Poopess and the Prenup

Teah waited until the day of her husband's birthday, which was also her daughter's birthday.

The party for Teah's daughter Hannah was held in the sun room, an addition with skylights that connected to the deck behind the house.

Hance had the sunroom built for him and Teah as a place where they could spend time together during the colder months. Hance and Hannah were winter babies, both Sagittarius: brave, bold, wise beyond their years.

Teah, however, was Aquarius: frank, broad-minded, progressive. Sandwiched between two Sagittariuses, she was on the verge of mental breakdown.

Since Teah married Hance, she had held a number of part-time jobs, none of which transitioned to full-time employment. Once Teah got pregnant, going back to work was completely out of the question for her.

Hance made enough money working for the city to carry all three of them. But, there was one problem.

Lately, Teah wasn't feeling like the divine goddess she envisioned herself to be on her wedding night.

After several failures to land a legit modeling agent, Teah turned to comfort food to curve her depression.

Then, she would struggle to shed the extra pounds she had packed on while she was depressed.

She watched her dream of becoming a supermodel drifting away like a boat free of its tow line.

The $1500 allowance Teah got every month from her husband had been reduced to a mere $700.

It angered Teah that Hance dipped into the money that he promised would always be there for her use.

It was enough to make Teah scream. Motherhood was weighing down on her. She spent most of her days cramped up, bloated, bound up and constipated.

It got so bad that Teah wanted out. She needed to make money, without Hance knowing about it. She considered becoming a stripper, but she didn't want to set a bad example for Hannah.

Another issue that burned Teah up was the fact that she made scat clips with Hance, anonymous videos of her pooping, and Hance sold them online.

Teah received half of the profits, while Hance got a percentage from her online sales. Teah decided enough was enough. No more obedient housewife bullshit.

Teah wanted more. She wanted her fair share, or she would walk away from it all.

It was a sunny November afternoon at the Jones residence and the sun was warmer than usual.

Teah had on a drab gray, long sleeve, loose-fitting linen tunic dress that covered up her big butt in her black leggings, and seemed more like a plus-size moo-moo dress than an asymmetrical one-piece.

Hance had on a T-shirt and jeans with a party hat on his head. He played with the children while Teah watched from across the room, sitting by herself on the chair by the wall, sipping warm tea from her mug.

The chair she sat in was part of a six-piece patio set that she picked out, but Hance purchased.

Whenever any of the kids came over to Teah, she made an excuse to get rid of them so that she could be alone. Their laughter and cheers made Teah sick to her stomach. They were happy and she was miserable.

On top of that, Teah was trying to soften a massive stool that had her bound up for more than two days.

She was well into the first day of her period and the cramps were killing her. She shut her eyes and tried to imagine herself in her bed with the sheets over her head and the lights off. She had her black flip flops off with her feet turned inward on the carpet floor.

Teah's feet were appallingly ashy. Her off-yellow toenails appeared to be stricken with nail fungus, were overgrown and in need of clipping. She hasn't had a good pedicure in months.

Hannah came over to Teah with a present.

"Can you help me open this?"

Teah glared at her daughter, almost inhumane.

"Ask your father."

"He told me to ask you."

"Go ask your fucking father," Teah said.

Hannah lowered her eyes and walked away.

Teah was unsympathetic. Her hate wasn't really for her daughter, but Hannah didn't see it that way.

While the kids were playing in the backyard, Hance stomped into the kitchen and removed his party hat.

He found Teah at the sink and spun her around by her arm. Teah's hands were dripping with soap suds as she looked up into the angry eyes of her husband.

"Did you cuss at Hannah?" he asked.

Teah cut her eyes and turned around again.

Hance swung Teah around harder this time.

"Don't ignore me."

Teah grabbed a dish towel and moved past Hance.

"Leave me alone, Hance."

Hance grabbed up Teah and pushed her into the wall near the dock for the cordless phone.

"What is wrong with you, Teah? You're cussing at Hannah, you're acting like you don't want to be a part of her life. Now, you'd better talk to me."

Teah looked past Hance and saw Hannah standing near the patio door. Teah looked up at Hance.

"Why do you want me out of here?" Teah asked.

"What are you talking about?!"

"Why don't you just be honest and admit that you don't want me here because I'm dead weight."

