Pick of the Patch

This story has scenes of mild domestic violence and hurtful language. If this is a trigger for you, you may want to consider skipping this story. The number of the domestic violence hotline with operators available 24 hours is:

1-800-799-SAFE (7233)

*

Simon

"Well, have you found ya' a big one yet?" My mother questioned in her Brooklyn accent. No matter how long she's lived in Upstate New York, her accent has never shown signs of waning.

"No, not yet," I whined. "You'd think after an hour and a half at this stinkin' Pumpkin Patch that I'd find her. Yet the 'perfect pumpkin' remains evasive. "

"Why does it have to be perfect, Simon? It's just a gourd you're going to cut holes in and leave to rot. I just don't get it."

While Mom continued talking, I take small measured steps, scanning the aisle for my pumpkin. As my weathered Vans crunch along the fall leaves littering the grassy field, I wrap my coat tighter around myself against the chill and press on.

"There are just so many things you could be spending your time doing besides wasting it in the cold." My mother was extremely good at reasoning. However, she just couldn't understand my obsession with wanting to find "the one." Probably because I didn't quite understand it well myself.

"I don't know, Mom. It just does. I gotta go though. I think I see a good one ahead. You're still free to judge the competition tomorrow, right?"

"Sure, sure. Is Ty gonna be there? I miss the ole' chap. I haven't seen him in a few weeks."

My Mom hasn't seen Ty in a few weeks because I kicked the douche bag out a month ago. She doesn't know that yet, though.

"No, he's busy this weekend, Mom. I've really gotta go though, my pumpkin might get taken by a handsome stranger."

My Mom chuckled and replied, "Alright, Si. I'll leave you to it. Love you, son. Good luck with the hunt."

"Thanks, Mom. Love you too."

I lied to my mother. I didn't see a good one ahead. I just couldn't keep talking about why I needed to find the perfect pumpkin. Or Ty. I knew the reason why I needed to find it so bad but I wasn't ready to talk about it yet. Admitting why would mean admitting I dumped Ty. I feel guilty about not telling her about Ty but I'm not ready to deal yet. I just know it's gonna be a big hassle and I'm not in the head space to deal with anymore big hassles for a very long time. It's also not that I'm not over him, its that I'm not over the lies and betrayal he caused me.

Earlier this month, I came home early from a work trip to find my boyfriend of eleven months hosting an illegal gambling ring in the living room of my one story ranch house.

I almost wished he were cheating instead.

When we got together, Ty told me he had a gambling problem but that he was going to meetings and had been "sober" from it for a year. It took me a while to realize he was lying through his teeth. I put up with the occasional night he would come home smelling of booze and disappointment but the last straw was the gambling party in my home while I was gone. Plus, he stole all the petty cash I had in my house at the time to set as collateral for the game. My Mom didn't know any of this though.

It felt good to kick Ty to the curb, but after that, a string of other bad luck events kept happening.

In the weeks after, my car had gotten two flat tires, I was moved from the best office at work into the worst room in the building, and I gained 5 pounds from eating instead of dealing with my problems. Ty also kept showing up at my work and home, wanting to reconcile. I sent him packing every time but he has yet to get the message.

So it's safe to say I haven't had a lot of wins in life lately. That's why I found myself at this patch, hunting down the 'perfect pumpkin'. She needed to be large, perfectly round, with no bumps or odd discoloration. This pumpkin is supposed to guarantee me my win at the annual, "Pumpkin Carve Competition" at my besties Stacy and Lauren's house tomorrow. I haven't won a single time in the last five years of our friendship, but this year I was determined to dominate. I just needed this one win.

I'm pulled from my determination by a flash of bright orange perfection out of the corner of my eye. I take in the pumpkin, with its impeccable symmetry, smooth surface, and bright coloring. I finally found her, the perfect pumpkin! In my haste to get to her, my vision disregards the entire human being making a beeline for the same pumpkin.

SMACK!

The stranger and I hit the ground on either side of the pumpkin. As I take collection of what just happened while still laying on the cold, hard ground, a hand appears in front of my face.

My mind suddenly clears as I look up into the most handsomest face that God and Cher has ever created.

Dante

I shake myself from the hit as I rise from the ground and dust myself off. The tiny human who smacked into me still lays dazed on the ground. The fact that he was able to knock me down at all is a miracle considering how actually small he is.

