Quaranteam Ch. 26

"It'll be fine, Andy," Sarah said, flipping her hair with one hand. "I already know you're going to pick her, so trust me when I tell you that is the correct decision to make."

"And if that isn't the decision I'm making?"

"Then you're being a fucking idiot and you'd better come to your senses before your final decision, because no man should be allowed to be that fucking stupid. Obvs. But I know you're totally not and you're really just fucking with me, and that's cool," she said as she walked around the table before leaning down and kissing him firmly, pressing her lips against his for a long moment. "Have fun with the rest of the pitches!"

As Sarah walked out of the room, Aisling shook her head while sending the message to Sheridan for her to make her way up to the pitch room. "It can be very hard to remember she's been nominated for an Oscar when she acts like that," the smaller redhead said. "But I guess it's part of her 'girl next door' charm. Anyway, what did you think? You're not mad about Sarah pitching Larissa?"

"Why would I be mad?" he laughed. "I just don't know that it'd work. But it's something I'll definitely consider when I'm doing my deliberations, especially since Sarah seems to think Larissa might be into me. I never got that vibe, but--"

"But it's well established you barely know a woman's into you even when she's sitting in your lap and whispering into your ear that she wants you to fuck her brains out."

Andy gave her a disapproving smirk. "I'm not that bad."

"You're not far from it, anyway."

Sheridan came strolling into the room, wearing what she had at lunch, far less dressed up than most of the girls, wearing jean shorts over a leotard or a swimsuit, her frizzy blonde hair mostly tucked back, damp but not soaked. Andy half wondered if she'd been swimming in the pool while she'd been waiting. Sheridan had been known to enjoy swimming, even though the weather was dipping into the cooler side. Since her job as a performer was on hold until the pandemic was under control, she'd done her best to find ways to occupy her time.

"Heya stud," she said with a wink as she wandered over to sit down in the chair. "I'm not gonna ask you if you've made decisions yet, but I am gonna ask how you're feeling about the process so far. It's hella cool that you're giving us input into that, and it's a big deal, so thanks for that. Anyway, I think you're gonna find my friend a wild ride."

"Let's get to it then," Andy said.

Sheridan picked up the remote and pushed the button as the screen popped to life, a image of Sheridan sitting with a young woman in her late 20s or early 30s, with jet black hair and skin the color of desert sand. She was a little more on the plump side, with a mischievous smile. They were sitting at a wood table on the patio of some local bar.

"This is my friend Tala Jordan," the blonde said. "Her parents immigrated here from Iran in 1970. We met in high school and became besties. She's the one who talked me into quitting smoking. We were roommates in college down at Santa Cruz and we've been roomies on and off again since we both graduated in 2012."

"Why do I feel like I've seen her somewhere before?" Andy said, the woman's face looking vaguely familiar in a way he simply couldn't place.

"You go to a lot of concerts, Andy?"

"Some."

"Well, then she's probably been singing with an opening band you've seen at a concert." Sheridan pushed the button and the image advanced, showing Tala playing an electronic keyboard on a stand, and singing into a microphone. He recognized the stage as The Independent, a small but influential club in San Francisco that also tended to get some big name acts. "Boom Goes The Dynamite, Castle Idea, The Grendelles, Lowball Skyscrapers, Girls Gone Danger... hell, probably at least half a dozen more that I can't remember. Every time I talk to her, it seems like she's got some new band she's playing with."

"What does she do when she's not playing in a band?" Aisling asked. Andy was certain she probably already knew the answer to the question and was simply asking for his benefit.

"She's a carpenter," Sheridan said, pushing a button to advance to a slide of Tala working on a desk. "More specifically, she's a cabinetmaker, most of the time, anyway. She and a couple of her friends opened their own custom furniture house about five years ago, and people really like their stuff, because that's kept her afloat while living in the Bay, although to be fair, she's also gotten a very specific kind of clientele as of late."

"What's that?" Andy asked.

Sheridan pushed the button again, and the new image showed Tala sitting on top of a desk with dozens of shelves, a hutch atop it that had a number of closed doors on it. "She's become a puzzle maker. Custom puzzle boxes, puzzle desks, that kind of thing. It's a weird little niche, but it pays incredibly well, and she's made stuff for people like Kris Angel, Neil Patrick Harris and Elon Musk. Those projects usually take a month or two's worth of work, but they pay for an entire year or two's worth of mortgage, so she's okay with it."

