PUNKS Ch. 14: Sex Obsessed

May 1994

Joe found a message on his machine upon returning home from NYC. Jasmine had missed him over the weekend and felt badly her family's holiday barbeque would make two straight weekends they wouldn't hang out.

"I'm thinking of taking a personal day Friday," the message said, "That way I can come over Thursday and spend a couple of nights before I have to go to Moms. Let me know if that works for you. Love you."

"Love you?" Joe said to himself, because 'love you' was not her usual sign-off. He smiled at the thought, 'Jas must have really missed me.'

Of course, that plan worked for him, and it made Joe feel good that Jas would make a special weekday arrangement to see him; also not her usual thing. This was progress. For once, Jasmine was doing more than he'd come to expect.

When Jasmine arrived on Thursday evening, she wasted no time in jumping Joe's bones. The satisfaction Joe got from knowing this woman desired him so strongly was immense. Jas was genuinely into him, going way back before he was a middling rockstar. The crush has always been there. This fed Joe's belief there was a possible future with her.

For much of that night, he was expecting her to ask about New York, but she was focused on his flesh, the here and now. Very late at night, sitting together on the chaise on his balcony, she finally got to it.

"How was your trip?" Jas asked while running her silver nails through his hair.

"It was very good," Joe said, looking up at her. "I forgot how much I like being in New York. That city can suck hard, especially in winter, but there are times when it's the greatest place to be."

"What makes it that?"

"It has everything; culture, the food, the vibe of that city is intense at times. There's a vibrancy I don't feel in other cities. When I was young we'd walk the streets all night, go from diner to diner, ride the subway, and stay out til dawn. I didn't know it at the time, but they were the best years of my life."

"You're doing damn good now, baby," Jas laughed, "you have a good life. Walking city streets was better than the beach?"

Joe smiled at her take, "You're right. This is better than Manhattan, but New York is amazing."

I've never been," Jas said sadly, "It's on my shortlist."

"I'll have to take you someday."

"That would be great," her smile cut through the darkness, "having someone who knows the city."

"When I go back east it's usually for business," Joe said, "I'll have to make a special trip for us."

"I would love that." Then Jas got down to business. "Did you see Tina?"

Joe answered quickly, "I had lunch with her on my last day."

Jas noted his readiness, "How is she?"

"Sad," Joe said softly. "Sad that she doesn't see me anymore and pissed off at her husband."

"Ya know something - you never told me what his problems are."

Joe gave Jas a one-minute rundown of the charges Troy's facing, his arrogance, and the bullshit Tina has to deal with. It only took a minute because that was the extent of Joe's knowledge. Jas sat there quietly after he finished wondering if she should say what she was thinking, then she did.

"Someday, that girl's gonna wake up and smell the coffee. How can she put up with that shit?"

"She's a hardcore Catholic who believes divorce is against God's wishes. It's fucked up, I know. And she's a stand-by-your-man kind of woman. He's testing her resolve."

"Sounds like stand-by-the-wrong-man to me."

Joe quickly realized that telling Jas about Tina and Troy's problems only buttressed her opinion on Tina's future awakening. He probably should not have done that.

After months of trying to extricate himself from his past relationship with T, a genuine attempt to move forward with his life, Joe found himself right back in it with Tina. He was home in LA thinking about her and her gallery girls who he had so much fun hanging around with. Her blow jobs aren't cheating argument was complete bullshit, and Joe knew it, but he was fascinated by the idea. The moral dexterity required to take that seriously was impressive.

He knew what the score was. Tina wanted to keep him close. She wanted to suck his cock and had to devise a way she could explain why it was okay without admitting she was morally weaker than she liked to portray herself as. He was perfectly fine with her move. The power of Tina's blow jobs and the promise that she would do him when he visited her city had Joe planning more recordings in New York.

Guerilla Records had been using a ploy to entice bands to record with them. Marty occasionally sent east coast bands to Los Angeles to record with Joe, a free trip to California for the band. More often, Joe sent bands he found in the West to NYC for the same reason. He was now thinking he should be doing more of that.

-- MORAL FLEXIBILITY --

In his head, Joe had the philosophical debate around this blow jobs aren't cheating nonsense by taking both sides of the issue, free love versus the prudes. He did this to prepare for conversations he was planning to have with Tina. He loved pushing her morality buttons, and this free oral sex thing was a big red button. He just had to be careful to not trigger Tina's Catholic guilt. That could lead to her unsucking his dick.

