Phoenix Rising

Not having had that intimacy for the past five years had been hard. I'd convinced myself after the first year that I didn't need it to feel whole. But now that I'd had a glimpse of it again...I knew that I had been wrong. I craved it now. Wanted more. But I fought with the shame that I shouldn't be feeling like this with Will.

I told myself that it wasn't him specifically. It was the fact that any man was innocently touching me. And that helped me sleep at night.

###

Five weeks after my accident, we were into the new year. Winter had made itself evident that it was staying. And with it, the season of the viruses.

I don' t know if it was the flu or what, but I woke up one night puking my guts out. Which wasn't good news when I was on my back surrounded by pillows in a recliner, unable to get up quickly to move to the bathroom. I called to Will between gagging and trying to raise the chair at the same time. The light turned on just as I got to my feet.

Will snapped into doctor mode. He had me up and into the wheelchair, mindless of the fact that my shirt and sling were a mess. We made a detour through the kitchen. A moment later, I had a stock pot in my lap, and then we were on the way to the bathroom where he parked me by the shower. He set the pot in the bathroom sink and helped me stand, leaning me over it right before I lost it again. Then he pulled my hair back with one hand and rubbed my back with the other.

Everything from my feet to my neck hurt by the time I had finished dry heaving.

Will surprised me by helping me into the shower chair then carefully stripping me from the soiled sling and my top. I hadn't worn a bra since before my cast had been put on, so there I was in all my glory. Well, half of it. But he didn't say a word as he moved the pot out of the sink and ran the tap.

The embarrassment I felt from him seeing my breasts bared only intensified when he turned to me with a wetted cloth. I was speechless as he washed my face and chest. For some reason, I couldn't shut my eyes, although I wanted to. So I sat there frozen and studied the way his hair was parted. Smelled the slight musk of his cologne as he moved about under my nose. Analyzed his gentle touch that was more than clinical but also not quite intimate.

Despite feeling like I was death warmed over, my hormones took notice. All those little feelings I'd felt for two weeks seemed to culminate. Reminding me I was a woman and he was a man. That as honest as his intentions were to just do his job, he'd awakened something that had been dormant in me for too long.

He was a kid. I was just lonely. I kept telling myself that. But I was doubting my rational more and more.

The confusion of my feelings and the lightheadedness I felt from throwing up made it impossible to think straight. He dried me off. Helped me into a clean T-shirt. Supported me at the sink so I could brush my teeth. Then he wheeled me back into the den. There, he paused and seemed to take in the status of the chair before turning me around and returning to my bedroom. That first day, he'd stripped the bed down to the fitted sheet to allow for the smoothest surface to do the exercises on. He went to work making my bed again and piling pillows in various places for support.

When he helped me stand from the chair and sit on the edge of the bed, I tightened my right arm around his neck. I fought tears as I thanked him. He held me for a moment and then helped me lie down so my left side was toward the inside of the bed. The cushioning for my leg and arm secure, he tucked the sheet and blanket around me.

My eyelids fought to stay open while I watched him return to the bathroom. I could hear him cleaning up in there. Going through the cabinets. When he came back into my room, my eyes were closed. But I heard him say he'd found a basin and had set it on my nightstand in case I needed it in the night. He was going to go clean up the recliner, and then he'd be back to check on me.

The next time I opened my eyes, I had forgotten where I was for a minute. The alarm clock said it had been a couple of hours since I'd gotten sick. By instinct, I started to roll onto my left side and realized I couldn't. I whimpered when I remembered why. Strange as it may seem, I longed for the recliner where I'd felt secure.

I was drifting off again when I heard soft snoring. That's when I noticed the figure in the corner where I had an easy chair. Will. The poor thing had stayed in here with me.

It was hard to fall asleep after that. Even more so when my mind started running through how well he took care of me. Which made me feel guilty again for letting him do this for free. Surely, cleaning up an old lady's puke had not been what he'd signed on for when he went to college to be a physical therapist. And even though he'd worked at the nursing home part-time, it had not been in this capacity, either.

I had to find a way to thank him for all he was doing for me.