"Fascinating. What's she like as a person?"

"She's wicked smart and very funny." She pushed the button and the image advanced again, showing the two of them standing on the Golden Gate bridge, their backs to the Bay. It must have been extremely windy on the day the picture was taken, because both women were doing their best to keep their hair from flying all over the place. Both girls were clearly laughing hysterically. "Some people think she can come across as a bit mean, but they just don't recognize she's only busting their balls a bit. She always told me that the Persian sense of humor can go over the heads of people not smart enough to keep up with her, and that she doesn't mind. She's a lot like Niko, and considering how much you and she get along, I think you'll dig Tala loads."

Andy nodded. "Do you think she and I would be sexually compatible? What's she want out of a man?"

Sheridan grinned from ear-to-ear and Andy immediately wondered what he'd said to trigger such a reaction. "If you had asked me two weeks ago, I would've given you an entirely different answer than the one I can give you today, dude. So when I told her about the whole imprinting process, and all about the accident we had with me getting primed early, I expected to see Tala be hella concerned about me, but instead, she got this freaky look on her face, and I realized about half way through my story that she was jilling off, while I told her about it. It turned her on so much she just couldn't help it," the blonde said, licking her lips with wolfish delight. "I'd never known before, but she's always had this pheromone fetish. Like, she gets turned on by the idea of being so turned on that she doesn't have control of her self, that she's turned into some carnal unstoppable beast who is going to fuck even if she has to move hell to get it."

Andy swallowed a mouthful of air awkwardly.

"When I told her about your first encounter with Piper, I swear to god, she fucking came just hearing about it. She wasn't even touching herself at that point, 'cause she was holding the phone with both hands. I asked her about it, and she said she was kinda embarrassed to talk about it, but admitted that it'd always been a fetish of hers. I found out all of this yesterday when I called to ask her if she'd be interested in me putting her forward for a chance to join you."

"And I take it that the tales of the imprinting process only enhanced her interest?"

"Totes. Obvs she wants to be here, but she also wants you to edge her all the time."

"What do you mean edge her?"

"She asked what happens when you try and stretch out the amount of time a girl needs to get her dose, and I told her your story about you and Lauren, and she wants to constantly be going towards that state. That turns her on like you wouldn't imagine. So seems to me like you get multiple ticks in the win column by bringing her here."

"Possible challenges?"

"Well, being quarantined in New Eden's gonna be rough on her, because she's big into spending time with her parents. She moved into their house when the pandemic started, and I know when people come into New Eden, they can't leave until the pandemic's over, so you'll need to make sure she understands that, but I'm betting the idea of getting to live out her number one sexual fantasy, like, all the fucking time might be enough to convince her that her folks will be okay on their own."

"How close are you two, Sheridan?"

"She's, like, one of my best friends, maybe my best friend, actually. I think you'd like her a lot. I know we haven't spent, like, loads of time together, but she really wants this, and you've got me, and you seem to like me well enough, so maybe you'd like her too, y'know?"

Andy nodded with a smile. "Okay then. Thanks for talking to me about her, and I'll be letting everyone know tomorrow what my decisions are."

"Yep, I got the spiel on the rules from Ash before we got started, so I know how it works," she said, pressing the button to advance the screen once more, bold white letters reading "next: Taylor" on the black background. "Just remember, while we all gotta live with'em, you're the one who's gonna have to fuck'em every couple of weeks, so don't take anyone you don't wanna dip your wick into on the regular, y'hear?"

With that, Sheridan headed out of the room, leaving Andy and Aisling alone in the room again. "I didn't even know there was a fetish for that kind of thing."

"You live near San Francisco, love," Aisling teased. "You more than anyone should know there's a fetish for every kind of thing. And nobody's judging. If it's not your thing, no problem. If it turns you on thinking about it, no problem. To thine own self be true, like Polonius said."

"You know it's meant to be bad advice when he says it in Hamlet, right?" Andy replied.

"Don't be such a geezer about it."

