Ready Ch. 05-06

Deonne Starts to Get a Clue

"Dr. Massey's residence."

Deonne heard her sister's voice on the other end of the line and a huge lump instantly formed in her throat, a massive sob threatening to erupt out if she said a word. She had wanted to talk to someone and she needed to tell her family about Kevin. Besides, maybe Loud Mouth Andrew had only gotten around to blabbing about her deployment to the one person on earth he shouldn't have! She stood there trying to recover enough to speak.

"Hello? Hello! If you don't say something soon, I'm going to..." Becca threatened. Stupid angry patient making a prank call, she thought.

"He left me, Becca!" she announced, with the last word ending on a wail.

There was a pause while Becca put it all together.

"Oh, Deonne," she replied softly. "Sweetheart, what happened?"

"We got... got in this fight at the hotel. He got so mad at me... and he left!" The last words had her sobbing again.

Becca waited. Little Timmy came up to his mother demanding to be held, so she picked him up and went to the fridge with the phone wedged between her shoulder and ear. Timmy happily took his sippy cup and wiggled to be put down.

"What made him so mad, honey?"

"He found out I'm deploying in a couple weeks."

"You're deploying in a couple weeks? Before Christmas? Deonne! Why didn't you say anything?"

"I just wanted Thanksgiving to be normal. I didn't want to spend the whole time talking about it." Deonne wiped her eyes with the back of her hand and sniffed. Why did she have to be such a damned girly-girl about these things?

"Honey, he'll get over it. Of course he's mad! Have you talked to him since you got home?"

"No. I haven't had the nerve to try. I've picked up the phone a hundred times, but I don't know what I can say to make it right. I don't think he's going to get over it. He's really mad and it's more than that. He wants me to get out. We've been having that argument for months."

"Oh, I see."

Her sister fell silent for a while before expressing, "Deonne, you're dating a guy in the Army. How can that work out? So, he wants you to get out so you can be within a hundred miles of each other, what's wrong with that? Does he plan to stay in the Army, make a career of it?"

"Oh, yeah. He's a warrior. Eats it up."

"You're a warrior at heart too, Deonne. A fighter. And what did you call flying... an addiction? You can't believe they pay you to do it? Is that what you said once?" Becca reminded her as she smiled into the phone.

Deonne was surprised. She never thought Becca paid much attention to her.

"But Deonne, I never thought you really wanted to make a career out of the Navy. You've told me yourself that your job takes all of you and leaves very little left over and you couldn't imagine a year-long deployment away from a child. You're going to have to make a decision sometime. You only have a year left."

"Yeah, but... What if I do it, get out, move clear across country to a strange place and I end up with nothing but a broken heart and trashed career? And, I don't know if I want to, or even can live almost everyday wondering if he's safe. He does dangerous work, and I understand better than most just how dangerous. It's easier being in the military than being married to it."

She flopped down onto her overstuffed, shabby-chic couch. Not that marriage was ever brought up, she thought sadly . "Besides," Deonne added, "I don't even know if he loves me."

A laugh burst from Becca. "You're kidding me, right?"

"Well, he's never said. There's lust, for sure, but isn't love more? He doesn't give me anything, just, 'move over here'."

Laughing quietly, Becca shook her head. Her sister was so clueless! So insecure! "Trust me! I don't really know him, but it's obvious that he's crazy about you. I get the impression that man would walk on hot coals for you, darling!" Feeling her sister's doubts, she said, "Honey, think. What man in his right mind would travel hundreds of miles to take on a tribe of Appalachian barbarians? For an occasional toss in the sack? That man's in love with you.

"Ahh, sweetheart, you have so much to offer, you accomplish everything you ever set out to do, how can you be so unsure of yourself? Maybe he's waiting for something more from you. He's taking a risk, too, you know?"

Hoping some of that would sink in, Becca paused before adding, "And one more thing before I have to go and do car pool. There is no guarantee in the love business, but sometimes you have to step out and take a chance. You have to decide if you think this thing with Kevin is worth the gamble.

"For a girl who gambles her life everyday, you sure are timid about your heart! Honey, if you aren't willing, walk away and be happy for what you had. If not, call him. He may have been the one to leave, but you might have to be the one to make the first step and that's going to be hard from an aircraft carrier. He needs something from you."

