Possessing Bella Ch. 14

They stayed on the beach until the sun touched the water turning it from blue to muted gold. He had used her well during the course of the day, fucking each of her holes and revelling in the compact tight little body she gave up willingly to his wants and needs. The ride home was uncomfortable for Bella after such use, and she winced as he pushed their mount into a gallop on the return journey, making him chuckle in a self-satisfied way.

"When we return," he murmured close to her ear, "Things will be much as they have been. People here jockey for power and renown and I must remain unassailable. Most men here would not care because you are a slave and slaves are meant to be used often and by many. Having said that, fucking you could be seen by those with their own agendas as a weakness to exploit and a show of disrespect while you wear another man's collar if he is not here to offer you to me himself. He publicly asked me to take you under my protection, nothing more than that. The other men do not know of this arrangement you have to gain experience here under false pretences."

"I understand, Master," Bella said quietly. "I will not speak of it." She chewed her lip wondering if she should have been so honest and forthcoming with Arak that morning. The world she lived in was a complicated place, and her mind drifted to Stephen and his acceptance that she would serve others during her time here. Perhaps he had thought with the restrictions he had placed on her that it would not occur, and guilt nagged at her. She had flirted willingly. She had wanted what this man offered her despite her feelings for Stephen. Was she truly such a slut, she wondered. She fell into a troubled silence as they rode towards the mammoth home of Master Kolton.

*****

That evening and the following day Bella settled back into the daily grind of service to the Gorean home in which she dwelled. Dancing and service, chores and sleeping on the small but soft mattress at the foot of Arak's bed. The only concession afforded to her after their time at the beach being a deep and powerful goodnight kiss which left her trembling and guiltily wanting more.

Her dreams though were filled with Stephen. She seemed to be always dancing just out his reach as if something stood between them keeping them apart. When she woke, she would acknowledge it was this experience and the ones she was yet to undertake that would keep them separated for some time to come. She found herself watching Arak more critically. He did not live the Gorean lifestyle in his day to day world. He was a dominant there, but there was more to him then all of this. He worked hard. He enjoyed life. He didn't appear to have the arrogance or ego that so many of the dominants she knew had. He puzzled her in some ways, and she wished once again for some time alone to talk with him.

The first night they had arrived Stephen had told her that the walls had ears in this house. She never broached anything aside of the strict formalities that ruled the world of the Gorean slave girl while in the house to which she was bound. It would seem there was an underlying distrust between the brotherhood of these men.

"Come, girl," Arak said in a harsher than usual tone once he had dressed. They breakfasted separately as was usual, and Bella began her chores. It was close to the midday meal when Stephen arrived in the kitchen with a wide smile. Dressed in black leather and looking like a dark god-like creature to Bella, she squealed with delight, scaring the girl who peeled potatoes beside her.

She wanted nothing more than to run into his arms and beg his kiss, but instead remembering her place she took a deep breath and glided slowly over to where he stood. "It is so good to see you, Master, welcome back," Bella beamed. Still grinning, Stephen picked her up and held her tightly before kissing her.

"I have missed you more than I can say, little one," his deep bass cocooned her with his words. He carried her from the kitchen back through the long corridor and up to his room. Closing the door, he kissed her hard pinning her to the wall with her feet still raised off the ground. "It is a shame we will not have more time, to indulge my demonstration of how much I missed you," Stephen gave a half smile and kissed her again pressing his erection against her. "You will be leaving this place today; you are needed back at home," Bella's eyes widened and felt a feeling of dread settle in the pit of her tummy.

"Dorothea?" She whispered unable to voice the whole question.

"Dorothea is quite well and will be waiting for us when we return," Stephen murmured. "Could you trust me that this news is better heard at home amongst friends?" He saw her panicked face and the way she gnawed at her lip told him that she was thinking the worst possible things and sighed carrying her over to sit on the bed with her in his lap. "Vince is dead," he said bluntly, knowing no other way to tell her, but in this manner.

