Ready For Love

Brandi had chosen a very pretty long-sleeved black sweater to wear over a cute, white blouse with French cuffs. She'd paired it with a short, black skirt that fell to about four inches above her knees, and was wearing a pair of three-inch black heels with an ankle straps.

The gold cuff links on her very feminine-looking blouse were matched by gold earrings and a gold snap on the black leather purse she was carrying as well as the gold buckles on her shoes.

Her makeup was unbelievably perfect from her nicely-shaped brows to her pretty eyes to her shiny, glossy, dark-red lips.

"Will you be warm enough, honey?" her mom asked.

"I think so, Mom, but thanks for asking," she replied with a smile.

Brandi was well aware most women dressed much more casually, but she was still at a point where wearing jeans and a tee shirt wasn't any fun. She loved dressing nicely and appearing like she was on a break from work where she might possibly be an executive assistant or perhaps even an attorney.

Kathy had one other question to ask, and it was one she'd avoided for quite some time. But knowing her beautifully-dressed daughter was going out alone, she felt like this was a reasonable time to ask.

"Brandi? I was just wondering. Do you ever, you know, get asked out when you're out dressed as a girl?"

Brandi smiled, and Kathy was amazed as usual. Her smile was so beautiful. Her teeth were straight and white, and it was hard to imagine men wouldn't be attracted to her.

"Yes," she said sweetly. "Several times."

"And have you ever said 'yes'?" her mother asked without judgment.

"No," she said quietly indicating there was more she wanted to say.

"But?"

"Well, when I'm Brandon, I'm only and always attracted to girls. But as Brandi, I'm mostly attracted to...men."

"Oh. I see," her mom said, although she really didn't 'see' at all as the realization set in that this was yet one more thing to which she would to learn to accept.

"I can't explain it, Mom. It's like wanting to dress like this. I have no idea why I love it so. I only know that I do. I can't explain why handsome men appeal to me, but they do. So while I've never even held hands with a man, were the right man to ask me out, I would definitely say 'yes'. So far, I've politely declined each such invitation because I wasn't interested in the men who asked me."

When her mother didn't respond, Brandi said, "I'm sure that's confusing for you, but again, it's the truth."

It wasn't just the knowledge this was something else she would have to accept, it also carried with serious implications for grandchildren down the road. And while Kathy would never say anything to hurt her daughter's feelings, she very much wanted to be a grandmother one day. But were Brandi to say...marry a man, how could that ever be possible?

The only thing she could do was smile and tell Brandi 'thank you'.

Brandi got ready to leave, and when she turned sideways, her mom said, "Honey? Your...boobs...look smaller. Am I imagining that?"

She turned back around, smiled, then said, "No. I've experimented with everything from no bra to a 'D' cup, and I think I prefer this look the best. It's a full 'B' or maybe a small 'C', and based on my height and body type, I think it's very flattering. What you do think, Mom?"

"Oh. I...I have to agree. It's just that you were um...very big...the last few times I saw you as Brandi, and I just noticed the difference."

Brandi laughed and said, "Yes, that was my 'D' phase, and it's just way too big for me. I could even go a little smaller than this, but I do like 'having' boobs, so I think this will be my preferred size from here on out."

"Well, it does suit you. It's kind of a Goldilocks look. Not too big and not too small."

"Well, the 'just right' look is what I'm striving for al around, so hearing you say that makes me very happy, Mom," Brandi told her.

"Okay, well, have fun, honey."

"I always do, Mom. And thank you so much for being so supportive. That means everything to me."

Kathy smiled then watched her daughter walk away. She was so graceful and smooth and natural it really was impossible to tell she wasn't a girl.

The padded undergarment she always wore had been computer-designed and gave her bottom a very womanly shape that was perfectly smooth and undetectable even in a very short, very tight dress. It looked perfect with the skirt Brandi was wearing, and Kathy had to admit her daughter was downright beautiful no matter what she was under the pretty clothes.

"Model beautiful," she said to herself as Brandi opened the door to the garage.

Brandi put on a pair of chic sunglasses as she pulled her car out of the garage and into the bright sunlight. She took a quick look in the mirror before putting them on, and was very happy with the way her eyes looked. Were she going out at night, she'd have added some darker colors and more shadow, but it was still more than enough to make her gorgeous blue eyes pop.