Joe loved that she broke down her own barrier to suck his cock. She did it for him and for herself. It didn't matter to Joe. He had no qualms about having an affair with Tina. He wanted it. In his mind, Joe automatically sided with the cock suckers. He did what Tina did, building an argument to support a desired conclusion. These ideas filled his head in the days between Tina doing him in her office and their next phone call.

Tina sighed. "Okay, I'll bite. What's your big philosophical question?"

"If you've accepted the position that a woman sucking a man's cock as a favor is not cheating, is that man cheating by having his cock sucked?"

"Hmmm. I never thought of that. I guess you'd have to say no, just to be fair."

"So, if you found out Troy's receptionist was blowing him regularly, would you be okay with that?"

"If you asked me this a couple of years ago, I would have lost my shit over it. Now, after the mess he's caused us, I don't give a fuck what he does."

"So, if you were in a good marriage, you wouldn't give me head and think it's okay, not cheating."

Tina thought about it, realizing her position on the matter had as much to do with her marital mess as it did with wanting to be with Joe. "I don't understand why you're so intent on making this a moral debate. Can't we just have fun when you're in town?"

"Of course we can. But this fellatio is not a cheating thing blows up the entire construct of relationships, monogamy, and fidelity. It's fascinating to consider all the angles."

"That's so like you, to take something simple and make it a big social debate - as if it matters."

"Can you imagine if this were the accepted norm instead of just a thing we moral deviants considered?"

"A lot more dicks would get sucked," Tina laughed. "That's for sure."

"Here's what confuses me about your position on this; why can't I go down on you? You've assigned pussy a special status, a no-go zone. I can't do you a favor but you can do me. You don't see the unfairness in that?"

"I think it's just a blow job thing. I also think men would have a problem with their wives spreading their legs."

"Why? If a man can be orally serviced without guilt, why can't his wife get off too?"

"Joe, you're single. You've never been married. You don't understand." Tina paused. "Do you want me to be with another man, total oral freedom for all?"

"We're not married, T. It's not the same rules."

"But you love me, so it's the same emotions."

"These rules don't apply to single people," Joe said emphatically, "we're free agents."

"They apply, Joe. When there's genuine affection in the equation, they apply."

"You and I aren't married, T. You can't cheat on me."

"How do you feel about me sucking my husband's dick? Do you ever think of that?"

"No, why would I? I know you suck dirty Wall Street dick. It doesn't make me love you less."

"You're such a jerk," Tina said. "Why do you say things like that?"

"We only hurt the ones we love. Okay, you claim that when emotions are involved it gets complicated. You love me, right?"

"You know I do," T said softly.

"Would you have a problem if let's say... Casey sucked my cock - because you and I have an emotional connection?

Tina took a moment, pondering his query. "I think that would be more of a Casey issue than you getting your cock sucked."

"Why, she's single and I'm single. You're married. It's not reasonable for you to forbid that. Is it because she's your employee and friend?"

"Look at it this way. You're a musician. I know you've fucked women on the road. Do I make a fuss about it? No, but if you had sex with a woman I have to face every day, that would bother me."

"But it's just a blow job, T - not a big deal. It circles back to that standard that a woman can suck a dick and no one is cheating. If you accept that standard that oral sex isn't cheating how can you ban Casey from sucking my cock? You're not being consistent."

"Are you playing an angle," Tina said curtly, "trying to get permission for Casey to suck your cock?"

"No, I just used her as an example, but that would be amazing. I bet she's an eager beaver."

"That's enough. This debate is over. She's too young for you."

"She flirts pretty hard when I'm there and you're not around."

"She flirts with you under my nose."

"That's nothing, we're just playing, to rile you up."

"Casey is not sucking your dick. Get that out of your head."

"Now that you put it in there, that's gonna be tough."

"I didn't put it in there."

Joe laughed. "Yeah, you did."

"I have to get back to work. Bye, Joe."

Joe laughed out loud after Tina hung up. This was his favorite part of their friendship, getting her riled up. He knew she'd be thinking about what he just said about Casey for the rest of day, and possibly beyond. It was confirmed in an email.

