PUNKS Ch. 15: Coast to Coast

July 1994

Joe sat in his studio wondering what was up with Jasmine. He'd been home for three days and she hadn't called. He decided to invite her over for the Fourth of July weekend, just to be sure things were okay. Normally, her spending the weekend was implied. They rarely made plans. Jas simply showed up every Friday. With his trips back east and her family commitments, that routine had been disrupted.

After getting caught up over the phone, Joe was relieved when Jas laughed and said, "Don't be silly, of course I'm coming down there. I missed you, and I need a cup of Joe. I can't stay on the holiday. My uncle has a big party on the fourth. I can't miss that."

When Jasmine arrived on Friday, she wrapped her arms around Joe in the kitchen and kissed him. "How's my baby? Did you miss me?"

"I did," Joe said, "I'm glad you're here."

"Me too. I'm sorry I didn't call. I was busy planning this fundraiser, on top of doing my regular job. I worked late every day this week."

"Would you like a drink?"

She noticed Joe had a pint of beer. "I'll take one of those."

Joe went to the fridge, popped open a bottle of Sierra Nevada, and poured it into a frosted pint glass. He handed it to Jas.

"How was your trip?" She asked before taking her first sip.

"Good."

"Did you see Tina?"

"We had lunch."

"How is she doing?"

Joe exhaled, "It's a lot of drama with her. She's stressed and trying to work shit out."

"I'm sure she was happy to see you."

"Yeah, she was." Joe said softly, "T likes my energy."

"You're energy?"

"Yeah. Like a vibe."

"She likes your vibe?"

"You have a vibe, Jas. We all have a vibe. It's the energy we give off, the way we treat people, the emotions and feelings we exude."

Jas leaned back. "Are you stoned? That's some hippy shit you're dealing."

"C'mon. You know what I'm talking about. Some people have a vibe that jives with us."

"A vibe that jives?"

"Jas, when you walk into a room, it changes. Suddenly, half the people in the room are checking you out. It's the energy you bring with you, and you're smoking hot."

Jasmine scrunched her nose, staring at Joe, deciding how to respond, not sure what bullshit he was peddling. Joe smiled. He managed to change the topic from his visit with Tina to Jas' energy, and he had her attention. Flattery sometimes worked on Jas.

"You do the same," she said, reaching to touch Joe's face.

"Do what?"

"Change a room when you walk into it," her hand moved back, through his hair, and over his ear. "I'm familiar with this energy Tina likes." Jasmine looked into Joe's eyes. "I'd like some of that right now."

Her hand went behind his neck. "You have a good soul. That's where your energy comes from." She pulled him in for a kiss, and then another. "What do I smell?" Jas asked after the third kiss.

"Dinner."

Joe led her into the kitchen and removed the lid of his cast iron Dutch oven. "Italian sausage soup. I made a Caesar salad and picked up some crusty bread."

Jasmine took the spoon and scooped a sample. She put the spoon to her lips. "Mmmmm, ouch," she started fanning her mouth with her hands. "Mmmmm, okay, that's hot," she said with a mouthful, sucking in air to cool her mouth.

"Are you five? Of course it's hot. Look." Joe pointed at the broth, "It's bubbling. I was just about to lower it to simmer."

"Oh my God," Jas swallowed, "that's really good and it's really hot."

"Let me get you another beer."

Jasmine laughed, "That was dumb."

"Yeah, it was." Joe popped the top of another bottle.

"How was the recording?"

"We got it done." Joe reached into the fridge. "The band is great, but they're a little unfocused. I don't know if they have the work ethic to succeed."

"What's their problem?"

"They're stoners. I have no problem with that, but these guys wake-n-bake and are stoned most of the day. Benny, the lead singer and guitarist goes off on tangents. He can't stay focused but his mind is going a hundred miles per hour. The other three just slow down, a mellow high, while he's spinning. We had a couple of disorganized days."

"Hey," Jas changed the subject, "I'm sorry about Monday. The fourth is a big day for my family."

"You don't have to explain, Jas. I can handle a solo day at the beach."

"There is something I wanted to tell you. I'm taking a date to the cookout."

Joe shot Jas a 'what the fuck' look, "Didn't I just say you don't have to explain?"

"But I want you to know what's happening," Jas explained. "He's just a guy I've seen a few times. We went out Saturday night and I asked if he wanted to go. I figure I can get Mom off my back if she meets a guy I'm dating."

Joe laughed, "I get it. He's your beard."

