Proclivities XIII: The Oracle

"Hey girlfriend! How the hell are you?" Judy, my best friend and former roommate, said as soon as she answered my call. Honestly, I felt guilty for not calling her for the past ten days. I was sitting at the breakfast bar right after I'd gotten home from work and decided to give her a call. George had run out to the marine supply store, so I took advantage of the opportunity.

"Life is grand," I told her. "I'm sorry we haven't spoken in so long, but I was thinking about you and wanted to catch up. How's tricks?"

"I'm good, but I do miss talking to you. Are you serious about life being grand? Last we talked, it seemed like a serious storm was brewing between you and your mom."

"There was and it was a hell of an argument, but the odd thing is we're closer than ever."

"How did that happen?"

"It's complicated, but she came around to accepting me as a grown woman now, not the shy librarian who moved out after getting a new job."

"Oh? What do you mean grown woman?"

"As you know, I called her after we hung up. Things didn't go well. The more she tried to justify herself, the angrier I got. So much so I ended up telling her everything I'd been doing with George."

"No! Everything?"

"Maybe not, but damned close. I suppose telling her I liked anal sex was the coupe de gras."

"You didn't!"

"I sure did."

"Shit, if I'd ever told my mom that, she'd be in church for a week praying for my mortal soul," Judy snorted. I could feel her grinning on the other end.

"That thought probably crossed her mind too."

"So, how did go from that to closer than ever?"

"I can't tell you the details. Let's just say I may have opened her eyes. George and I went to my folks place the next day..."

"That must have been awkward."

"To say the least, but my mom and I had a talk in the kitchen while Dad got to know George out on the deck. We apologized and forgave each other, but then it got weird."

"That's when it got weird?" Judy asked in surprise.

"Yeah, I don't know what had gone through her mind, but in a twice round the barn manner, she started asking advice...and not on making coleslaw."

"No way!"

"Yes way. I promised not to disclose any specifics - I may have already said more than she'd like - but all said and done, it was the best thing that could have happened."

"Wow! But, rest assured, I'll never spill the beans on you."

"Thanks, I knew I could count on you."

However, there was so much more I couldn't tell Judy. A few days after our visit to my parents, I got a text from my mom. "I burned his toast. Worked like a charm. Thanks." So, she'd succeeded in getting another spanking from dad. I wasn't the only one who'd redefined her sexuality. The next day, she euphemistically asked how to book a trip to Brazil. I ended up making the waxing appointment for her. She called the next day and was kind of freaked out afterwards, but dad loved it and it had the desired effect. So, yeah, mom and I were kindred spirits of sorts. That said, I did establish that from now on, it was up to her and dad to figure things out on their own, telling her that was all part of the fun. There's only so much a girl wants to know about her parents' sex life!

"No problem," said Judy. "So how is Mr. Wonderful?"

"Full of surprises."

"Oh? What kind of kinks you into now?"

"No, no. Not like that. Don't get me wrong, the sex is great, and we keep finding ways to make it interesting, but it's other things. Mostly related to work."

"That's about the last thing I expected to hear."

"Believe me, it proves the old adage that truth is stranger than fiction," I said, letting it sink in.

"So, you going to tell me?"

"I hate to say this, but I really can't say too much. Just let me say there's...umm...a sort of international man of mystery lurking under that smooth persona. The really cool thing is that I got an unofficial promotion as his research assistant. Came with a nice bonus too."

"How much?"

"Let's just say it was generous."

"That much, huh? Nice. Otherwise, I'm not totally following you, but I understand if you can't say more. So how are you assisting?"

"You always come back to sex, don't you?' I jokingly chided.

"You mean there's something else?"

"You are incorrigible. But seriously, the company has another line of business I knew nothing about. It's all very legal, just not something they advertise or promote. Apparently, word gets around."

"Oh?"

"The rest is confidential. I probably shouldn't have told you what I did, but you're my best friend and us girls need to share some secrets."

"I'm glad you told me. I was getting concerned about you, with your mom and all. It's a relief that everything's working out. Your secrets are safe with me, but you are certainly full of surprises."

"Believe me, I have trouble believing it all myself. So, how about you? How are things with Bob?"

"We're still going strong, although he's still on the fence about getting waxed."

"Hmm...maybe George and I could help you."

"What do you mean?" she asked hopefully.

