Professional

"Yipiiieeee!" the best wife of all proclaimed, hugging me again "That will be more than 2.000 per year extra. If we add my additional 50.000 Euro to that, then we are nearly rich! Oh, I am so proud of you!"

"Ilona, this is not exactly true as I will also..."

"Of course, I know that you will need to work harder and will have a bit less time for me than today. But this does not change a thing! I will also have to work a bit, so we will never be left alone at home then. Oh, how all good things come together in just a few days!"

I thought better than telling her that I now also had - for the first time in my career - a performance bonus which might in best case add another 50 percent and that I could also receive a significantly better company car. She would soon notice and adding my information would most probably not enhance her good mood further, so I left it at that.

She returned from the kitchen with a bottle of Madame Glykol's bubbly. "This is MY signing bonus from Wladi!" she exclaimed while she worked on the cork which finally evaded its prison with a bang and resulted in a small shower of glass from the chandelier that was not able to step aside fast enough. "Oops!"

We cleaned the glasses that she had already put on the sideboard and then filled our glasses with the remaining fluid. The rest of the bubbly had been distributed all over the living room as Ilona had tried to close the bottle with her thumb, which resulted in a nice spray fog which would have made any fireman envious. Ilona giggled "Just like the celebration with Davalka. We were all sticky afterwards."

I raised my eyebrows "Where did you celebrate then?"

Ilona blushed a bit, thought for a moment and answered "At the hotel of course. Wladi had rented a conference room for the signing and we all celebrated a bit."

"Wait a moment. You signed already? What about our agreement that we would make all major decisions together?"

Ilona crossed her arms and looked at me. "You tell me that you were promoted but you have not signed yet?"

I stuttered "Yes. I have the contract in my briefcase as I wanted to discuss it with you before. The company has already signed."

"So, you want to celebrate without everything being fixed? Is that not a bit premature?"

"But I only said that I had good news. Did you really sign already? May I see the contract as you often find some hidden clauses that need to be clarified immediately, my dearest?"

"Kurt. Now listen. I am a professional now, just like you. Do you not trust my intellect?"

Oh shit. I felt outmaneuvered. I trusted her, but I did not fully trust her professional contract negotiation abilities fully. Hell, this was the first time she had ever done such a thing. My thoughts were interrupted.

"Kurt? What's the matter? Do you trust your wife or don't you? I want to hear your answer now and if you need to think about it then I will know just how little you think of me."

I simply nodded. What else could I do? Have a big fight which I would surely loose and end up in the guest room for two weeks like last month when I did not fully agree that it was the city's fault to keep the switching times of the traffic light on station street from green to red that short?

I sighed "Yes, my dear. Of course I trust you. But I am still interested in the contract."

Ilona paused for a second. "Oh, don't mind. Wladi took my copy as well. He asked me whether I trusted him and of course, I did. Unlike you. You should be a bit more trusting in your fellow people. Nowadays' businesses are all based on trust, my dear. You would live a much happier life!"

I nodded, hoping that we would continue the celebration later in the bedroom.

Later, in the bedroom, Ilona proclaimed "It has been such a thrilling and inspiring day. Except for the discussion about your trust issues, of course. And yes, you may sign your contract as team leader. It's only two thousand extra, but we will cope. At least I will make 50.000 Euro extra."

"Ilona, actually it is not only..."

"Kurt, enough business talk for today. I am exhausted and tired. You could still massage my feet for a bit so that I will sleep fast. I need to be fresh and energized for my first day at work tomorrow."

With that the most adorable woman in the world turned her back to me, pushed her feet behind her and started humming happily when I started massaging her feet.

Tomorrow was her first working day? She was really moving fast!

I stretched myself, silenced my vibrating wristwatch and turned towards Ilona. She had her back towards me and I started rubbing her shoulders gently. I heard a small groan "Deeper. Still deeper. A bit more to the outside. Hmm, now this is quite good."

I moved to kiss her neck. "Don't stop working. I need to be relaxed for work today."

