Quaranteam - 808 State Ch. 05-06

Gwen was aghast. "Wait just a damn minute here. You're saying that Evelyn Kopua has specifically asked to be sexually bonded to MY husband? So he can help her with cows? Jesus, Malcolm, what the fuck were you doing over there?"

"I drove a tractor, Gwen. That's it. With Kat riding right along with me the entire time. We moved the cows from one side of her ranch to the other. That was it. Nothing happened. Hell, her two classmates were also there the whole time."

"Mrs. Pilchard, I know this is an unusual situation. This is a species-ending pandemic we're facing, and right now we have one arrow in our quiver. Once there's enough vaccine for wider distribution, all surviving males will be partnered up with enough women to ensure their immunity; men are already an endangered gender, so for their own safety, and the continued survival of humanity, that is what will happen. Multiple wives or partners will be compulsory — I've been told the laws are already being quietly revised — and their existing partners won't have any contrary say in the matter." Shannon paused for a moment, then continued. "Ms. Kopua has asked to speak to you both."

Jim set a tablet on the table, already showing a connection made. He tapped the camera and mic icons, activating both before standing up and moving to look out the front window.

The youthful, smiling face of Evelyn Kopua popped into view. "Hi, Mal, nice to see you again — and this time without all the protective gear! Hi, you must be Gwen? Your daughter Kat is so adorable! Sorry to meet you like this, but I'm not sure what else to do — when the military people came and told me about this vaccine, and what I'd have to commit to... Gwen, uh, I mean, Mrs. Pilchard, I don't have anyone else to turn to. My parents and boyfriend are gone, and the other guys they suggested are... Well, I know them from school, and I know we wouldn't get along."

Gwen glared at the young, light-brown-skinned kanaka woman on the tablet screen. "And why do you think you and Mal will 'get along'? You've met my husband, what, twice now? He told me you threatened to shoot him in front of my daughter?"

Evelyn winced. "Um, yeah, we've met twice recently. Uh, and I guess I did kinda threaten to shoot him... Also twice, er, maybe three times? I think. But I didn't know your daughter was there in the car the first time! And the other times were just a joke!

"Look, I admit that I don't actually know either of you, like, at all. But there are a few things I do know. Your dog, Callie? She used to be my puppy, Stormy. Dad wouldn't just sell her to anyone, so I know you guys aren't sketch. I can also tell that Mal's a really good dad, cause Kat is super happy and smart, and I know that you guys are quarantining separately and he's taking care of her. Or was? Were? I kinda thought there might be two separate calls? Anyway, I can see how devoted to both you and Kat he is, and how much he loves you, and... shit. I'm not making my case very well here."

Evelyn tried to continue. "Mrs. Pilchard, I'm not thinking about trying to take Mal, er, Mr. Pilchard from you — he's a lot older than I've ever dated, and again, I don't really know you guys. But M-ister Pilchard helped me out, twice, and even though I was a bitch and he could have screwed me and my family over... He didn't. None of the guys I went to school with would have helped me like that.

"If I have to be bonded to some guy to get the vaccine, your husband seems like a decent person, and I already know he can help me with the cattle. Please say yes?" Evelyn had been moving her phone closer and closer as she pleaded, and her face filled the entirety of the tablet screen.

Gwen's face had softened as Evelyn spoke. "Your parents and boyfriend passed? From this DuoHalo?"

"Kama — my boyfriend Kamalei... We were supposed to run the ranch together after we got married. Mom and Dad already called him son — our families have been tangled together one way or another for generations, and we were both the only heirs to our ʻāina. But even so, he was going to become a Kopua. Lieutenant Knox told me that he got DuoHalo a few weeks ago. His mom and dad are gone too." The picture rapidly blurred and shifted, as the device Evelyn was holding dropped, before stabilizing and showing a ceiling fan. Evelyn's voice sounded a little muffled and choked, "My parents got bad Covid and... Heart failure, both of them. Mrs. Pilchard, I've got no family left, and the government has asked me to round up the stray cattle on this side of the island. I need help, and I need a man I can trust."

"Evelyn. Can you pick the phone back up? I'm old-school — I want to see the person I'm talking to if I'm doing this whole video-call thing." Gwen looked up at the others in the room. "Actually, hold on a second Evelyn. I'm going to a different room. I want to have a private conversation with you."

