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Arcann Saubath paced in his quarters aboard the Stalwart as the ship was traveling through hyperspace. His gambit had failed, and he'd lost a great many men and agents that had been placed in the station. All he had to show for it was a ragtag fleet and maybe a piece of new tech, provided it was still intact.
The frigates that had the new pulsar cannons had taken some serious damage to their weapons batteries, which was not good news. He only hoped that at least one of these new weapons survived. He knew that the upper echelons of the Collective wouldn't be pleased at this, but at the moment, there was a slight advantage. If the Collective were to send a fleet to Veldhern now, they might be able to win the engagement.
That was a mighty big 'if' and no doubt his failure to secure the entirety of the third fleet would be looked down upon. Sure, they likely had the new pulsars, and if any of the cannons survived, it might not be seen as a total loss. Saubath only hoped that he'd get the chance to convince them to send a fleet. If they did, they would crush the remnants of the Veldhern defense fleets like ants beneath their boots.
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And that's where chapter 30 ends! This one took a while to craft, as it's much longer than what my standard chapter is, which I hope everyone enjoyed! So much coming together and more people becoming aware of who Alex and co. are! What will become of them? Will those who now know be considered friend or foe? What happens when news of them reaches the wrong ears? For that and more, stay tuned for additional chapters to come!
Anyway, thank you for taking the time to read my work and I hope that you've enjoyed it! I'm open to constructive criticism and will seriously consider any suggestions made about various story arcs. Please rate and comment on my work down below and ask me questions if you wish, as I love hearing from my fans! If you like what I write, don't be afraid to follow and share with your friends, though your views, ratings and comments are enough for me.
In the meantime, this is C.H. Darkstrider, signing off to grab a beer and some quality time with the wife! ;) You will attain whatever you most desire, as long as you believe in yourself. Cheers!
- COMMENTS
Michael56Smith8 months agoThoughtful: when the Darkstrider returns and they have lots of the materials at hand to finish the Perseus's restoration, ... might they then start to build a fleet of advanced warships, .... might they include an AI copy of Stanley in each new ship? they should have a number of allies to man these superior ships, plus the AI to aid / train the new crews, ... and Captain Dagan Min has several ships that are all well crewed, he could likely provide crewmen for 4 to 6 new ships of the Cruiser size, ... and Commadore Ana Williams could forward a fair number of trustworthy crewmen too, ... Alex can soon start building his improved and superior fleet, ... ;-) ttfn
Anonymous9 months agoThe overuse and misuse of the word “smirk” (in the entirety of the work). “Squeed” is uncommon and jarring to read. From the perspective of an American reader. I don’t know what your background is ch darkstrider.
Anonymousabout 1 year agoI knew better than to read the comments.
Why did he have to ask Jaesa for access to the armory? So he would have access. Shouldn't he have a palm print access to the armory? Why would you think that? I have not seen a single time they have used palm prints readers on the DarkStrider. If you read back, he even asked Jaesa for access to the armory on the perseus. Where were the other combat trained ladies at? They are in the villa. All the girls did not come up to the station. Inari peri and alex went up to get the materials needed. Jaessa went to accompany Taal'ani with her.......(I don't remember what they were going to do) They needed access and a remote hack would be too easy to track. I assume that Nats came up........ to be by Alex's side? I didn't really see a reason for her to come up. It would have been harmful to the story to have them all go to get the ore they ordered. It would have told the reader that a fire fight would be happening.
Need more information on the guy that yelled? How would the character whose POV it is know who the hell it was?
I understand wanting to see things from different perspectives, but during battle its going to be the same thing really. I'm not sure reading from Inari's perspective on clearing the docks would have added anything. I think it would have just been unneeded words.
And for the love of all things, stop comparing this story to another writer's work. Yes I have read that authors work along with others. Do I think that the other author is good? Yes! He is very good. But there are different ways to tell a story and this is a good way also.
Just what I think,
Buddy J.
