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Anyways, thank you for taking the time to read my work and I do hope that you've enjoyed it! I'm open to constructive criticism and will seriously consider any suggestions made about various story arcs. Please feel free to rate and comment on my work down below. If you like what I write, don't be afraid to follow and share, though your views, ratings and comments are quite enough for me.
In the meantime, this is C.H. Darkstrider, signing off to grab a beer and some quality time with the wife! ;) You will attain whatever you most desire, as long as you believe in yourself. Cheers!
- COMMENTS
Michael56Smith7 months agoA happy ending, filled with warm hugs, .... and Doctor Korsa's latest 'little one' is safe and sound, ... The Pereus crew doesn't yet know it, but they are now armed with much knowledge that will allow them to free Shazza's people, .... damn, but this group is going to really save the galaxy, ... wonderful story, thank you, ... ;-) ttfn
Michael56Smithover 1 year agoA good / happy no cliffhanger ending, ... and now Shazza can join the crew too, .... and the combined Perseus and Darkstrider crews can learn more about their ancient enemy, from knowledge freely given, .... and eventually they will defeat that enemy, .... and free the whole galaxy (now that's a worthy goal), .... ;-) TTFN
goo_neigover 1 year agoI think found another missing word.
In
"I'm with our captain on this. If Korsa is as strong in her mind as she is in her body, then we don't have anything to worry about. She'll be back and I almost pity whatever she faces that woman's mindscape,"
Missing "in"
like this :
"I'm with our captain on this. If Korsa is as strong in her mind as she is in her body, then we don't have anything to worry about. She'll be back and I almost pity whatever she faces in that woman's mindscape,"
goo_neigover 1 year agoYou missed a word. Here in chapter 10.
In
"How did you what was on my mind and that I'm a Doctor?"
Should be
"How did know you what was on my mind and that I'm a Doctor?"
firehorseukover 1 year agoGood. This chapter feels much more polished than the ones before. Much better internal dialogue, viewpoints and motivations.
In the previous chapters, I didn't like the sudden emotional jumps in the character that seem to happen for no apparent reason, making the characters behave like puppets for the author, as opposed to having a life of their own with their actions determined by their background and not the fancy of the author to fulfil a plot point. Happy to give examples if asked.
Michael56Smithover 2 years agoTen chapters in and we're getting to know this stories characters, and getting to really like them,.. we don't want to see anything bad happen to any of them, which now includes Shazza,.. Amazing! good job! thanks! ;-) TTFN
LinneaLundinabout 3 years agoI know I’m late to the party as far as commenting on this story, but I just have to say how much I enjoyed this story and this chapter in particular. I also love how you’ve rounded out Korsa’s character. She’s a great heroine and really amazing. I wouldn’t hate it if you spun her off into her own story so she could have her own adventures.
I can hardly wait to see where you take this one for the rest of the tale. No doubt somewhere awesome.
billtomlin60about 5 years agoYour writing is so great, I love how you incorporate various aspects of the mind (innocence, love, nightmares, etc.) to weave the story of one person helping another person out mentally. Well done!