"One of the reasons I called was to make sure you're coming to the party this Saturday."

"Wouldn't miss it for the world. I'm dying to see Cinderella in the prince charming's castle."

"Bitch," I teased.

"Come on," Judy continued her teasing. "Even you said the whole thing with George had a fairy tale quality. And now you've laid on the man of mystery factor. I've just got to see you in your element."

"Just don't mention that...to anyone."

"I can still gush about the house and his boat, right?"

"Deal. But getting back to my ulterior motive. At the party, maybe we can buttonhole Bob about getting waxed. I'm sure George would extoll its advantages."

"Aren't you the little conniver!" Judy shrieked with delight.

"Gotta help my sexpot girlfriend."

"Guilty as charged, but people who live in glass houses..."

"Touché."

"Just one thing," Judy advised. "My cousin's bachelorette party is Friday, so I may be a little tired on Saturday, but I promise not to be hungover. What time does the party start.?"

"Two-ish."

"Then I should be fine. Who's coming?"

"Some people from work, plus George's friends from college with their wives or girlfriends. That's got me a little nervous."

"You shouldn't be."

"Well, I am. George assures me that the guys are a lot like him..."

"They've all got big cocks?"

"Judy, please! I'm just concerned about the women. What if they don't like me? I'd hate to cause a rift between the group."

"Bullshit! You've got nothing to worry about. As long as I've known you, you've always been kind, polite and friendly."

"Thanks. It's just that everything has been so perfect, I don't want to screw things up."

"You won't. If they're George's friends, I'd bet their partners get along too."

"Thanks, Judy. You're aces."

"Anything for my sexpot girlfriend."

"I suppose I deserved that."

"That you did...so, is there anything we can bring?"

"I don't think so. George has been obsessing about the party menu since Monday. We've discussed it often enough, but that's one of the things I love about him. He wants everything to be perfect. We're taking Friday off to cook. I'll be getting schooled in all the nuances of smoked meats."

"You sure you don't mean stroked meats?"

"I've already been schooled in that," I countered, and we both cracked up laughing.

"What's so funny?" Geroge asked as he entered from the patio with an Ocean Marine bag in hand. I was so engrossed with Judy, I hadn't noticed him pull into the drive.

"I'm talking to Judy. Just wanted to check that she and Bob are coming on Saturday."

"Sure. That's exactly what it sounds like. Put her on speaker." I did and George continued. "Hey Judy. How are you?"

"I'm great and really looking forward to seeing you both," she replied.

"Me too. Are you going to bring your sailing outfit?" asked George, referring to the first time he'd met Judy, kidding her that everyone on his boat had to sail in the buff.

"I would," she teased, "But I don't have the right shoes."

"I'll see what I can do about that."

"I can't wait," she said, continuing the charade.

"Okay you two, get a room," I chided.

"I'll let you go," Judy concluded. "I'm sure you've got lots to discuss about smoked meats."

"Bye, Judy," I said, unable to contain the smile her closing remark conjured, and ending the call.

"Get everything you needed at the store?" I asked George as he placed the bag on the counter, hugged me from behind and planted a soft kiss on my neck.

"I did," he confirmed, taking a seat beside me. "So, what was with her shady reference to smoked meats? Did I miss something?"

"I was telling her about getting ready for the party, that we were taking Friday off and your teaching me about smoked meats. She said it was more like stoked meats."

George chuckled. "Judy's a trip...and I mean that in a good way. I've only met her the one time, but I do like her."

"Yeah. She doesn't pull any punches."

"So that's where you get it from."

"Nope, I got that from you."

"Could be," George conceded with a grin. "Is that a complaint?"

"Hardly, just setting the record straight."

"Okay. So, what's up with Judy?"

"She's good," I advised. "As you know, she couldn't resist busting my chops about our sex life."

"No surprise there."

"But we might need to help hers."

"Do tell."

"Well...she has squeezed some details from me about ours. Specifically, that we're both waxed."

"I've got a feeling she didn't have to squeeze too hard, but I know you're close, so no biggie."

"Thanks," I said with relief. "Anyway, she is waxed too and wants Bob to join the club. He's reluctant."

"Okay," George said slowly, unsure of my direction.

"I offered that we'd take him aside at the party and extoll the virtues of waxing."

