PUNKS Ch. 32: Just Own It

That was a lot, Joe thought. Tina owned the first move of the cocktail hour. Out flanking Mila to strike Joe first. As Tina led them to the far end of the bar he saw Jenna. Now it was his turn to regret his invitation. It's a trap! The Death Star is in the building!

Joe shared an uncomfortable glance with Jenna as they had claimed four stools on the corner. Tina knew Joe loves 'riding the corner' of any bar because it facilitates conversation. He hugged Jenna without a word, then turned to Mila who was waiting for him to decide where he'll sit. "Mila, this is Jenna Martin. Jenna, this Mila."

Mila extended her hand. Jenna took it. They smiled. Jenna had the end stool. Tina the opposite end. Joe had to make a quick calculation, sit beside Jenna or Tina? It seems like a small matter, but he knew it would be analyzed by the women. Joe sat beside Jenna. Mila took the stool beside Tina. The couple was sandwiched between the two women who were there to scrutinize them.

Mila ordered wine, Joe his usual, Tina the same, and Jenna her usual. Then Joe said, "Fuck it, give me Sam Adams draft and a shot of..." He focused on the booze selection behind the bartender. "Makers Mark."

"Bourbon is not your friend, Joe," Tina reminded him. "Shots and beers never end well."

Joe laughed, "And martinis lead to bad decisions. All the more fun."

There was an awkward silence. Joe broke it by saying, "This place is pretty cool." and then pointing out the books and chess tables. "I had no clue this place existed."

When drinks arrived Joe raised his whiskey, "Here's to surprise visits."

He downed the shot and took a big drink of beer. The women sipped.

"Seriously, Joe," Tina turned to him. "Did you intend on checking in with me while you were here?"

"I didn't come here to explain myself. I hadn't booked a return flight, so I didn't know long I'd be in town. I wasn't sure if I'd have time."

"How long have you been here?"

Joe rounded down. "A week." It was nine days.

She made a face at Mila as much as Joe.

"Look, I flew here on late notice to deal with this fabricated scandal. I didn't know how long I was staying. I suppose I should have at least told you, and for that I am sorry." Joe smiled, "We posed for paparazzi on purpose, T. It's not like I could hide it from you."

Tina looked at Mila. "Whenever he comes to town we always have lunch. It's our thing."

Joe turned to Tina. "If she's available. Sometimes she's on a second honeymoon."

That was a good play by Joe, establishing that they didn't always get together and she was being unreasonable and dramatic. He put Tina on defense.

Tina sighed "I missed him a few times last year, ya know, life and business. We always try. I'm sorry I was emotional about this. It was dumb."

Joe smiled over his pint glass. "Dumb emotions are what we do best, T."

After that, Tina teased Joe about the paparazzi scene expecting him to tell the story, but Joe called the bullpen. Mila told the story of her workplace drama and how she and Joe handled it. Joe enjoyed listening and watching Tina react to Mila's charming Calalonian way, mixing up some English words and terms. Joe watched Tina watch Mila as she told the story.

When Mila finished her story and explained the magazine will have a piece in August to put the story to rest, Jenna asked why she was so sure. Joe answered.

"Because Levine doesn't want our story told from the beginning any more than I do."

"I see," Jenna nodded.

"Do you remember that incident?" Mila asked Tina.

"You mean my boyfriend being arrested for assaulting a gay man? I was grateful I stayed home that night."

Mila looked at Jenna. "So, you have been best friends for many years?"

"Yes," Jenna nodded, placing her glass down. "T was two years ahead of me at NYU. I met her the first week of my freshman year. And Joe was the third wheel."

"Yeah, right," Joe said. "That's what I was, the odd one."

"We were all best friends," Tina said, "And we still are, when someone decides he wants to be." She side-glanced at Joe.

Joe had told Mila a little more about Tina beforehand, and he mentioned Jenna in his pre-cocktail briefing, so she wouldn't come in blind. He didn't know Jen would be present. He was just filling Mila in on his NYC friends.

When Mila asked Tina about her gallery, the three women chatted about art and business. When Tina mentioned her plans to transition into fashion, the three women were off to the races discussing clothing, handbags, shopping, and jewelry after Jenna complimented Mila on her dangly earrings.

It was like watching a three-way tennis match. Joe's head moved left and right as the women spoke, with him not saying a word. He was okay with that because the less he said the less likely he'd get in trouble. Every time he looked at Tina, seated ninety degrees from him, her eyes met his. Joe watched her and Mila closely, looking for clues, wondering how they were feeling about this meeting.