Gwen snatched the tablet off the table and disappeared into the adjacent studio. Mal shrugged at the soldier and airman. "Can I get you guys anything? Coffee, water, a snack? I got no clue how long this will take."

"Some coffee would be nice — we've been balls to the wall for days now and I feel like the last time I slept was when Jim and I bonded."

"So you two are really together-together? I thought the military frowned on enlisted-officer couples?"

"Oh, even before the pandemic, it was allowed under certain conditions — if the two service members weren't in the same branch or at least not in the same command. I'm Army Civil Affairs, and Jim is an Air Force Raven — forward Force Protection, so we tick both boxes - different branches, and no command overlap. Even if we'd somehow hooked up pre-pandemic, it would have been okay. But we're an Oracle pairing at 93% compatibility."

"Yeah, about that. Evelyn was saying something about your suggestions being way off for the guys you selected for her? How reliable is that... Oracle? You said? What is it, a matchmaking service?" Mal absentmindedly began humming as he pulled a pair of mugs from the cupboard.

Jim picked up on the humming, "Ya da da da, if I were a wealthy man! Sorry, but that's a great musical. Shannon can explain Oracle really well, but that's not what was used for Ms. Kopua's suggested matches. We would have run whichever of them she chose through the full Oracle, once she indicated a preference, but we just used... Well, let's just say we were doing some back-of-the-envelope estimation. It's way less extensive, and doesn't require subject input, but clearly, it looks like we missed some critical things. Which is kinda like what I said when we were building that list for Ms. Kopua, Shan."

"Yes, Sergeant, once again, the NCO has proven to the junior officer that he knows best." Mal's eyes popped wide as the blonde woman stuck her tongue at her partner.

"Okay, so what sort of compatibility am I with Evelyn according to your Oracle? Or the other one?"

"Don't know. Oracle requires you to fill out a detailed questionnaire — takes an hour or longer, depending on how... 'inclusive' your vocabulary is. And we didn't bother with the other assessment for you. After Ms. Kopua pointed out how crappy the suggested matches were for her classmates and asked specifically about you, we gave her the Oracle questionnaire link and came over here to talk to you and your wife." Jim took the tray from Mal and set it on the table in front of Shannon, taking one cup from it and returning to the window. "It's nice out here. Really quiet. Your kid and dog okay playing out there alone?"

Returning to the kitchen, Mal responded, "Yeah, Callie knows where to keep Kat, and she'll start barking if there's an issue. No snakes in Hawaiʻi, so all we have to worry about are ants, bees, spiders, centipedes, scorpions, wasps, and occasional stray animals." He stopped for a moment. "Damn. I just realized — there are going to be a lot more abandoned animals now, aren't there, with the death rates? Hold on." Mal hurried to the front door, stepped partway out and whistled sharply. A second later, Callie barked three times from behind the house and the clatter of little feet and paws on the wrap-around veranda was heard.

Katherine and Callie burst into the house — the dog and girl spinning around each other in a compact whirlwind as Kat chattered at her father, "Yes, Daddy? Callie said you called-we were in the back-I was marking where I want the pineapples in the new garden patch!"

Mal picked Kat out of the tumble and gave her a quick hug. "Good girls. Can you maybe play inside your room for a bit? Mommy and I are still talking with our visitors — well, she's talking with Auntie Evelyn right now, and we might be a bit longer. Do you need a snack?"

"No, thank you, Daddy. Can we go back outside?"

Mal shook his head, "Later, honey, when Mommy or Daddy can be out there with you. Please go play in your room." After Kat had headed to the back of the house, Mal nodded to the Air Force Sergeant. "Thank you. I hadn't thought about what else the death toll might cause. Some years back, one of the neighbors had a pack of feral dogs break in and kill two of his goats. We're fenced all around, but until I do a perimeter check... Do you know if anything is being done about a deceased person's pets?"

Shannon responded, "It's tangential to our primary mission of stabilizing livestock management, but both of your county shelters are reportedly at overflow. Emergency Services are overwhelmed with human issues — personal pets are a much lower priority at the moment."

Mal frowned at her. "It might not be directly part of your primary mission, but packs of wild dogs will be a problem for livestock. If you aren't standing up a group to deal with feral dogs, people will start taking matters into their own hands — next thing you know, any dog seen outside will be shot at, and their owner WILL shoot back." He walked to the window and looked outside. "Yeah, it's quiet out here, but the Puna District is also heavily armed. Are Emergency Services doing anything about deceased people's guns?"

