Postscript: The End to PIG

Goddess Ashley met me outside of a Panera Bread for the ostensible reason of returning my credit cards to me. She was sitting alone at a small table, drinking a mango smoothie. She wore a white halter top, black shorts, and white high-heeled sandals. Sunglasses stylishly perched atop that luxurious blonde hair.

As I approached, I could see her ruminating on something as she watched me walking her way. I stopped near the table and stood silently. I was not to address Goddess Ashley without explicit permission.

"Hey there, pig. Here's your plastic." She slid the cards across the table in my direction, carelessly. "You really, really, need to increase your limit on some of them, all of 'em, actually. A girl can't have too many Hermes bags. I mean, those Birkins don't just fall off trees, you know." She smiled, that smile that could light the world, that had stolen my heart so early on, and which now stung me anew each time I bore witness to it, with a depth of longing I had never before known, and could now hardly bear. She added a darling little chortle. Then she devoured my soul outright.

"I've misjudged you. You're not a pig. If anything, you're a sow. But you don't even need to be that. You don't have to be a swine. You could do better. 'WE' can do better. We 'WILL' do better! It won't be easy. You will need to trust me. You will need to follow my direction. You will need to pay me. But it is possible."

Ashley observed the quizzical expression on my face and anticipated my question. Her remarkable intuition may have been her most attractive characteristic, particularly when she used it empathically.

"What I mean is this, you can be so much more than just homosexual. Do you ever feel that you are actually a woman trapped in a man's body?"

She paused, but only for a moment, just long enough to allow my cheeks to flush and for my gaze to drop from hers, and to the ground.

"I know, I know. I can only imagine the pain this causes you. I'm here to tell you that it can end. 'WE' can end it. You'll be so much happier as a woman. You've already got the sexual fulfillment part down pat. We've watched, and re-watched, those clips of you sucking cock, riding cock, truly massive cock, like a champ! I mean, your asshole must be gaping by now. It just has to. How are the diapers working out for you, by the way? I've invested some money in adult diaper stock just because of you. It's somewhat inspiring. Just tell me what brand you favor. I know it sounds like "insider information", but I'm your friend, so you can tell me."

"And who knows. If you come out, dress up, lose some weight, drop the upper body exercises and double the lower body ones - squats, in particular. You may need some shots - punch up that booty. Some hormones and electrolysis. And your hair? You'll have to lose the hair and go with wigs. Invest in wigs. Maybe one for each outfit. You've got good facial bone structure. That's a plus. Nice eyes. Long, very long, eyelashes. Your nose and lips are passable."

"I don't know. I think we can do this. And honestly, if you're willing to go under the knife. We can take it full circle. Lose that beta dongle and let 'em cut a nice pussy out of you. Yes, an actual vagina. Seriously, have you ever even used that thing? For anything other than peeing and rubbing it to gay porn, when you can find it, your tiny penis that is, not gay porn. I'm sure you know exactly where to find gay porn. I'm sure that if I check your phone and your chromebook browser history, there'll be oodles. What do you favor? Bull on twink? Bulls on twink? A gaggle of bulls on one pathetic sissy emo faggot twink?"

"That's it, isn't it? Your nose twitched when I said that last one. Figuring you out is like shooting cucks in a barrel. You know that?"

"But, seriously, I want to help you. I've grown fond of your poorly hidden homosexuality and desire for cis-trans transition. So poorly hidden, truly. I'm mean, just look at the way you're standing right now. You wouldn't know how to stand like a man if you watched a full hour youtube instructional video on how to do it, and it came with a downloadable step-by-step guide to follow."

"For the everloving love of Gay God, just admit it. And don't wait. That would be a sin."

"We can't wait. That's the tragedy of Kaitlin Jenner. No one wants an old queen. Sure, some will tolerate it. But mostly it's just patronizing. And there's no doubt about it when there's money involved. Anyone will placate anyone, anytime, anywhere, if money is involved. Are you independently wealthy? Hmmm? See, there's that nose twitch. It's your same sex tell. No money, no honey. No country for old gay men who wanna become old gay women."

"Bruce never had a chance. I mean, it was bound to happen. You can't be around that much Kardashian without some of it rubbing off. It's too sexually explosive. An alpha, I mean, a true alpha, would've fucked one of 'em, got caught, and been shipped off to somewhere. Anyone less, less than absolute alpha, was bound to be turned. Too bad it didn't happen sooner."

"I'm sure there would have been enough money there for a younger Kaitlin to go hog wild. No offense, pig. No? Yes, you're right. And that's the last time it will come up. It's time to transition - into something truly spectacular. Let's see... What should your new moniker be... Lola? Tina?"

Ashley observed one single tear welling up in my eye, and paused. I felt the warmth of it as it dripped onto my cheek and brushed it away quickly.

"Have I hurt you? I am not saying this to harm you. I'm saying it for your own good. For OUR good. I'm actually excited at the opportunity. In you, I see the attractive, slutty, penis devouring dude-turned-cock-crazed-gal hiding within the marble. We just need to chip away at the stone. Just think of me as your modern-day Praxiteles."

"Or, was that a tear of joy? At long last, someone can see you for who you truly are. For what you are. I think that you should speak now."

"I love you, Ashley."

"Ohhhhh, bitch. Be careful now." "Of course you do. And you will. And you will do so much more than that. I'm going to make you into a monster. In the future, but soon, when you are turning in your heels on the runway on amateur night at Lucky Cheng's, or roasting on a spit in some dark hotel room, or just lying beside the pool in that hot pink bikini you always picture yourself in, a Newpy in one hand, Appletini in the other, you are going to thank me. So let me just say right now, for all of your impending dick teasing, cock pleasing, ass gaping, butt raping, faggoty joy to be, you're welcome!"

"So. It's settled then. We'll start in a few days. I'll text you the date and time and location. You're gonna love your new life, Tina. It's gonna be just fab! Off with you now. Shoo. Shoo."

She waved me off with a back-handed gesture and a wink, coolly sipping from her smoothie. I turned and headed back towards my car. I pictured the two of us together at that table, sharing intimacies and fashion tips. I was dizzy with passion.

"Oh, and by the way..." I turned on my heel to face her. "It's still 'Goddess' Ashley, bitch! Being a woman doesn't make you any less of a bitch. Now, toodles."