Quickly, I make my way over to him and offer my hand. It takes him a few moments to collect his bearings as he blinks up at me. Finally, he reaches upwards and clasps my hand while I pull his light body up.

As he comes to a full stand, I can't help but admire his graceful form. Standing below me by at least a foot, I take in his full appearance. From his light auburn hair and green eyes to his dark, tight clothing hugging his lithe form, I'm immediately enamored by him. So enamored in fact that I barely notice when he heads straight towards my pumpkin and begins to cut her off the vine.

"Um, excuse me there, sweetheart. What the hell do you think you're doing with my pumpkin?" I know I'm a pretty big guy so at times I can be intimidating. It's very likely that this is one of those times. I hover over the small man with my chest bulging and my hands clenched.

To my surprise, he rises to his full height and attempts to press his chest against mine. His height however makes this impossible and we end up standing with his head just barely grazing my pec, still in the middle of the crowded pumpkin patch.

"First of all, I'm not your sweetheart. And second of all, what do you mean "your" pumpkin, buddy?" I take a step back in utter surprise. I never thought a man this small could have so much bravado. I'd be impressed if he wasn't trying to steal my pumpkin.

"That pumpkin your about to take of the vine? I definitely saw it first. I was just about to cut her off the vine myself if you hadn't come barreling into me. You're welcome for helping you up by the way." I don't really care about this particular pumpkin, but I'll be damned if I let the little guy walk all over me.

The sassy thing in front of me scoffs and crosses his arms on his chest. It would be quite intimidating if he wasn't so innocent and young looking. Staying mad at him became harder and harder as attraction and amusement fought for first place in my emotions.

"Yeah, that's a likely story but there's no way to prove you saw it first. Who's to say we didn't see it at the same time?"

"Fair point," I conceded. "How about we just rock, paper, scissors for it? It's the fairest way to decide who gets the pumpkin."

Unsurprisingly, he scoffed again and rolled his eyes.

"What are you, twelve? Is that how you decide all your big boy decisions?"

I hid my smirk at his attitude and pressed on.

"What, are you scared you're gonna lose? Because I can just go ahead and take the pumpkin now to save you some embarrassment."

"That won't be necessary," he assured me. "Alright, we'll rock, paper, scissors. Best two out of three gets to take her. I hope you're ready, hot shot."

With that, we both held out a flat palm with our hand wrapped into a fist on top of it.

"Ready?" He questioned. At my nod, he continued. "On the count of three, then. 1, 2, 3!"

He held up paper. I held up scissors.

His face fell before morphing into a serious expression unlike any I'd ever seen. Why was someone so invested in a pumpkin?

"Okay, one more time. 1, 2, 3!"

This time he held up scissors. But I was ready for him.

"Rock beats scissors! She's mine fair and square."

Abruptly, his face crumpled and tears sprung from his eyes. Realization flooded me that maybe his determination to get the pumpkin wasn't about the pumpkin at all.

"I'm sorry, I don't mean to fall apart like this in front of a stranger. I've had a few bad weeks and I was counting on this pumpkin to give me a win. But you won fair and square. Congrats."

With that, he pulled his coat tight around his body and made to walk away. His tight ass and dejected form helped me make a quick decision. I immediately grabbed for his arm to keep him from leaving. I'd been a jerk for fighting over a dumb gourd in the first place and I was ready to make it right. For a price.

"Wait! I wasn't you to have it. I wouldn't feel right taking it when I only wanted it to mess with you."

The boy turned back around with a small, hopeful smile on his face.

"Really?" He questioned in a quiet voice.

"Really. But only if you agree to go on a date with me."

Simon

He was kidding. He had to be kidding. Right?

Moments ago when I pressed my chest against his with the most false bravado I could muster, I couldn't ignore how utterly handsome he was. Even if he was trying to intimidate me over a pumpkin. The man stood well over 6ft with dark, closely shaven hair and light brown skin. He had the most gorgeous piercing hazel eyes and a very neat beard.

Pulling myself out of the beauty of the stranger, I turned my bravado back on and turned to face him fully.

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me. Go on a date with me and I'll give you the pumpkin. I've never seen a little guy such as yourself face down a big guy like me just to win a dumb vegetable."

"Okay first of all, pumpkins are not vegetables. They're consider fruits because they contain seeds. And second of all, I don't even know you! I don't even know your name! How can I go on a date with you when your a total stranger?"