The two military personnel exchanged a long glance before Lieutenant Knox let out a long breath and spoke, "I doubt it. You've given us some useful intel, and I'll be passing along your observations to my Air Force temporary duty commander. Posse comitatus restrictions might keep us from doing anything directly — that will be for JAG to figure out."

"Sorry, I didn't intend to dump it on you — but you guys at least seem like you're part of a functional government — which is more than I can say for my employer. Hawaiʻi County IT must have been wiped out. I couldn't connect to the email server at all today. For what that's worth; I haven't even gotten canned responses from my boss or department director in a week. And my co-workers who have responded are telling me they've got no clue either. Plus, from what they've said, as of two days ago, Aupuni Center is still closed and locked up tight, so there's nobody to talk to there."

Lieutenant Knox shrugged noncommittally. "Like I said, you made a good point, and I'll pass it along. We may be able to get the scope of the mission expanded — at least for the packs of stray dogs, or, as I'll write it, 'potential feral predator' concern, I'm sure we will. You asked if we would be 'standing up' someone to deal with it. If we get permission to do so, would you be interested?"

Mal recoiled. "Gods and demons, no. I mean, I'm pretty sure that if I had a gun and a stray dog was coming for Kat or Gwen, I might shoot at it. Thanks to Scouting, I at least know which end of a rifle to point at what I want dead. But without a lot of practice, hitting a moving target is hard. I'd probably be better off charging in with a stick. I'm not the guy for dealing with feral packs of dogs."

Sergeant Hitchens had been observing Mal during this, and asked, "You said, 'Kat or Gwen'. Not the dog — Callie?"

Mal grimaced. "Callie's a herding dog. We're somewhere in the intersection of her Venn diagram of pack, human herd, and family. Her instinct is to protect her herd from predators; she'd be moving to confront the threat. By the time I react, she'll probably have engaged, and I'd be as likely to hit her as the stray. More so, if Mr. Murphy pokes his gnarled finger in."

The Air Force operator nodded. "Well, at least you make the right decisions in a thought exercise. The rest of it — hitting a fast mover, reaction time, good aim — that's stuff that can be taught. If you change your mind, let us know."

Lieutenant Knox ahemed quietly to draw both men's attention. "Mr. Pilchard, we've sort of drifted from the reason we're here. While we wait for your wife to finish with Ms. Kopua, do you have any questions about the vaccine or what she — that is, Ms. Kopua — is requesting of you?"

Mal sat back down at the table across from her. "Uh. Ya know, just call me Mal. Sorry. I guess... If I understand what you've said, Shannon, I'd have to — uh — be sexually intimate with her, that is, with Evelyn regularly for the vaccine to work, right? The protection fades, so it's not a one-time thing? So, would she need to move in? How quickly does it fade? And Gwen — she'd also be vaccinated. So I'd be double protected — but wait. Didn't you say something about four partners — was that for optimal protection? I'm sorry, but some of what you said I guess didn't fully register — between learning about how fucked humanity is and everything, I'm not entirely on it today.

"So I'd have to have four partners? Would they all go through that Oracle matching?"

"A minimum of four. Almost certainly more though, as Ms. Kopua has said that she already needs at least three helpers just for her existing herd. Your living arrangements are up to you and your partners, or as it's beginning to be called, your Team. But, as the idea is for the Team to be supporting Ms. Kopua's mission of livestock management, it seems to me that it would probably be best if you formed a cohesive family unit — ideally under one roof, or at worst closely adjacent dwellings." Shannon's eyes flicked over to Sergeant Hitchens briefly before she continued. He correctly interpreted her unspoken communication and returned to sit beside her at the table.

"Each of your partners will go through the Oracle screening process, but — and this is important, Mal — you will NOT be the Team Primary for Oracle. Ms. Kopua is. Everyone is matched against her first, and you second. As your wife is a pre-existing relationship, Oracle will automatically match the two of you, regardless of her compatibility percentage with Ms. Kopua. She does need to be screened, because for each new partner, Oracle runs them against all existing Team members to avoid conflicts."

