Please Swipe Right Pt. 03

Originally this was three separate parts. I've put them together and am hoping to continue writing this story so that I can bring it to a satisfactory conclusion in the coming weeks. Thanks for your time and support.

Also, and this is so embarrassing, I've literally never given the narrator a name. Let that haunt you as you read. Because it continues to haunt me.

*****

Morning comes and Camilla is still next to me. The night before is still prominent in my mind. My arms are wrapped around her pale form and she's snuggled tight. A peace rests around her smile. I don't feel the same. I want to feel the same.

There's a vibration behind me. My phone is in the palm of my hand clicking through to Claire's text. I take a moment. I can hear John in my head. Admonishing me for not giving in to the obvious truth.

Claire... As far as I could tell had no flaws. She was the sound of ocean waves at midnight. Her presence filling a room entirely. A smile as big as planets.

It felt like I'd be waiting a life time to see her again. Even when I was with somebody else. She was the girl I was thinking about.

So it filled me with joy when she asked me to go to get coffee with her on Sunday.

I agreed readily. How could I say no?

After hitting send I wrapped my arms around Camilla once more. I breathed in her scent and smiled. We had both made each other at least a little happier. And that's worth something.

Hours later she turned to me and kissed me with a smile.

"It's not bad waking up to somebody like you." She said.

Our kiss broke after thirty seconds. She got out of bed and bent over to pick up her purple panties. I could just see her pussy lips. Images played in my head. A recollection of the night before.

Camilla left around ten in the afternoon. I had made her breakfast. Her scarcely covered body would occasionally lean into my right shoulder. It was her way of connecting with me. The other small subtleties. When she ran her fingers over the top of my right hand, up my forearm. The soft way she would scratch my back as she walked by.

The morning was mostly spent putting clothes on. But there was something I liked about it. I hadn't lived with anybody for very long. Rashana had come into my life for a nine month period. I sometimes wonder if she just used me. But this didn't feel that way. Camilla fit. In a way that Rashana hadn't.

I met her while rock climbing. We were inside the gym and I asked her about the problem set she was solving. It was a V8. I had only ever reached a V4.

When she came down from the wall she pushed her black hair away from her face. Her slim legs moved her elegantly to the edge of the mat. I pointed towards the wall.

"Maybe you could hook your foot and use the crimp for balance."

She barely looked over.

"Thanks."

I'd see her again for the next few weeks. Each time we'd make a little more chitter chatter. And each time I got to know just a little more about her.

The worst thing happening in Rashana's life at that time was her abusive ex. He had nearly taken over her life.

He made her quit her job. After which he controlled all the money she could get access to. If he didn't approve every single expenditure he would go beserk. Rashana told me how he had held her down by the throat. How she asked him to stop. How he just didn't. He didn't stop and then he fucked her.

I can't tell you why these words came out of my mouth. Can't even tell you I thought about it. The words existed before their own thought.

"Do you need somewhere else to live?"

Right away she set a boundary. We weren't dating. She was just a traveller passing through. If I tried anything funny she would leave. Her life was already complicated enough.

Those were her words but as we lived together it became apparent she couldn't practice what she preached.

She would walk around our apartment in these tight boyshorts. On days we cleaned the house, I would find myself face to face with them.

Rashan would walk around naked. Her cute breasts would hang out openly. There were times I couldn't help but stare and she said nothing.

The two of us were almost too much for my small studio. There was only a separate room for the bathroom. Otherwise we were always in sight of each other.

For the first month Rashana slept on my tiny futon. Every morning I'd hear complaints about how uncomfortable it was.

I told Rashana that if she's staying in my house for free, she shouldn't complain. That shut her up. At least verbally. Because she didn't bring it back up again.

Instead, one night, I woke up to her body. I put my hand on her hips and she didn't stop me. I pulled her close and pushed my pelvis into her butt. She protested. Turning around telling me no with angry enthusiasm.

At first she would wear full body pajamas, but overtime she wore less and less. It began with her shirt. She started wearing only a sports bra and eventually nothing. I would wake up with her nipples pushed up against the fabric of my shirt. Her head would be tucked into her body. It looked like she was trying to stay warm at night. Each night she closer.