Hance studied her eyes for a moment. He turned and saw Hannah standing there. He picked Hannah up and took her back outside. He gave the mother of one of Hannah's friends $100 and told her to take Hannah to her house so that Hannah could spend the night.

When Hance came back inside, Teah was gone.

But, he knew exactly where she was. He headed for the bathroom and found her on the toilet with her tunic dress gathered on her lap, leggings around her ankles.

Hance turned on the ceiling fan and leaned on the wall near the stand-up shower. Teah was sitting there, shitting rather, head down, feet apart with her flip flops near the bathtub. Hance cleared his throat.

"Can I help you?" Teah looked up at him.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" he asked.

Teah breathed out and dropped some apples into the bowl upon which she sat (shat). The stink of her bowel movement was horrid and inhumanly strong.

Or maybe it was just her attitude.

Hance figured her shit was just peeking or hanging out of her butthole. Either way, he wasn't leaving the bathroom until he got some answers from her.

"Why are you cussing at Hannah? She's a kid."

"You're right," Teah said to him. "I guess I should be cussing at you instead, since you refuse to give me what you promised I'd never got without."

"And that's that?"

Teah glared at Hance, feeling semi-soft poop clear her open anus and plop in the water.

"My allowance used to be fifteen hundred. You said that money was mine, and mine alone."

"We're parents now. I can't just give you money to blow on modeling scouts and talent searches."

"You lied to me, Hance. You promised me you'd find me work in the industry."

"I can't make an agency accept you. They have to want you. Look at you. What elite agency will hire you? You have thick Negro lips, a wide Negro nose, wooly hair Negro, and a big, fat Negro butt. These agencies want stick figures! They don't want thickness!"

Teah didn't even wipe. She got up off the toilet, pulled up her leggings and lowered her tunic dress.

"You don't believe in my dreams anymore. What the kinda husband puts his own wife down?"

"Teah, it's the truth."

Teah walked past Hance out of the bathroom.

Hance caught up to Teah in the master bedroom.

"You make it sound like I don't care," Hance said.

"You don't," Teah shouted. "My life is going down the drain and all you're thinking about is getting more contracts for the city. What about me, Hance? What about the things that I want? My goals, my dreams?"

"Being a contractor is my job," he said. "I gave you fifteen hundred dollars every month because I wanted you to be happy. But, when Hannah was born, I wasn't about you and me anymore."

"What exactly is costing you $800 a month that you have to cut into my personal money?!"

"Well, charter schools aren't cheap."

"So, send her to public school then!"

"You're a real piece of shit, Teah. You know that?"

"Excuse me?"

"Our daughter has needs, and you're angry because I spend my money on her? That monthly allowance that you got, and the little bit you're still getting, is my money! Mine! And I'll spend it however I want."

"Guess that means my cut of the profits for all of those videos you sell of me pooping for you."

"Why do you have to bring that up?" he asked.

"Because I defecate on camera for you and you cut into my royalties for that too."

"I edit the videos, post them and market them online. It doesn't happen on its own. What do you do to help? All you do is sit around here and eat. You're so fat, no modeling agency will consider you."

"You're a fucking asshole," Teah cried. "How dare you make fun of my weight!"

"And how dare you bicker with me about money that isn't even yours. Why don't you get a fucking job, Teah? All you do is eat, sleep, and shit."

"You like it when I shit," she said.

"Not when you're shoveling it, you dirty bitch."

Teah's eyes were glassy now.

"I thought I was a goddess. You said with your own mouth that I was divine! I thought you were going to worship me and carry me. You said, "Trust me."

"I also said that I didn't care about money. Sadly, you care about money more than our marriage."

Teah had forgotten he said that.

After years of being fucked by her husband and the mind-shattering orgasms that she had with him, Teah had become solely dependent on Hance for everything.

Teah still wondered if she still had some control over him. It was risky, but she couldn't go another day without benefiting from what she thought was rightfully hers. She looked Hance right in the eyes.

"Give me my fucking allowance, or I walk."

"You're going to leave us?" Hance asked.

"Hannah's coming with me," Teah said.

"You got a place for her to live?"

Teah's eyes searched the room.

"I'll stay with my mom, until I find a place."

Hance paced for a moment.

"You really going to do this, Teah?"

"You're damned right."

Hance sat on the bed, hands covering his face.