"I'm a writer, Ash. Being a geezer about the English language is right there in the job description."

Taylor knocked on the door, and had to be told twice to come in. She was actually dressed in clothing now, Lauren obviously having made an exception for the day, as the girl was still in her time of punishment. Andy wasn't sure that Lauren would make her go the whole month, but as of yet, the Aussie had shown no sign of suddenly doling out leniency. Taylor had on a pair of gym shorts and a white muscle t-shirt that did very little to mask her impressive bust, but her hair was drawn back into a modest ponytail, high on her head, done up in a scrunchy. "So I'm the last one, huh?" she said, as she came into the room, looking at the chair then looking at Andy expectantly.

"Sit, sit," Andy said. "If she's letting you get dressed to pitch, I'm sure she's fine with you sitting in a chair while you go through the whole process. And if she wasn't, I'm certain she would have said something."

"Yeah, I guess you're right," Taylor said, finally moving to sit down in the chair. "Uh, hi! I did want to be sure and say thank you for letting us all do this, sir. I know you've been a little overwhelmed by all the female attention you've been getting, but it's very kind of you to allow us to suggest our friends to you, to make this home a little more like home."

"Just as long as none of you get mad if I don't choose the people you pitch," Andy said.

Taylor's bright blue eyes widened and she shook her head. "Oh, no no, sir. Miss Aisling made it abundantly clear what she'd do to us if we did, and none of us want to incur her wrath!" The blonde giggled a little, as Andy saw Aisling shake her head out of the corner of her eye. "It's an honor just to be nominating, sir. Which brings us to my friend Natalie."

The blonde picked up the remote and pressed the button as the image changed before them from the black screen to an image of Taylor and another girl standing in front of the Leaning Tower of Pisa, doing that cliched stance that it seemed like every tourist was obliged to it. The two girls in the picture made rather a stark contrast to each other. While they were both blonde, Natalie was tall and thin compared to Taylor's short and curvy. Natalie was dressed in a summer dress that hung perhaps a bit too loosely on her. "Nat and I met in junior high and have been besties since then. After we graduated high school, we went and took a trip through Europe together, which my parents paid for, because Natalie doesn't come from money, where as my folks work for Bank of America in upper management."

"You said you were twenty-five, so that means you've known her, what, a dozen years or so?"

Taylor nodded. "Something like that. She was the first person I came out to as bisexual, and while Nat didn't feel the same way, she was super supportive of me. I didn't want to fuck her anyway; I just wanted someone to talk to about it, and Nat didn't judge me, just like I didn't judge her when she let me in on her big secret a few years ago."

"You don't have to share someone else's secret with me, Taylor. I wouldn't ask you to violate someone else's trust."

Taylor smiled at him warmly. "I know you wouldn't but it's okay for me to tell you, because she told me it's okay to tell you." She picked up the remote and clicked the button again, and suddenly the image changed in a startling and dramatic way. The tall, leggy blonde had traded the sundress for a silver bikini, six inch clear heels and a steel pole behind her. "Natalie has also been going by the name Mercedes four nights a week at Centerfolds in San Francisco. A lot of dancers insist you call them exotic dancers, but Nat's always been okay with being called a stripper."

Andy's eyebrow raised a bit. "Okay, I definitely didn't see this one coming."

"So I'm sure you've heard the stories before if you've ever been in a strip club, but Natalie really is stripping to pay her way through school. Medical school, to be exact," Taylor said with a giggle. "She's been told a bunch of times that she could make all that money faster if she got a boob job, but Natalie's happy with her body, so she's told those people to fuck off for years now. And besides, people say she kinda looks like Charlize Theron, and if she strapped a couple of grapefruit to her chest, she'd lose that."

The bubbly fireplug blonde pushed the button to show Natalie with her arms holding onto the pole, her legs raised into the air in a wide V, like she was about to clack the heels of those shoes together with a thunderous crack.

"She's in year one of med school now, having had to take a little time off to earn the money to pay for premed and med school. She'd love to just be able to focus on school and not have to be dancing at the club once the quarantine's done. But, shit, she's been hit hard by the fact that she can't dance to earn, and the bills just keep piling up."

