well. We'll burn those bridges when we come to them."

"You know I'm here if you guys need anything. I've got the next few days off if you want me to run errands, or anything. Just say the word." "I'll take a small victory. I think that's the first time you haven't stumbled between two and three." Walt said with a small smile. "Thank you, Paul, it means a lot."

"I don't know much, but I know you three love each other." I replied quietly. "You will make it through this."

"You know more than that. Don't give up on her, dude." Walt said softly. "I've seen couples come back from so much worse than this."

"She might be able to, but I'm not sure I can." I looked out the window. Monica was headed to the back door; Susan was looking at the ground.

***

"Are you okay?" I asked Susan. We'd said our goodbyes, exchanged hugs with Monica and the Pedrotti's. She'd been unusually quiet since she'd come back inside. Her Nissan purred along, rarely breaking the speed limit.

"You haven't told me that you love me since last night." Susan said. She had her eyes on the road. "Do you?"

"It's been at least two weeks since you've actually said those words to me, Susan." I said, looking straight ahead. She was quiet for a moment.

"I do love you." She said in a small voice.

"I'm having problems believing that." I replied.

We rode in silence for a while.

"Do you still love me?" Susan asked.

"I show you I love you every day."

"What do you mean?"

I sighed again. "Before you started with XYZ, we were a team. We split the chores, we'd take turns cooking and doing laundry, and we'd work together on the maintenance projects around the house. Whenever you've been working overtime, I've taken all of that on."

"I love that you do that for me. I didn't ask you to." Her tone was neutral, neither a whine or an accusation. We pulled into our garage. She turned to me.

"You didn't have to." I turned to her. "I get that you are focusing on your career, and I'm happy to support you by picking up your share of the chores. Just like I'm happy to make sure you have a safe vehicle, clean clothes and good food to eat while you're working towards your dream. Because I love you."

"But not enough to..."