Tina gestured to Mila's cow pattern heels, "Those are crazy. Where did you get them?"

"There's a designer in Madrid who does a lot with hides; shoes, belts, and handbags."

"Oh my god," Tina smiled. "Your belt matches."

"Yes. I have a bag he designed too."

While Mila told Tina about this designer in Madrid, Joe leaned close to Jenna at his right. "Is this as weird for you as it is for me?"

"I didn't want to come," Jenna whispered. "She pressured me into it."

Tina then asked Mila about interviewing Jagger and Bowie. "Joe turned me into your writing about five years ago." And Mila did a monologue about her career. Jenna excused herself to use the ladies' room. When Mila reached what appeared to be the end, there was another period of awkward silence.

Mila turned to Joe, "I sense there's something under the surface here."

"What do you mean?"

"There are secrets in this room."

Joe pointed at a male patron at the opposite end of the bar, "That guy has a gambling problem his wife doesn't know about, and that lady over there, she's fresh from an AA meeting, falling off the wagon."

"This is what Joe does if you corner him," Tina said. "He wisecracks to sidestep. There are secrets in this room like all bars." She then excused herself, "I understand they have an amazing ladies' lounge here."

That left Joe with Mila.

"She seems nervous," Mila said, "Or is she always this amped up?"

"She's a little excitable," Joe said, "but that's how she is sometimes. I like that about T."

"You can't keep your eyes off her."

"She is sitting right there, in my line of sight, directly beside you."

"I feel there's more going on here than meets the eye."

Jenna returned and took her place beside Joe. Mila then excused herself for the ladies' room.

He turned to Jenna. "What do you mean Tina pressured you?"

Jenna sighed, "Do you really think I wanted to meet her? T said she couldn't face you two alone and asked me to tag along. I said, fuck no. This morning she whined, asked again, and when I said no, she said was going to cancel."

"Then why are you here?"

She exhaled, "Because unlike you, I have not given up on the plan. I think her meeting Mila might get us back on track. You've gotta listen to me, Joe. This thing is not over. You and T are talking, and aside from this Mila crap, she's been happy about your new thing, Tina knows what she's missing in her life... and that would be you."

"What do you mean by this Mila crap?"

"Oh, is this real?" Jenna made a face. "I figured she's just your latest in a string of many female distractions."

Joe stared at Jenna, not liking that comment.

"So you're here because you think Tina meeting Mila will push her to the brink?"

"Well, that, and I'm getting a new office for this... favor."

"Just for coming to happy hour?"

Jenna smiled and held her glass up, "Cheers."

-- Beautifully Sad And Lonely ---

Tina sat in the ladies' room stall, dress hiked up, panties at the knees, peeing. She heard the door between the ladies' lounge and restroom open and close. The woman used the stall adjacent to Tina. When T looked down, there were Mila's cowhide heels.

"Does Joe know you're still in love with him?"

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me fine."

"Yes. he knows."

Mila did not reply. Tina finished her business, wiped and flushed. "I love your writing about him." She said as she opened the door to her stall. "I really do, but it made me jealous. I wanted to be in your fabulous shoes."

"But you have been, and you let him go."

"Yes, I did." Tina looked in the mirror over the vanity and sinks. "I was young and foolish. I thought I knew everything. It took me ten years to realize I know nothing."

Tina turned on the water for several seconds. When she shut it off, Mila answered.

"That's something Joe says, the older he gets the dumber he feels. There is wisdom in that joke. We have these revelations in life, that we're human and flawed and prone to mistakes. This is especially true in matters of the heart."

The toilet flushed. Mila emerged straightening her dress. She smiled at Tina.

Tina smiled, "I have a book of revelations with Joe."

Mila smirked, "Very good. He is a man of revelations. He will show you so much yet still hold back." Mila stepped up to the sink looking in the mirror at Tina, who was at her left, only two feet away. "I sense there's a man behind that smile and those eyes that won't come out, even as he generously gives himself."

Tina smiled uncomfortably. She felt Mila was in another league in the way she spoke of Joe. She was articulate and thoughtful, and that Spanish accent was just too much. If Tina thought it was sexy, she could only imagine what it did for Joe.

"Your writing made me want to jump on a plane to California."

Mila leaned closer, still looking at her through the reflection in the bathroom mirror. "You would see the side of Joe you are not acquainted with. It would be a revelation."

"I've known him since college. I know his many facets."