The stranger in question offered his hand and smiled.

"My name is Dante Fuentes. I'm a 31 year old Sagittarius from Queens. By day I manage a motorcycle repair garage, by night I cuddle with my dog, Peaches and watch Netflix. I eat Sunday dinner every week with my Gran and I can't stand people who don't tip at restaurants. Now you know me. Can we please go on our date now? It's cold as hell out here."

I'm stunned speechless. Dante is one charming motherfucker. Against my will, I find myself smiling but quickly wipe it off my face.

"You're very funny, Dante, but don't think you have me bewitched just yet. I'm not convinced I know who you really are."

Dante considers this for a moment and then pulls out his phone. He then proceeds to call someone right in front of me, while we still stand in this fucking pumpkin patch.

"Who the hell are you calling?" I demand.

"My gran. If I can't convince you who I really am, she certainly can."

Dante

It's a risky move trusting my Gran to pull this out for me, but if I can trust anyone to talk me up, it's her. Thankfully she answers the call.

"Dante! My baby boy! How are you?"

"I'm great Gran. Listen I'm calling because I'm in a situation and I need your help. A really cute boy has refused to go out with me because he doesn't know who I am. I thought maybe you could talk to him for a minute."

My Gran dissolves into belly laughs and cries down the phone, "Dante! You're a ridiculous flirt but I'll do my best. Hand him the phone."

With all the marbles on the table, I put my trust in the hands of a 79 year old catholic who can drink sailors under the table. I've got this in the bag.

Simon receives the phone and listens to my Gran for a few minutes. His face is closed off as he considers what she says. I try to read him but he's keeping his face impassive on purpose.

Suddenly his smile splits his face as he lightly laughs and it knocks the breath out of me. He turns away from me and murmurs low into the phone so I can't hear. I start to get nervous as several minutes go by. I hear snippets of conversation every once in a while. The words, "pumpkin" and "jerk" don't make me overly optimistic about this anymore. Finally he turns back around and hands the phone to me.

Putting the phone up to my ear, I breath out a sigh and say, "Well, what happened?"

"What happened is that you're getting a spanking from me on Sunday for toying with this boy over a pumpkin! You better bring him so he can see you get your butt handed to you by a crazy old woman. Enjoy your date, Dante. Love you."

With that, she hangs up.

Simon

The fact that he had me call his Grandma to convince me to go on a date had already swayed me. But talking to the sweet and sassy Camila made me want to marry the man. She listened to how we met and told me that while Dante can be stubborn and bold, he was the strongest and must trustworthy man she had ever known.

I was fully convinced I knew Dante now.

"Well Dante, I guess you are gonna get your date after all."

Taking out a spare piece of paper and a pen from my coat, I quickly scrawled a few lines and handed it to him.

"This is the address of my friend's house and my number. Show up tomorrow at 3 o'clock and bring my pumpkin and another one for yourself. I'll see you tomorrow."

Dante stood with the cutest expression of confusion and success on his face.

"Okay, but you still haven't even told me your name."

"It's Simon. Simon Richards. Don't be late, Dante, or I'll send Camila on your ass."

With that, I spun around and walked off. I left in a hurry because I didn't want to show my hand about how excited I truly was about seeing Dante again.

---

2:55 @ Stacy's and Lauren's House

"Wow Si, that's the most adorable meet cute I've ever heard in my life."

Laughing, I reply to my best friend, "Shut up. It was not a meet cute. I just accepted the date to get my pumpkin so I can kick all both your butts today."

Lauren scoffed from her position at the stove and said, "Yeah right. If you two don't end up a couple, I'll divorce Stacy."

Stacy gasped and yelled, "Lauren! You can't bet on our marriage! Jesus Christ! Although, Si and Dante are totally end game."

I shook my head and sighed at their antics. All of us have been friends since we met our freshman year of college five years ago. Stacy and Lauren realized they were made for each other our junior year while I've had a string of bad boyfriends, one more terrible than the last. The most recent being the worst of all. Just today, I've fielded 12 of Ty's phone calls. Shaking my thoughts of Ty, I turned my mind to Dante.

"You guys haven't even meet Dante. He's sexy as all hell but his arrogance is unmatched. I don't know if we would even be good together."

