Precious Fate Ch. 01

“Could I walk my lady back to her abode?” I asked with what I hoped was humorously over-formal tone of voice.

Still blushing, she giggled and, with a graceful motion, she moved along side me and placed her hand in the nook of my elbow as though I was a wedding usher showing her to her seat. “Please do!” she responded, her face now a striking shade of scarlet.

We walked through the main hall of the hotel like this, drawing many an odd glance from our fellow convention goers. We were alone in the elevator up to the third floor but did nothing but giggle like school children. Then we were at the door to her room, standing face to face again with our hands joined between us. There was an awkward silence. She, again, was the first to speak.

“How is it that you are always there for me when I need you?”

“How can that be true?” I asked, chuckling, “We haven’t laid eyes on each other in over 5 years!”

“But it is true! I mean, sure, I managed…with a lot of help from the wonderful people I’ve met at the meetings…to weather the storms of early recovery: the cravings, the loneliness, the fall of my marriage. But it was you that taught me how to do it.”

“But it was my job to help you…I help many people. Besides, I think that your counselor and the other staff and patients played a much bigger role in all that than I did.”

“But I knew that, deep inside, I was special to you,” she whispered, “It was you who was there for me on that first terrifying day. No, it was definitely you, much more so than any of the others, that helped me to see the path that I needed to walk.”

I was speechless. In my years of working at the unit, I had earned words of gratitude from many needy people but never had any impacted me like this. My love for her…my need for her…erupted painfully and I drew her close in my arms. Our bodies, I noticed, fit together perfectly…as though they had been created with the intention of being together as one.

Long I embraced her; caressing her back and trying to convey in the context of that moment all that was in my heart for her…all those feelings that words failed to communicate. I held her as though my very soul depended on never letting her go. I held her not as a friend, not as a fellow addict in need, but as the woman with whom I desperately wanted to share my love and my life. I was alive with emotion. A tempest of feelings ran through my mind, body and spirit, yet; paradoxically, at that very moment I was at total peace. Never before had I embraced a woman like that.

Finally, we broke apart. My shoulder was damp with her precious tears of joy. I looked upon her with lust. She stood with her hands still on my shoulders not even attempting to dry her eyes. I knew with a certainty that I rarely felt in life that we were in love and that once our relationship was established: we would never be parted.

I grabbed her gently around her waist and pulled her to me again, this time bringing my lips, not to her mouth, as she seemed to be expecting, but rather to that delicious spot on her neck…just below her ear and just behind her jaw. Tenderly, I kissed her there, savoring her satin skin, and then trailed soft, moist kisses along the line of her jaw on the way to her sweet lips that were slightly parted as if awaiting my touch. I felt a surge of adrenaline in my veins and my heart raced as our lips met. I kissed her soundly, my tongue playing against the edges of her sensitive lips. My libido was flailing madly against the restraints in which I had it bound. Despite this display of intimacy, I was not going to risk a sexual encounter just yet…but soon. We had the whole weekend in front of us.

I broke my kiss abruptly and she involuntarily fell back against the door to her room with a sigh. The look of smoldering passion in her usually serene eyes was almost defiant. Both our breaths were coming in ragged gasps. “Can I take you out to breakfast in the morning? Perhaps 9:00?” I asked in a flustered voice.

“You can take me anywhere...anytime!” came her sultry reply. With that she swiftly turned, unlocked the door and disappeared into her room without another word.

I stood there for a while trying to master myself and wondering if the sexual double meaning in her statement was intentional. I had never before heard such a tone in her voice. Suddenly, I sprinted away down the hall feeling as though I could fly. To my own room I ran. I fumbled the key into the lock, entered the room with haste, dashed into the bathroom for a towel, and finally, leaped onto the bed to relieve my tormented libido. Scenes from the evening danced like a motion picture against the back of my closed eyelids as the moment a release came painfully delightful in its urgency. I set the alarm for 7:30 AM and fell almost immediately into a sleep in which wondrous dreams weaved pictures of her face as it had looked as she leaned breathless against her hotel room door.