Several hours later I woke up, kissed the best wife of all and went into the bathroom. Twenty minutes later I drank my cappuccino (yes, we had a machine for this, but still needed to put sugar, cacao powder and some cinnamon on top manually) and looked at my mails. Although I had not signed yet, my mailbox was full of congratulations.

I wondered why Ilona had not appeared yet, so I went upstairs to find her still in bed. I sat next to her "Ilona, what time does your work start?"

She groaned "Why did you stop massaging me?"

I repeated myself "Ilona, when does your work start?"

"Later."

"How much later? I could take you there." I added "If I knew where you worked."

"Later."

"How much later?"

"I don't know. Sergej will call me two hours before."

"Sergej?"

"Yes."

"Who is Sergej?"

"A colleague."

"I can't wait much longer as my new main department will need me there. Let me book a nice restaurant for the evening so that we can celebrate."

"Main department?" She giggled "I love your humor! And we better do this on Saturday. I don't know how long I will need to work today."

I shrugged my shoulders and drove to work.

When I arrived, my secretary beamed at me "There you are. Did you sign? I feel so honored that you kept me as secretary. You could have chosen a much younger one."

I looked at Monica. She was about sixty years old, friendly, competent and knew everybody in our original company. She was a gem, and I would have been an idiot if I replaced her with somebody else.

"Monica, I need somebody who keeps me connected with reality. You deliver great work, and I would not exchange you for anybody else." I grinned and she nodded. She knew that her work was not always completely fault free, but the total package counted for me and whenever I gave or sent back something with a little highlighting, I could be sure that she corrected it in no time.

"I hear rumors that our CEO wants to make you a vice president later this year, but I can't disclose from whom."

I laughed "That would be much too fast. Don't believe this. If I work well, may be in four years."

"My source is quite reliable."

"Oh."

The good old secretary network. There were times when all of the secretaries seemed to vanish from earth for half an hour. The next day many important business decisions would be announced. Monica was part of the network and gave me hints which of my ideas would probably find fast acceptance and which should be thought over again. Obviously, I was not the only one who listened. I was not sure whether this was the only reason that our company was so successful, but it definitively played a major role.

So, I just nodded.

"I decided not to order new business cards for you. I don't want to waste money on things which might be outdated fast."

I looked at her doubtful, but smiled.

"Chef?"

"Monica?"

"I just can't figure out how you can be so polite and humble and so successful at the same time."

"I try to be friends with everybody. Until they work against me. And you have not experienced me when I am at war."

Monica laughed "As if you could harm a fly. How many people have you killed, chef?"

I flipped the fly I had caught in flight, just before Monica entered the room, off the table, muttered silently "too many, too many" and wiped away a tear. Some memories should stay buried for ever.

From the angle of my eyes, I saw Monica looking at me quizzically and worried. "Chef? Are you ok?"

I nodded answered "Soon." She looked at me for a long time while I started looking at the new organization charts.

"Chef." I looked up. "I am sorry, chef. I don't know what happened, but my question was improper. I am really sorry. Was it that bad?"

I nodded and did not look up. "About fifteen." I opened my briefcase, took the contract out, paraphrased every page and signed at the end.

Monica had started to laugh at my remark, but stopped quickly when I did not react further.

I looked up "Please deliver my new contract personally to HR."

She took the papers "I will make copies for you before that and will also send you a scanned version. I will be there if you want to talk. And I am really sorry that I asked the question."

In the afternoon I called Monica in. She sat down and smiled, then started talking before I could.

"Chef, how do you like your new position? Some younger secretaries have asked how you feel, and I see that your new position seems to add attention to how most women here look at you. I don't like this stone age behavior, but it is how it is. And a lot of men show more respect as well. Even to me."

I nodded "Let us make sure that we keep a good balance. I hope that we still have some left who voice their opinion. I am not a Czar who will only listen to yes-sayers."

Monica smiled "Good that you did not change. I will do my best to help you stay this way. You know that this will demand more energy from you than going for yes-sayers only?"

I smiled and nodded "Yes, but for me it is worth to have diversity of opinion besides the other diversities. I believe in balanced approaches."

