Quaranteam - Flyover Country Ch. 07.5

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Little Ernie has to handle housing in Hopewell.
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This is my ongoing authorized spinoff in the Quaranteam Universe spawned by CorruptingPower. Special thanks to him for his permission to play in this sandbox and for his creative input. Thanks also to my editing team, especially all my fellow spinoff authors, both currently and soon-to-be published.


I've now officially joined in on the QT tradition of spicing up my main story with an intermission. These intermissions will come every 7 chapters (a totally normal spacing, right? Right? Anybody?) and will give me a chance to introduce you to some more of the people in Hopewell, while also covering some of the big-picture issues affecting the town that don't fit so neatly with the main characters.


July 16, 2020

With a clattering thump, Ernie dropped the final bucket of screws onto the floor of his dad's hardware store. He knew his dad would hate the way he thought of this place, but he was desperate to make his own way. Somehow. If the end of the world didn't make that impossible. Even more impossible, that is. Lack of money for college and few local opportunities had already combined to make it incredibly challenging to find a path out of the hardware store. A path to being something other than just Little Ernie.

Pushing his mop of shaggy blond hair out of his eyes, he checked the manifest to be sure that everything they'd ordered had been delivered. As bad as things had gotten with the pandemic, business had been booming for the hardware store. People all over town were suddenly trapped in their homes and were frantic for something to do. Renovations were a popular choice, especially once people figured out which parts of their homes were run-down, non-functional, annoying, or just plain ugly.

He was distracted from his depressing reverie by the jingle of the shop's bell, a sound he'd scarcely heard since the country had shut down more than four months ago. He was further surprised to hear his dad calling out for him. Stepping out from the back room, he was surprised to see his partner Jane standing at the cash register and chatting with his dad.

Moving to greet her, he was startled to realize that Jane wasn't alone. An attractive brunette in crisp fatigues stood at the front of the store, staring out the front window. Though she stood tall, Ernie could tell by the slope of her shoulders that she was drained. This impression was reinforced by the hollow expression in her eyes when she turned to greet him.

Ernie wasn't quite sure how to handle this situation. He'd never really had a girlfriend before, if you could even call Jane his girlfriend. Should he greet her first, or the woman who seemed like her boss? Was a kiss inappropriate in front of these people? Before he could make a mistake, he noticed the brunette nod subtly towards Jane, allowing a small smile to cross her lips.

"Hey, Jane." He gave her a quick peck on the cheek before turning to the stranger. "Ma'am," he continued with a respectful nod.

"Mr. Bertram." The stranger gave Ernie a firm handshake, returning his nod. "Captain Amelia Hudson. Thank you for taking the time to speak with me. I hope I'm not taking you away from anything too urgent."

"Not at all, ma'am. I just finished unloading our latest order and getting it all stowed away. What could the Army possibly want with me?"

"Air Force, actually. And I'm here to recruit you."

"To the Air Force?"

Jane snorted explosively, swiftly managing to suppress her giggles. Even Captain Hudson seemed amused by his mistake.

"Not the Air Force, Mr. Bertram. I am here to recruit you for a...project under Operation Breadbasket."

"I'm lost."

"Mr. Bertram, what do you imagine is the biggest challenge we're going to face here in Hopewell as we continue to link up the surviving men with more and more women?"

"Catfights, probably." His response provoked another chuckle from Jane, and even got a brief smile out of his dad, though Captain Hudson barely reacted.

"Apart from that, Mr. Bertram. Any ideas?"

Ernie gave the question some thought, mining his own situation for ideas, when realization struck. "Oh shit. Space. Housing. If families, Teams, keep growing, they're gonna outgrow their apartments and houses. Shit. I should've thought of that right away. I'm an idiot. I was already worried about finding space for Jane's stuff in my little apartment over the garage."

"Exactly." Captain Hudson's face initially showed approval, but that was swiftly replaced by a twisted grimace. "Unfortunately, we have run into an unexpected obstacle with respect to addressing this situation. Our initial survey indicated that there is already a construction company in Hopewell that could handle the housing crisis that we are going to face."