"No," Bella shook her head. "I saw him only a week or two ago. He was fine. I forgave him..." her mind raced with the other, not so charitable things she had said to him. She felt sick and light headed, the room began to spin around her as she whispered, "How?"

"We're not sure yet," Stephen said pulling her close as she paled and became unsteady on his lap. "You are one of the strongest women I know, Bella. You can face this. We will all be there for you."

"Jenny! Oh, god! What about Jenny?" Bella gasped as tears began to run down her face. Suddenly she blinked and her head came up to look at him. "I can't leave. I made a commitment. I promised. Kolton made me promise. I can't leave," there was an air of desperation in her voice.

"Mark is downstairs filling both Mike and Kolton in on what has occurred," Stephen said gently.

"I have to thank everyone. They have all been so kind, so good to me here," her voice still held panic as her mind raced. "My chest, it's in Arak's room," she saw the look that flashed momentarily, so she added, "beside the pallet I slept on at the foot of his bed."

"Slow down, little one, take some time," Stephen tried to hold her tightly to him.

"If I stay here I will think too much, and I need to do this, please let me go and thank my new friends," she looked up at him with teary eyes. "You are right. I need to go home, I don't want to embarrass myself by losing it here in front of these people. Let me do what needs doing, I promise I will sit and think and take it all in when we leave this place." She wiped her face and sat up straighter looking him in the eye. "I will be okay," she said and gave a half smile. "Please let me do this."

"I will take you down to Nyx. You will stay with a friend at all times, someone who knows you well. You will not run away to be by yourself," Stephen said and regretted his reference to her past flight from any emotional situation.

"Yes, Sir Stephen," she whispered acknowledging that she could not escape her past or who she was no matter how much time passed.

"Really, Steelheart? You punish her as soon as you arrive when she has done nothing but brought honour to your name," Arak accused as they ran into him in the corridor after leaving the room.

"I have not touched the girl," Stephen muttered indignantly, "She cried for her own reasons." Arak looked dubious. "It is none of your concern, she leaves today."

"Are you okay, girl?" Arak's dubiousness had turned to surprise, but his voice was harsh thinking that she was being punished for their day on the beach.

"One of my..." her voice caught as she went to say friend. She had withheld that friendship from Vince after she had forgiven him. "Someone close to me has died. I am sad that I couldn't put things right before he... left us... Master Arak." She barely remembered to put his title in place at the end of her sentence but it was all she could do to keep herself from falling apart.

"Oh shit. I am so sorry," Arak said breaking character momentarily.

"I was coming to find you, so it's good you are here," she gave a lop-sided smile. "Thank you, Master Arak, for your time and patience and instruction. You have made my time here as near to perfection as I could have hoped. I am only sorry that we did not have more opportunities to visit the beach and know each other better. Our talks that day were interesting, and I had a lot more questions for if the opportunity arose again to speak with you plainly. Alas, it's not to be but maybe we will see each other again someday. "

"I would enjoy that very much, sweet girl," Arak smiled. "You're a lucky man, Steelheart. She could have been one of the best and brightest here in this world."

"In any world," Stephen agreed but there was an edge to his voice. "Thank you for protecting her so well in my absence."

"I can honestly say that it has been my pleasure, an absolute highlight for me. I will miss the beauty and grace of your girl during the last week of the enclave," Arak said seriously.

Bella continued on through the home finding those that had made her stay here so wonderful. Thalia, Talibah, Elena and Nyx even though she knew she would see her again. Each cried with dismay in their farewells and eventually she found herself in the office of Kolton with Mike and Mark Millar.

"I am sympathetic to what has befallen a member of your family, girl, and therefore release you from your commitment to us. You have far exceeded my expectations and I would extend to you the opportunity to return if you like, at some future time," Kolton said in his strong voice.

"Thank you, Master Kolton. I appreciate you allowing this girl the shelter of your home," Bella said equally formally.

"You are welcome. Go then and attend to the sad business at hand," his voice softened slightly, and he gave a rare small smile.

