Penny's Promiscuity Ch. 11: Discovery

In my work and even in my home life, I was usually the one in charge. It was me that made decisions, me who commanded respect. In a strange, perverse way, for me to have taken such a submissive role -- on my knees and swallowing my lover's semen - had felt like an extraordinary release.

Yes, I had played the dirty submissive slut but my God, it had been exciting. Had I just discovered yet another something new about myself? Had my lover awakened a part of me that my husband had left unstirred for over twenty years?

As I pulled into the driveway my heart sank; Pete's car was still there. I knew he was on call that day and in recent months that had always meant having to go into work. I had been counting on having the house to myself to try and get my head in order; to work out a way through the mess my life had become and the new ideas that were making my head spin.

With Pete still home, that opportunity would be denied me. I would have to try and pretend all was normal when it was the last thing I felt. I pulled my car to a halt beside my husband's Porsche, took a deep breath, steeled myself then took my gym bag from the back seat and entered the house.

"Hi Penny!"

The voice from above sounded normal; cheerful even.

"Hi!" I called in return as I began to climb the stairs. "What are you doing up here?"

"Getting changed; I've been called into work again."

I wave of relief washed over me. At least I would get some time to myself to try and think.

"How was it?" Pete asked as I entered the bedroom and threw my bag into the closet.

After a real gym session I would normally go straight into the shower. I had to keep up the fiction that I had just come from a sweaty exercise class though, I realised, the lack of either sex or exertion had left me without the healthy pink tinge my complexion would normally have borne.

"Not as tough as usual," I smiled, hoping to allay any suspicions my lack of sweat might attract.

"Or you're getting fitter," he grinned. "I've always fancied you in your gym kit."

"Pete," I protested. "Don't embarrass me."

"It's true my sexy Hotwife," he said, pulling me into his arms before I could even think of resisting and kissing me on the lips.

It was our usual perfunctory kiss; sweet but routine, mouths closed, my hands in his. I made to break away and go into the bathroom but Pete frowned and instead of releasing me and going on with his business, he pulled be back into him and kissed me again.

This time when his lips touched mine, it wasn't perfunctory; this time it was a real kiss, his tongue running along my lips, parting them and diving deep into my mouth.

At first I resisted, taken by surprise at this display of sexual interest at an unusual time of day but then I yielded, opening my mouth to allow my husband's tongue to reach into the places my lover's had been less than an hour before, feeling relieved that Tony and I hadn't fucked before parting; that my body didn't smell of recent, illicit sex.

Pete's embrace lasted and lasted, his tongue working overtime in my mouth. I responded as best I could, my body pressed against his but then he broke the kiss, released my waist and stepped back half a pace.

To my horror, when he looked me in the eye there was no sign of love or lust in his expression.

"What's going on Penny?" he asked coldly.

"What do you mean?" I asked, surprised.

"Your breath reeks of semen. You taste of it too."

A cold wave washed over me. How could I have forgotten to brush my teeth after swallowing Tony's cum? It was a stupid rookie error; but then I was a stupid rookie. Shit! It was far too late to do anything about it now.

I tried to look my husband in the face but my eyes would not rise to his. Instead I heard his voice, cold and hard as his eyes burned into my head.

"You've been fucking him again behind my back, haven't you?"

The accusation was hard and very accurate.

"Pete I..." I protested weakly.

"I don't want to hear it Penny. You've been cheating again!"

***

I don't know what was worse; the guilt or the fact that for the whole of the next horrible half hour, Pete managed to contain his anger.

If he had shouted and screamed at me I could perhaps have generated some indignation and got angry myself; I could perhaps have deflected some of the responsibility that was piling up on me. But he didn't; throughout the whole terrible conversation Pete remained calm but terribly, frighteningly cold. There was no shouting, no tears, no threats, just hurt, hurt and more hurt. And it was me who had inflicted it.

I had confessed immediately; there had been no point in denying my husband's accusation; it was true and there was more he could have accused me of too.

"How many times have you fucked him in secret? Pete asked.

"Half a dozen," I told him as truthfully as I could.

