Prom Night Ch. 06

He blushed.

He was standing at Dominic's desk now. The nervous energy within him amplified tenfold—suddenly fearing not only that someone would see them but that at any moment Dominic might reject him. Absurd imaginings flowed through him, but for the first time, James Monaco ignored them.

As if knowing what his lover wanted, Dominic got up. They were eye to eye now; he peered at the door over James's shoulder. Seeing no one, his fingers reached out to the tie his teacher wore. He rubbed the pointed end of the burgundy silk a little, and James watched his fingers at work. When his instructor did nothing to stop him, Dominic made the decision he both knew they wanted.

Without a word, he went to the door and shut it and turned off the lights. Then he came back to James, grabbed the tie by its thickest part, and gently pulled his lover to the far corner of the room out of sight. Satisfied that any passerby might think he left his room to go to another part of the building, James couldn't stand it any longer.

He pinned Dominic against the wall and smashed their mouths together in a passionate kiss. Their tongues intertwined as Dominic clutched the tie tighter and pulled him closer. Their bodies ground together in a mix of sighs as they continued making out.

All doubts and insecurities about his job, his sexuality, and the future instantly vacated. All James could focus on was the pleasure of it all—the need to kiss him just one more time. He could feel his hard cock straining against the front of his pants and thrust his hips into his student. Clapping Dominic's back against the wall as he thrust against him.

Dom's body was warm with its response, pulling him closer than ever before. And when he felt his teacher's hardness poking into him, he made a point to reach down and rub his thumb over the tip of his bulge. The effect drove James wild, his breathing hitching as he rode the waves of pleasure from being petted. He could feel his cock slicking with precum.

Just when it felt like they would never allow themselves to stop, their breathing caught up to them. They parted lips with heavy chests, and James was briefly aware that he had moaned into their kiss. Their eyes opened, and both swallowed hard. Hands breaking away from each other.

"Fuck." James whispered.

Dominic nodded.

"We really can't do this here," James breathed. But no sooner had the words left his lips did he know they were in vain. If they couldn't control themselves for one day, that was the end of it. There would be no hope.

Seeing the hesitation return to his lover, Dominic roughly grabbed the back of James's head and pulled him in for another kiss. Feeling his fears melting again as their mouths met. He kissed him with care this time—slower and with greater need than to fuck. Aware that—regardless of whether or not he was gay or what his father or friends might think if he was gay—he needed to kiss James just as bad as James needed to kiss him. Whatever feelings were developing were hungry for each other's presence.

They broke apart again—this time slower—and both smiled more as their eyes met again. Both of them were still raggedly breathing, but any tension in either of them was gone. They stood locked in each other's arms like that for a little before James spoke. "The Gardenville Restaurant over in Hinkley—tomorrow night?"

Dominic nodded with a smile.

James nodded too, chuckling a little at his loss of control. This was beyond him, but somehow, it felt okay. "Six o'clock?"

"Yeah." Dominic silenced him with another long and slow kiss. When they pulled away, James stole another quick kiss, and they both laughed.

"Alright. It's a..." James nodded, and Dominic nodded in agreement. It would be their first date. Joy flowed through the older man. He swallowed, and then, as if realizing again where they were and what risks they were taking, he nodded. "You have to get to class."

He wrote his younger lover a late pass and watched him take it and go. Thankfully, only ten minutes had passed during their tryst. Dominic would be late but not late enough to raise too many questions. Then, when he was satisfied that their secret was safe—at least for a little longer—he set back to work. But something was different; James found himself pausing every few minutes trying to pinpoint just what it was. Finally, after twenty-minutes of nothing but the rhythmic ticking of the clock to fill the void of his test-prep period, he was comfortable enough to accept the answer.

He was starting to miss Dominic.

***

I was thankful that James had picked tomorrow night for dinner. I don't think I could have gotten a word in about picking up my brother Todd tonight if he hadn't. The rest of the day almost felt like a dream—like I was no longer Dominic Anderson but someone else entirely. Someone foreign to me who dressed like me and looked like me but was—

(In love?)

—an enigma I couldn't understand with a sexuality and feelings which confused me. I paused as I slid the key into my car's ignition after school, thinking about the word "love" and wondering why it had crossed my mind. Certainly, I cared about James—more than any student should ever care about his instructor—and I was looking forward to our first date.