She gently brushed back her long, dark, silky hair so she could see to the sides then backed into the street and headed for the park.

It was beyond thrilling to be out in public as Brandi, and the feeling never got old. Yes, it was becoming more comfortable, but it was always such a high to be driving or walking or just sitting at a cafe having a cup of coffee.

And true to her word, her mom had indeed been willing to go shopping with her. Initially only as Brandon, but recently she'd gotten the nerve to go to a local mall with Brandi. Not only were there no 'looks' or laughter, there were a lot of looks from men of all ages, many of whom smiled at her very attractive daughter. Not even other women could tell, and being a woman herself, Kathy would have known instantly had another female been able to tell Brandi was really Brandon. But that hadn't happened nor anything close to it.

In less than ten minutes, Brandi pulled into the parking lot of Fauntleroy Park, her favorite of the many parks in the area, found a spot, and turned off the engine.

She grabbed her purse, then carefully raised both legs after opening the door and set them on the ground, her knees held together very closely. She stood up, smoothed her skirt, closed the door, then slung her purse over her arm and headed down the path closest to her.

It was Saturday and a day off for most people, and there was no school, either. In fact, the University of Washington would be on Spring Break the following week, and Brandi intended on taking every possible opportunity to get out and about. She was definitely overdressed for a weekend outing, but it was possible she was on a break from work which would explain her professional-looking appearance which might otherwise draw attention. Taking a break in a beautiful, natural setting during the middle of the day made perfect sense, weekday or weekend.

As she walked along, the clicking of her heels on the paved path was music to her ears. The sounds were hers and made by the heels she was wearing; the heels that made the calves of her thin legs stand out.

She'd slowly strolled about 200 yards when she saw several benches and decided to sit down and relax and do some reading. As a computer science major, Brandi rarely had the time or the opportunity to read for pleasure. Today, she was planning on finishing a romance novel she'd started several outings ago, and couldn't wait to see how it ended. Would the beautiful female character choose the successful doctor and the comfort it would afford or the very handsome carpenter who offered her greater passion?

There were two much-older women sitting on a bench about ten feet away from where Brandi sat down, and both of them smiled and said, "Good morning, dear!"

Brandi responded with a 'good morning' of her own before one of them said, "You look very nice. It's so refreshing to see a young woman look so pretty."

The other said, "Oh, yes. I'm so tired of the torn jeans and the purple hair and those hideous piercings!"

Brandi thanked them politely then removed the book from her purse and found the page where she'd left off. The sun was warm but just barely so as it peeked over the tall evergreen trees surrounding the benches.

Brandi loved sitting with her long, shapely legs crossed as she gently rocked the raised foot. She'd been there about twenty minutes when she heard the voice of a small child.

"Daddy? Can we take a rest?" the little voice said.

"Sure, honey. You want to sit down on one of the benches?"

"Okay!" the girl of about three or four said.

She ran ahead of her father and found an open bench next to the one Brandi was sitting on and said, "This one, Daddy!"

"Okay. I'll be right there!" he called out from maybe thirty feet away.

As he got closer, he saw the two older women, and then a younger, very pretty girl sitting near his daughter, Sophie. As he walked up to the bench, he realized he was staring, and when she turned to look at him, he turned away so quickly it was embarrassing.

It wasn't that this young woman in black was beautiful that caused whatever it was he was feeling. He'd been married to a gorgeous woman and dated many beautiful girls before meeting his late wife, Paula. What stunned him was the resemblance between his late wife and the tall, thin, very attractive girl sitting just to his right. The resemblance was so great it was both uncanny and unnerving.

Sophie stood up and used the back of the bench for support as she said, "Come on, Daddy! Sit down with me!"

He took one more quick look at the gorgeous woman with the long, dark hair before sitting down next to his daughter.

The man was carrying a backpack which he took off and set on the ground.

"Are you hungry or thirsty?" he asked his daughter.

"I'm very hungry!" she said even though he'd just had something to eat before they left the house.

"Okay. Well...how about some Goldfish?"

"I love Goldfish!" the girl proclaimed loudly.

Brandi couldn't help but look. This little girl was so cute it was impossible not to. And although she'd only gotten a brief look at her father, Brandi knew he was very attractive.