Deonne stared at her phone after she hung up. Opening it back up she punched in Kevin's speed dial, but her finger paused over the send button. Sucking in a breath she pressed.

"You've reached the cell phone of Captain Kevin Banning, I'm not available right now, please leave a message and I'll return it if I can, otherwise reach me at the unit."

"Hi, Kevin. It's me, Deonne. Please call me back. Please don't end it like this." By now Deonne was whispering, tears in her voice. "Please call me."

He didn't call.

Christmas morning came and normal operations were suspended on the carrier and Deonne didn't have the duty until later. Deonne had just flown in four days ago and was still trying to get settled. This was her second cruise, though the first was much shorter, and, like last time, everyone was cranked up into high gear at the beginning of a tour.

She was sitting on her bed with her meager gifts and cards spread out in front of her, thoroughly depressed. Most of the squadron was celebrating together down at the ward room. Due to her own lack of communication most of her family had not been able to do their usual gift mailing to her in time. Her sister, Megan, in Australia had known because she could never keep a secret from her and besides, she was safely half a world away!

Becca must have rushed out the minute she hung up from their call and bought her gifts and mailed them. Camille and Phil's neatly wrapped gift with white on white paper and ribbon came by overnight courier at the last minute along with the sweetest Nativity finger painting by George Junior. That she hung up in her small desk area immediately. Thankfully, she had had time to stow them aboard before the ship sailed.

Christmas was always the most depressing day of the year for Deonne since she joined the Navy and this one was definitely ranking number one. No matter how many people were around the only people she wanted to see were her family. And Kevin.

Reaching down, she opened Megan's card first. She missed Megan almost as much as she missed Kevin. They sent e-mails daily, even when Deonne was aboard, and they talked about once a week. Opening the summer beach-time inspired holiday card, she had to smile. She had trouble imagining Christmas celebrated at the beach like many Sydney-siders did, according to her sister. Her sister had a short message for her.

Dee-Dee,

Merry Christmas, sis! Cheer up. I know you're sitting around moping during your very few spare moments. STOP THAT!!

I can't wait until your stopover in Australia. I have the hotel in Perth already reserved. Callum says 'G'day' or some such Aussie anachronism (he's not actually here right now), and looks forward to meeting you.

Love, Megan

P.S. Do you remember when you were little what you wanted to be when you grew up? Think about it.

A teacher and a mommy.

That was all she had wanted to be and she taught and dressed and fed every stuffed animal and baby doll they owned. Then one day a random airplane had flown low over the farm, a vintage twin tailed P-38 Lightning. Deonne had immediately added pilot to her short list.

*****

Pride goeth ...

"I showed her!" Kevin slammed his beer down on the round bar table where it joined its three empty mates.

"You sure did," James replied, casting a wry look over his brother before nursing his own beer. He was down 1-4 against Kevin and it was going to stay that way.

When he arrived at Kevin's apartment he took one look at his brother and got confirmation of what he suspected. Kevin was fucked up. James had thought he was going to have to beat the shit out of Kevin for hurting Deonne, but, thankfully, Kevin was doing a good enough job on himself. He knew Kevin wasn't completely wasted, but those two JD's he sucked down before James moved him to beer, along with depression, was greasing the skids and Kevin was getting pretty sad and chatty.

"I just wanted her to be with me. What's so fuckin' wrong with that? Am I such a bad guy?"

James looked at Kevin's hurt little-boy expression and couldn't help but laugh, it was so comical. Kevin didn't appreciate his humor and his look changed to one of anger.

"'Be with you'? Like shack up?" James asked, his voice raising an octave and shaking his head, "Deonne ain't wired that way, shithead. She may be givin' ya some free milk, but she's a cow you have to buy."

"You callin' my girl a cow?" Kevin started to stand, fury distorting his face.

"No, Kev, you asshole. Haven't you ever heard the phrase, 'Why buy the cow if the milk's free?' Deonne's a 'good girl'. She's what you bring home to momma."

"Damn straight, she is!"

"And she ain't 'your girl' anymore. You dumped her," he reminded Kevin with a look of disgust. "You're so fucked up, man."

He sipped his beer, it was getting warm. He gazed at his brother. The hair was neat and in regulation, the face shaven, but his usually intelligent eyes that missed nothing were bloodshot and unfocused. His gray ARMY t-shirt and jeans looked clean but had obviously been pulled out of a basket.