"You're definitely right about my sexiness," a voice called from the front room, "but I'm willing to prove you wrong about how good together we can be. The jury is still out on my arrogance though."

With dread filling my gut, I ran into the front to see Dante standing in the open doorway with a pumpkin at his feet, another in his hand, and a bottle of wine in his other hand. His grin was almost enough to set me at ease but I didn't enjoy being overheard talking about him.

"Hello again, Simon. The door was open but I didn't know if I should walk in or not. I tried to knock but I guess you guys were too busy to hear me."

Shame painted my cheeks red and I down casted my eyes. Dante set down the items in his hands and stepped forward.

"I'm sorry you heard me talking about you. I'm just nervous about our date. I haven't had good luck when it comes to guys and I guess I'm just waiting for you to turn out like the rest of them."

Dante wrapped his arm around my back and pulled me flush against him. With his other hand he titled my face up to look into his eyes.

"You're going to be waiting a long time for me to do that, little one. Do I need to call my Gran again and have her reassure you? Because I can."

With a smile I responded, "That won't be necessary. You don't always need Camila's help to prove how good of a guy you are to me."

Dante stared at me and pressed a chaste kiss to my nose.

"Now, with greetings out of the way, I would love to meet your friends and get this party started."

With a giggle, I helped him gather his pumpkins and wine and I pulled him forward to meet my girls.

Dante

An hour later, Simon, Stacy and Lauren are wine drunk while we all have our hands down the insides of four large pumpkins.

I was nervous meeting Simon's friends since he gave me virtually no information about what to expect yesterday at the patch. Two hippie lesbians and a pumpkin carving competition was definitely no where near my expectations. Despite that, this was probably the best first date I've ever been on.

"Okay Dante, your turn. What's the funniest Halloween costume you remember dressing up in?" Stacy asked me while adding another pile of pumpkin guts to the already growing lump in the center of the kitchen table.

I smiled and replied, "One Halloween, my Gran convinced me to match with my sister. Little did I know, my sister had already picked our costumes and let's just say she had a love of the Smurfs."

"Oh no," Simon cried through a giggle. He and the girls burst into laughter as I described how my Gran painted both Angelica and I blue from head to toe.

"I didn't think it was particularly funny at the time but now my sister and I can't watch the show or see blue paint without dissolving into tears."

Simon giggled again and leaned forward to peck me on the lips. Ever since the wine came out, he's been doing that every time I speak. The crinkle between his eyes and the scrunch of his nose as he leans in for a peck fills my heart with so much warmth. I had already decided to ask him out for real after today. I don't think I could stand it if he didn't want to go out with me again.

Suddenly, Lauren stands and looks into each of our pumpkins.

"I think it's about time to start carving, bitches!"

Cheers from Stacy and Simon go up as I laugh.

"Okay everyone, grab a knife from the table and get to carving. As per our usual rules, we get a maximum of 20 minutes to carve. No stencils, no markers, and no paint. Just you and the knife. At the end, we face time Simon's Mom and she picks the winner. Everybody got it?"

At our nods she shouts, "Alright, carve!"

The next 20 minutes are some of the most intense moments of my life. I try to keep my hand steady as the image in my mind slowly comes to fruition on my pumpkin. I angle my pumpkin away from Simon. If he sees before the final reveal, all my effort will be for naught.

Finally, the time on Lauren's phone dings and we all carefully lay down our knives.

"That's it folks! No more carving. Pick up a towel and place it over your pumpkin. Stacy, you and Dante get them all lined up in a row while Simon and I FaceTime Simon's Mom."

Stacy and I got to work lining up the pumpkins as I heard the FaceTime chime. Hearing it made me realize I'm about to meet Simon's Mom for the very first time.

Simon

As I hear the FaceTime chime, I realize I still haven't told my Mom I broke up with Ty last month. Or that I have a new potential boyfriend that she's about to meet through video chat. And he doesn't know that I'm lying to my Mom about still being in a relationship.

Oh fuck.

All I can hope is that Dante doesn't do anything boyfriend like to make my Mom suspicious before I tell her about Ty. Or that my Mom mentions Ty before I can tell Dante about him. I've really made a mess of this.

Clearing all that out of my head, I remain calm and worry free as I waited for my Mom to answer.

DING*

"Well hello there, misfits! I can't believe it's time for another Pumpkin Carving Competition! Hello Stacy, Lauren and oh- who's that in the back there?"