The little girl turned her way, and when she did, Brandi smiled at her.

"Hello!" the girl said to her.

"Hi! What's your name?" Brandi asked with a smile.

"I'm Sophie. I'm this many!" she said as she held up three tiny fingers. "But I'm gonna be this many in a few more days, right, Daddy?"

It took her a second to raise the fourth finger, and Brandi said, "You're a very pretty girl."

"I know," the girl said.

"Sophie! What do we say when someone gives a compliment?" her father said.

"Thank you," Sophie said rather shyly after being corrected.

The man looked over and said, "Sorry. We're working on that."

"Oh, no. It's fine," Brandi said with a bright smile. "She's adorable."

"Thank you. I kind of think so," he said smiling back.

"Sophie, right?" Brandi asked.

"Yes. This is my little Sophia."

"Such a pretty name for such a pretty girl," Brandi told him.

"Again, thank you, and I hope you don't mind me saying you're also a very pretty g...woman," he said the beautiful girl who was smiling at him.

Brandi laughed and said, "Oh, thank you, and...I don't mind being called a girl."

"I just didn't want to offend you," David said before telling her his name.

"Hi, David. I'm Brandi."

Now that he could look at her without feeling like a stalker, David could see she looked so much like his late wife it was almost scary. She wore more makeup than Paula had, but this girl had the kind of face on which makeup looked really good.

"Nice to meet you, Brandi."

He handed Sophie a plastic sandwich bag filled with Goldfish then, for reasons he couldn't explain, said, "You wouldn't care to join us, would you?"

Brandi, too, was looking very carefully, and David was not only attractive, he was very handsome. He had thick, black hair, a gorgeous face, and what looked like a very fit body. His smile was perfect, and he seemed polite, and was also treating her the way she hoped to be treated by a man one day so she said that sounded lovely.

She put her book away, grabbed her purse, and stood up.

David tried not to stare as she walked toward him, but doing so proved impossible. Brandi was tall and thin just like Paula. She also had the same color hair and wore it very close to the way his wife had worn hers whenever they went out. Paula had always turned every head in a room, and David imagined that was true for Brandi, as well.

She was obviously quite a bit younger than him, but for now, that wasn't an issue that concerned him.

"May I sit next to you?" she asked Sophie, who was happily munching away.

"Yes, you may," she said.

She held out the bag and offered some to Brandi.

"Here. You can have some. I'll share with you."

"That is so sweet of you, Sophie. But I think I'll pass."

"Okay!" the girl said before stuffing two more in her mouth.

"Slow down, kiddo," her daddy said. "You need a drink?"

"Yes, please," she said with food in her mouth.

Her dad handed her a juice box after putting a straw in it then said to Brandi, "I do the best I can, but being a single parent isn't easy."

"No, she's lovely!" Brandi assured him. "And you're obviously a very caring father."

"Oh, well, I do try," he said.

David wasn't aware of how nervous he was as this beautiful young woman sat just a couple of feet away. He could smell her perfume, and was grateful that at least that wasn't the same as Paula had worn.

He saw Brandi looking at his hand then turn away.

"Oh. My wedding ring. I uh, I'm...my wife passed away when Sophie was a baby."

"David! I'm so, so sorry," Brandi said sincerely. "How awful."

"It was very awful," he said quietly. "It's been well over three years and closer to four, and I still feel lost without her most of the time"

"You poor thing," Brandi said. "I can't even imagine."

"I'm glad you can't," he told her.

Very quietly he said, "I feel even worse for my daughter. She'll never know her mother or how wonderful she was."

Brandi put her hand over her chest and said, "David, you're breaking my heart."

"Sorry. That wasn't my intent. I don't normally even bring that up unless I know someone well enough. It's just that I saw you looking at the ring and...."

"No, I'm sorry. I made you uncomfortable, and I apologize."

"Don't. It was just a misunderstanding, and it's cleared up so...maybe we could just chat for a while?"

"I'd like that very much," Brandi said, flashing her beautiful smile at him.

"I do have to say, though, I can't get over how much you look like my late wife."

"Really? That is quite possibly the nicest thing any man has ever said to me," she replied sweetly.

David fished out his phone and opened the 'Photos' app, and scrolled down.