I met the morning’s light with deeply rooted sense of anticipation. It was still an hour before my alarm would be sounding but I shut it off and rose. I sat at the edge of my bed, my mind reeling in splendid thoughts of her and me. Visions of possible futures together passed before my eyes. I cut these thoughts off. No sense getting ahead of myself.

I took a cold shower to snap myself out of my premature thinking. I dressed in dress-casual clothes. Brushed my longish brown hair, shaved and made ready for our breakfast date. To keep my mind from wondering back to her again, I walked down to the lounge for some coffee and to converse with any convention attendees who where up early. It was only 8:00 and I had an hour before I was to meet her. We were probably going to miss the morning workshops and speakers but, so long as that was okay by her, it was fine by me. There was nowhere I felt that I needed to be more so than in her company. With that thought I turned into the lounge.

I was fumbling with the coffee filters at the do-it-yourself coffee station, uncoordinated in my lingering sleepiness, when a feminine hand reach around from behind me, snagged the stack of filters from my hand and relieved me of the task. I turned suddenly to find myself face-to-face with her friend from the dance. At a table behind her, from whence she had seemingly arose, was a group of four other woman, all of whom appeared to suppressing fits of laughter. “So the mystery man is revealed,” she drawled, “so very pleased to meet you!”

“Mystery man…I...er…what?” was my confused response.

“Oh, don’t look so surprised,” she said, “After five years of listening to her, we all feel like we’ve known you for years.” If I wasn’t totally dumbfounded already, her next statement completely floored me.

“So, did you two love birds get down and dirty last night? I assume that’s what her sleeping in today is all about. She’s usually up with the sun.” Laughter broke out at the table beyond and a few of the other patrons turned to see what the commotion was about. I felt a sudden rush of blood to my face and knew I must have been brick red.

“Shhhh…no…nothing like that…I …ah…well…we…er…” I stammered on incoherently.

“What!” she cried stomping her foot in mock anger, “you mean to tell me that after 2 years worth of trying — IN VAIN -- to get that girl laid…our attempts always shunted aside in favor the mere fantasy of some mysterious man who worked at that treatment center…she didn’t invite you to her room? Goddamn that girl!!” With that she smiled kindly at me and returned to her table where one of her friends had apparently fallen out of her seat and was now rolling on the floor in laughter.

“I…ah…it was good to meet you…ah…yeah,” I said, and, with that clever remark I turned, without my coffee, and retreated from the room.

“You better get on with things, stud…we’re all counting on you!!” came the parting comment from the friend amid torrents of laughter from the others.

I wasn’t angry with her friends for embarrassing me. I was sure it was all meant in fun…a good laugh at the expense of my nervous discomfiture, but it was also meant as a humorous yet friendly nudge. She had been thinking (and, obviously, talking) about me – for years! Still not wanting to spend the next 45 minutes building unrealistic expectations, I walked nervously around the hotel and convention center, pointedly avoiding the lounge, and thinking of all the witty responses I could have used to short circuit her friend’s little jibes.

Finally, at 8:50, I stopped by the door to her room. I sat on the hallway floor with my back to the wall opposite her door hoping she wouldn’t think this a bit anxious of me. I hadn’t specified a place to meet and I figured I’d stand a good chance of catching her here…provided she hadn’t left the room already. “God, if I end up having to retrieve her from that gaggle of rowdy, giggling friends of hers in the lounge, I think I’ll just have to either die of embarrassment or strangle one of them,” I thought to myself with a wry smile.

I had sat there, pondering the uncertainties of the day to come, for about 15 minutes when the door to her room opened and she appeared in the doorway looking distressed. She was muttering under her breath about being late and I could catch snatches of phrases such as, “damned hair,” as she stood there shuffling through her purse for the key to lock her door. She was dressed in nice pleated tan khaki slacks (or whatever women call the feminine version) and a pretty, low neck, button up, earth tone blue top that fit her bust and waistline in a most complimentary fashion.

It was her hair, however, that struck me. She was evidently upset with how it behaved that morning. I could see that she had tried to put it back in one of those elegant braids down the back of her neck but had found, over-late, that some of the hair around her face was not long enough to stay back. It had already fallen out and was dangling unevenly down her cheeks on both sides. Most likely in a desperate salvage effort, she had left the braid in and curled the escaping lengths into long, loose spirals. To some women, this might have seemed untidy, however, in my eyes it was incredibly sexy. The long curly lengths framed her face and drew attention to her mystifying eyes thereby taking some of the severity out of the hairstyle. It was perhaps a bit more casual than she had intended, but definitely much more in harmony with her personality.