"You're breaking my heart, Teah. You know I love you. I worship you. You're the mother of my child. If you leave me, you'll drive a dagger right into my heart."

Teah suddenly felt powerful. She stood before him with her hands on her hips, like she was superior.

"You brought this on yourself, Hance."

Hance kept his head down.

"Teah, please don't do this."

"If you want me to stay here with you, then get out there and make more money." She leaned down. "Do you hear what I'm saying to you, little man? If you don't take care of me like you promised, you will never touch this pussy again. Stop being a little faggot and grow the fuck up. Your daddy and your mommy can't help you anymore. Be a fucking man, or I take you to court."

Hance sniffed and wiped his face. He looked down at her ashy, crusty toes. She wasn't sexy anymore.

Teah was nasty, mean and heartless, with no regard for her marriage or her child. The shit smell from when she didn't wipe herself made Hance sick to his stomach.

Hance slowly stood up, towering over Teah.

Teah suddenly felt powerless.

Maybe she went too far this time.

Maybe they could just have rough, make-up sex and forget all about it.

But, Hance was glaring at her now. His mind was made up. He was sick of Teah's shit. Literally.

"If you even try to take my daughter from me, I will blow your fat ass wide open. My lawyers will open a branch office in your rectum."

Teah knew she went too far, but her pride wouldn't let her stop. She nodded like she was ashamed of him.

"I should have never married you. Trifling, pathetic little rich boy who gets everything handed to him can't even honor his promise to the woman he loves."

"And you're a selfish, narcissistic shitbag with no conviction and not feelings, because you're still fucked up from your childhood. No man would even touch when they found out about your poop problem. But, I accepted you. I loved you. I made you my wife. You were my best friend. Now, you spew this hate and venom, because you didn't become a supermodel."

Teah stood there with tears running down her face.

"Yeah, this rich boy took care of you. This rich boy made sure you didn't want for anything. This rich boy put up with your shit for years."

Hance nodded his head just like Teah did.

"Not anymore, bitch. I worshipped the ground you walked on, and then you take my fucking heart and rip it out of my chest. Then, you threaten to take away my little girl. We're done. It's over. Go live with your ghetto-ass bougie mom. Both of you don't appreciate good men anyway. That's why your dad left your mom.

"I fucking hate you," Teah cried.

"Well, at least you're being honest now."

"I want a divorce," said Teah plainly.

"Teah, I just want you to be happy. So I'll give you what you want. But, you may not like the outcome."

"You're going to lose anyway," she said.

"If you take my child, I'll come after you."

"Don't threaten me," she said. "I'll call the cops."

Hance picked up the phone from the dock and held the cordless out to her.

"Here. Call them."

Teah snatched the cordless and threw it.

"Since you won't give me my allowance back, you can sleep on the couch tonight."

"I have a better idea," Hance said. "Why don't you pack your shit and get the fuck out of my house?"

Teah's mouth dropped open.

"What?" she asked.

"I want you out of here. Tonight."

"You're kicking me out of our house?!"

"This is my house, Teah! Mine! And since this rich boy can't keep his promises, you can get the fuck out of this rich boy's house and stay with your mother!"

Hance walked away.

Teah stood there like she had dropped a priceless antique. She got what he wanted. Her marriage was in ruin, but her troubles were far from over.

Teah packed her bags and went to her mother's house, telling Rhonda everything that transpired.

But, Rhonda already knew Teah started the fight.

Hance called Rhonda and asked Rhonda to let Teah use the guest room, until the divorce was final.

Rhonda's response was to comfort Hance when he started sobbing like a child. Rhonda yelled at Teah when she arrived and told her to go back to Hance and apologize. But, Teah wouldn't listen.

Teah wanted what she thought was rightfully hers and she wasn't going to stop until she got it.

Rhonda thought about the wedding she helped pay for with Hance's father. Was it all for nothing?

Teah threw away her marriage over some money?

Rhonda always knew in the back of her mind that Teah would screw up. Teah was a habitual screw up.

Rhonda also blamed herself. She often admitted to Hance that she was a terrible mother and wanted better for her daughter. Hance would tell Rhonda that Teah was grown and knew exactly what she was doing.

What Hance said didn't comfort Rhonda, but it solidified what Mrs. Jones said about Teah earlier on:

I don't like her, Hancebridge. All she's going to do is drag you down. I know girls like her...