"You two are thick as thieves," George jokingly accused. "But sure, you set it up and I'll do my part."

"You're the best!"

"My pleasure, but Judy's gonna owe me...big time."

"Not on your life, mister," I retorted, both of us enjoying the banter.

"That all Judy wanted?"

"Of course not..."

"And?"

"Well, the last time I spoke with Judy was right before I had that explosive conversation with my mom."

"How could I forget?"

"Right. She just had to know how it went, so I told her, but I was as cryptic with her about the resolution as I was with you. She was shocked."

"Judy's known your mom a lot longer than I, so I can only imagine."

"Got that right. I had to swear her to secrecy too, of course."

"I'm sure your mom would appreciate that. Fortunately, she'll never know."

"True that," I confirmed, "but there is one more thing and I hope you won't get upset. But Judy's my best friend and...

"That sounds ominous."

***

I hoped it wouldn't be.

Last week, when he and Chuck were on the train returning from D.C. and their meeting with Jack Thompson, George, ripe with excitement, called me, advising me that he was calling from the bathroom so he could speak freely.

"Linda, we did it!"

"You did? That's great."

"Yup. Uncovered the embezzler...So we're getting the bonus!"

"That's fantastic. How'd it go down?"

George went on to explain that Jack told the partners that their system had been hacked and that they were the victims of a ransomware attack. That gave cover for the presence of Chuck and George as experts in such things while simultaneously lending plausibility for the shutdown of the company systems. George presented his "findings," assuring everyone that in a couple of hours, all would be restored, and they'd be back in business. While George pretended to work on the system, Jack and Chuck engaged the partners in small talk about the business and how things were progressing, fabricating their history of working together in government espionage, uncovering moles. Slowly, they worked around to asking the partners to help settle a bet they'd made about a Marx Brothers movie, but a different one from A Day at the Races. One of the partners nervously gave the answer to settle the bet. Chuck and Jack digressed into a debate over which was the best Marx Brothers film, drawing the nervous partner into the discussion. Not being a hardened criminal, he cracked.

"And the rest is history," George concluded. "Mutt and Jeff were in the parking lot, toted the guy away in handcuffs. Jack had recorded the whole meeting, so between that and the digital trail I'd uncovered, the guy was cooked. Now, I'll probably have to testify at the trial. If there is one, that is. He'll probably cop a plea. The funds should be recovered and that would be his best option. We'll see."

"That's so cool, you fucking genius," I said, joining in George's excitement.

"But wait, there's more!" George replied in his best late night commercial voice over. "I talked to Chuck and a quarter of my bonus is yours."

"What?"

"He was in complete agreement. You exhibited some insightful nonlinear thinking about resolving the case. I found the breadcrumbs, but you pointed the way to the gingerbread house."

"You mean...?"

"Yup, you're a quarter-millionaire," he quipped.

"Holy fuck!"

"I'm sure it's a shock. Of course, you'll have to pay taxes on it. I'll also need your banking details and social. Everything's aboveboard, so you'll get a 1099."

"Who gives a shit! That's unbelievable...Thank you, is all I can say."

"You can thank me when I get home," he replied with a snicker.

"Count on it."

"Oh, I will, but there's one more thing."

"I don't know if I can take any more...it's so...overwhelming."

"I've never heard you say that before," he teased. "Chuck believes we work well together, and he wants me to use you as a sounding board when I work on cases. I have the linear focus on the digital side. You provide the out of the box thinking and we'd share any bonuses that may arise."

"Oh my god! Really?'

"Absotutely. But there are some conditions."

"Such as?"

"Well, Chuck doesn't need to know how else I'll use you and you'll have to continue assisting in the nude."

"If I have to," I'd responded in mock dejection.

***

Looking directly at George, I said, "You be the judge, but you need to know."

"Go ahead, it's what we do. No secrets."

"I wouldn't have it any other way...When I was talking to Judy, I made vague references about my promotion at work and that I gotten a nice bonus. I didn't say how much."

"Nothing wrong with that. Anything else?"

"Just that OTP has other lines of business - legitimate confidential business - that I hadn't known about. And that you were the man of mystery behind it. I didn't say what that is either."

"You've got nothing to worry about. What we do is no secret if you know who or how to ask. But I am glad you didn't go into specifics."

"Oh, that's such a relief!"