She had not noticed me sitting there; transfixed once more by the way her sensually elegant features merged so gracefully even when she was disconcerted. Preoccupied with her hair and with her keys, she had her back partially turned to me in order to lock the door and did not see me rise to my feet and approach. Finally, having managed to lock the door amidst her muttering tirade about her hair, she turned and jumped at the sight of me standing nearby.

Her sudden movement left one of the locks of hair draped over her left eye. “Oh, I didn’t see you there…I was expec,” but I placed a finger to my lips and she stopped abruptly at my silent gesture. I stepped closer to her and caught her left hand in my right as she made to remove the curl from her eye. Slowly, I placed her hand back at her side.

In a swift, fluid movement I raised my hand to her face. With my index and middle fingers, I then gradually and delicately slipped the hair back into place at her cheek, softly running the finger tips over her flawless skin from the center of her forehead, around her eyebrow and down the side of her face until my hand came to a rest on her shoulder. The intimacy of this move left her speechless for a short while during which I looked longingly into her deep dark eyes. “God, you are wonderful,” she breathlessly sighed.

“Perhaps,” I whispered, “but you are nothing less than an angel.” She blushed deeply in response as I placed my arm around her and led her towards the elevator. On the way down to the ground floor it occurred to me that I had interrupted her in mid-sentence. When I asked what she had been about to say, she had to think for a minute.

“Oh yeah,” she said, her face brightening suddenly as the elevator door opened at the main level, “ I was going to say that I had expected to meet you in the lounge. I was hoping to introduce you to some of my friends.” She looked shocked when I suddenly cracked up in laughter.

“I think that I may have already met them,” I said as I recovered myself.

“What! When…where did you meet them?” She gasped out. My mirth subsided with an uncanny swiftness as I saw panic sweep across her face. I was taken back by her reaction.

“I woke early today and went down to the lounge for coffee and…my god, what is wrong, sweetie?” She was backing away from me. If we hadn’t still been in the elevator I was quite sure that she would have bolted off in a heartbeat. “Ohhh no, what did they tell you,” she whimpered. Her hands were trembling, and the look of fear and dejection in her eyes smote my heart.

“God, sweetheart, nothing bad, I assure you. One of them mentioned that you had told them about me, but that was about it.” This did not appease her or put her off one bit

“I know Gina better than that!!” she shouted. I assumed Gina was the friend to whom I spoke. She did seem to be the ringleader of the group when it came to making mischief.

“ Well…Ok…she proceeded to embarrass me in front of the others with rather presumptuous sexual innuendos about us…but it was all in fun,” I stated honestly.

Oh, I can’t believe she’d do this to me. I’m so sorry! God, what you must think of me!!” I had been holding the elevator door open and, when someone approached to get in, I grabbed her firmly by the elbow and escorted her to the relative privacy of the empty lobby. Most of the convention goers were in the first workshops by this time.

“What I have been thinking is how grateful I am that the woman who I have not been able to get out of my mind and heart for five years has also been thinking of me!” I said, exasperated, “About how wonderful it is to have found you now, when there is no need to worry about being appropriate, or about professional ethics, or about losing my job, or even about your being married. You could not know how hard it was for me while you were in treatment?”

With that, she stood as though rooted to the floor. It seemed as though my words were slowly penetrating her body, soothing out the anger and fear. Her arms, which she had folded across her chest in a manner that reminded me of my mother when she was angry, gradually fell to her side and a smile slowly replaced the look of betrayal on her face. I held out my hand to her.

With a soft cry she rushed up and nearly bowled me over with a tight hug. “I’m sorry,” she said apologetically, “I love Gina…she’s my best friend…but she can be a bit of a…well…a gossip…and she loves to mettle in other’s love lives.”

“Well, I was flattered by what she had to say, despite my embarrassment,” I replied. With that we preceded, hand in hand in the cool September sun, to my truck lightly discussing places we could go to eat, neither of us caring that we would probably miss at least half of the day’s workshops.