Jas furrowed her brow. "My what?"

"Your beard."

"What the hell does that mean?"

"It's a term used for people living secret lives, in the closet," Joe explained, "I know a guy in the music business, Larry. He's very gay. He hit on me years ago, because for some reason he thought I might be into that. I'm not, but Larry and I are cool, sort of friends."

Jasmine laughed, "Tell me more about gay Larry hitting on you."

"No, Jas. It's not a joke. Larry is a very nice older man. He just had the wrong idea about me. I like him and won't make him the fool in a dumb story. It was just a misunderstanding."

"Okay," Jas put a hand up, "I'm sorry."

"Your friends used to bag on that queer crew at The Wilshire. It wasn't your finest moment. They were good dudes."

Jas didn't respond to that because she was as guilty as any of her friends.

"Larry worked for BMG and Sony, corporate jobs making big bucks, but he's not out of the closet. Larry's been married to a woman for I don't know how many years keeping his true sexuality a secret. His wife is a lesbian, also with a corporate job trying to keep her secret. I've met Pamela and her lady friend. Pam is very nice. Larry is her beard. She is also Larry's beard. I don't know why they use the word beard, but that's what it means. It's a partner you show in public to disguise your true self."

Jas leaned back, "That's sad. I'd hate to be so afraid to be open about..."

"But you are!" Joe interrupted loudly. "You're taking a date to a family cookout to present to your mother so you can keep your dirty little secret... that you're fucking me!"

Joe stared at Jasmine, immediately wishing he hadn't said those words in that tone. This could kick their weekend off on the wrong foot. She stared back, his words sinking in, but what could she say? Joe was one hundred percent correct.

She nodded, "Okay. I'm sorry."

"No," Joe put his hand on Jas' arm, "don't apologize. I'm not upset, I'm just telling it like it is." Joe's mind worked quickly to find the words to save the moment. "You're doing what you must to manage your family. That's entirely your call. I don't judge you."

"But you wish you weren't my secret," Jas said softly.

"Yeah." Joe nodded, "I do wish I could be in your family."

Jas didn't have more words on the subject, but Joe did. He wanted to say this a while back but chose not to. This was the perfect time to have it said.

"I know what our deal is, Jas. You've made it perfectly clear. The thing is, you seem to feel you must occasionally remind me that we're not exclusive. I know you're dating other guys. You don't have to tell me about them. It's okay."

"Does that bother you?"

"No, I don't give a fuck about shitty kisser Marcus of your college boyfriend you went to the Alumni Prom with. I'm not jealous. I just don't need to know."

Jas nodded. "Okay. I was just trying to be transparent."

"Why? As long as we're good when we're together, I don't care what happens out there." Joe pointed to the world.

That's what Joe really wanted to say. With him getting his dick sucked in New York, he didn't want to be in the transparency game with Jas. She did not need to know about his back east affairs, and he told her so by telling her he doesn't need to know about her LA flings.

"I still feel bad keeping you in my closet." Jas said, "You and my dad would be great."

"Maybe someday," Joe said, "As long as your fucking me in your closet, I'm not complaining."

Jas wrapped her arms around Joe. "Thank you for keeping my life uncomplicated."

Joe almost laughed, The notion that her life and their relationship were uncomplicated was ridiculous. He was okay that Jas had that delusion. It made things less complicated for him.

After dinner, they walked to the beach and strolled barefoot in the surf carrying their shoes, covertly smoked a joint, and stopped for a drink at The Surfside to visit with the neighbors. When Joe chatted too long with one of the oldtimers, Jas pinched his ass, then reached under the bar to remind him they had other plans.

Back home they didn't wear clothes the rest of the night. They made cocktails and fooled around in almost every room including the balcony. It was the same as it ever was, chill.

*****

Joe received an offer to sit in during a recording session in Chelsea with an old friend from his young punk days. It was an easy opportunity to spend time in the city and keep his winning streak with Tina alive. So he jumped on it. He called T to let her know he'd be in town next week. She was delighted.

"Three straight months," She said, "this is unusual. Who are you playing with?"

"Jada Jones," Joe waited for a reply. The name would surely bring back memories.

"Is she still around? I haven't heard that name in ages."

"And she still looks amazing," Joe added, "but the Mohawk is gone and she doesn't

dress like a punk commando anymore."

"What about her music?"

"It's not as hardcore as it was. Jada has mellowed a bit."

"I never really liked her." Tina finally said what Joe knew she was thinking.