###

All through the next two days, I remained in bed. I hadn't thrown up again, but Will said it was just a precaution. He made sure I had enough fluids and only let me eat saltine crackers and broth. I could hear him moving about the house. Once, when he checked on me, he admitted that he was sterilizing everything for me. What a guy.

I slept a lot, but it didn't ease the achiness I still felt throughout my entire body that third evening when Trina stopped by. She said we had an offer on the house for the exact asking price from a buyer who had previously lived in that neighborhood. I had hoped to get some higher ones in—maybe get the chance to see the finished product firsthand—but there had only been two low offers. Trina thought we should accept. We would still make a good profit, and we might not get the opportunity again. I reluctantly agreed and praised her on how well she'd taken the reins in my absence.

That evening while I was unsuccessfully trying to read a book, Will was sitting in the chair again, doing something on his cell phone. My eyelids just felt so heavy. I gave up after only a short while. I have some recollection that he came over to my side of the bed and helped me lie down. I think he brushed my hair out of my eyes, but I was probably dreaming it.

Will wasn't in the chair when I woke. It was still dark, and I figured he had gone back to the guestroom. He surprised me when he asked out of direction of the bathroom, "Are you awake, Meg?"

I turned my head toward his voice. Saw part of his silhouette in the shadows. The brightness of his eyes. I suddenly felt a weight in my throat and whispered, "Yeah."

"Are you feeling any better?"

"Achy, but that's it. Whatever it was seems to be gone."

"Any trouble sleeping? I don't want you to get insomnia."

"I don't think there's any worry about that. I seem to have no problem dropping off when I think I'm wide awake."

He laughed at that. "Do you mind if I check your vitals since you're up? I forgot to do it this morning. Our routine is off."

"No, I don't mind at all." I reached out and snapped on the lamp on my side of the bed.

He was in a T-shirt and shorts, just like me. Not his usual jeans and varying polo shirt he usually wore. Then again, I hadn't really been in the same room with him before when he'd slept. I couldn't remember what he'd been wearing the night when I'd gotten sick, but he had been in his typical clothes ever since.

We were both silent while he helped me sit up then checked my temperature, pulse, and blood pressure. When he recorded my stats in the little book he always carried around. Though, he did mumble I didn't have a fever anymore.

He'd had his back to me while writing in the book. When he set the book down but didn't move away from my dresser, I grew concerned. Even though I couldn't see his face in the mirror, his head seemed to be tilted down.

"Is something wrong?"

He didn't say anything for a minute. Then I heard a deep sigh. "I need to apologize."

I tried to think of anything he'd said or done that would explain his comment. When my mind came up blank, I asked, "Whatever for?"

"For the other night."

"Because you fell asleep in my chair? I don't mind. Really."

"No, not that."

Like that explained anything. "Will? You're going to have to be a little more specific."

He turned to me then, his eyes downcast. His mouth twisted in that worried way Trina used when she had bad news. "I should have asked you if it was okay to take your top off. To wash you like that. I'm so sorry if I embarrassed you. That wasn't my int—"

"Come here." When he hesitated, I sighed and patted the edge of the bed. "It's okay."

He approached this time but remained standing.

"Sit, please. It will make me more comfortable."

He nodded and obeyed, his hands in his lap.

"You did nothing wrong, Will. I called to you for help, and you helped me. I was in no shape to get cleaned up myself. Please, don't beat yourself up over it. You were doing what needed to be done in an emergency situation. I can't hold that against you. Okay?"

"It's just...well..." He looked away from me.

I gently turned his chin back. "Don't be afraid. You can tell me any—"

"I liked it. Okay?"

I dropped my hand and stared at him for a minute. He liked that I had been sick? Or that he could help me?

He looked up towards the ceiling and sighed. Almost as though he was waiting for me to figure out the obvious.

When I did, I gasped loudly. Oh, my God! He liked touching me!

"See? That's why I apologized!" He jumped to his feet.

I tried to grab his hand but missed. "I think we should talk about this."

Will stopped at the bathroom door, his back to me again. "I understand if you want to get someone else to help you."

"No. I don't need to get someone else." I waited until he turned his gaze to me before I whispered, "I have my own confession to make. I liked it, too."

His eyes grew wide. His jaw dropped.