The three men left with Bella and went out to the helipad. Mark and Stephen helped Bella in, wrapping a thick cloak about her shoulders. Mike did not board, he said he would return in time for the funeral. Bella accepted her chest from Arak, then they were airborne and once again she had to face another crisis in her small world. When would it ever end? She felt like she had lived a lifetime of sadness in less than a year and her half full glass, suddenly looked half empty again.

Silent tears began to course down her face, and she felt Stephen's hand take hers reassuringly. It was Stephen, big strong protective Stephen who she thought she might even love, but at that moment she couldn't bear to be touched. Looking at him apologetically she pulled her hand away covering her face and the large sob that issued from her mouth. "Had she done this by spurning Vince's friendship?" Bella asked herself remembering his face and his pleading voice that day when the police took him away. Her actions made her cry all the more because she could never make peace with him now.

*****

Bella had stood by the graveside between her parents. They had seen Vince grow up as a part of his extended family and after the loss of Mel they were in disbelief that someone with such a bright future could have taken his own life. The picture panned out as the reporter spoke, and Bella wondered, if she had to do it all again, if she could accept Vince's friendship for the sake of her parents and Jenny.

"I don't care what the gossip mongers say, he was a good boy who loved his father," Joe had stormed angrily away from any television showing the story on the news. They had taken the news worse than her, Bella thought, because there was still a small piece of her that blamed him for Mel's death. She had forgiven him, and she had meant it but the wound inflicted when she lost Mel was so deep that she doubted she would have ever fully made peace with Vince and accepted his friendship. Perhaps she reasoned his wound from his part in the events leading up to that dreadful day were too deep to heal properly, and his guilt consumed him.

Bella had flown from the Gorean enclave to Jenny's home where she had met Rob and Kurt and changed into sensible clothes in which to go home to her parents. She had remained long after the funeral, spending time with her parents and attending the reading of his will in which she had been named.

Jenny's mother who had arrived and all but ignored her daughter spat outrage at the lawyers and everyone else in that room as his wishes were read. She vowed to contest the will and gain back what rightfully belong to her family. In truth, had she asked, Bella would have gladly given her what she wanted. As the beneficiary of all but a few token gestures to friends and some charitable organizations, Bella was the sole beneficiary of most of his legacy such as it was. Stunned into silence by the woman's vitriol, Bella had said nothing as arguments and angry words raged around her.

"First the father and now the son, your brazen slut," the woman pointed her finger at Bella in accusation.

"All you had to do was ask, and I would have given you what you wished," Bella said sadly. "Now that you have insulted not only me but also my friends and family, Vince's friends and family, and blackened his memory you can go fuck yourself." Bella smiled sweetly, turned and left the room not believing she had spoken to the old woman like that, but she continued walking, making it to her father's car before she began crying again.

She heard footsteps on the gravel behind her and without turning around, she said, "I know I shouldn't have reacted like that. Please don't make me go back in there and apologise."

"I wish I had said that," Jenny's soft voice said from behind her, making Bella turn around with a look of astonishment. "Let her waste her time contesting the will. She won't win and it will give her something to do instead of trying to find me a new husband despite knowing that I am a lesbian and that is the last thing I want."

"Jenny, I am sorry. I never expected... I mean I just..." Bella couldn't find the words.

"He was my son. Misguided and flawed but my son and I loved him dearly. He told me you forgave him; you know. I thought he would be alright after that. He seemed so much better. Thank you for that but I think he had some demon's he just couldn't escape. He loved you like a little sister. It hurt him to see you with his father. It blinded him to what his grandather was plotting in the end," she gave a rueful smile and shrugged, "If a mother cannot make excuses for her boy who can."

"I am so sorry," Bella sobbed, "This is all my fault!"

"Stop that this moment," Jenny commanded. "I know you loved him but Mel was a true bastard. He did what he wanted when he wanted and damned the consequences. That attitude was as much a part of his success as it was his downfall, and the rest of us are left to pick up the pieces." She wasn't angry or even bitter, she just stated the facts in an unemotional way. "I am sure once you were in his sights he gave you little choice either."