"Good to hear, chef. Now you should go home. It is Friday, nearly 6 in the afternoon and you should celebrate with Ilona. Please greet her from me!"

Of course, I did not make it home before seven thirty. At least I had sent Ilona a short text, informing her that I should be home soon.

The house was dark, which was a surprise. I checked my messages, but there was nothing.

At home I took my freedom to put my briefcase on the floor, took my coat off, sat down on the bench in the entrance hall to take off my shoes and then put my briefcase into the home office room. All smooth. No dirt. No problem. I relaxed.

I wondered when Ilona would come home and started to prepare a cold supper for us. At eight I watched the local news and browsed a bit through international newspapers in parallel. I wonder to this day how people who speak only one or two languages can have a balanced picture of the world. I always found it very interesting how news agencies in different countries could inform about basically the same happenings from very different angles.

You wonder? Well, this is what happened that evening: A Russian agency commented on oil prices "the western capitalism faces another crisis as oil prices soar again". A Swedish paper commented "the rise in oil prices will facilitate a much quicker transition to sustainable energies". An American TV station commented "the president welcomed the increase in income for our starving oil industry" whereas an Indian internet service demanded immediate subventions for fossil fuel in order to dampen the negative effects for poor people. A German info paper commented that while the transition towards hydrogen would demand too high investments into renewable energy sources, efficiency increases would benefit technologically advanced economies. A Chinese news agency made it clear that while the party would continue to work towards a fossil free future, the increased oil prices would demand a temporary production increase in coal.

"Wonderful, I thought."

Checking my new contract again, I decided to inform my bank to buy hydrogen related stocks for 1.000 Euro monthly. Next, I discussed with myself whether to drink a Mojito, a glass of wine or a beer. The red wine won.

Half an hour later I checked my messages again. Nothing, so I decided to call my wife. You may have guessed it, her phone was 'currently unavailable'.

At nine o'clock I tried again. Same result. And at nine thirty. And at ten.

By then I had eaten and cleared the table.

A quarter past ten the doorbell rang. Once. Twice. Thrice. And then continuously.

I went to the door, wondering what had happened.

As soon as I opened it, my wife staggered past me "Quick, quick, I need to pee!" and disappeared into the guest toilet.

I closed the door and looked at the mess that she had left. Her coat on the floor next to the door. Her handbag lay open, two meters further, with some items scattered around. Then a high heeled shoe with its sole painted in red. And last a scarf, jammed partially in the toilet door.

I contemplated the still life and wondered what the reaction would be if I raised my voice the same way she had done it the day before. No need to start World War three today. Instead, I took some photos from different angles and played a bit with the lights in the entrance hall until my artistic soul was satisfied. I liked the photo and was happy.

Until I saw the pack of condoms besides the handbag. I picked it up and was relieved to see that it was not opened. Still, I was not that happy anymore.

We had decided - at a time when we still did this together - that we would postpone having children until we were financially stable. Now, with both of us approaching 30 and good paying jobs, that time was definitively near, and we could start the discussion when she would stop taking the pill. Somehow condoms did not fit into the picture. Should the pill not be sufficient?

Just then I heard the toilet flush and my wife - did not appear. "Are you all right, dear?"

"Of course, just give me a moment!"

Five minutes later she appeared without makeup. Ok, mostly without makeup. I could see a multicolored towel in the back. She held the other shoe in her hand, looked around and complained "Oh my god, what a mess! After I gave you that much time to put everything in place, you just stand there? Hurry up! What if a neighbor came in right now? What would he think about us?"

I looked at her, shrugged my shoulders, placed the condoms in her hand and started to place her coat in the wardrobe.

"Kurt, where did you get these condoms? I am on the pill! You are not cheating on me, are you? Really? Really?"

"Ilona, these condoms were in your handbag."

"Oh my god, now you are checking my handbag? The most secret place a woman can have? Are you not ashamed of yourself?"

"They fell out. They fell out of your handbag. They are your condoms."