"You didn't say anything about the whole Rizzo business, did you?"

"Heavens, no. I wouldn't even considered it."

"All I can say is, Chuck was right...brains and beauty. Now come here and give us a hug," he comforted, standing up and pulling me to him.

I should have known everything would be okay, and his tender embrace was my confirmation. But that's what he does. Makes everything all right and his slow, deep kiss just made it better.

"We'd better shake a leg," he advised.

"Why?"

"We have waxing appointments, remember?"

"Oh, that's right. At least I'll know what to expect this time. Let me shower real quick and into a skirt."

"I'd suggest a top too."

"If you insist," I replied on my way to the stairs.

Truth be told, I was kind of looking forward to the waxing. It was only three weeks since my last one, but washing up confirmed my pubes had grown out and things had gotten a bit downy. George advised that as time went by, the frequency of appointments would decrease and be more like five weeks in between. Most importantly, I'd be back to my old smooth self. I got dried and changed in two shakes. A light wash denim skirt, white blouse and black pumps. Easy and simple, a little trashy, especially with underwear optional.

I went first and no anxiety this time, but it was a bit odd when I waited during George's turn. I remembered how Siu had talked about George on my first treatment, with references to his ex-girlfriend, who was also her cousin, and his big cock. I knew I could trust George, but there was a pang of jealousy knowing someone other than me was touching it. Then I realized that Siu must have on previous occasions. God, I'm such a twit!

Once George was finished, he paid Siu and we headed to the car.

"How about some Chinese food?" he asked as he backed out of the parking space. "There's a good place on the way home."

"That sounds great. I'm starving."

"Okay, braised chicken feet and General Tso's cat it is."

"Fantastic! I hope it's an all-you-can-eat buffet."

"Hey, when did I become the straight man in this road show?"

"I'm a fast learner, as you're wont to say."

He switched to his best Bogart impression. "Linda, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship."

"Even I know that one. Casablanca, right."

"And I meant every word of it."

"Friends with benefits?"

"Plenty of benefits, but more than friends, my love."

"You're so sweet," I said, giving his hand a squeeze and fighting back tears. Damn it! When am I going to stop doing that? Probably never came the reply.

"Here we are," George announced as he pulled into a strip mall and parked. "Oh, shit! Are you okay?"

"Of course. Sometimes the joy is overwhelming. You know that."

"Yeah, and I should by now. You want a few to compose yourself?" he asked, pulling a neatly folded white handkerchief from his back pocket and offering it to me. "Never been used."

A nervous giggle later, I dabbed my eyes. "Okay, I'm good."

The House of Chong wasn't that busy and we were seated promptly. The dusty, gold painted dragon with glowing red eyes mounted on one of the walls was kind of creepy, but George assured me that the food was good. After a brief perusal of the menu, we ordered.

"Oh! I forgot to tell you.," I advised him. "The bonus showed up in my account today."

"Cool. How'd that feel?"

"Really good, but surreal at the same time. I'm not accustomed to a six-figure balance."

"I'm sure you'll recover. Have you thought about what you'll do with it?"

"I've never a had new car. I'm on my third car, but they've all been used. Maybe a brand new Civic or move up to an Accord. I'll bank the rest. What a about you?"

"I'm glad you're going to reward yourself; you deserve it. Me? Something frivolous," he grinned.

"Really? Like what?"

"And spoil the surprise?"

"Should I be nervous?"

"Not at all. Most of it will get donated, some invested, but I should have said I'm setting a little for an extravagant indulgence."

"I like the sound of that. Both the extravagance and the generosity. "

"Thanks. Just remember that by time the feds and the state are done, close to half of it will be gone. I'll help you with the estimated tax payments next week. Best to get those out of the way, so you know what's really yours. I'll have to do the same."

"Thanks, but..."

"But what?"

"I still can't reconcile that I did much to help with the case I'm sure it would have been solved without me."

"Possibly, but...it's more a matter of your potential."

"Potential?"

"Yes. Potential. Chuck believes you showed a knack for creative problem solving and with proper guidance and mentoring, you could become a valuable contributor."

"Umm, okay. So I was overpaid," I protested, uneasy confusion rising within me.

"Maybe, but look at it this way. We, I mean all of us including Chuck, got paid way above our normal rate, by like three million. So why not share?"