"This is Paula," he told Brandi as he handed her the phone.

Brandi gasped and put a hand over her mouth as she looked.

"Oh, my God! David, she does look like me," Brandi said. "Or...I look like her."

"There are a lot of other pics. You're more than welcome to look if I'm not driving you crazy."

"Are you kidding?" Brandi said. "I'm so honored that you would share these with me."

Brandi's long, dark-red nails looked slick and wet as she pulled the screen down and looked at several more photos of this beautiful woman. The resemblance really was striking, and Brandi found herself feeling very conflicted.

She was most definitely attracted to this handsome, older man, but she was at least mildly concerned he might be seeing her as his late wife rather than for herself. Almost immediately, she realized that 'herself' met a man dressed in women's clothes and felt even more conflicted.

She handed the phone back and said, "She's very beautiful, David, and I really am so very sorry."

"Thank you, Brandi," he said as he put the phone away.

Sophie had drained the juice box and was making loud noises sucking out the last drops.

"It's empty, sweetie," her dad told her as he gently took it away.

"Can I go play now?" she asked, ignoring his comment.

There was a play area not 50 feet away that David could clearly see so he said, "Okay. Just be careful."

"I will!" Sophie said as she hopped off the bench and sprinted off.

"She's beautiful, too, David. I can see her mother in her face."

"Oh, thank you. Yes, that's both a curse and a blessing. I love seeing Paula when I look at her, but...."

"But seeing her reminds you of what you lost," Brandi said, ending his sentence.

"Exactly," David replied before saying, "So much for changing subjects, right?"

"No, it's fine. I love that you love her so much that you want to talk about her."

Brandi paused then said rather quietly, "I'd love to be loved like that one day."

"Is there currently anyone in your life, Brandi?" he asked.

"Oh. No. No one," she said very sweetly. "Other than my mother."

David laughed politely then decided to take another risk.

"I know we just met, but I was wondering if you might like to do something together one of these days."

Without hesitation, Brandi said, "I'd love to, David. I'm just not sure that's such a good idea." Her thoughts about being a man were still freshly running through her mind.

"Oh, okay," he said.

Brandi was the first and only woman he'd asked out. All of the others had been set ups from Krystal or some other friend, and getting shot down was a lot worse than he'd imagined.

"No, it isn't that I don't want to go out with you," she explained. "I do. I...really do. Very much, in fact."

"Then...I don't understand," David said as he looked at her pretty face.

"No. Of course you don't," she said just as sweetly as before. "But if you really wanted to go out with me, I'd have to tell you something that would make you...not...want to go out with me."

He turned to face her then said, "Brandi, I have no idea what you're talking about, but even if you're...if you're ill...I wouldn't care."

"Ill?" she asked.

"I'm just trying to think of why a beautiful woman like yourself would want to go out with me but feel there's some reason I would say 'no' after asking her. The only thing I could come up with was perhaps you being...very ill...and not wanting to get involved because of it."

"No. I'm perfectly healthy," she told him with a smile. "It's not my health. It's...me."

David stared at her then said, "I like...everything...I see. And I've enjoyed talking with you, so...I'm thoroughly confused."

Brandi took a deep breath then said, "Seattle is a very progressive part of the country, but even here people don't take kindly to being deceived."

David shook his head and shrugged his shoulders in an 'I give up' kind of way.

Brandi looked down for a moment, her knees together and her hands in her lap.

"No matter what you see, I...I wasn't born a woman, David," she said as she looked back up at him.

"What? I...I don't understand," he said as his eyes looked at her from her head to her heels.

"Here. Maybe this will help," she said as she removed a female wallet from her purse.

She found her driver's license then, while covering up the name, held it up so he could see it.

"That's me. The real me," she said, knowing this was the end of their very brief relationship.

"No. No way," he said as he compared the photo to the woman sitting next to him.

"It's two years old, and I was lifting weights very heavily back then. But that is definitely me," she told him as she put the license away.

"Oh, my God," he said quietly as he sat there unable to look at her.

"I'm so sorry, David. I didn't mean to deceive you. But when you asked me out, I couldn't let you think I'm...a real woman...when I'm not."

When he didn't reply, Brandi said, "I really am sorry. I'll go ahead and move back to the other bench, and I won't bother you again."