"That's because she fucked me before we met and she never let you forget it."

"Is she single?"

"I wish she was, T. Sadly, Jada is married and has a kid."

Tina was happy to hear that and got the conversation back to the business at hand. "Tell me about your visit. What's the plan?"

"Before you get too excited, I fly in on the redeye Thursday. I'll only be in town for a few days. I fly back early on Monday."

"Will you have any free days?"

"I'll be in the studio Thursday, Friday, and part of Saturday. I can't say what hours I'll be free because I'm not in charge of this project. My evenings are wide open, and I have all day Sunday open.

"I'm not available for evenings. It's hard to get away after hours."

"I'm sorry, T. I'm doing what I can. It would be nice to see you but that's all I have. I just wanted to let you know I'll be in town."

"You should call me before you book your flights," Tina suggested, "we could plan something if you're not already locked into an itinerary."

"T, I'm already flying cross country. You want me to work around your life, but you can't get away for a few hours in your free time? You don't see a problem with that?"

"I'm sorry. It's just hard to get away in the evening. I rarely go out on weeknights, so when I do it's unusual and he asks questions. Last time you were here I got home late and he wanted to know everything."

"What did you tell him?"

"I was with Jenna, and she'll cover for me if it comes to that."

"Still, I'm doing the three thousand miles. You could at least take a subway to meet me across town."

"I'm sorry, Joe. If you can, please give me as much notice as possible when you know you'll be free, and I'll do my best."

"As I said, any evening and Sunday are the best chance."

Joe wasn't trying to be difficult, but when Tina asked him to do more, like talk to her before booking flights, it didn't land well with him. Isn't he doing enough flying to New York? Why can't she carve out a few hours of evening or weekend time?

This was a topic of a few of their Monday talks, him being alone in her city on weekends when she was just a subway ride away. Joe expressed his frustration, Tina apologized, rinse and repeat. They had so little time together Joe didn't want to make these annoyances bigger than they were. She was after all cheating on her husband for him, and that's not nothing.

He was enjoying this new phase of his relationship with Tina, but in his quiet moments alone he pondered how he got himself into the precise situation he spent months trying to avoid. Joe was in a long-distance extra-marital affair distracting him from his goal of moving on from his past and finding a future with someone like Jasmine. The problem was, while his relationship with Jas was great, it wasn't progressing as he had hoped.

It was complicated.

It dawned on Joe that Jasmine's no-strings-attachment made it easy for him to play his games in New York without guilt. She was seeing other men, he had his fun back east, and there was no reason to have those worlds clashing.

*****

On the Friday of his NYC visit, Joe found himself a free man in Manhattan after a morning studio session and lunch with his friend and client Jada Jones. He showed up at the gallery just after 2 PM unannounced. Casey greeted him with a smile and a hug. She held that hug for a long time. Joe breathed in her hair, her perfume, and whatever products Casey used. He enjoyed her for a moment. When she released him he flashed her a slight smile of approval. Casey noticed.

"You smell very nice. Do you give all gallery guests this special treatment?" he asked.

"No, just friends." Casey smiled and returned to her desk.

Joe leaned on her new desk. "I see the boss lady ditched the podium and hooked you up with some new furniture."

"Yes, and thank you for that." Casey smiled. "I overheard you teasing her about me standing like the palace guard all day. After that visit, she asked if I would like a tall chair for my podium. I suggested a desk and chair, and she approved."

"Very nice. I guess she listens to me. You got a raise and a new desk."

"Yes, thank you. Tina definitely values your opinion." Casey noticed Joe's empty hands, "what, no gifts today?"

"So that's how it is." Joe shook his head. 'I knew it. It's all about the treats I bring. I'm not good enough unless I bear gifts."

"No," Casey said, "we just like that you do that for us."

"Maybe you're taking my gestures for granted."

"No." Casey pointed at him. "you're just trying to make me feel bad. I don't think you realize how much the trolls in the dungeon appreciate your visits."

"Because I buy the ogres food."

"Because you're nice to them," Casey said. "It's not just that you bring treats, Joe, it's how you serve them. You'll toast our bagels for us, and you'll chat, and make everyone know that you care."

"I do care, and now I feel like shit that I didn't bring treats."

Casey laughed, "Oh my God, did I just win?"

"I think you did," Joe said. "So, is she in?"

"No, she's meeting with clients at the World Trade Center. It was a fancy luncheon followed by a tour of the new offices they're hiring her to help decorate."

"Is she coming back?"

