Rahab Bk. 06 Ch. 02: Death & Life

"He died suddenly this morning. His father is devastated and has declared two weeks of mourning. Everyone is in shock. Even the Grand Vizier and Irene cannot coax the Sultan out of seclusion. There is a sense here that anything might happen."

Svetlana's missive reached me three days after the event. As she had promised, I rewarded the bearer handsomely. So Şehzade Mahmud, the longed-for designated heir had died. His mother, Irene, and the Grand Vizier had invested so much in him, and he had been their guarantee that Mehmet would listen to them. As the Sultan's own health had begun to break down, Mahmud had become ever more important; he was the future Sultan. But now he was no more, and all those hopes had evaporated like the morning mists with the advent of the sun.

Ana looked at me and asked what it would mean for us.

I had to confess that it was unclear. There was a level at which it was good news. Irene was no friend of mine, and the Grand Vizier did not share the Sultan's view of me, so Mahmud's death blocked the road to a future where the two of them would rule through him. But I was fond of the Sultan, he had been kind to me, and in his own way he had loved me. I was upset at the thought that he was distraught, but there was nothing I could do.

I called for Commander Kunt and told him to have the guard on alert. I could not quite say why, even to myself. But I was glad I had done it, because the following day a second missive arrived from Svetlana: "The Sultan is dead. Flee!"

I was stunned. It felt as though the world was shaking on its foundations. The Padishah was the man whose faith in me had placed me where I was, and without him what would happen? The moment I had dreaded had come, and come on a sudden. The news had reached me before it reached others, and that allowed me to be ready. I summoned the Amirs to a meeting at the Grand Serail.

I called Ana and Mel to my chamber to concert our plan.

"Mel, my darling, "we stay with your idea, which is that until there is some directive from Constantinople, I remain here."

The meeting was a tense one. The news of the Sultan's death had, as these things did, percolated through, and everyone was uneasy, wondering what it would portend. So I took the initiative. There was, I said, no reason why in our part of the Empire anything should change. The wars were in the West, we were settled, and we had enough to do with digesting Armenia. We could, I warned them, fall into disarray jostling for supremacy, but to what effect? Would they find a Viceroy more willing than myself to share the general prosperity and to let them be?

I could see that point had registered from their nodding to each other. It was my strongest suite. Greedy and self-centred as they were, arguments ad personam appealed to them in a way that altruism never would.

As usual after such meetings, I conferred with Mel, Ana and Damila. The latter was anxious to ensure that the hold of the Al-Amadins was consolidated in the Lebanon, and I could be absolutely sure of her loyalty. I took her mind on the others, and we were agreed that the only trouble might come from the extreme south. The more puritanical strain of Islam which had plotted the death of the Sultan, and with which Dogu had conspired, was strongest in the Arabian deserts, and it might take the opportunity to strike if there were any signs of instability. It seemed wise to strengthen the garrison down that way, so I sent Commander Kunt down there.

So we waited. From the South the Commander reported there was some unrest, but no sign of rebellion. Locally things remained the same - a reminder of the vastness of the Empire and the relative autonomy of its component parts. A full two months after the new of the Sultan's death came a firman from his successor confirming me in office. So, the great event - his death - had happened, and nothing changed.

But that night I slept poorly, and my dreams were haunted by nameless phantoms. It felt as though there had been a great disturbance in the fabric of the world. I clung to Ana, waking snuggled into her bosom; I needed the comfort she offered me.

I could offer no reason for my distress, but even Mel, who was a good judge of these things, thought I looked pale and wan.

Two months later, after the morning audiences there came a message that a merchant from England wants to see me. He had, he said, a letter for me. I got Mel to reward him and then opened the missive. It was from Will. The Great Bess was dead. She had died the night of my evil dreams; she was the disturbance to the fabric of the universe. I sobbed. Mel and Ana held me. I cancelled my programme for the next week.

Sixteen years had passed since we had been lovers. I had often thought of her with fondness. Except for Ana and Mel, she had been my greatest love, and though we had had no contact in all that time, I remembered her love as though it had been yesterday. Like I would, she had gone, leaving no progeny. Her name, unlike mine, would ring down the ages to come, and her legend would grow.

I talked about her with Ana, who in truth resembled her greatly. Both had indomitable spirits and hearts like a lion. They were both beautiful, though in truth no one could compare to my Ana. She shone for me like the morning sun; she was the centre of my world. With my patronage, the Bodyguard was able to expand, and it gave me huge satisfaction and pleasure to see Ana's realm expand. The defences were strengthened and improved, and steps were taken to conceal all traces of the tomb.

If the death of the Sultan and the great Elizabeth marked a caesura for me, there was a third development that year which portended the shape of things to come. Tsar Feodor had died five years earlier and been succeeded by Godunov. At first he had been popular, and there had been worries that this might presage moves southwards at our expense. But now came the rumour that he was seriously ill. Russian politics was dominated for the next period of years by the question of who might succeed him; this mean an end to any fears from that front.

Geopolitically, these circumstances played in my favour. With Russia in no position to press me to the north, and with the Empire embroiled in what seemed to be an interminable war with the Austrians, I was left to my own devices, which suited me very well.

With Mel helping me grip the finances, and with no siphoning off money for my private use, there was enough revenue to feed the greed of the Amirs and the Sultan. Locally we established schools and even a university. Scholars from across the region joined us, and we set an example of what could be done by a government not based upon the dubious principle of self-enrichment.

If the land prospered, then so did the three of us.

Love, it turned out, was more than we could ever have imagined. Our love had grown out of an attraction which, it transpired, was far more deeply-based than physicality, but of which the physicality was a crucial expression. We all began to understand in our hearts something we had understood with our heads: that lust and love, while connected, were not the same.