Taylor pushed the button once more, changing the image to show Natalie from behind, wearing a plaid mini skirt, looking over her shoulder at the camera, and on the small of her back, just above her waist, was a single line of script. On further investigation, it brought a grin to Andy's face.

"I take it the tattoo meets with your approval?"

"I mean, I can't tell you what it says, but I do recognize elvish script when I see it. So she's a member of the geek tribe then, I take it?"

"She is, but she did want me to tell you that she's never read your books before. She's heard of you, but her first love has always been Tolkien. The tattoo says 'Fire will only forge me stronger' in Elvish, or, well, she claims it does. I dunno. I can't read it, so I have to trust her. She and I talked about it, and she is going to make it a point to read your books, but she doesn't want you to think she's a superfan like Sarah is."

Andy laughed a little at that. "I don't think I know anyone who's the level of superfan about my books that Sarah is, so that's fine. Sexually, do you think she and I would be compatible?"

"I don't really know, sir," Taylor sighed. "She and I don't talk about sex that much. I know she makes sort of yipping chipmunk noises when she's really worked up, but that's just from being roommates for a while. She's straight, so she's unlikely to want to play with the other girls, but I think she deserves a chance at happiness."

"Any other things you can think of that might be dealbreakers?"

"I mean, she's going to be studying all the time, because she very much wants to be a doctor, and I know doctors can keep some weird hours."

He nodded, flipping his notepad face down, as he stood up. "Well, thanks for taking the time to share your friend with me, and for having the courage to do this."

"Oh, it really didn't take that much courage, sir," Taylor said, blushing a little.

"It did," Andy corrected, "whether you know it or not. As someone whose gotten more than two hundred rejection letters in his life, it takes guts to put yourself out there. I'll have my decision tomorrow."

Taylor stood up and moved over to hug him, her arms clinging to him firmly for a long moment before she pulled back. "You should know, sir, that we're all very lucky we found you, or that you found us. We could've been saddled with somebody like these assholes Lauren tells me parade around their trophy wives like chattel, but you're so much better than them. Thank you again for that."

Andy rubbed his hand against Taylor's back. "You're very welcome. Do me a favor, would you? Round up all the girls and have them meet me in the big downstairs living room, okay?"

"You got it, sir." Taylor leaned away, stopped, leaned back, grabbed Andy and pulled him down so she could kiss them, then giggled and scampered off.

"Why are you gathering everyone together? I thought you were going to sleep on it before you made any decisions," Aisling asked, looking as Andy picked up his notepad, as well as the folded piece of paper with Ash's predictions on it.

"Oh, I am, but if I'm going to call Xander tomorrow and fill him in on everything, I figured we could take a group photo of the whole household and send it to him ahead of the chat."

The Irish redhead stuck her tongue out at him. "You're a stinker, but I love it."

A few minutes later, the living room in question was filled with people, and Andy decided to give a few short words to everyone.

"Okay everyone, I want to thank you all for being so respectful in sharing your friends with me, trying to play matchmaker and to offer them for consideration in being invited to our home. I'm going to let myself think about it for a while, but sometime tomorrow, I will come down here and post a list of who's being invited to the house, the way the editor-in-chief of my college newspaper used to announce next semester's staff. Once the list is posted, those of you who know people who are going to be invited can put together a short video to send to your friend, telling them why you think they should come and join us here. Now, obviously, any of them can feel free to say no, so I will also have two names listed as alternate, and if you're friends with the alternates, you may want to put together a short video invite, just in case one of my initial selections says no.

"I'm not going to harbor any ill will if someone declines our invitation, and neither should you. This world, our world, it's a lot for anyone to take in, and if someone doesn't want to get on the rollercoaster with us, well, that's entirely up to them. But in closing, let me just say something from the movie 'Roxanne,' okay? 'I would rather be with the people of this house... than with the finest people in the world!' Viva la familia!"

There was a rousing cheer followed by applause, and afterwards, everyone started to gather up for the photo. Katie suggested she take the picture, since she expected that she, Jenny and Nicolette wouldn't be in it, but Andy refused, saying that while he fully respected they were the staff, they were still going to be in a photo showing his whole household, something Katie found herself unable to disagree with, so a tripod was set up, and everyone got into place.