And thankfully, more naked.

Her boyshorts were the last to go. After those were gone her ass would be pushed up against my cock. She'd only stop if she felt me get hard. Up until that point I could do almost anything. She would even let me cup her tits with my hands.

The hardest part of living so close to Rashana was the lack of space to masturbate. It started getting to me. If I did it in the shower Rashana would get impatient. The knocking would begin on the door and my hard on would be gone.

"What are you doing in there!?" Rashana said.

"Uh--I'm just--"

"Jacking off?"

It had been an entire two months since I had jacked off. Rashana had been laid off from her job and she was always home. The only chance I had was the toilet but her bowels always had the most terrible timing.

"I am actually!" The knocking stopped. I had finally shut her up.

"Open the door." Rashana said.

"What?" I replied meekly.

"Get the fuck out here."

I must have pissed of Rashana. She had told me from day one if I got weird she would leave me. masturbating in the same house as her must have made her feel weird. I had crossed that invisible line.

When I stepped out she was totally naked.

"What?" I asked.

"Shut up and get naked on your bed."

Rashana look at me from the sofa. Her legs were wide open. Her pussy was cute and pink. I was already thinking about how I wanted to run my tongue along it.

"Pull out your cock and start masturbating."

She started slowly rubbing her pussy. Our eyes were locked together. I started rubbing up and down the length of my cock. Both of us were moving our hands at about the same speed.

It all really clicked for me when she started to moan. It was small at first. Almost like she was trying to hold the good feelings inside her.

As her pleasure grew her moans and bucking became more intense. My hand had sped up. I was on my knees with just one hand rubbing the head of my cock. My hips were moving back and forth to simulate the sensations of fucking the very cunt in front of me.

Our moans were growing louder. My panting deeper and slower as I approached my climax.

Rashana had three fingers inside of her. She would periodically lick them clean. Our eyes never leaving each other. She inserted her fingers into her pussy, in and out, followed by a wink. It was enough to make me cum.

It was slow at first. My cum dripped lightly onto my comforter below. And then it shot out across my bed. I fell backwards, out of breathe. A bit of the cum spilled onto my leg.

Looking over at Rashana, she was already getting dressed.

I continued laying down. Enjoying the post orgasm tired. My hand would occasionally return to my dick. Just a quick little up and down.

We still weren't officially dating. But it felt like we were. A few times a week she would ask me if I felt the need to "Jack off."

I always said yes.

You could call me a coward. I wouldn't blame you. Rashana and I were in a relationship, but neither of us wanted to acknowledge the elephant in the room.

I was afraid to lose her. Even though I had only let her move in as a favor. As a friend. It had grown past that. Something she specifically told me she didn't want.

But she knew that I was a man with needs. Maybe she knew that was just how men are. The only way to keep them happy is to give them just a hint of sex. Once they lose interest what will keep him there?

She had started sleeping right next to me. I had my clothes on. Her ass crept closer and closer to me. Her black underwear would rub up against my cock. It was a particularly bad night. It was cold and she kept rubbing her ass Into me.

Earlier she asked if I needed to Jack off but we were interrupted by a phone call from her ex. He was still trying to win her back. She told me she never wanted to see him again. But then why did she always answer his calls right away? Why did she hide her texts from me? Was that all in my head?

Her ass wrapped around my hard cock. This time I pushed back against her. It was slow, but if she was awake she would have felt it. I started thrusting ever so slightly faster. To keep her asleep. It felt good. It was what I needed to happen earlier that day.

My hips had been pushing against her ass for the last thirty minutes. My cock was aching. It needed release but I didn't want to just hump her and cum. I wanted to fuck her.

I spoke her name. There was no response. Even as I sped up my humping she was silent.

I lifted the blanket. Throwing it aside I lowered myself and aimed my cock towards her pussy. I pulled her boyshorts down. Grabbed her by the thighs as I fucked her from behind. Her sleeping body jiggled lightly when our bodies made contact.