Over breakfast, we discussed our interests and hobbies and I was pleased to find that we shared a love for the outdoors. This topic reminded me that, nearby, was a small neglected park that offered a splendid view of Lake Superior and I asked if she would like to accompany me there. She accepted happily and without hesitation so we finished our coffees, paid the bill and headed back to the truck. I was pleased when, as she entered the truck, she slid way over so that we were sitting close. I was even more pleased when her thanks for breakfast included a soft kiss on the lips. “God, how could I love her so much,” I thought to myself.

As we embarked on the half hour trip to the lakeshore park she laid her head on my shoulder. She was warm and soft and the light scent of her perfume was soothing as she rubbed my knee periodically during the trip. Neither of us spoke until we got to the park.

I started to get nervous as we pulled into the empty parking lot at the small park. She got out and stretched taking in a deep breath of the clean marine air. A stiff wind had picked up and was blowing cool and steady off the huge expanse of deep, clear blue waters that is Lake Superior, which was hidden from view of the parking lot. I walked around the truck to her and took her hand in mine. Silently, I lead her to the head of a trail that wound back behind the narrow glade of forest that obscured the lake. We followed the trail through the glade. At her first sight of the mighty lake, she gasped loudly. “My God,” was all she could say in her astonishment. Like I had been when I first laid eyes on the splendor of this largest of the great lakes, she was at a loss for words. Despite the possibility of being cooler than comfort allowed, I had been pleased to see that the wind had arose.

We stood on the sudden edge of a steep sandstone cliff that dropped some 40 feet directly down to the now violent surface of the lake. Inspired by the 25 MPH Northwesterly wind, the waves were at 8 foot and were building, their tops whitening. The huge swells of water were breaking upon the shallows and rock reefs and were crashing against the stone bluffs with unimaginable force. The sun shone brightly on the white foam crests and as they battered the rugged shoreline emitting sprays of water and foam that shone in rainbows in the sun. The lake was a tempest of moving waters. I was a tempest of feelings as I stood next to her watching her reaction.

“My God,” she sighed again as she absently let go of my hand and daringly approached the edge of the bluff. She sat down on the edge with her feet dangling off. I noticed, with wonder, that this woman, who panicked and hyperventilated in many social situations, showed no trace of fear as she sat at the brink of a fall that would surely prove fatal. She was in a state of complete awe at the sight of the lake. I was in a state of total awe at her radiance as she sat dangerously on the edge of that cliff. I sat behind her with my legs spread, straddling her backside and placed my arms around her middle with sensual protectiveness.

“I have never seen anything so beautiful in my life,” she said in a breathless voice.

“Nor had I until you walked into my life,” I responded lustily.

She giggled appreciatively at my cheesy disclosure as she turned her head to look back at me out of the corner of her eye. I took the opportunity to kiss her softly on the cheek. As she turned back to the view, I started massaging her shoulders. She seemed to melt at my touch, relaxing to fully take advantage of my tender caress. I continued the massage for as long as my rising libido would allow.

When I could resist her no longer, I placed my arms back around her abdomen and held her close, her back tight against my chest, my chin resting on her shoulder. She responded instantly by reaching back over her shoulder and running her fingers through my soft hair as it blew in the wind. I kissed her on the ear and she shuttered as though electricity had run through her spine. Urgency built in my heart and in my loins as I ran a line of soft wet kisses down her neck. I could feel her heart rate gradually increase as her body responded to my need. Goose bumps formed on her skin as I kissed her neck and shoulders more fiercely, often drawing her satin skin into my mouth. Whimpering in passion she leaned back into me and laid her head back onto my shoulder giving me better access and an invitation to continue.

Continue I did. As I kissed her sexy neck, I started softly caressing her abdomen with my hands. Imperceptibly, my right hand moved upwards towards her breasts as my left moved downward. I hoped she wouldn’t think this was overly aggressive, but I could feel how urgently she needed release. My own desires had now mastered me as well. She cried out in soft ecstasy as my hand right hand made soft contact with her breast. I massaged them tenderly as my left hand neared its destination. My mind reeled in suspense when it reached the waist of her slacks.