So, when I looked at Ana, I could still hardly believe that such a gorgeous creature thought that I was sexually desirable. Ana herself was almost an exemplar of the Greek concept of beauty. Physically she was like one of those statues of Aphrodite, but a living, breathing Goddess. She was also brave; the bravest woman I knew. She was incredibly driven. Her dedication to the cause of the Marble King and preserving this last bastion of Roman civilisation was absolute.

At the beginning we had juggled our vocations and our sex lives, but the longer-term demanded that we channel our desires and create a stable and ordered way of being that would allow us to do the things we needed to do, but also to love each other; loving each other was crucial to allowing us the strength to do those things. We learned not only how to please each other, but when to do so. There were no boundaries between us, and at any time, the other could call upon unconditional love for help. Knowing Ana was there was, sometimes, enough in itself. But something else happened, and that was unexpected, but once noticed, obvious.

We learned from each other; we even became more alike. I would never have the bravery or the beauty of Ana, but from those things being bestowed on me by her love, I came to realise I could be brave, and that I was not devoid of beauty; and that made me a better person. I stopped worrying about how to please people and just tried to do the right thing, and having Ana and Mel there to help me decide that was a wonderful advantage.

Then there was Mel, who sometimes, we both knew, felt like a third wheel on a two wheel chariot. But we helped her see what we knew from the start, which is that she was essential to our happiness. She was such a darling. Selfless as anyone could ever be, and to see her with the children helping them was to realise what a huge spirit Mel had; children respond to love; they responded to Mel with little short of adoration. She was, l in truth, the little mother of all the world. There was no one in need who could not receive help from Mel. But woe betide anyone who betrayed her trust, or tried to harm myself or Ana; they were cast beyond the pale.

Our love deepened our lives, as I came to realise it was meant to. When I was younger I had seen sex almost as an end in itself. Of course I knew it was in some way linked with love, but not realising what love was meant I had not realised what good sex was either. That did not mean it was not enjoyable, but looking back, I realised that the reason I had been so blow away by my affair with the Great Queen was that I had fallen for her emotionally, as she had for me. We were two women bound, so it seemed, by our vocation, to loneliness who, for a brief span, could banish that feeling and be one. That it could not last had meant we had not had to worry about the future. We could enjoy it while it lasted; only later did I realise why it had been special.

The stabilisation of the political situation meant that for the first time I had to consider the long-term. But that was where our developing love provided an organic answer.

"You love eating me out don't you, darling?" Ana asked, looking down at me as I cleaned her thighs and lips after she had climaxed. "My wet-faced Rahab, you look adorable. Come here!"

It was late on Friday night, the moment we could finally relax, and as usual, I had not been able to resist her.

I slid up her body, my erect little nipples rubbing against her sweat, and I moaned a little. She pulled me to her and we kissed.

"I love tasting myself on you Rahab. That was so good my darling. Are you happy?"

I snuggled against her, declaring myself perfectly happy. We kissed long and deep.

"We should get married," she said, as we broke for air.

"We can't darling, no one would allow us too."

"As Viceroy Rahab, you have the power!"

So I did.

"And, my darling, as head of the Bodyguard, you have a similar power, so I think I can see a way forward here," I giggled with delight.

Over the next month we made the arrangements.

Thus is was that on a summer's evening in June, we travelled to the Tomb of the Marble King. Mel, Ana and I changed into our finery in Ana's room. Ana and Mel looked like models for some Greek sculptor; of myself I shall not speak. But in our finest white linen, all three of us looked, Helena said, like angels.

As we stepped out into the chapel where the tomb lay, we saw the Assembly. There, in pride of place were Damila, Ayesha and Jess, as well as Helena and the Bodyguard. To my delight, there was also Alyssa, the woman whose help had been vital in defeating the threat from the Mongol Khan.

The incense filled the air, and the candles lit the scene, the tall arched ceiling seeming to draw the light up until it vanished. There was a low chanting from the religious sisters who tended the shrine. I felt overwhelmed.

I stepped forward and faced the congregation. Ana and Mel stood before me, holding hands. I smiled at them.

"Here, in this special place, we have come to declare to our friends what the world will not allow, which is to say that the love of woman for woman has the same value as the love of woman for man. So, Anastasia and Melody, are you determined to give yourselves to each other in love, and in so doing, uniting your hearts and souls?"

Ana looked at Mel.

"I am."

Mel looked at Ana.

"I am."

"By the authority vested in me, I pronounce you wife and wife."

I felt a tear come to my eye as they kissed.

Ana stepped forward and Mel and I held hands and swore the same promise.

The Damila came forward.

"Rahab and Ana, you have been able to solemnise the love between each of you and Mel, but now it is time that your own love was recognised. So, do I have one here who will propose these women should marry each other?"

"You do," said Mel and Helena together.

"I bring Rahab for this special moment," Mel said,

"And I bring Ana," added Helena.

Ana seemed to be an angel. I looked up. There was a golden halo around her head, no doubt and optical effect of the candles and incense, but I saw it all the same. Our hands touched. Our eyes locked each on the other.

"Are you determined to be one for now and forever?" Damila asked.

"Being all in all to each other and to Mel?" She added.

"I am," I declared in a loud voice.

"As am I," Ana added.

"I pronounce you wife and wife, body of one body, soul of one soul."

I put my arms around Ana's neck, and she lifted me to her lips, and we kissed. At the moment I was lost to the world and world was lost to me. We were one. I knew then that only death could part us - and then it would not be forever.

We celebrated with out friends long into the summer night, and when the three of us retired to our chamber, we made sweet passionate love until the moon was worn out with watching us. We celebrated our love, and as the sun rose, we looked each at the other - and we knew then that we were ONE.