"But you have never met Joe where he most loved."

"Okay," Tina said, almost defiantly, "If he's so loved in Venice, why is he so damn sad and lonely all the time?"

"Joe is beautifully sad and lonely," Mila said. "When I first met him at the bar he was in his public persona, joking with the old men and doing his job, talking to me as if I was just another patron. He was not a famous musician. He was just my bartender. I found that charming and alluring. Then he stood before me, eye to eye and we talked, and he listened. I felt close to him... the way he looked at me."

Mila dried her hands with a folded paper towel and then reached into her clutch for lipstick.

Tina smiled, watching Mila touch up her lips in the mirror. "I know the feeling. You say he is sad and lonely, go on."

"Beautifully sad and lonely," Mila corrected her, glancing sideways in the mirror to see Tina. "I think he is most comfortable in his pain. Joe is full of cheer in the presence of his friends. With me, he is wonderful, as you know. He appears happy, but he is not. I don't know if he knows how to feel joy inside, or even contentment."

"He's always happy when I see him."

"The outside Joe has mastered. He is fun. He makes me happy, and you happy, and his friends. Joe won't allow himself happiness in here," Mila placed her hand over her heart. "It is a tragic way to live."

"If he's sad and lonely as you say, what is it about his life that is beautiful, his friends?"

"Yes. Joe is filled with love from friends and for his friends. It is beautiful and fun to watch him with his people, all of them, the young and the old. He is adored and Venice is unique and charming in its own way, and sketchy, as Joe likes to say."

"Yes, he loves the dirty and gritty."

"We should get back," Mila touched Tina's arm. "Our man will know we're talking."

"I don't care," Tina said, hating Mila for calling Joe her man. "Are you going back to Venice?"

"I hope so when the winter makes New York unlivable. I am from the Mediterranean. Your winter is not my favorite time."

An older woman entered the room causing Tina and Mila to hush, nod an impersonal greeting and leave as the woman chose a stall. Outside the restroom was a plush lounge, a wall sofa with two chairs opposite. A mirror and vanity without a sink. Tina stepped towards the vanity motioning to Mila.

She scrunched her nose, "Hey, just for fun, tell me one thing you don't like about, Joe. Do you even have one?"

"Oh, that's so easy, but it will only further annoy you."

"I'm not annoyed."

"Oh yes, I am bothering you," Mila smirked. "but that is not my intention. I don't like how Joe knocks himself down. It starts with his education. He is ashamed that he did not attend a university. He thinks people look down on him for this. That insecurity moves with him through life. He minimizes his accomplishments; his record label is tiny and insignificant, his bands were never that big, he's not a great guitarist, his home is just a regular apartment, his building needs paint, his car is old, and his friends are cranky old bastards. He's not complaining. Joe is just...."

"Keeping it real," Tina said. "Joe loathes braggarts and blowhards who talk about their lives and everything they own as if they're the best. That's why he doesn't like my husband, well, that and other reasons. Joe downplays his life to keep himself in check. He knows he has a good life. He tells me all the time how he hates being away from Venice because that's his home. He just won't brag about it and he refuses to fancify himself with a big new house or a shiny car. Materialism is a turn-off for him."

"Very well stated. I don't disagree."

"Do you see how he looks tonight?" Tina looked back through the mirror. "Six months ago he was still dressing like Dee Dee Ramone. He doesn't like wearing anything but jeans, a tee shirt and his leather. It's kind of ridiculous, even when he looks great."

"I only saw him that way at my office, which I am sure Joe planned. At home, he dresses like the beach, and here he dresses like New York. We had fun shopping yesterday."

"You went clothes shopping with Joe?" Now Tina was really fucking jealous.

"Yes, he picked up a few things, and we had lunch at a diner he loves near Columbus Circle."

"He took you to the Parkside? What did you have?"

"I had the all-day breakfast with sausage."

"Good choice." Tina nodded.

Mila looked at Tina wondering if she should like his woman. Tina was in the same thought process. They each saw the other as beautiful, successful, impeccably dressed, sophisticated, and someone they might be friends with if it weren't for a certain man.

Mila was not at all intimidated by Tina. She assumed she was Joe's ex for good reason. Tina was intimidated by Mila's intelligence and her damn Europeanness. God! Tina hated that sexy fucking Catalonian accent. Mila, being a naturally curious woman and journalist, felt compelled to take the conversation back to a fork in the road they had missed.

"What about his education? Mila said. "You say he keeps it real, but he cannot do that with all his insecurities."