Besides her underwear Rashana hadn't been wearing anything. I had a view of her perfect little breasts. I wanted to grab them but worried that any additional movement would wake her up. I was already shocked that fucking her hadn't been enough to do it.

She moaned. I froze inside her. My hand resting on her thigh. After a few seconds without a new noise from her my hands slowly lifted. They had left a momentary imprint in her skin.

After waiting about a minute I resumed fucking her. She moaned again but this time I ignored it. My thrusting became more frantic. The impact of my torso against her skin made noise

If I hadn't been so close to cumming I might have slowed down. I would have been looking into Rashana's eyes as I filled her pussy with my cum.

Instead I had thrown my head back with a loud moan and Stayed inside her until my cock had gone completely soft.

I pulled out and went back to sleep. Rashana went to the bathroom and cleaned up.

The next few days she didn't act like anything weird had happened. Maybe she was right.

I took it as permission. she stopped asking me if I needed to jerk off. I would just pull her underwear off and fuck her. She wouldn't make a sound. I had started getting louder. Every successive orgasm, bolder. My hands started cupping her breasts. I would turn her over and fuck her from behind. She even started grabbing her ass as I fucked her.

I don't know when the full transition happened. Eventually we were fucking without remorse. She would deep throat my cock and swallow my cum as I face fucked her. she would let me fuck her in the ass. I could grab her by the throat and choke her. Every day I would be excited to go home and try something new.

And then it was over.

the texts and calls amounted to something. I don't know why she did it like this. She knew I'd be coming home. But I guess that didn't matter.

Rashana was fucking him on my bed. I heard her screams from outside the door. She never yelled that loud when she was with me.

I told her she had to leave. The entire time her ex had a huge smile on his face. Even as he left he wanted to hurt me just a little more.

"I hope you enjoyed being a sexless sugar daddy."

He was right about one thing.

I haven't seen her since. I don't think we have very much to say to each other.

It was easy to get in my head and blame myself for everything that happened. That if I hadn't made things weird we would still be together. She would be spending sexless day after day In my arms. We would still be watching each other cum.

Instead I had tinder. the chance to meet girls who weren't her and leave them before they could leave me.

So why did I have to go and meet Claire?

How stereotypical is it? The first girl I meet becomes the one I can't live without. But she's also the one I want to invariably avoid.

She's waiting for me in the coffee shop wearing a rainbow colored sweater that goes all the way down to her thighs. She's got shorts underneath but you can barely see them.

I can see her from my car. My hands are wrapped around the wheel and my knuckles are paper white. Why is facing her so hard? I notice There's a book in her hand. When she sees me a smile crosses her face. I can't help mirror it back. Recognition forces me out of the car and i go to meet her.

She's drinking a caramel latte. I've ordered a hot chocolate. Never been much a fan of coffee. We start talking and I can immediately feel that old connection from the beach. Claire's hand is reaching across. It's just barely brushing against my finger tips. Her eyes are floating from corner to corner Of the Coffee shop.

I don't mention to her all the girls I've been with besides her. Instead I talk about my time at work. The clients I had gathered. A promotion was coming up at work and I was feeling good about everything.

Everything except Her.

We finished our drinks and She took me to the library. told me about the books she loved. How she'd been forced to read Slaughterhouse-Five and that it had somehow morphed into one of her favorite books. Just listening to her put a smile on my face.

It was moments like these when I felt a spark. The seemingly insignificant details that made up a relationship.

The need for validation felt distant. Because even as she talked about herself I could feel she understood me. The things that I found funny. Is there any closeness more impactful than laughing at the same jokes?

When the library closed I walked her to her car and we kissed. But she didn't stick around for much longer. I watched her go.

She said she wanted to see me soon.

When I got home I noticed that feeling of emptiness. My finger was swiping on tinder again.

Swiping.

Yet another girl.

Had to have her.

Why not Claire?

It wasn't Claire who walked into my room.

Tina removed her clothes and began to suck me off.

She was the first girl who responded to me. A tight small body. She was wearing skin tight leggings and a blue shirt.