The Ernies shared a glance, already knowing where this was going. "Let me guess," chimed in Big Ernie. "Your 'obstacle' is a flaming asshole named Oscar Brummig. Has he even gotten the vaccine yet?" Captain Hudson shook her head, prompting him to continue ranting. "Of course not. What idiotic excuse did he give? The virus is just a hoax perpetrated by the Deep State to take our guns? The vaccine contains microchips that Bill Gates wants to use to control our brains? Polygamy is a sin against God and nature?"

"He apparently gave several supposed justifications for his positions during his rants, though the officer who approached him declined to write them all down."

Big Ernie snorted at that. "What does Oscar's assholery have to do with my son?"

Captain Hudson turned to Little Ernie. "We need someone to spearhead the sizable construction effort that is going to be needed to prepare this town for the expected influx of residents."

"And you want me to help this person with their hardware-related needs?"

Captain Hudson silently stared at him, and terror slowly crept up Ernie's back as he realized what she was suggesting.

"Me?" he squeaked.

The Air Force officer merely nodded. Jane put a supportive hand on his arm as he swayed slightly, at a total loss for how to respond.

"Me?" he asked again. "Why would you want me? What would make you think I'm remotely qualified for this? I'm only 19 years old. Are you crazy? I can't be in charge of something this big. Is this some sort of post-apocalyptic practical joke? Me?" He trailed off before his voice could rise above the range of human hearing.

"This is no joking matter, Mr. Bertram. I've spoken with the higher ups, and we all agree that you are the best choice. You've worked summers in construction since before you were legally permitted to, and you've been around the industry even longer. More importantly, you're local and well respected in the community."

"You're crazy. Me? That's crazy. No way."

"You can do it, Ernie." Jane's gentle grip was replaced by a fierce hug. "You can do it. You're smart. You can handle this." He looked down into her piercing blue eyes, lost for a moment in their tranquil support.

"You should do this, son." Ernie stared at his dad in disbelief, shocked that he was on board with this madness. "You should do it," he repeated. "You know you've always wanted to get away from the store. To do something different. Something of your own. This is your chance. Don't blow it."

After several moments of stunned silence, he turned back to Captain Hudson. "How would this work? If I say yes, what happens?"

A small smile flickered across her face as she opened the metal briefcase by her foot and extracted a small folder of papers. "These are the first five Teams that we want you to address."

"What am I supposed to do with these?"

"You and your new partner should review these profiles, talk to the Teammates, and make a plan for each of them. Submit your proposals to my office and we will review them. We can try to shake loose some engineering support from the Army Corps of Engineers, either the Omaha or Kansas City Districts maybe. I wouldn't count on too much from our end, honestly. Off the record, pretty much any reasonable suggestion that you put forward for this project will be approved. We don't have the time or, quite frankly, the manpower to nitpick or bureaucratize these things anymore."

"Go back. What new partner? I've only been paired with Jane, I mean Corporal Smith, for less than a week. It can't already be time for another."

The officer gave him a sympathetic pat on the shoulder. "This Operation is considered critical to national security by people at the highest levels of the military and the government. We're matching up people in this area as quickly as we can get doses of the vaccine delivered. You should expect several more partners within the next month. As far as your new partner is concerned, we have been scouring the nation for unattached women in construction fields to address this problem. One of these women who was recently added to the Oracle system was a strong match for you and she picked you. I believe she will be delivered to your home sometime this afternoon."

Glancing at Jane and receiving a nod of confirmation, she continued. "She's a construction manager we picked up from somewhere in the Dakotas. Was working on pipelines most recently, but has worked all over, managing a wide variety of projects. She should be able to advise you on what is and isn't possible."

The Captain prepared to leave the shop, but turned back with a hand on the door, an idea striking her. "If you want someone to talk to who isn't an asshole like Mr. Brummig, you should give Mr. Palmer a call. He would be a good resource for you."

"Mike? Dave? Bill? Why would any of them be any help with this?" asked Ernie.

"I forgot how many Palmers there are in this town," said Captain Hudson. "I actually meant Aaron Palmer."

Big Ernie snorted derisively. "Why the hell would anyone ask him for help? He's nothing but a lazy good-for-nothing troublemaker. Raised hell all through school and then vanished off into the wild blue yonder the day after graduation. Worried his parents sick for years. Worthless."