"You ever tell her how you feel?"

"Of course! I told her I wanted her to come be with me," he said, and stabbed his finger at James to make his point, "that we're an 'us'. Why she think I chase her all over the place? If I... if I just wanted some pussy, I can stay home, make a phone call.

"Shee-it! I could have all the PUSSY I wanted! I don't need to go to Goddamned SAN DIEGO, or go to the fuckin' middle-of-nowhere OHIO to take on her brothers. Them motherfuckers could be the offensive line of the Cinnca-rati... Cinnci... a fuckin' football team! Big ass mothers."

Worn out from his little speech he leaned over his drink with his shoulders rounded and arms hanging down between his legs. He looked up at James, his forehead wearing a wrinkled, almost earnest expression.

"You're a regular prince charming. Girls are all about feelings. They want to know about love and shit like that. You tell her you love her? Bring up marriage, kids, the future?" James wondered if his reasoning was wasted, the alcohol seemed to be catching up.

"Fuck no," and with that, he took a gulp of beer. "I couldn't fuckin' get her to get out of her precious fuckin' Navy."

James snorted. Even Lt. James M. Banning, USN, and master cursing specialist was beginning to tire of the 'f' word.

"You ever seen what one of those fuckin' planes look like when it hits the fuckin' ground? Have you?"

James shook his head. He had seen enough video of them crashing on deck and cart-wheeling across the ocean. Give him his sinking sewer pipe any day.

"Well, it ain't fuckin' pretty, little bro'! It ain't pretty," again with the finger pointing. "And you know what those motherfuckers do when they capture a female?"

"She knew what she was getting into, Kev. She chose to do it."

"No, she chose to fly planes, no way she thought about that shit. She thinks she's fuckin' invincible. Well, I choose to not sit around and worry. That's why I left her, 'cause I'm not going to worry. Fuck no. I ain't worryin'. Not me," he decided and swung his head from side to side. Having finished his declaration, he lifted his mug and finished the last half of his beer. Looking around he waved his arm for the barmaid.

"She's got her life. I got mine," he said with conviction that only comes from a bottle.

"It's a good thing you don't really love her. Because then it would be really hard to walk away, and we can see this isn't the case."

"Fuck you." Kevin gave him a sloppy, half-hearted middle finger.

The barmaid brought over his beer and started to set it down.

"Don't give him that," James told her.

"Of course she's goin' to give it to me, aren't you, babe?" He smiled at the young girl before grabbing it from her and guzzling a third of it. James sighed.

"Bring us the tab. We're outta here." James looked at her firmly. Glancing at Kevin, she nodded her agreement. It wasn't 8:30 and he was well on his way.

James pulled up to Kevin's off-post apartment and waited while his brother struggled to get his brain and limbs to negotiate getting out of the car. Hopefully the stairs wouldn't be quite as challenging.

Upon entering the apartment James held his breath trying to avoid the stench. Kevin had always been pretty neat, well trained by their mother and the military academy, but things had changed lately. Take-out containers littered every surface, crusty plates filled the dirty sink and trash was overflowing. Laundry, junk mail and dust covered anything that was left. It had been a long two months since the break-up.

James had always suspected that Kevin got the apartment for Deonne. He had always stayed in BOQ saying it was too much of a hassle with his kind of work to live off-post. If he wanted privacy with a girl, he just got a room for the night. But Deonne wasn't some cheap lay from out of town, and Kevin was... nesting? The thought amused James.

"Let's clean this shit up. I can't sleep in this dump." James looked over at Kevin who had sprawled on the black leather couch.

"Knock yourself out, little bro'," Kevin mumbled on a yawn and closed his eyes.

"Fuck."

*****

Stepping out of the bathroom from his shower the next morning, Kevin looked around his living room with appreciation.

"Thanks for cleaning my shit up for me, man. You didn't have to do that, you know?"

"Hell yeah, I did. You think I was staying in a toxic waste dump? For a chem major you sure let things get out of control. I think there was flesh-eating material crawling out of your trash can."

James tossed him a bag with a breakfast sandwich in it. He had gone out to retrieve much needed groceries while Kevin was still asleep.

"You're coffee's on the table over there. Be sure to throw your trash away this time, loser."

Kevin gave him a middle finger salute for his effort towards reforming him before he unwrapped his sandwich.