But love?

I couldn't recall ever having been in love or even ever considering it as a feeling I felt before. You know...outside of familial love for my family. Instead of turning the key in the ignition, I looked at my reflection in the rear-view mirror. My eyes roaming the face of the stranger looking back at me. In a matter of weeks, everything that I thought about myself had been turned inside out, thanks to James Monaco. But was the person I was becoming someone who could fall in love with a guy?

I had no idea.

Nor did I want to allow myself to think too deeply into such heavy shit. I started the car, instead, and tried my best to continue on with my day. I stopped at home for a while and then, when Todd texted me that he was almost ready to come home, I headed over to John's house in Greensburg. Taking my time while I continued to mull over the past few weeks with James.

When I got there, I half-expected both Todd and John to be working in the garage together on his truck, but I was surprised that Todd was alone out front instead. He gave a wave as I pulled up and climbed into my battered Plymouth as soon as I pulled in the driveway.

"Thanks for the ride, man," he clicked his seatbelt on. His hands were still blotched with grease from—I guessed—working on the truck. As I looked at my brother, I could see he even had some in his sandy blonde hair. "John had to split; his girlfriend needed him to pick her up."

"Were you waiting long?" I felt bad for driving slower than usual.

"Not at all—maybe ten minutes."

"Gotcha." I nodded. Todd wreaked of early-summer sweat and diesel fuel; I could smell it as I merged the car on the highway. It made my mind trail back to James, remembering the scent of his sweaty body in the afterglow of our sex together. I stifled a blush, like a girl with a crush.

"So, enough about me; what's going on with you?" Todd eyes briefly studied me, then went back to the three lanes of open road before us. I couldn't even recall a word he had said before that. He had been bullshitting about college as I drove, but my brain was too much of a muck to listen to what he was saying.

I bit my lip.

Todd looked at me again. "You okay, man?"

Say something—anything! My mind begged. But words failed me. Finally, I managed, "Not a whole lot new here. Just the same old, same old, you know?"

My brother nodded, considering my words. Then, as if just remembering, he asked, "By the way, how'd it go with that chick on prom night?"

I said nothing.

"Come on, man, I'm not Mom. Tell me—are you still a virgin?"

I wanted nothing more than to pull over and run out screaming into traffic. Instead, I pointed to the nearest fast-food billboard. "Hey, are you hungry?"

Todd's hazel eyes lit up. "Congrats, dude! You guys go all night?"

"I think we should stop for some food. I'm going to pull off." I checked the right-hand blind-spot and quickly changed lanes to take the exit. I wasn't ready to talk about any of this with anyone, and now it seemed that I had fallen into an inescapable confrontation.

My brother just stared at me, watching as I maneuvered the Plymouth to the off-ramp and made for the Gino's roadside burger stand. He said nothing, as if he expected more from me about prom night. When I didn't offer, Todd sighed. "Alright, let's have a burger. But then we're going to have a talk."

We got our cheeseburgers and ate in silence at one of the paint-peeled picnic tables lining the paved lot. The rush of tractor trailers and countless cars could be heard in the distance, on a straight course for the setting sun on the horizon. And more than anything, I longed to be in one of them—any of them—just so I didn't have to face Todd's questions. I slurped on a chocolate milkshake with my meal, wondering how I'd further stave off his prodding about prom night, when he finally broke the silence.

"You didn't sleep with her, did you?"

I froze, locking eyes with him. I set my Styrofoam cup down and looked down at my cardboard tray.

"Dominic," Todd said gently. It was the first time in a while he'd addressed me by name. "Talk to me."

"No," I said simply. I couldn't look at him, but I couldn't eat anymore either. I picked at my half-eaten cheeseburger bun. "I didn't sleep with her."

"That's okay, man. You're bound to lose that V-card at some point. No need to rush it." I could almost hear his smile in his voice as he tried to smooth over our talk. When I still didn't say more, he asked me, "Do you remember that time I got kicked out of that summer program we used to go to?"