Captain Hudson glared at the older man. "I couldn't speak to his childhood, but I can tell you that Aaron Palmer is far from worthless. I've seen his service records, so I can tell you that there isn't much about construction that Mr. Palmer doesn't know. He's trained in pretty much every trade you might need and was an exemplary leader. He also earned a bronze star and a purple heart for dragging his commander to cover during an ambush in Afghanistan despite being wounded twice." With a final stare at Big Ernie, she returned her gaze to Little Ernie. "Please take those dossiers home and begin studying them. We will be in touch shortly."

With a final jingle of the doorbell, and a jaunty wave from Jane, the Ernies were left with only silence and stillness to contemplate everything that the Air Force officer had just dropped on them.

* * * * *

Ernie paced aimlessly around his parents' kitchen, anxiously awaiting the arrival of his second partner.

"You're going to wear a hole in my floor if you keep that up."

"Sorry mom," he muttered, not pausing in his back-and-forth trek.

"At least make yourself useful and get dinner out of the oven," she said, thrusting a pair of oven mitts into his hands before bustling back to the fridge to gather salad ingredients. Ernie placed the delicious-smelling hamburger casserole on the stove when he heard the rumble of an approaching Humvee.

Before he could dash to the front door, his mom snagged his arm. "Relax, son. They're coming inside, no need to go nuts. Take a breath and chillax." After a pause, she continued with faux innocence. "Isn't that what the kids are saying these days? Chillax?" Seeing his horrified disbelief, she couldn't stop herself and burst out laughing, breaking the tension. Baiting her son with outdated slang was always fun for her. She patted him on the shoulder and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek as the front door opened and Big Ernie greeted the two arriving women.

After a bit of indistinct murmuring, Jane stepped into the kitchen, followed by a buxom Hispanic woman with chestnut brown hair pulled back into a simple ponytail. Getting a warm kiss from Jane, he turned to the newcomer. "Hey," was all he managed to get out before getting tongue-tied.

"Hey yourself," she answered, smiling kindly at his awkwardness. "I'm Rosita Cuevas."

Silence stretched as Ernie, blushing furiously, tried to recover. He thought that after Jane, this would somehow get easier, but that didn't seem to be the case. His mother, on the other hand, had no such issues.

"Welcome Rosita. I'm Ernie's mom, Dorothy." She batted aside Rosita's extended hand and pulled her into a welcoming hug instead. She turned to her son, deciding to give him a helping hand. "Ernie, why don't you go ahead and set the table while Jane and I chat with Rosita. And tell your father that dinner will be served in five minutes, so there's no time for him to sneak off into his workshop for whatever ridiculous project he's working on now."

"I heard that, Ducky," Ernie Sr. shouted from the other room. "I don't get no respect. This one's going to be a real winner. Just you wait."

"Don't listen to him, girls." The three women made short work of the final dinner preparations and the growing family soon sat down at the table.

"Who's that seat for?" asked Rosita, pointing to the empty chair on Big Ernie's left side.

"That's Bethany's spot," said Little Ernie, eager to have a conversation opener. "She's running a little late today but called and said we should start without her." Seeing Rosita's eyebrow quirked inquiringly, he continued. "She's mom's best friend. And dad's second partner. She just moved in a couple days ago."

As if summoned by their conversation, Bethany bustled into the house, dropping her bags by the door and stepping into the kitchen. Giving Ernie's parents each a quick kiss on the cheek, she turned her attention to Rosita as she sat down. "You must be Junior's new partner. Or at least, I hope you're here for him and not this guy," she joked, gently elbowing Big Ernie. "I don't think his old heart could take the stress."

"She's here for us, Ms. Tubbard," confirmed Jane with a giggle.

"It's Bethany, dear. Just Bethany. We're all family now. No need for formality."

Conversation was replaced by the gentle murmur of hungry people digging into a hearty and delicious meal. The volume picked up slowly as the meal continued, with dessert devolving into a raucous and joyous cacophony. Scooping up the last crumbs of his scotcheroo, Ernie leaned back, a grin splitting his relaxed and contented face. He was thoroughly pleased to see that his family was welcoming his new partner with open arms.

Once everyone was finished with the meal, Rosita rested her hand softly on Ernie's knee. "Ladies, this was delicious. Thank you all so much for welcoming me into your home. If you would excuse us, I have some important business to discuss with Ernie here." Standing, she grabbed Ernie's hand and half-dragged him out of the kitchen.

As the back door swung shut, everyone at the table burst out laughing.