"So, what you going to do about your fucked-up life, big brother?" James was in a serious mood today. Maybe it was the three hours of unexpected housework that affected his usual good nature.

Kevin took a healthy bite of his food and grabbed his coffee before sitting across from James.

"Live it. What else?"

"E-mail her."

"It's over."

"It's only over if you let it be over."

"Drop it."

"Ain't that the way it always is with you? It's always got to be your way. You want what you want and you want it right now. You played that game with Deonne and look at you. She didn't fall in line with your agenda, so you showed her! Couldn't you give the one person on the planet you want in your life the one thing you don't give anyone else? A little patience? Time?

"No wonder she held out and didn't tell you she was deploying, she probably knew you'd go off like a rocket. And from what I gather, she still doesn't know you love her! Damn, you're an idiot and a coward." James braced himself and watched Kevin, surprised he didn't come across the glass coffee table.

"You wait long enough, she will move on and leave your sorry ass behind."

Kevin glowered at his brother.

"You don't know shit."

"Sure. If you aren't going to do the right thing then you need to move on. You ain't the damn victim here, so stop acting like one. You can't stay in this funk." He gave Kevin his best I'm-serious-now look before continuing. "And I'm telling you, if you don't figure it out soon, I'm sending in Momma. I'm coming back up here in two weeks and if your shit ain't happening, she's gonna be here on the next flight out."

"You shittin' me? You gonna do what?" Kevin was incredulous.

"Just try me."

Frankly, James was right. He hadn't given her the time and space she needed, he hadn't given her enough of himself to even expect to her make that big of a commitment. He hadn't been an idiot, he'd been a first rate ass. Kevin didn't know what he could do about Deonne besides write her, but as he told James, that was too little, too late.

If he did write her, what would he say? "Please forgive me for being a dick. By the way, in two years, if we can work it out, can we just take off where we left a few months ago?" Since he hadn't been able to come up with anything better than that, he just left it.

Besides, he wasn't sure of her. She had called him and was sorry, but what made her hesitate in the first place? Was it really like she said, or was she not really sure? He always feared a long-term separation. He had seen the drift that can happen with couples and he knew it would be tough. From experience, he knew that absence did not always make the heart grow fonder.

James was also right about pulling himself together. He had guys counting on him, even in training. He needed his head together and focused. Besides, having his mother get in his business was the last thing he needed.

*****

Chapter 6

Kevin's A Very Lonely Puppy

He was fucking her. Wet, tight, the rhythm of her inner walls squeezing and releasing, driving him ever closer to his sweet deliverance. That lovely pink pussy, so enticing, thrusting back, trying to swallow him, and he wanted it too, oh God, how he wanted to just live in that moist warm cocoon and never leave.

Yeah baby, that's it, yesss, there.

Ahh, he felt it, that special pressure in his balls. Soon. Come on baby, keep milking daddy.

Awareness penetrated and slowly he felt the emptiness around him. His raging hard-on lay not in Deonne's moist center, but on his stomach screaming at him for help. Kevin ran his hand down his stomach and gripped his cock, giving himself initial relief. With a low groan, he fucked his hand. He wished she were here, his hand a poor substitute. He wanted to feel her moist heat surround him, her legs wrapped around him. He'd jerked off in the shower before bed, hoping it would get him through the night, but it wasn't enough, it never was.

Deonne was his permanent jack-off fantasy and he couldn't get enough. His mind constantly wandered, remembering her soft pale breasts filling his hands, the pink tipped nipples so kissable and sensitive, and how her narrow hips flared out gently from her waist, the pale skin so smooth and flawless. He loved to run his hands over her, down that flat stomach and over her hips to her thighs before moving to the tender inside flesh, opening her. Still surprisingly shy on occasion she would turn her head, biting her lips from embarrassment, but he didn't care. He needed to see her and, bending low, he would sniff her special scent before pleasuring her.

He remembered her delicious pussy while his hand worked over his long, thick shaft. He visualized her bush, prepared for him the way he wanted, leaving a somewhat wide triangular patch of close-trimmed dark hair pointing to her pink pearl, the rest waxed clean. No bald pussies for him, he wanted to know he was fucking a woman, not a child. He loved how her clit was always available, never quite in hiding. When he sucked it the little bud would elongate, like a tiny little finger.