Praxis

Gaelle lay there and pretended to still be asleep for a minute while eyeing the way his Maori tattoo peeked out from beneath his polo shirt. Here I thought he looked good in a suit, but this is so much nicer, she admired.

It was a quiet drive to the hospital afterwards. They'd been sitting in silence at Evelyne's beside for two hours, Kai unsure about whether he should move closer to Gaelle and perhaps hold her hand.

I mean, we've already slept together and I stared at her boob this morning, he contemplated, momentarily closing his eyes--partly to censure himself and partly to recall Gaelle's beauty in the light of dawn.

"You're tired too, huh?" Gaelle softly asked, snapping his attention back to the cold ICU unit. "I'm sorry. I should have insisted I come alone. She could take days to wake up." She looked down at her feet. "I mean, if she wakes up."

"That's enough," Kai reprimanded her. He reached into his pocket, then pressed some cash into Gaelle's palm. "You're going to take a walk outside, a minimum 20 minutes. Then you're going to stop at the Tim's in the lobby on the way back and buy yourself something sugary. If you don't mind, I'll have a small coffee."

"Nothing in it?"

"I want it as black as my heart," he smiled. He wasn't expecting the curveball Gaelle threw when she slipped her arms around his torso and pressed her body to his.

"Don't confuse me," she murmured against his chest. "If you want a carton of milk, just say so."

Kai turned to Evelyne's sleeping form as soon as Gaelle left the room, slightly embarrassed but also feeling like an idiot for feeling shy near a woman in a coma. Then again, it was likely Evelyne could hear everything going on around her.

"I'm sorry," he sheepishly told her. "I like her and sometimes I wonder if she likes me, but it's probably more that she's grateful to have a friend right now. So no worries, I will be a perfect gentleman, I swear to you, Evelyne." Then he pulled a chair closer to her bedside and loosely held her fingers while leaning forward, his elbows balanced on his knees.

He realised she didn't know much about where he was from, so he told her about growing up in New Zealand and his tribe back home. Then he played her some music from his phone until he thought of something more interesting he could talk to her about.

"Okay, let me tell you a funny story from court last week," he said. "Usually for bails, we don't require a deposit. But this one guy was so sketchy we needed his family to put forward a deposit of $1000. They all looked to the guy's brother who was single-handedly supporting the entire family.

"Poor guy looked like he was sick of being the ATM for everyone, but it was obvious he was bright. He stepped up to the podium and said to the JP, 'Your Worship, I realise I have two options here--put up the bail money and have it wasted because my idiot brother is going to screw up again, or don't put up the bail money and have everyone blame me for ruining my brother's life.'

"So then, he turns around and addresses his family and says what he's going to do is match dollar for dollar any amount of bail money they put up." Kai started giggling to himself, not realising he was holding Evelyne's hand with both of his.

"There was total silence in the courtroom. He didn't get bail that day, but I had to--I just had to--keep checking in to see what the running tally was. As of today, the total is $20. This poor sap isn't going to leave unti--" Kai's grin faded off his face when he happened to glance up at the doorway.

"Until when?" Gaelle's gentle but intense stare all but disrobed him. At the very least, it made him forget the story he'd just been telling.

"Uh... until a really long time?" he tried, reaching out to receive the coffee she handed him. "I was just--they say coma patients can hear everything going on around them," he explained. "And if I didn't like the sound of my own voice, I never would have become a lawyer."

He couldn't lie to himself. Every time he looked at Gaelle since this morning, the image of her supple, bare breast flashed through his mind as though it was begging him to suck it.

You disgusting pig, he raged at himself, wondering if the only real difference between him and a Gary Roebottom at the office was that Gary was arrogant enough to voice his dirty thoughts out loud. Two hours later, Kai could see Gaelle's frustration grow despite knowing her mother probably wouldn't stir any time soon.

"Come on," he told her. "Let's go to the beach."

"Brampton is landlocked," she replied, visibly confused despite allowing Kai to take her hand and lead her out of the room. "And any beach bordering the Great Lakes is hours away."

"The one behind the hospital isn't," Kai replied. Minutes later, they'd pulled into the parking lot at Professor's Lake just south of Brampton Civic, and were walking toward the edge of the sand.