Mal pulled at his chin. "That's... Dang, that's complex. I can see cross-checking three, four, or even maybe five people — I know, er, knew? — of a poly quint over in Leilani Estates before the 2018 eruption. They'd pulled a permit to expand their 2-bedroom so they could all be together under one roof. Nicely planned additions too — too bad Madame Pele burned and buried it under six feet of fresh rock. I hope things work. Gwen is a bit... prickly. Does Oracle check if partners are okay with kids and dogs? Cats? Kat keeps asking to get one, and I kept telling her that it's not fair to get one until Mommy can snuggle it too. Does it differentiate between teenagers and small kids? Cause if not, that's a problem — I used to joke last year that Kat was a 'three-nager', but there's a huge difference between a grade schooler and a high schooler."

Jim grunted. "No shit, dude. There aren't any of the latter left anymore. DuoHalo wiped out that entire generation, and the vaccine is as bad for them as it is for us men."

Mal straightened, "Wait, what happens when Kat grows up? If we can't find a better vaccine, are we coming up with a solution to protect kids?"

Shannon patted the air, "The scientists studying DuoHalo have said that young children that are exposed are nearly immune to its effects, and then acquire immunity without being vaccinated. They're asymptomatic carriers, so there's still risk to their parents, but the kids are typically fine. They're not sure how, but as you can imagine, it's a critical focus of research."

"So... Parents of small children have to intentionally expose their keiki to a potentially lethal virus — and not get infected themselves? How many orphans are we talking about nationally?"

"You certainly have a knack for jumping right to the worst-case conclusions, Mal. But you don't seem like a true pessimist?"

"I'm an engineer. One of my mentors said that our job was to imagine the worst thing that could happen, then design against an even more catastrophic failure. That's why the fenceline around my immediate yard has a reinforced, poured concrete footing." Mal looked at Shannon. "But you didn't answer my question — what's happening to those orphaned kids?"

"The number of orphans isn't as high as you're probably imagining. Remember, most women will survive a DuoHalo infection. There are a lot of traumatized kids, and mental health professionals will probably spend most of the next century helping them deal with survivor's guilt or grief over the loss of a father or older sibling, but even in the midst of a pandemic, foster families are still stepping up — it's truly heroic, and inspiring."

"Well, at least that's something. So, once Gwen and I are protected, we either wait until a better vaccine — one that can be given to keiki — comes along, or find an old-timey "pox party" to send Kat to?" Mal winced. "I don't really like either of those options very much."

"You're ignoring the third option," Jim rumbled. "Do nothing. At some point, you, or one of your Team will likely be exposed to DuoHalo, and while the vaccine will protect them and you, they probably will spread it to your daughter before it's neutralized. If, by some fluke, that doesn't happen by the time Kat turns 10, and the squints haven't come up with a kid-safe vaccine, then you can dither about intentionally infecting her. I know what I'd do, but I'm also not a father."

Shannon shifted slightly in her seat. "Mal, it sounds like you're on board with Ms. Kopua's request, but you haven't actually agreed yet. Did you have any more questions?"

Mal shook his head. "No, but the reason I haven't agreed is because I'm not making a decision without Gwen's input. IF we become part of Evelyn's Team or not should be a joint decision. Yes, I understand that at some point, if we turn Evelyn down and I survive long enough, I'll be frog-marched into a Team, but we aren't there yet, and I'm not about to take Gwen's agency away from her by making a unilateral decision."

The blonde soldier regarded Mal levelly across the table. The studio door opened, and Gwen walked through, putting the tablet down on the table. "We'll take the offer. Evelyn is on her way over. When can I get vaccinated?"

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Glossary of non-English words:

pau: Done, finished. I know you've seen it before, but I held it over because where it was said in this chapter is a perfect example of an improper usage. Mal technically told Callie to not bark when she's done (in a final-final-finished sense, i.e., dead [overly simplified, but yeah, kinda]), but colloquially, he's told her to not bark when she's done pooping. If he'd been using it properly, he'd have said something like, "... no barking when you're pau making doots." (Ch. 5)

puka: Hole. You can also use puka to refer to a door, doorway, gate, or other passage or aperture. And, yes, I think maybe technically you could maybe even use it for THAT one, at least with some additional descriptor, or maybe in a euphemistic or poetic fashion, but we typically use punani, which is derived from puanani, which means "beautiful flower". And in case it's not entirely clear, I'm talking about pussy. But for the love of the gods, I do NOT want to see people going, "But Dis said puka means pussy!" NO! If you wanna talk about pussy, that's punani! Got it? (Ch 5.)