I was hardly paying her attention to her. My mind was still on Claire. What I wanted from her. Even as moans escaped me. My mind was on Claire's body. How she looked as I came inside her.

Tina was doing an admirable job. Her body was rubbing all over me. Her pussy lips were grinding against my face. My hands reached up and grabbed her ass. Engulfing my entire face in her mound.

If I squinted, just right, I could almost imagine it was Claire.

Tina didn't know any of this. All she knew was that she was giving the performance of her life and I barely gave her a smile. Barely registered when I came inside her. She was kissing my body. Cleaning my dick with her tongue.

She did everything right. But in my mind Claire was reaching for the top shelf. Her midriff was exposed. Showing her slim stomach.

Tina left and immediately unmatched.

I sent Claire a text.

"I think I'm falling in love with you."

We've all met an idiot. In this case, I am the idiot. In a moment of post-orgasm depression (who could have known that was possible?), I confessed to Claire that I was falling for her.

In not so many words I told her how I had been walking along and the ground beneath me gave way to an ocean beneath. When I came out for air, there was only her.

Claire's response was kind enough. It was expected. She said she needed to get to know me better before she would make us official.

It was fair enough. We'd only seen each other a few times. I was the one in a desperate mad rush. It seemed so contradictory. The last few weeks I had slept with girl after girl in an attempt to avoid Claire. Why had it all come to head?

Tina had given me her all but I hadn't wanted it. Didn't appreciate what she gave me. I had only had Claire once and I wanted her again. This time it wasn't the itch. The ongoing pining for orgasm. It was in my heart. When she talked and smiled to me there was an understanding.

I had felt that way with Rashana. At least for a while. Before...

The lights in the bar were loud. They strobed and danced side to side as John enjoyed a guitar solo after the songs breakdown. His hair hung in front of his face obscuring the guitar. He was playing solely from memory and the audience loved him.

Cheers rang out as he hit the final note of his solo and the drummer kicked back in with the keyboardist. The soft tones contrasted John's powerful riffs.

Claire was standing besides me swaying her hips from side to side. Her head grooved along to the music. I was looking at John, but sneaking a glance at her.

It had been a week since I had confessed my... Undying and eternal love for her that burned like the light of a thousand suns.

Maybe thats an exaggeration, but I did tell her I thought we could be something special. And the fact she was still here told me there was a part of her that agreed. At least a little.

My eyes wondered about the stage and then behind me.

From across the room.

I could swear it was her.

Rashana.

My eyes were wide and I started to stare forward. I stepped in behind Claire and wrapped my arms around her midsection. Cozing my neck on her shoulder. She reached a hand up and patted my cheek. A smile crossed my face.

I don't know if I saw Rashana. But it didn't matter. I wasn't here with her.

I stayed after the show and went back stage to visit John.

He exclaimed loudly how he was so glad to see me. We embraced and I told him what a great show he had put on.

"Thanks man! I'm working on our next album. We've got to go on tour soon. Maybe you want to join me?" John said.

"I'll have to think about it." And with much excitement I presented Claire. "This is the girl I've been telling you about." He approached her with a finger pointed at her.

"Claire? Is it really you?" John asked sarcastically. She smiled.

"It is! Has he been talking about me?"

"Only saying how wonderful you are."

Claire looked at me with a smile. She grabbed my hand and squeezed it before turning back to John.

"He only says good things about you too."

Patting me on the back, "He better. We've been friends for the better part of a decade." John and I laughed.

Walking out of the bar, by the bartender, I could see a slim girl with straightened jet black hair. She turned around, in any other circumstances I might have been able to tell for sure. she looked like Rashana. It had to be her.

Rashana had her hand on a burly man with a beard. He looked Haggard. He could kill you with a smile.

Even in all my certainty I had to let go. It wasn't good to cling to the past. To something that had been and no longer was... And yet...

We stopped for burgers and ate them while talking about the show. What we would do next weekend.

Claire had gotten a job as a web designer. Her time would be split between that and her dream of being the most fashionable person on the internet. She loved Instagram and had a following of three thousand people. Not a lot really but it was a lot more than my three hundred followers.