"Oh, he's totally fucked in the head on that. Joe reads voraciously, history, politics, and literature. He loves science and technology. Joes reads a lot and he's traveled the world a few times, so many places, and he's been to all the great museums of the world. You wanna talk about me being jealous of Joe, that makes me jealous, all those museums, not the women, the museums." Tina felt herself getting excitable and toned her voice down. "Joe is intelligent in a natural, self-made way that no degree could improve on."

Mila smiled, "You love and respect him, as I do. Have you ever told him this?"

"Joe knows how I feel about him." Tina turned and met Mila's eyes, "And now you do too."

Mila smiled, leaned forward, and whispered, "And we didn't even mention the sex." She bit her lip, staring Tina square in the eyes.

"We should go back now," Tina said. All she could think of was Mila saying, 'as I do.' She admitted to loving Joe.

Walking back to the table, Tina was not in the mood for the remainder of this evening. She wished she could thank Joe for meeting her and then go home. She stayed for one more round.

The conversation revolved around New York, and little on Mila's Venice visit. Joe noticed Tina did not seem to enjoy Mila's storytelling as much as her writing.

As they were settling the tab, Mila excused herself for the ladies' room. Joe, Jenna, and Tina had a moment, the women staring at him, expecting him to say something. He was waiting for one of them to say something sarcastic. They didn't.

"My flight is late tomorrow," Joe said to Tina. "Mila is working. I'm thinking about checking out this place in the West Village, Horatio's. Are you familiar with it?" He smiled as Tina's eyes focused keenly on him.

"No... I'm not."

"Would you like to join me?"

"Do they serve lunch there?"

"I think sausage is their specialty."

Jenna didn't know what was going on and decided to use the ladies' room herself.

Joe nudged Jen as she got up, "You just went."

Jenna walked away, "I know."

As soon as she was out of range, Tina raised a finger at Joe. "Don't play games with that secret. Not in front of Jenna."

"C'mon, T." Joe smiled, "Face to face, look me in the eye and tell me you sucked cock at a glory hole."

"I like that you don't know for sure. It's a very advantageous position for me."

"That's true. You have the high ground. Tomorrow I will verify the existence of this glory hole. Would you like to join me on my expedition?"

"You're seriously going there?"

Joe smiled and nodded. "I am."

"I don't know that it's still there."

"I'm sure the building stands and there's probably a bar there. If there is I can find those closets in the restroom and explore the darkness of your depravity. I need to see it to believe it."

"If there's a bar there, you will find the closets. I assure you. Whether the hole is still there..." Tina shrugged.

"I ask again, would you like to be the first mate on my glory hole expedition?" Joe leaned closer and whispered. "Imagine what we could do if it's still there."

"I have a very busy schedule tomorrow. There's no way, not even for lunch."

Mila walked up just as Tina was declining Joe's invitation. He smiled at her, looked at Tina, and back at Mila. Jenna walked up seconds later rescuing them from the awkward moment. Happy hour over, the women gathered purses and moved toward the door.

Saying her goodbyes, Tina hugged Joe. "You'll be home tomorrow night?"

"Yes. I have a midday flight."

"I'll call you."

-- Expeditions ---

Joe kissed Mila as she grabbed her purse. She held his face in her hands. "You are a beautiful man. I was so happy to have this time with you. Please have a safe trip."

"I will." He kissed her again, a sweet brushing of the lips. "Don't tell Doc, okay."

"Good luck with that," Mila smiled.

"I feel like I'm trying to solve the middle east crisis."

"I will give you a Nobel Prize if you do. Don't miss your flight from drinking too much."

Mila kissed Joe and walked to the door. "Don't forget to lock up and drop the key in my mailbox. "I love you, Joe." She smiled. "You're a good man."

Joe hesitated, stunned by the words 'I love you' passing through her lips. Thankfully, he had that reflex. "I love you, too." He smiled back. "You're incredible."

Mila walked out leaving Joe alone in her apartment. He felt weird but also proud that she trusted him. He felt the same when Jenna gave him a key to her place. He had a key to Jas' apartment too but rarely used it. Joe found himself making comparisons, something he never did before. He was measuring Mila to the other women he loved.

Mila trusted Joe as much as his oldest and dearest female friends and lovers. He felt it in his chest when he realized this, pride, but also a little bit of discomfort. Joe was now in emotional navigation mode entering rough weather and stormy seas. Mila and Tina would be a challenge.