"I don't know," Casey said, "but I doubt it."

"Is Jenna in?"

"No, she's teaching a class off-site."

"I guess it's just you and me," Joe smiled.

"I'm leaving early for an appointment," Casey shrugged, "sorry."

"Oh man, I struck out on three pitches. I guess I'll hang around for a little while in case T comes back."

"That's fine."

"I'm gonna visit the dungeon for a bit." Joe walked off, "I'll be back."

He wandered down to the basement to say hello to the artists in the studio. The ogres also noticed he did not bring gifts. When Joe visited he enjoyed checking out what the artists were working on, asked questions, and cracked dumb jokes. Fifteen minutes later he returned to Casey's desk

"Who's going to guard the palace when you leave early?"

"Brittany. She works weekends, but she'll be here shortly to cover for me."

"Is Brittany as cute as you?"

"Do you think Tina would hire her if she wasn't attractive?"

"Good point," Joe scrunched his nose, "you hot chicks get all the breaks. It's not enough that you're gorgeous, you get preferred treatment in the labor market."

Joe walked over to a row of stylish chairs used for waiting guests. He dragged one over to the side of Casey's desk and sat down.

Casey smiled, happy that he took a seat to chat with her. "Did you just call me a hot chick?"

"Yeah, you know you are." Joe nodded, "look at you."

Casey blushed, which was Joe's intention. "Thank you. You're sweet."

"Not as sweet as you. So, should I hang around and meet this cute Brittany?"

"She's not your type?" Casey said.

"What does that mean?"

"She's not fun. I like her fine, but Brit is too serious. She tries so hard to be perfectly professional. It comes off as stiff." Casey leaned in, "She's kind of an ass-kisser too. It's sad really."

"Oh My God," Joe laughed, "listen to you throwing the competition under the bus."

"I did no such thing." Casey protested, "What do you mean competition?"

"She's the weekend hostess, right? That's a part-time gig."

"Yes."

"Do you think she'd rather have your shift when the boss lady is here?" Joe leaned in. "Butt smoochers like it when the boss is around."

Casey laughed, "Brit does go out of her way to kiss Tina and Jenna's ass, but she has another job, part-time on weekdays."

"I bet Brit would prefer a secure full-time gig, and you know it too, so you're keeping an eye on her."

"I am not."

"You just gave me the lowdown on Brit: not fun, too serious, tries too hard, and kisses ass." Joe paused with a smile, "you're totally keeping tabs on the competition."

"Whatever you say, Joe. I like Brittany. She and I are fine."

"Yes, you are." Joe said wistfully, "It's nice to know Tina takes my advice. She asks my opinion often but I suspect it's just her talking, not serious."

"She listens to you, Joe." Casey said, "After you suggested she cut ties with those investors that made her life miserable, she did it."

"Really," Joe smiled, "I did not know that."

"She told us you said if they're such giant assholes everyone will understand why she dumped them and they can't hurt her."

"I did say something like that."

"And you were correct. No one gave a damn when they threw a tantrum over her backing out of the deal."

"Good for T. You have to stand up for yourself when people are abusive. Bullies only pick on people too weak to fight back."

"She's very happy to have you as a friend. The difference in her mood has been night and day compared to a few months ago."

Joe nodded. "We talk for hours on the phone sometimes, about all sorts of stuff. It's crazy sometimes."

"Yeah, we hear about it sometimes."

Joe shook his head, "T has loose lips. I just assume she tells you and Jenna everything."

"I think you're right; like her telling me that you talked about us going on a date."

"Us?" Joe's eyes got wide, "me and you?"

"Yeah. Tina and I went out for drinks. Jenna was in Boston visiting Steve. You know how she is after two drinks, she gets chatty, and her favorite subject ..."

"Is sex," Joe completed the sentence.

"Yes. We were talking about sex and she mentioned that you said something about me and she thinks you want to go on a date."

"Tina told you that?"

"Is she lying?"

Joe didn't answer. He just looked at Casey wondering where this conversation was going.

Casey nodded. "I was flattered, then I said 'That's never going to happen, you'd fire me.' and she said, 'Maybe not."

"What the fuck is going on in her pretty little head?"

"Are you saying you didn't suggest that?"

"No, I made a comment about you, something nice, and we kind of got crazy with it."

"Was it dirty?" Casey whispered. "What did you say?"

"I was teasing her."

"Oh. So you weren't serious?"

"I didn't say that. I was teasing Tina by telling her what I was thinking."