-- May 26, 1994 7:42 AM EST

Since Monday's talk, when you put the image of Casey giving you head in my mind, I haven't been able to shake that thought. I feel a twinge of jealousy, suspecting you really want that and how awkward it would be for me to have my employee in a sexual relationship with you. After a couple of days, my thinking began to evolve.

That started after I thought back to you telling me stories of other women you'd been with and how horny that made me. Then my imagination took off. I fantasized about what your big cock would do to that petite girl. I was turned on. I could not believe how hot those thoughts made me.

Damn you, Joe! That was a joke, right?

Love, T

-- May 26, 1994, 7:01 AM PST

Of course it wasn't a joke. Men imagine women sucking their dicks. It's what we not-so-secretly do. I'd be willing to make your fantasy come true, if that's what you're asking, and Casey was willing.

Love, J

-- May 26, 1994, 11:55 AM EST

I didn't say anything about that being my fantasy. I just wanted to tell you where you put my head this week. It occurred to me that I still look at Casey as the college kid I hired a few years ago, so young and in some ways naive. You never saw her that way. You see her as mature and sexy. Now I'm seeing what you see in her.

It's your fantasy, not mine, and you're the one who brought it up, not me.

Love, T

-- May 26, 1994, 1:12 PM PST

Now that you've told me you're fantasizing about my big cock pounding Casey's little pussy, it's definitely my fantasy. How cool is it that we have the same fantasy? Someone needs to tell Casey. Maybe it's her fantasy too.

Love, J

-- May 26, 1994, 4:45 PM EST

Don't even think about telling Casey about this conversation. That's not even a little funny.

-- Safe Down Here --

Late Sunday evening of the holiday weekend, after two days with her family, Jasmine showed up at Joe's doorstep unexpectedly. He was surprised and happy to see her.

"I thought you were spending the night in Brentwood?"

"I had to get out of there. Mom's upset that I drove. I had a few beers the whole day, I'm fine, but I'm ready for some serious alcohol."

"Is everything okay?"

"It's fine. The day didn't go as well as I hoped. Make me a drink and I'll tell you about it."

Joe led Jas into the dining room and opened his liquor cabinet. "What are you having?"

"Don't mix, just give me a bourbon on the rocks."

"Basil Hayden's it is."

While Joe dropped ice in a tumbler and poured whiskey, Jas started her Memorial Day barbecue tale.

"Saturday was great. Mom and I cooked all day and cleaned the house. Dad mowed the lawn and we helped him set up the backyard. It was nice. We talked a lot. We had done enough cooking so we ordered pizza for dinner. I had a couple of beers with Dad watching the Dodgers game."

Joe handed Jas a double bourbon because he sensed she needed it.

"Thank you, baby." Jas kissed Joe on the cheek and took a big sip. "Janice is always early to parties. The first to arrive, because god forbid she miss something. She came up to me with all smiles and hugs and asked how I am. 'I never see you. You spend all your time down there."

"Here?"

"Yeah. She couldn't say Venice, just down there." Jas rolled her eyes. "I don't want to tell her a damn thing about us. She can't be trusted. So I just said I'm great and Joe and I have nice weekends in Venice. Then she asked if you were coming to the party."

"Pffft, she knew I wasn't coming." Joe said, "She just wanted to make you explain it."

"I know." Jas took another sip. "So I said you weren't coming, no explanation. Then she asked another question she knew the answer to. 'Does your Mom know about you and Joe?"

"Passive-aggressive bitch."

"Joe, I wanted to scream. There are like seven people at the party. We're ten minutes in, and I'm already pissed off at Janice. I looked at her and said, 'You know she doesn't unless you told your mom and she told my mom."

"What did she say?"

"Nothing. We stared at each other and then I said I had to help Dad with something. I didn't speak to her for the remainder of the day. The thing is, I didn't have a terrible day, I just got sick of answering the same questions. Is Joe coming, does Merideth know about you and Joe?"

"Who was asking?"

"The girls. They each pulled me aside to ask, so that means they know I'm keeping it on the down low. So why ask?"

"Maybe they're just being nice and showing concern."

"Denise, for sure. Rene, maybe. I just think the others wanted to give me shit because I don't see them much anymore."

"And that's not right," Joe said. "You know how I feel about that. They're your best friends. You should see them. I feel bad that you don't."