Michael56Smithover 1 year agoDamn but Jaesa is an awesome asset to the crew, .... and this chapter had action and lots of sex, ... well done, ... I do wonder now if Jaesa (a copy) can create more of her, and Stanley too, and some upgraded sexbots and crew from Delilah as well, .... Should you man a few powerful fleets with these robo-babes, and a Stanley or two, and they might just be unstoppable, ... good story, more please, .... ;-) TTFN
firehorseukover 1 year ago"Damn! Jaesa, give me access to the armory, now!" Alex said as he raced for the elevator!
Sorry ... why does Alex need a remote Jaesa to give him access to the armoury?
Shouldn't the captain of the ship be in control of the armoury, Inari.
Shouldn't Alex have palm print access to the armoury?
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Where was Kasumi, Shazza and Korsa all highly combat trained during this fight? Where was Luminia, Aesha and Tahral?
You need to explain why they were not in the fight.
firehorseukover 1 year ago"Ladies, where the hell are you?" Alex's voice called in, laced with panic.
No. He's an experienced officer that should not panic under a small fire-fight. He should have trust in Natalya and Taal'ani because they are part of a crack team. With concern. Yes. Urgently. Yes. Panic - No. It makes him sound very inexperienced; like his first time in real fight.
"I could have, if I suited up with the Phalanx. But bringing that aboard the station, having to explain it to security and the like, wasn't something I thought was a good idea," he replied.
So security let him walzt through with his arms full of guns? - How did that happen? Would be good to document getting authorization from Williams etc. Any chance of guards recognizing Alex from previous activities? What about the guards reactions? Lots of details that could add flavour and realism being missed out.
"any reinforcements that Williams could provide won't get there in time!" - Why can Alex go from the dock with lots of guns and arrive in time while reinforcements don't arrive in time? No explanation. If the reinforcements where sabotaged then let the audience know. There is no need for the station staff to be so incompetent.
The Collective's will is all that matters!" the man yelled. Which man? The senior soldier? Not enough description of that quartet of men.
Why couldn't Williams lock down the station?
Any spaceship nearby to stop the shuttle?
Why can't the station cannons shoot and disable the shuttle?
Why can't Darkstrider stop the shuttle?
You need to work out the whole fight from everyone's perspective. What could each character do to make a difference? Don't have them sit there twiddling their thumbs waiting for your storyline. Make sure you have a plan of the location. Make sure all the distances travelled, shots fired are reasonable. Then you can write the story from which ever character's perspective you want to tell the story you want in the best possible light.
Is there enough detail for someone to draw a story board? If you can describe the scene to an incompetent set arranger (always makes the wrong choices unless you tell what to do) then you've probably got enough description. Its the feeling I get when I'm reading Tefler's stories. Very cinematic.
"You heard the lady. My schedule is full," Alex smirked as he followed Natalya, before putting his arm around her waist. Tanya seethed with envy,
'smirked' - smile in an irritatingly smug, conceited, or silly way. I don't think smirk fits the situation. "smiled happily", "smiled contentedly" or something along that line would fit better. Tanya seethed with envy, - why seething? Twinge of envy yes. hint of envy yes. seething is way too much emotion for someone just met in the middle of battle.
A general point of too many people yelling and shouting without a build-up. Its either normal talking or shouting and yelling. Very little in between. I'm looking for graduations of emotion and speech volume exploring the spectrum rather than on/off. That may or may not be true but that is the impression I get from the writing.
blkuserabout 2 years agoSo where was Korea, Lumina Tara and the honor guard during the ground battle?
C.H. Darkstriderover 2 years agoAuthor@bourbononice Anita Marino didn't survive the attack on the Perseus. It is implied and fact that Shazza took her pod and found a way to hack it so it would tbink she was Anita.
bourbononiceover 2 years agogood story but i was wondering what ever happened to Anita Marino the third person to survive in cryo? Chapter 2 or 3