"Kurt, stop making excuses. Manipulating the handbag to check its contents is a clear sign of distrust. Don't you trust me? Me, your ever-loving wife? What have I done to deserve this degrading behavior?"

"Who put these condoms in your purse?"

"How should I know who manipulated with my handbag? You just did. And you did not even apologize. Nor did you put my shoes away or take my scarf out of the danger zone!"

This led to nothing. But still I wondered.

"When did you buy the scarf, the skirt, and these shoes? I am sure I never saw them before!"

"Well, this is another proof of male ignorance. You have seen them several times before."

I looked at the show's red soles "They don't look like much wear. I would bet today was the first day they were worn. And I definitively never saw you with such a short skirt before!"

"These are normal business clothes."

"Not where I work."

"You work in the industry. Coal, steel, dust everywhere. I work in a highly professional negotiation and counselling surrounding. The rules there are a bit different."

"The drawing and calculation of buildings and machines definitively does not happen in a surrounding where steel is melted, and coal is burned. In our offices any dust is permanently filtered away due to the delicate computers and our new laser cutters everywhere."

"Whatever."

"Whatever what?"

"What is your point? I work hard, I wear professional clothes and I make good money. People respect me for my professional attire and my professional approach."

I decided to leave this area of dispute and get some more information.

"Why did you have to work so late and why did you not inform me? I tried to contact you all the time."

"Kurt, are you spying on me again? I work professionally and I can't be distracted by irrelevant phone calls."

She paused and thought for a moment. "May be that was a bit harsh. I appreciate that you care for me."

I nodded and waited.

"What?"

"Why did you work that late?"

"The working hours depend on the customers. They decide and they pay."

She looked into her handbag and took out two hundred Euro notes.

"Here. This is what I earned today."

My surprise was genuine. Her smile was triumphant.

"Enjoy. I know that you are envious, but I am YOUR wife. We earned this together!"

I breathed in. I breathed out. And again.

"When did you leave?"

"Is this relevant?"

"I just want to know how many hours you worked."

"It's complicated."

"Complicated." I looked at her "in what respect?"

"I need to change into something more comfortable."

And with this she disappeared upstairs.

I picked up her other things, looked into her phone, sent the contacts she had called during the last days to my phone and checked her texts. She never texted much. There was only one hairdresser's appointment at lunchtime.

Fifteen minutes later I called up "I would like to discuss a few more things."

"I am tired, and I am already in bed. Will you join me?"

Her feet needed a massage again, but that was all the intimacy I got.

At breakfast I tried to start the conversation again. Her answer was quick.

"We discussed it all yesterday."

"But I am proud to have a wife that earns so much money. Can't I be proud of you?"

That worked and she beamed "Of course, honey!"

"Look, it was just a bit over four hours of work. And I received 200 Euros. Imagine! I don't want to boast, but when did you ever earn that much money in such a short time?"

I feared that I had to disappoint her "Every day."

She started laughing "Oh, you are such a funny guy. Making jokes with an earnest face. I love you so much! You are so professional!"

I nodded.

She continued "Actually, I made even more money. I received even 500 Euros."

"Ah, I understand. Minus tax, social security and so on. Oh, by the way, we have to get your own health insurance."

"Health insurance? Why?"

"Because you earn money now."

"Wladi said, I could remain on yours."

"Not when you are earning your own money."

"But what do I pay that from?"

"You don't. That is why the agency gets more money and pays tax and social security including health insurance for you."

"I am not sure about this."

"Well, it is law, and it must be written in your contract as well. Have you received your copy meanwhile?"

"No, this is safe with Wladi."

"Please make sure that the taxes and social security are paid. It is all documented in your pay slip."

"Oh, we don't need this." Ilona beamed." We are working sustainable. No paper. No pay slips. All lean and very agile."

"So, you get your pay slip online?"

Ilona laughed. "No. We are working professionally. Trust based economy. No waste. Very sustainable, agile and lean."

"But Wladi sure pays taxes on your income?"

"Must he?"

"If he does not then you must. It depends on your contract. Let us have a look at it."

"Don't you trust me?"

"The longer we discuss the less I trust Wladi."