"I know it's not the same without waves," Kai smiled at Gaelle as they both stood knee-deep in the manmade lake that the city maintained as a summertime recreation center. "But there is something calming about just standing in water, isn't there?"

"Yes, on both counts," Gaelle smiled back. "Seeing as we're both islanders, it's not the same without waves or the ocean but it's still... it's still exactly what I needed."

Kai couldn't bring himself to completely get lost in the easy hush that fell between them among the families laughing in the water and the music that blared nearby. He relentlessly scanned the area.

We don't even know what Pilsen's getaway driver looked like. He took a moment to observe the irony that he couldn't stop worrying despite instructing Gaelle to do just that. The motherfucker could be right here on this beach. Thank god neither the police report nor Gaelle mentioned him seeing her. But what if he entered the house and saw pictu--

He initially flinched at Gaelle's fingers snaking themselves around his, but only because it snapped him out of his fretting. After spending a little while longer in the water, they picked up a pizza for dinner on their way home.

Kai wasn't sure what to expect a little while later as he got ready for bed. When he'd been lying in the dark for a good 20 minutes and felt his eyelids droop, he unexpectedly felt something else.

"I'm sorry," Gaelle apologised as she lifted up the covers on the other side of the bed. "I thought maybe it would be better to come here now than wake you in the middle of the night."

For the following six days, Kai awoke each morning to the calming effect of Gaelle's arm draped over his ribs. It didn't matter to him that she was probably holding him without her knowledge, but he made sure to be up first and ready for work each day before she opened her eyes.

God, give me strength, he muttered inwardly while pulling the comforter up to Gaelle's shoulders most days. Her tank top straps had gone rogue almost every night, and Kai's morning wood raged upon seeing her naked, stiff nipples in the light of dawn. There was not a day he didn't think about waking her up by sucking on them--and then thought about standing in court in front of his colleagues, facing an aggravated sexual assault charge.

Yeah, because that's all you need to be more popular at work, he chastised himself while holding onto the bathroom wall tiles, shivering against a cold-water shower.

That Friday night, he brought paneer wraps home from the Punjabi restaurant across the street from the courthouse. They were each a couple of bites in, seated on his couch, Kai flipping through the channels and oblivious to the consternation on Gaelle's face.

"Where the hell is Jeopardy!?" he muttered under his breath. "Damn thing's always on at 7:30 every day."

"I'm going to have to testify against him, aren't I?" Gaelle quietly asked. A part of her hoped she'd asked it so quietly that Kai didn't even hear her, because this wasn't a conversation she wanted to have. After all, she'd been avoiding it for nearly a week now. He switched off the TV and nodded.

"But you, yourself, said it would take months if not close to a year to get to a trial, unless Pilsen pleads out, right?" she asked. Kai nodded again. Looks like he doesn't want to have this conversation, either, she thought ruefully.

"Then do you think I should apply for the Ontario Witness Protection Program?"

"No."

"No?" Gaelle raised an eyebrow. How long could she take advantage of his kindness by staying with him?

"No," he repeated, ripping off another bite of his wrap. The heat of the red chilies hit him in the bridge of his nose.

"For a lawyer, you don't like to talk too much, huh?"

"Gaelle, I already looked into this," he lied. Technically, it's not a lie. I already have this knowledge but I didn't look into it for your case, he justified to himself. "The OWPP is a last-case scenario and they only give you money to relocate. It's not like in the States or on crime shows where they have federal marshals on you at all times. Hell, it's not even funded as well as our federal witness protection."

"Kai, how long am I going to stay with you?"

"You've been here a day! Plus, those programs are typically only considered when the Crown is dealing with organised crime or drug rings. Something where you'd need to permanently change your identity out of concern for a revenge hit."

"Revenge hit," Gaelle muttered, shaking her head and standing up to go to the table. "I don't even know who to be mad at anymore. Parents for raising their children so crappily they grow up to use violence to control other adults? Or perhaps the system and the police for doing absolutely fuck-all against abusers until they loudly try to kill their partners and everyone helping them."

"Gaelle, it's not as bad as you're makin--" Kai stopped himself when he saw her face all but dare him to finish that sentence. "What I mean is, you've got me, and I'm prepared to have you stay here as long as is needed."