"Joe, all they want to talk about is us, and I can't trust anyone to keep my words in confidence, except Denise. She's on my side and I trust her. She's the only one I've seen lately."

"I like Denise. She's always nice to me."

"They all asked, and I answered politely, but I was annoyed. Denise didn't ask if you were coming, she asked how you were, and how we were, and I was happy to tell her. She knows our deal and she's not playing these gossip games. She caught me inside and we sat in the kitchen and talked. Denise hopes we can figure out a way to get you out of my closet, her words."

"Is that it? That's what got you worked up?"

"No, my Mom teased me about not having a man, 'How can my gorgeous, successful, kind daughter be without a man?"

"Ouch."

"Everyone is staring at me. Those who know about us were really focused on what I'd say."

"What did you tell her?"

"That half the single girls here don't have a date, will you embarrass them too? Then I got teased for not taking a joke. It wasn't yet three o'clock and I was ready to leave and come straight here."

Joe scrunched his nose, "You know how I can wind myself up sometimes with my sensitivity? Did you do that to yourself today? You were kinda dreading this party. That's the vibe I got Friday."

"I admit, I wasn't thrilled to be there, because I knew what was going to happen."

"Well, I'm sorry you had a rough day, but you're safe now, with me, down here."

Jas laughed a little, "Is 'down there' gonna be your new joke?"

"Where do you live?" Joe said. "Down there."

"Thank you, baby." Has kissed him sweetly on the lips. "I always feel safe down here."

Jas spent the night and the Monday holiday with Joe, drinking coffee and reading the newspaper on the beach, cooking and fucking, more than making up for any lost time. Joe pondered her complicated family and friends' situation. He knew Jas was paying a personal price for being with him. He felt bad about that, but her life is her call, and he hoped that someday they could figure it out.

******

Tina called Joe the morning after the Monday holiday. She would not be cheated of her weekly long-distance lunch date with Joe. Tina was very happy that their Monday call was a thing again.

Joe went straight for the jugular, "Are you still fantasizing about Casey sucking my dick?"

"Ha ha," Tina said sarcastically, "No, I got over that."

"No, you didn't. You know she's exactly my type, right?"

"Yes, Joe. I think you tell me every time you visit just to make me uncomfortable."

"I've told you about my days on the road, how overly confident, aggressive, punk chicks never attracted me. My favorites are the smart, modest girls who don't know the heat they're packing. You were one of them in college, T. That's why I fell in love with you."

"And you think Casey is one of them."

"I know she is."

"I will admit that modesty is one of her best traits." Tina said, "You once joked that Casey has no clue how hot she is. She's the same with her career potential. She doesn't realize how good she is. That humility is what keeps her head straight. It drives her to study and work because she doesn't assume things will come easily."

"You've always been a champion for the good kids, the hard-working and underappreciated. Most of your artists fit that mold, the underdogs."

"Yeah, I do have a soft spot for the underdogs. Casey went to NYU on a full scholarship. Her family could never have afforded it. Everything she has was earned. I admire her for that. It's one of the reasons I hired her. She has no silver spoon."

Joe sighed, "Her shyness is adorable, and the blushing..."

"I know, Joe." Tina interrupted. "You love to make her blush. There's no need to talk her up to make me jealous. I'm over that."

"No, you're not, T. You've grown since the days we were together, I'll give you that, but that jealousy gene is still there. Maybe it goes dormant from time to time, but deep down, it's there."

"Whatever you say." Tina dismissed his point, "Anyway, I gave Casey a nice raise Friday morning."

"Because of us talking about her?"

"Yeah, because you made me reassess her and I realized that I had been taking Casey for granted. I told her she's doing a wonderful job and everyone loves her."

"I wish I saw her blushing face when you said that."

"Jenna and I love her. What's messed up is, before our talk on Monday, I don't think I ever fully appreciated all these thoughts I have on Casey. You put the image of her sucking your cock in my head, and I then saw her more as a grown woman than the kid I hired out of college."

"I'm so excited that I can now tell Casey that I got her that nice raise... and she owes me, big time."

"You are not doing that," Tina said sternly. "don't include my business in your fun and games."

"If I told her that, would I be lying?"

Tina did not answer that question. She swiftly changed the subject by appealing to Joe's ego, a tactic he uses against her all the time.