"Honey, you're incredibly handsome. You're young and virile. Any woman would be an idiot to not want to hang out with you. Like being touched by you."

"Then all the girls my age must be idiots." Will looked down again and shrugged. "Not that I would know all that stuff. I...um...well..."

"It's okay. I understand." I smiled softly, remembering that Mack had recently told me Will hadn't really dated much. He'd been more interested in getting through school. It was actually endearing. "Let me put it this way. I'm going to be fifty-seven this year. I have been widowed for five years. I've never had anyone except my husband touch me. The way that you take care of me—even with the purest of intentions—it's arousing at times. Maybe because I've been alone for so long. I don't know."

"Mrs.—" He stopped himself and cleared his throat. "Meg, since we're being open right now, can I tell you something personal?"

I stifled a laugh. I thought that's what we had been doing. I nodded though.

"Grandpa has spoken so highly of you for as long as I can remember. How you've always paved your own way, regardless of what society says is the norm. That your work ethic is something hard to come by these days. The way you've renovated this town over the years? It speaks to your true character. I've always admired all of that that about you. And then there was your resilience after the fire. Anybody else would have moved away. But you stayed. You continued to make our community better."

Who was this boy? Just a minute ago, he'd shown his youth with his shyness...the struggle to articulate what had been on his mind. And then he'd reverted to the schooled man once again who'd taken control of rehabilitating me these past few weeks.

I struggled to come up with an eloquent response. But before I could think of one, he continued.

Will's eyes were bright as he stepped closer. "Every time my grandparents or mom asked me why I didn't date, I told them the same answer. I just hadn't found a girl like you. But now, I'm beginning to realize, maybe that's because there isn't anyone else like you, Meg. You're it. The one."

And I thought I'd been speechless before! After a couple of thick swallows, the only thing that came out of my mouth was, "But I'm going to be fifty-seven."

He shook his head and sat down beside me again. "You think I'm a normal twenty-four-year-old? Look at me! I'm investing in my own practice in a few months. Everyone else my age who is in some field of medicine is enrolled in their first year of med school. It'll be another three or four years minimum before they're starting their careers...if they even stick it out that long. The rest of them, they're thinking about which club to hit for the weekend. If they're going to get laid afterwards. They're not concerned about settling down. Finding the true love of their life. Hell, if they do get married soon, half of them will be divorced in a couple of years. But that's their life. Not mine. I want more. I want...you."

"Will..."

"Is it because I'm a virgin?"

"Now stop it. I never said—"

"You could teach me. Everyone has to start at some point." He had clasped my right hand in both of his, squeezing gently as he talked. But he suddenly moved his right hand to my face. He brushed my hair behind my ear, tilting his head to the side. "We don't know if we don't try."

All rationality flew out the window at the look in his eyes. The touch of his fingers lingering by my ear. I didn't stop him when he leaned forward and gently touched his lips to mine. I forgot about the wrongness of what we were doing. I just gave into what my body was craving.

His mouth brushed back and forth. When he pulled back slightly and licked his lips, his tongue touched mine lips.

I moaned softly and then sighed at the feeling of his hand behind my neck, supporting me as he kissed me harder. This kid didn't need to be taught anything, as far as I could tell. He was a natural. Maybe he'd watched a lot of movies or videos. Done a lot of research on to how to seduce a woman. I didn't care. I just didn't want him to stop kissing me.

Will scooted closer to me, releasing my hand now. Both of his were holding my head, tilting it. His fingers buried in my hair.

My hand free, I was able to touch his arm. Caress his cheek and forehead. Massage the back of his neck and feel his hair sliding through my fingers. All while he tenderly teased me with his lips and tongue.

After a while, he dropped his right hand to my chest. Hesitantly at first and then with more courage, he fondled my breast through the fabric of my T-Shirt. Found my puckered nipple and teased it.

I hadn't asked him to, but he released me and yanked his T-shirt over his head, tossing it aside. I read him with my fingertips then, my eyes closing from his kisses once he resumed. My hand ran over the defined planes of his pecs and abs. The constricted muscles in his left arm. Felt the tension in him as he fulfilled one of many wishes that had recently formed in my brain.