Gaelle couldn't balance the mix of gratitude, annoyance, and shame at having to need so much help from a man who barely knew her. She just couldn't.

"Thank you, but I think I need to go for a walk," she quietly said, before getting frustrated all over again that he stood up to join her. "What, you're going to protect me from the mosquitos?" she put her hands on her hips.

"You don't know the neighbourhood," he said, dusting off his hands and quickly taking his plate to the kitchen table. "And since you mentioned it, yes, anyone could be out there."

"Kai, I am so thankful to be here with you, but you are suffocati--" Suddenly, music started playing. Not just any music, Gaelle realised as she glanced around the room--her ringtone. Kai found her phone first and tossed it to her.

Don't let it be him, please don't let it be him, he pled with the universe. He knew his job had made him paranoid beyond belief over the years, but the possibility Pilsen's driver had found Gaelle was still a real one. Or maybe not.

"Can we see her??" she asked as she swirled around toward Kai, looking as though she'd won the lottery. "Okay... okay, then, tomorrow? How soon can we come in?" She hung up the phone, dropped it on the table and all but leapt into Kai's arms.

"She's awake and there doesn't seem to be any neurological issues because she was asking for me," she murmured into his neck. Kai tried to maintain his concentration on her words despite being distracted by her breath on his skin. "They told her I'm safe. Visiting time is almost over so we won't be able to make it to see her toni--" She abruptly stopped.

"What?" Kai pulled back. "What is it?"

"She's awake now. She and I can't both stay here," she realised.

"Gaelle," he replied, pulling her back to his chest, "people don't just wake up in the ICU and walk out three days later. She's also older so they'll want to be sure before releasing her. It could be months." He shrugged. "Even if you're both here, I really don't have a problem with it."

By that night, Kai was not only used to having Gaelle crawl into bed with him; he was expecting it and stayed awake long enough to lift up the covers for her. His back was toward her but there was no way he could sleep. Not with her clean scent of cucumbers and lemongrass surrounding him. He flipped onto his stomach.

"If you can't sleep, I can rub your shoulders," Gaelle offered.

Jesus, why are you doing this to me? he rued.

"You've also had a long day, Gaelle," Kai instead said out loud.

"I insist," she replied, pushing down the covers and starting on his back since he was already shirtless.

Kai cursed his stiffening cock, which was making it more and more painful for him to stay on his stomach as Gaelle's firm hands worked their way across his even firmer shoulders. He unwittingly let the tiniest sigh slip out.

"I'm glad I can help you relax," she said as she moved to straddle him so she could better reach the other side. Kai was now hyper-aware of everything--her weight on his butt, her thighs on either side of him, the heat of her crotch against the thin fabric of his PJ pants. His erection threatened to rip a hole in the mattress.

"Does this mean something?" Gaelle innocuously asked as she brushed her fingers across the tattoo adorning his left arm like a shoulder plate. "Knowing Maori culture, I can't imagine it doesn't." The concentric shapes swirled and enveloped each other, and her hands followed where they led.

"The spot..." she wasn't sure with the whirring of the standing fan in the corner of the room whether it'd been her imagination or whether Kai's voice had cracked. "The spot where you're touching," he explained, "is called a pikorua. It kind of looks like one shape being twisted, right?

"It could symbolise a couple of things. The bends and turns life takes on us, for example. But it's still just one shape so ultimately--am I boring you?" he lifted his head and strained to try to turn around and look at Gaelle.

"No, no, I want to hear about it," she confirmed and Kai rested his head again.

"It's a single twist, so it leads back into itself. Ultimately, we all go back to where we come from--the earth or maybe the water--despite all the journeys we take throughout life."

"The water," Gaelle said, recalling her childhood. "I practically grew up in it in Haiti."

"Have you ever been back since you left?" Kai's voice was a bit coarse, so Gaelle eased up on how hard she kneaded his muscles.

"No. I think about it all the time, but no. I, uh, I don't think I'm ready and I don't know if I ever will be." She knew Kai was too polite to ask, but the awkwardness lingered in the air nonetheless. "My mother and I came to Canada as refugees after my father was swept away in a mudslide."