"I loved him," Bella said simply.

"We all did in our own way, even Vince. All of this, Vince and what happened, it's Mel's fault not yours, and I bear a lot of the blame for his death and your suffering but we must move on. Promise me, no matter what, you will take the gifts given to you and use them to have a glorious life. They loved you and wanted that for you."

"I will, I promise," Bella said softly touched by her honesty and support.

"Good then I can move on as well. I wanted you to know from me that I would be selling this place," Jenny smiled sadly. "Jess and I are going to travel for a bit, do some volunteer work in third world countries and see everything we can see." Bella wasn't sure how to react, and she looked blankly at Jenny. "I need to move on from the ghosts now, start a new life, away from here and her," she looked back towards the house where several people stood watching them. "I think its time for you to leave it all behind too now, don't you?" Bella frowned as she took in the words. How could she possibly do that and keep her friends and career intact?

"It's almost December and what better time to let things go. I am planning a huge New Year's Party to say goodbye to old friends and new. Come, and we can start the New Year with a pact to move on and live life to the fullest. I would like you there to decide if you want anything of Mel's from the house before it sells."

"I just, I don't know if..." Bella stammered.

"You let me know, your mum and dad will be there so even if you can call by. I know we don't exactly live in call by territory here but see what you can do, you have a company helicopter after all," she laughed and hugged Bella again. "It will all be alright you know. Everything will work out just the way the old bastard would have wanted it once he was gone." Jenny started to cry then her bravado finally crumbling. "I blame myself for this and I need to know you will live an amazing life."

"It's no one's fault, it's just a huge case of bad communication," Bella had meant to joke lightly but began to cry with her. They were soon surrounded by friends who had become concerned. Bella let herself be guided into the car and driven home. As Managing director of the company Kurt had been present at the reading of the will but had not remained afterwards instead returning to the city in the company helicopter.

After ensuring that she was safe and secure with her parents, Stephen too had left the day after the funeral to attend to some urgent business. Having time to herself and no computer or briefcase to keep her occupied, Bella had spent a great deal of time in her childhood tree just thinking about the last year and all that had happened.

After the reading of the will, she sat in that tree until sunset, marvelling at the beauty of it until her father came to get her for dinner. She smiled and climbed down hugging her father, "I think I am ready to move on," she smiled and then laughed as his eyebrow rose in a questioning manner. "I'll tell you about it over dinner," she continued to laugh.

The small family sat down to eat, and Bella's good humour remained as she dug into her a wonderful fettuccine dish that she had grown up with and loved. It was comfort food, her mother always knew what she needed, and it filled her with warmth that had begun once she had really thought about her conversation with Jenny.

"This is so good, did you change the recipe?" Bella asked around a fork full of food.

"Don't talk with your mouth full, Bella," her mother admonished her but smiled as she watched her daughter enjoying the food. "It is the same as it has always been," she laughed.

"Come on Bella, stop flattering your mother and explain what this moving on is about," Joe joined in the good humour.

"When Jenny and I talked after I was so rude, she said some things that were hard to hear," Bella began.

"That wasn't rude you should have heard what you mother said to that woman after most people had raced after you," Joe chuckled. "I didn't need to say a thing."

"Mother!" Bella gasped.

"Nobody can talk about my baby girl like that and expect me to say silent," she said indignantly. "Your father was there as your lawyer; he couldn't speak but I had no such worries, let me tell you," she threw her napkin on the table and huffed indignantly.

"I never got the chance!" Joe defended himself. "She was the most beautiful, powerful she-wolf protecting her cub and I was very proud." He reached out and took Rosie's hand, while she blushed and smiled sheepishly.

"I am so lucky to have you as my parents. I don't think I ever really understood just what remarkable people you are until today. I love you both so much," Bella said and took their free hands. "Never once did I feel like you put your career or your friends or anything before me, if anything I felt smothered but I realise I was a bit of a lost lamb and may have needed that," she gave them a lop-sided smile.