"When?"

"I've not gone to the gym for a few weeks. I've been going to see him."

"On top of your fuck-dates? Three times a week?"

He was incredulous. I just nodded.

"Jesus Penny! How much cock do you need?"

"I think it's gone beyond just sex," I said quietly.

"What do you mean by that exactly?"

From his voice he was shocked. I could feel a bitterness coming into him that was uncharacteristic and very unsettling -- as if the current situation wasn't unsettling enough. But having started there was no way to avoid finishing and within a few minutes I had blurted out the truth.

Pete sat there in silence as I told him how often Tony and I had seen each other without his agreement; how I had manipulated us two overnight stays in a hotel instead of going to conferences. How we had been sleeping together three or four times a week instead of the one fuck-session Pete had believed was going on.

"You weren't at those conferences at all?" he asked in a dead-pan voice.

"I was with him. Both times."

"In his flat?"

"In a hotel."

"Pretending to be his wife?"

I nodded. In the cold light of day, what had seemed romantic and daring at the time now sounded cheap and sordid. Pete looked at me, stunned then slowly began to pace around the floor.

There was only one thing to do and that was to come clean; to tell him everything so, taking a deep breath, I told my husband about the conversation Tony and I had had in bed only a matter of days ago.

The shock must have been terrible but my amazing husband managed to remain relatively calm. His face went pink then deathly white as revelation after revelation about my betrayal was revealed.

"Are you in love with him too?" he asked when I had finally finished, his voice full of emotion.

"I suppose I am," I confessed. There was no point lying to my husband over anything now. "I'm certainly in lust with him. It's hard to tell the difference."

"Especially when you spend so much time in bed," Pete said bitterly.

I smiled wanly.

"He wants me to leave you and move in with him."

"Bastard!"

"I'm sorry, Pete."

"Do you want to? Leave me and live with him?" he asked.

"It's... complicated," I replied inadequately.

"This is a yes or no question, Penny."

"I don't know!" I pleaded, my anxiety breaking through. "I don't want to lose you and all we've built together but..."

"But you want him as well?" Pete suggested.

I nodded.

"And you don't think it's going to work the way it is now?" he asked. "Regular fucking's not good enough for you anymore?"

I tried to ignore the verbal stab but it still hurt.

"I don't know, Pete. I love you so much, honestly I do. When it all started, I promised I would stop seeing him if it ever looked like threatening our marriage and I meant it... but it all went too far before I realised and..."

"And now you're in too deep?"

"I'm so sorry. I don't know what to do!"

"Did I do something wrong?" he asked reasonably. "I thought you were getting everything you wanted."

"No, Pete. You didn't do anything wrong. It's not you, it's me!"

There! I'd said it; I had used the dreadful cliché used by every dissatisfied spouse since the dawn of time.

"That's not good enough, Penny," he said, finally beginning to get emotional. "Fuck! That bastard!"

"Pete, you can't blame Tony; or at least not put all the blame on him. We're all to blame to some extent."

"All of us? How am I to blame?" he demanded.

I could have said that the only reason I let Tony fuck me in the first place was because of the pressure Pete had put on me to find a lover. I could have said the whole thing had started because of his perverted fantasies.

But there was no point and it wasn't really true. Given what I now knew about myself, I might well have yielded to Tony's advances eventually without any pressure from my husband at all. To my shame, even then I didn't regret letting him seduce me; since that day I had enjoyed more and better sex than at any time in my life so I tried to keep blame away from the situation altogether.

Pete thought for a long time.

"It was only supposed to be sex," he said. "He was only supposed to fuck you! It wasn't supposed to wreck our marriage. We agreed, Penny. We agreed!"

"I know. I didn't plan on falling in love," I protested. "And it hasn't wrecked our marriage... yet," I added hoping it was true.

"Haven't you enjoyed all the sex?" he asked, ignoring my last words. "Isn't it enough to get so much fucking? Your cunt has never seen so much cock!"