I raised my head to look at him. Todd was still staring at me, his face warm with his smile. I knew exactly which summer program he was asking about; it was summer daycare for elementary school kids. Our mother signed us up every summer five summers in a row, until Todd got kicked out for fighting. "Yes," I answered. "You were kicked out for fighting."

Todd nodded. "Right. But do you know why I was fighting?"

I picked some more at my cheeseburger bun and shook my head no.

"I got kicked out for protecting you," Todd told me. "That asshole kid—Carter something—used to steal pudding cups from your lunch when you weren't looking."

"I remember that," I said. "He used to eat half of it in front of me and then throw the other half on me." The memory made me laugh a little; our mother used to get so pissed thinking I was just playing with it.

"That's right," he said. "So one day, I decided to give Carter a taste of his own medicine. When he had the pudding cup, I shoved the whole thing onto his face. It was actually kind of comical watching him flail around throwing punches, blinded by chocolate pudding." For emphasis, Todd playfully moved his arms like Carter, and we both laughed.

I smiled.

"The point is, bro," Todd's gaze leveled on me, "I just wanted you to be able to eat your lunch in peace. I protected you then, and I'd do it again in a heartbeat. You're my brother." He paused, looked out at the highway again where motorists whistled by, and continued. "And I can tell when something is bothering you. So why don't we talk it out? I'm not Mom or Dad, and I'm definitely no cop. This is just us talking."

I opened my mouth to talk, stopped, and looked down again. Part of me wanted to talk to Todd—to have one person to confide in about all that was happening. But that same part of me that longed for someone to know also worried about James. The last thing I wanted was to ruin his life.

After a few moments of silence, Todd asked. "Is this about your V-card? Like I said, don't sweat it. Some guys don't get laid till they're in college."

"I'm not a virgin."

His eyebrows arched in surprise. "You mean you banged a different chick at the prom?"

"Not exactly..."

Todd's expression was blank for a little while, trying to piece it together. Finally, he leaned forward. "You mean...you and another dude?"

I nodded slowly.

"Talk to me," Todd said gently. "From the beginning."

"If I do that," I lowered my voice, "you can't tell anyone or judge me."

"Just who the fuck am I going to tell?"

I shrugged.

"Okay," Todd said. "I promise. Now, what's going on?"

I started from the beginning—trying to dance around the details as much as I could to protect James, only to understand that the more I hinted, the more Todd prodded. At last, I folded and left nothing out, explaining that I had spent the night with James. More specifically—that I had made the decision to spend the night with him.

"Holy shit," he shook his head, incredulous. "I've heard of this shit happening, but I've never known anyone who actually did it. You banged a teacher!"

"Not so loud," I hushed him. "It's...complicated."

"Complicated as in you enjoyed it?"

I hesitated for a few seconds and reluctantly answered. "Yes."

"That's not that complicated," Todd said. When I opened my mouth to argue with him, he held up his hands. "I mean, it's complicated because he can get in a shit ton of trouble... This shit is illegal in PA. But, you discovered something you like. Lots of guys do it."

"What do you mean 'lots of guys?'"

"John's had some experiences." Todd shrugged. "A month ago, at one of our frat parties, he swapped blowjobs with one of our frat brothers."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"So, you and John have...."

"What? No." Todd shook his head. "John's cool. But I never saw the appeal myself of the old eggs and bacon." He laughed. When he saw I wasn't amused, he continued. "The way I see it—you just discovered something new you liked. You had fun. Is that so bad?"

"I guess not..." I conceded. I looked around to see if anyone was close enough to hear us talking. Satisfied that the only other people were an elderly couple twenty feet away, I added. "But it's—"

"Complicated," Todd finished. "Okay. Let me ask this; do you like him?"

"I don't know if I'm gay or not."

"Forget gay," he said. "Do you like him?"

"Honestly?"

"Honestly."

"Yes..." My voice dropped lower.

"And does he like you?"

"Yes..."

Todd nodded, as if weighing everything. He didn't speak for a while. Finally, when he did, he shrugged. "Well, the way I see it, it was not a good thing to happen."

I started to speak, but he raised his hands again to silence me.

"But..." Todd continued. "You're eighteen, so you're an adult. And you're only a few weeks away from not being his student. So...even if it had to happen, there are way worse things that could have happened. As long as you two are happy together, why not?"