Hance and Rhonda knew that Mrs. Jones was right.

Their first court date was set a few months after Hance had told Teah to get out. Teah was dressed in a black pants suit while Hance came in business attire.

Teah never looked in Hance's direction, though she often thought about the love they made when they were together. She wanted to take Hance into the nearest unisex restroom and let him fuck her on the sink.

Teah chose to defend herself while Hance came with his lawyer. The judge listened to both of them, and quickly came to his conclusion.

He granted Teah child support payments of $450 a week. When Teah told the judge it wasn't enough, the judge proceeded to rip Teah apart in front of everyone.

The judge pointed out that Teah walked away from her marriage over money that wasn't even hers. He reminded Tah that everything was in Hance's name: her car, the house, the rental properties. Everything.

Teah then asked for full custody of Hannah.

The judge vetoed that too.

Hance was providing shelter for little Hannah.

Teah then broke down and cried, telling the judge how Hance was a heartless person who wouldn't allow her to have a job or make her own money.

That was when Hance's attorney showed the judge the prenuptual agreement that Teah had asked for a month prior to their wedding.

The judge pointed out that Teah was not entitled to anything that Hance gave to her.

But, Teah cried and said that Hance promised her.

The judge asked for documentation and evidence that Hance was an unfit husband and that he wouldn't allow her to get a job and save her own money.

Teah couldn't produce anything to substantiate her claims, so the judge told her she had to find a job and get her own place if she wanted joint custody of Hannah. When the judge asked Teah if she read the pre-nup before she signed it, Teah declined to answer.

Teah watched on as Hance shook hands with his lawyer. She glared at the man that she once loved and thought of murdering him. She wanted to kill him, and yet she still wanted to fuck him.

Teah left the courthouse that day with nothing but hate in her heart and hard shit collected in her rectum, knowing that the latter was what she was truly full of.

When Teah got back to her mother's house, she took off her pantsuit and went straight to the bathroom.

Teah only had on her bra when she sat down on the toilet and peed dark yellow urine. Her turd started to clear her anus, but she sucked it back up when Rhonda entered and shut the door behind her.

Rhonda sat on the chair near the sink.

Teah lowered her head and groaned.

Rhonda could hear and smell the bowel movement moving out of Teah's body.

"He won, didn't he?"

The moment the turd dropped into the water, Teah burst out sobbing. Rhonda rubbed Teah's back.

"I told you to leave it alone," Rhonda said.

Teah dried her tears and wiped herself. She still had a few chunks of poop inside her, but she couldn't focus on pushing them out. She got up and flushed.

"I have to get my daughter back."

"Teah, as long as he has a full-time job and a house, he will have custody of Hannah. Why don't you just tell him you were wrong? Stop this pity shit and work it out with him. You're not officially divorced yet."

"He hurt my pride," Teah said. "I can't go back to him now! It'll make me look weak. I made Hance a promise that he would never touch my pussy again, and I intend to keep my promise, unlike him."

"You can still save your marriage."

"Ain't nuttin' to save. He had a divine goddess in his presence, and now he's going to miss out."

"You're a damned fool, Teah."

Rhonda left the bathroom.

Teah found Rhonda in the kitchen drinking a mug of hot tea. Teah poured herself a mug of hot tea, added sugar and lemon juice and sipped on it.

Rhonda put her mug down.

"You know, your father George was the best thing that ever happened to me."

"I thought he was a dog," Teah said.

"That was my anger talking. But, my heart yearned for him. I judged your father by what my girlfriends said about men, and that was more important than how he treated me. So, he reenlisted. I thought I lost him.

"Then, when his leave time came up again, he paid me a visit. I wasn't expecting him to show up, but he did. He told me he loved me. I can still remember the night we conceived you. We made love. He loved me like he meant it, and I knew he meant it.

"But, my actions didn't reflect what he and I both knew in our hearts was true. I chased your father away because I was too stubborn to admit that I was wrong."

"Am I supposed to agree with you?" Teah asked.

"No," Rhonda said. "I don't expect you to. You're going to learn the hard way like I did. Then, one day when you're forty or fifty years old, that light in your empty little head will finally come on and you'll realize that you fucked up. But, you'll be too busy trying to warn your own child not to fuck up like you did."