He pulled back and kissed my nose, his thumb grazing over the rise of my cheekbone.

I gasped for breath, licking my lips. "Huh. I think you passed Kissing 101."

Will chuckled. "I said I've never had sex. Not that I've never kissed a girl. Or done other things."

I raised an eyebrow, challenging him.

His right hand slid down my side and tugged at the hem of my shirt. "May I?"

In my head, my head was nodding so fast I looked like one of those bobble-head dolls. But in reality, I probably barely tipped my chin I was so rapt with his attention. I actually whimpered a little at the slowness of his motions to take my shirt off, although I knew he needed to be careful with my arm. He even took the time to move a pillow under my cast before he returned his attention to my breast. And then I was purring while his fingers played over my chest as I had his. The only difference was, his eyes were focused on my bared chest.

His breathing grew heavier. Matching mine that made my breasts rise and fall under his gaze and touch. And then we both moaned in tandem when he lower his lips to kiss my nipple. He'd barely touched me, yet it sent shockwaves straight down between my legs. His left hand had resumed stroking the back of my neck and playing with my hair. His right now lifted each breast to his mouth.

I groaned long and deep when he lapped his tongue at the tip of my left breast and raised his eyes to mine. Then he wrapped his lips around my nipple and sucked gently. That made me suck in my breath, my fingers tightening in his hair. The more attention he gave my breast, the less I was able to keep my eyes open. I leaned my head back, giving into the sensations. This boy, he sure knew how to arouse.

My breaths grew sharper at his hand stroking my abdomen. Then he changed course by plying my right breast with tongue and teeth. It was light at first, but he increased the pressure at my moan. I just held his head against my chest and reveled in the feel of him. It was a whole new sensation, like when he'd washed me the other night. I wouldn't be opposed to him doing that again, either.

"Meg?"

My eyelids fluttered open.

"May I do more, if I'm gentle? I promise not to hurt you."

I blinked at him, trying to catch my breath. I didn't think we were quite ready for sex. Not with me in the situation I was.

As if to clarify his request, he ran his hand over my shorts between my legs, pressing lightly. It was enough to make my back arch and my nails to dig into the back of his neck.

My response came out like a snake's hiss. "Yes!"

A few more whimpers on my part and a couple of moans on his later, he had laid me on my back and removed my sweats. His eyes still on mine, he stroked me over my panties. Slid further back when I moved my right leg aside and bent it up, his thumb brushing over my covered clit.

"Will!" I wiggled under him at his teasing.

"Watch how you move like that. I'm sure your hip will twinge if you jerk too much." He ran his fingers over the tender topic of discussion.

The swelling had gone down, the bruising faded. There had been definite improvement in movement, as well, during the last week of exercises. But he was right. I needed to be careful.

"I'll give you some relief so you can relax."

He leaned in and kissed me at the same time his fingers tugged my panties aside and slipped between the lips of my pussy. We both moaned together. And then we were nuzzling each other's necks as he stroked me outside and then in.

Too soon for my preference, I was coming. Clutching him to me with my hand behind his neck. Calling his name in soft gasps. Whimpering as he pulled his hand free.

He kissed my forehead and casually caressed my breast. "How'd I do?"

"Mmm." I smiled up at him and accepted his brief kiss. "Nice. Very nice. A little tip, though. Keep stroking when I'm coming. It prolongs and makes it even better. Use your thumb on my clit more, too."

"Yes, ma'am," he chuckled.

I smacked his arm lightly, lifting my eyes to his as he pulled back. "There'll be none of that."

"I understand, Meg." He gave me a brief nod and then started to rise.

"Hey!" I grasped his hand as he stood beside the bed. "Where are you going?"

Will glanced away and cleared his throat then smiled at me. "I, um, need to clean myself up this time."

I released him only to lightly run my hand over the bulge in his pants. He groaned and pressed into my touch. I could feel the wetness from his release through the material. "I understand. Go clean up and then come back to bed. You're sleeping with me tonight."

He nodded in the dim light and disappeared into my bathroom.

I was almost asleep by the time the shower shut off and he joined me. I just murmured my thanks when he kissed me softly, shut off the light, and then laid beside me under the covers, the pillows on my left side between us.