I smiled a little.

"But, if he's going to be a prick, he's going to have to answer to me. I hope you know."

I nodded. "It's just confusing because neither of us know what's going on."

"I get that." Todd ran a hand through his thick dirty hair. "So let me see if I can make it less confusing for you. You care about him."

"I do."

"And since this all went down, have you been feeling like this about any women?"

I shook my head.

"When you jerk off, what do you think about most of the time?"

I blushed.

"Him," he smiled, "gotcha." He let out a slow whistle—processing everything—and then looked me dead in the eyes. "One last question: would it be so bad if you are gay?"

I wanted to answer him, but I honestly couldn't think of an answer.

When I didn't speak, he asked me, "What's the worst that could happen if you are gay? You have a family who loves you and a big brother who would beat the shit out of anyone who tries to hurt you. What's the worst that could happen?"

"I..." I started, but I didn't know how to answer. The entire conversation seemed so logical to me and, yet, made me scared. Part of me wished I could go back—time travel to the days before prom night when everything made sense. But as soon as the thought occurred to me, I know I couldn't do that. I didn't want to go back to the days without James. "I...I don't know."

"You don't know because the worst that could happen is that you find love with another guy." Todd said simply.

We both sat in silence for a while as he let me process it. After a minute, I admitted, "That actually makes a lot of sense."

Todd cracked a smile. "I tend to do that; I attribute it to all the pot I smoke at school."

***

James Monaco's evening did not go quite as smooth as Dominic's. He called Caroline in between classes and asked her to join him for dinner to talk. He had had every intention of breaking it off with her, until she showed up with her bridesmaid Danielle. With the conversation too personal and too difficult to have in front of another person, he resolved to keeping things status quo for the time being.

"Honey, are you alright?" Caroline smiled at him above her martini. "You look like you have the world on your mind."

Danielle giggled, clearly drunk. And why wouldn't she be? He reasoned. She had three jolly ranchers before they were finished with their entrees. "He's just dreading the big day."

"Dreading?" James turned to her. They were seated in a small booth in the corner of Frank's Sports Bar, under one of the dozens of flat screen televisions tuned to ESPN.

"Every man dreads the day," Danielle said, "It's to be expected. One woman for the rest of your life and all that jazz." She waved her hand and took another swig of her latest drink.

James tried to think back on what exactly Caroline said Danielle did for a living. He thought she was a medical assistant; he did know she had been friends with Caroline since college. She certainly wasn't a therapist. He smiled to be polite.

"I don't think he's dreading it," Caroline smiled. She brushed back some of her short blonde hair, her blue eyes locking on his. "Are you, baby?"

He opened his mouth to answer his fiancé, but Danielle cut him off. "Of course he is," she giggled. "I know these things—been married twice so far."

James rolled his eyes. Yes, that makes you fucking Dr. Drunk—psychologist extraordinaire. He felt out of place and wanted to go. He wished Caroline had just come alone so they could talk, but it seemed that talking would not be in the cards. He thought again of Dom—wondering what he was up to—and said nothing.

Caroline flashed an apologetic look at him from across the table. Be nice, her eyes said to him. And James tried to be pleasant as Danielle went on.

"When is the big day, anyway?" She giggled some more.

"June 2nd," Caroline answered.

"You're in it," James said simply, pursing his lips.

Danielle turned to him, embarrassed. "Right. My bad."

"It's all good," James forced a smile.

For a beat, no one spoke at the table. Caroline watched her fiancé, and James tried his best to keep his expression neutral. But it wasn't working.

Finally, Danielle said, "I think I need the bathroom. Can I—"

Before she could finish her thought, James got up and let her out of the booth. Danielle stumbled a little before getting her bearings. Then she wandered in the general direction of the restrooms. Alone for the moment, James sat back down and returned Caroline's gaze.

"Can't remember the big day?"

Caroline rolled her eyes. "She had a little too much to drink."

"And she's being rude," James added.

"Don't start, baby. Please not now."

"I'm just sitting here," he said simply.

Caroline held up her hand. "It's going to be over soon, and then you and I can be alone." When he said nothing, she continued. "Come on, she's my best friend. And she just spent all afternoon with me helping with the dress alterations."