As soon as she'd said it, she cursed herself for blurting it out like that upon hearing Kai's audible gasp.

"What?" he said, sitting up and holding a pillow in his lap. She slid off his lower back.

"I... I'm sorry," Gaelle offered, although she knew it was absurd to apologise for her father's death.

"No, no, Gaelle, I'm sorry. You must have still been a kid then."

"I was in high school, yes. Someone read my work file, huh?" She decided not to give Kai too hard of a time when she heard him nervously laugh. "So anyway, my mother's cousin lived in Scarborough so we came here through her for a new life. Haiti receives more than its fair share of natural disasters, but this slide was truly horrific."

Kai was now under his comforter so she decided to join him while telling him about the friends and family members she'd lost in the mudslide in addition to her dad.

"I don't blame you for not wanting to go back," Kai said, his bare arms resting between the two of them. Lost in thoughts of her homeland, Gaelle didn't even realise her fingers were on his. "Is there any circumstance in which you would?" he cleared his throat.

"One. My mother insists I submerge her ashes one day off the coast of Jacmel." Gaelle couldn't even remember the last time she'd spoken the name of her hometown out loud. "I told her I could just go to Newfoundland and it'd be the same thing but she insists it has to be in the Caribbean Sea. She says--and I quote--'our people didn't fight off the motherfucking French just for me to rest someplace else.'"

"Your mom said 'motherfucking?'" Kai laughed. "One time on TV there was some reference made to a blowjob and my mother turned to 17-year-old me and asked me what that was." Gaelle gave a little shriek into the comforter.

"I don't know who to feel more sorry for," she all but cackled. "My mother and I are more friends than parent and child, at least since I became an adult. She had me at 19. She's only 48 now." She took a moment to register the flicker of surprise across Kai's face, at least as much as she could see in the dark. "That's kind of why I thought she'd be out of the ICU sooner than later... she's not exactly a senior."

"She may very well," Kai whispered with a yawn. Gaelle didn't know how it happened, but it seemed like she'd blinked and the clock radio across the room suddenly read 2:35 a.m. They'd each been asleep for hours. Kai was turned to his right, her left arm wrapped around his torso as she tightly spooned him, and his ass pressed back into her pelvis.

Alarmed, she moved to gently extract her arm but his fingers were laced in hers. That wasn't the worst part, though.

Oh god, she thought, using her free hand to adjust her tank top straps and push her breast back in. Good thing I woke up before Kai saw--ohhhhh, shit. It hit her like a sandbag that boobs-out was how she may have woken up every morning that week.

Worrying about her mother must have consumed her more than she'd known, she thought while drifting back into a solid sleep. She only awoke again when she felt Kai shift, but he wasn't in front of her this time.

How the hell... Gaelle wondered as she registered the first glow of the rising sun. She was now the inside spoon, and his right arm all but had her in a lock. But that wasn't the first thing she felt. Oh no, is that...? Kai slept peacefully, his chest gently pressing against Gaelle's back as he breathed, blissfully unaware of his hardened cock pressing into her warmth from behind.

She hated admitting to herself that she hoped he would stay asleep for as long as possible. It was a conflict--being indebted to him but also wanting to be in this exact same position with him, except naked. The pressure against her damp panties was tempting at best, and painful at worst.

"Mmmmhh," Kai groaned and shifted to his other side, allowing Gaelle to slip out of bed while curbing her disappointment. There were other things to think about today. She knew the hospital staff would be taking good care of Evelyne, but she disliked the thought of her mother waking up alone in such a sterile, cold environment.

While she was making breakfast, she considered waking Kai when she heard the shower going upstairs. Gaelle's eyes glazed over at the thought of water cascading over his bare, bronzed skin, and she was conflicted for just a fleeting moment at the notion of joining him.

No, she shook her head as if there were a bug in her ear. What's he going to think?? That I'm somehow paying him back with sex because he first declined to arrest me, then gave me a safe place to stay when he just met me? She contemplated whether there was a way to show or tell Kai she liked him just for him, when she heard his footsteps coming down the stairs.

The way they were playing house was bizarre, despite being one of the easiest transitions she'd ever had to make. When they entered the ICU about an hour later, Gaelle was awash in relief upon seeing her mother sitting up in her bed.