"You know I've enjoyed it," I replied, trying to ignore the hurtful crudeness of his words. "It's been incredible. I didn't expect it to be this good but I didn't expect to get so emotionally involved either. I thought I could keep it physical. I was wrong. I thought you were enjoying all that sex too."

"I was; I still am! That's the worst part. Knowing you're being fucked so hard and so well has put a buzz in our marriage like nothing I've ever known." He laughed mirthlessly. "I assume whatever happens, you'd like that bit to continue? You don't want the sex to stop?"

"Do you?" I asked.

"To be honest, no I don't. That's assuming I'm still part of the calculation. I don't want to lose you either but we can't go on like this."

There was another pause.

"That's if I haven't lost you already."

I shrugged helplessly. There was nothing I could usefully say.

"Would he let things go back to where they used to be?" he asked, still not using Tony's name. "When he was just fucking you?"

"I don't know. I think he needs to know where he stands," I said inadequately.

"Meaning whether sex is all he's ever going to get from you?"

I nodded again. "If he thought I'd ever really leave you and live with him he'd give up on Julie. If that's never going to happen..."

"He'd maybe give her another chance?"

"Maybe. Now he's cheated on her too he's starting to feel differently."

"And you're not sure what you want?"

"I'm so sorry Pete. You've been so amazingly understanding about the whole thing; it's just got out of control. It feels like I'm at a crossroads; a watershed. It's as if I need to make the most important decision of my life and need some space to make it."

"Deciding whether to leave your husband and family and move in with your lover? If you can think of a more important decision I'd like to hear about it. It's the most important decision in my life, that's for sure!"

He was right. My chest, heart and belly all ached with the strength of my emotions.

"I know what I should do... but it's so hard!"

He thought for a while, perched on the edge of the table.

"Could you stop seeing him? Be honest Penny; could you still do it? Or is it too late?"

The question made me think hard.

"If you really wanted me to then yes I could," I eventually replied but there was hesitation in my voice.

"But you'd probably feel bitter towards me afterwards," he said with remarkable perception. I nodded. "And that bitterness in itself might damage what little of our marriage was left?"

I nodded again.

"But if we did split up and I moved in with him it would probably destroy my relationship with our kids as well as with you," I added, tears running down my cheeks.

"So what do you want to do?" he asked calmly but with tension in his voice.

"I don't know," I cried, tears running down my cheeks.

"Well I'll tell you what we're going to do, shall I?"

I turned suddenly to look at him. His voice was firm, strong and decisive.

"Wh... what?" I asked anxiously.

"We're going to have a break from each other, Penny."

"What are you saying?" I asked. Had I just heard my marriage ending?

"I think we need to spend some time apart. Whatever you need, I need to get a bit of perspective on all this," he continued.

"You don't love me anymore?" I asked, feeling the blood drain from my wretched face and chest.

"I do love you Penny but I'm not sure I trust you. I need some space."

"Space for what?"

"Space to... to work a few things out."

"You want us to split up?"

"No! At least not yet," he replied cruelly.

There was a long pause. I could think of nothing to say that wouldn't make things worse.

"How long do you mean?" I stammered, reality forcing its presence on me hard.

"I don't know. Maybe days, maybe longer but I need to put a bit of distance between us."

"Pete please..."

"I think we both have big decisions to make, don't you?" Pete continued. "As I see it you have three choices. Do you want to give up your lover and our new lifestyle up and become a bitter, sexually frustrated wife for the rest of your life?

"Or do you want to leave me, run off with him and end up an angry divorcee who can't see her children?

"Or do you want to do what we agreed you would do? Keep on being Penny the Hotwife, getting fucked by other men but coming home to me afterwards?"

At that moment I could see only those three options too. But Pete hadn't finished.

"But remember I get a say in this decision too. While you're deciding which Penny you want to be, I'll be deciding if I can continue to be married to any of them."

Oh my God! He was really contemplating leaving me!

"Now I have to go to work. Don't bother calling me. I'll be very busy!"

With that, Pete left the room. I moment later I heard the front door closing and the roar of his Porsche in the driveway.

I felt more alone than at any time in my life.