"Important business," giggled Bethany.

"That's a new one," added Jane. "I'm gonna have to remember that."

Their amusement was interrupted by a loud groaning wafting in from the back window.

Blushing, Ernie turned to his wife. "Come on, Ducky. Let's give those kids a little privacy." The older couple fled the room, leaving Bethany and Jane to finish cleaning up.

"No jealous twinges?" asked Bethany after a moment.

"I mean, maybe a little. It's kind of hard, but I knew what I was getting into from the jump. And it's not like we had a long-standing monogamous relationship that suddenly had to become poly." Jane paused, taking a sip of her drink and thinking. "He's very sweet. Lots of love to give. Hopefully enough to go around, knowing what's coming down the line."

"Coming down the line? For Ernie?"

"Things are gonna get...a little hectic for him."

Their conversation was interrupted by Rosita's crescendoing orgasm, followed by complete silence. "I think that's my cue to go on up," said Jane.

"One good thing about being partnered to a young guy like Junior," joked Bethany. "Round Two."

Chuckling, Jane slipped out of the house and headed for the apartment over the garage, already getting herself properly attired for Round Two.

* * * * *

July 20, 2020

Ernie took a couple of deep breaths staring at the stately old Victorian house through his windshield. "You can do this. It's no big deal."

"I'm not worried about it, Ernie," said Rosita from the passenger seat of his truck.

"I'm not talking to you. Do you know who lives here? Who we decided, for some crazy ass reason, to start with?"

Rosita glanced down at her clipboard full of notes. "We're starting with...Mr. and Mrs. Lehrer...yeah, Charles and Margaret Lehrer."

"Exactly! Mrs. Lehrer." Seeing her blank expression, he explained. "Mrs. Lehrer. The most feared teacher at Hopewell Elementary. Everything is all puppies and rainbows and then you get to Mrs. Lehrer's fourth grade classroom and its discipline and responsibility, with a side of Old Testament fire and brimstone. That's who we're going to see. First."

"Got a little deep-seated fourth grade trauma there, do we?"

"Maybe. Probably. Yes." She gave him a kiss on the cheek, then turned his head for a deeper one.

"Suck it up, stud. Let's do this shit."

"You're lucky you're cute." He gave another quick kiss before opening the door of his truck and stepping out. "Come on, hot stuff. Just remember that whatever happens, this is your fault."

Stepping onto the expansive wraparound porch, he put his hand on the antique doorbell, taking a deep breath before giving it a solid twist and stepping back, straightening his stance.

The door swung open, revealing a petite older woman, wearing her trademark pleated khaki slacks and bland twinset cardigan. "Mr. Bertram."

"Mrs. Lehrer," he answered respectfully. "Thank you for seeing us this morning. This is my partner, Rosita Cuevas."

"It is a pleasure to meet you, Ms. Cuevas. The young woman that I spoke with on the telephone indicated that this would be an important meeting. Charles is unable to attend due to his ongoing work responsibilities, but I am certainly capable of representing this family. Please come in."

Seeing the sheaf papers in Rosita's hands, the imposing teacher gestured towards the dining room. Ernie swiftly pulled a chair out for Rosita, ignoring her perplexed expression in favor of keeping an eye on Mrs. Lehrer's grudging nod of approval.

"The floor is yours, Mr. Bertram, Ms. Cuevas."

With another deep breath and a confidence-inspiring knee squeeze from Rosita, Ernie launched into the spiel he had been honing over the past several days.

"Ma'am, thank you for taking the time to speak with us today. We are here at the request of the Government to help you address an issue that we think will become a large concern for your family as time goes on: housing." Mrs. Lehrer nodded in response, easing his tension and smoothing his delivery. "As your Team, your family, continues to grow, your current space is unlikely to be sufficient. We have been asked to work with you to see how the government can help you address this problem."

Mrs. Lehrer gave Ernie a considering look as his speech ran down. "Adequate delivery, Mr. Bertram," she eventually said, giving him another small nod. Seeing his stunned expression, she permitted a small smile to slip out. "I see Mr. Paulson's lessons on formal presentations were not wasted on you. I will be sure to inform him of this at our next professional development session." With another nod, she turned to Rosita, who had started spreading paperwork out on the table. "He always was precocious as a young man, and it seems that has not changed. What are you proposing?"

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