Real Love Ch. 25

As Brad tells his story, Kelly repeatedly squeezes his hand every time he says something that touches her.

"Kelly didn't know how bad I felt when that argument was over. I did my best to conceal it from her and everyone else. It didn't really hit me hard until I went to bed that night and thought about the incident. I laid in bed not caring who did what or why. I felt so bad it literally took the wind out of my sails. To see the expression of hurt and fear on Kelly's face just ripped me apart. She was there to help me and that was what she was doing. I laid there fuming with myself. Visions of chaos overwhelmed my perception of my future because I was always mad at everyone. I couldn't handle it so I made a decision, right then and there, it will never happen again."

"Then it hit me like an exploding bomb. Out of nowhere, I was suddenly confronted with the fact that I'm now an owner of this large corporation and a leader of thousands of people who depend on me to do the right thing, whether I want it or not. It's a huge responsibility and I have to either take the job, and the challenge, or walk away."

"Obviously, I took the job and here I am. The reason I took the job is because of the challenge. It's something new, different and huge. My work for the consulting firm was getting mundane and I was dreaming about a more serious challenge... Surprise. Surprise. One dropped on my lap, through no fault of my own."

"Thinking usually gets me in trouble, but it suddenly dawned on me that I'm now in a position to make a change about how people feel about the company. That was an eye opener for me. I'm in a position to influence attitudes now and I make the rules."

"I wanted to figure out how I can use that newly discovered company rank to make people feel better and make a big change in this company. I started with my immediate staff. I was excited. I can do this, I told myself, even though I had only been here for two, maybe three days."

"I didn't really know anybody, not even Kelly, at that time. I also knew if I was going to do anything, I would be doing it by myself. It caused me to do a lot of soul searching. I was truly scared and I suddenly felt a lot of pressure trying to overwhelm me. It was the first time I acknowledged to myself I'm an owner, and it sunk in deep. I had to man-up and be the leader the staff deserves."

"I began to think about the kind of boss I wanted to be. My experience level was rather limited and I had only two things I can relate to -- my family and a short work history."

"Both of my uncles have large, happy families. I was raised as an only child but spent lots of time with both families. They have fun, stick together and get along well. I have only fond and great memories of family. Family is everything to my mom and dad, and me as a result. This team lives and works on this Island so to me, it made sense to think we should be a happy family."

"I also related to my brief work history before I took this job. I learned about the corporate structure, but I learned a lot more about office politics, which absolutely sucks. I had the world's dumbest manager and the worst supervisor. Neither one of them knew anything about management or supervision. I decided I don't want that in this corporation, or in any company within. I want efficient people doing the job. Bad management and supervision will no longer be tolerated. If it's necessary for a manager or supervisor to use fear to get motivation from employees, they either need to change, or find another job. That's what I determined I will be happy with."

"That was my primary reason for firing your previous VP, Larry. But there were many other contributing factors, as you well know."

"That was my starting point and I began, even though I didn't have many options. I was scared out of my mind, and alone to boot, but I was seriously determined to make something happen, even if it turned out to be wrong. I was also excited because I know my staff wants to be happy working here, I could feel it. I wanted something to happen that made my staff proud of me as their leader."

"Because my extended families were generally happy as children, I decided this team should be a family, not just think of them as a family, but being a big, happy family with this Island as their home. That established my ultimate goal."

"Like you, Larry, I felt my staff deserved it. My thinking is that if people are happy, they will perform better and respect will be mutual. I also know if you want to be respected as a leader, first, you must respect others. That's the way my parents raised me."

"My dad is a retired police detective and he taught me to be courteous and respectful of others. When I did so, I always felt good about myself. Happy, actually. But the biggest problem facing me was how to get everyone to agree with my way of thinking without actually telling them. The only thing I knew was -- I wanted this group to be a happy family, but I had no clue how to do it. I was obsessing about it. My determination got the best of me so I began to pursue it. I know that actions speak louder than words so I decided I had to use actions to make them realize my goal."

"Again, I related to my uncle families and realized they were happy for a reason and that's what resonated with me. I began to reason that if my staff was happy, they would have a better attitude and their mind set would change. I felt it was true but had no facts to back it up -- gut instinct, my dad calls it. My determination got the best of me and I set out to do it anyway because I knew in my heart, it was the right thing to do."

"So, I had a goal, but I need a plan to make it happen. I didn't know where it would take me, nor did I tell anyone what I was doing. I was scared. I was alone, but it did not stop me. My biggest fear was failure. What if I can't make my staff happy? Then it dawned on me that happiness is caused by something. As I thought more, I came up with the first question I needed an answer to, which is -- what makes an employee happy on the job? Brilliant wasn't it?"

They laugh.

"I asked that question of myself first and came up with an answer. I knew more about what makes people unhappy on the job, but I needed to know what makes people happy in the same scenario. Maybe I should just reverse what makes people unhappy, but for reasons beyond my control, I wasn't happy doing that."

"As I further contemplated what I was facing, I thought, at first, the staff respected me because I'm an owner. As I analyzed the scenario further, I realized they didn't respect me because I'm an owner, they feared me because I'm an owner and showed me respect because of it."

"Showing respect for someone and respecting someone are two different things. I have power over them and they knew it. As I began to realize that, I wanted to change that perception. I didn't want the staff working for me out of fear, and still don't. Instead, I wanted to earn their respect as a leader of the company. Call me any name in the book if you want, but that's what I wanted."

"So, I consulted with both Debi and Kelly. I was hoping they would agree with what I was thinking. I also talked with my sisters about leadership and where they wanted to take the company."

"At that time, Kelly was my only team member. However, Debi was working with us and joined Team Brad a day or two later. I asked both of them questions. They didn't know my ultimate goal. All they knew was I wanted them to be happy, primarily because that's all I told them."

"Several times I was frustrated because I couldn't explain what I wanted to know without giving away the store. But, from what they did tell me, I discovered it was not all that different from what I was thinking, so they basically agreed with me. Now, I had enough information to formulate a plan and put it into action."

"At first, I thought I should make them feel better as a person, then they will feel better as an employee. But, the more I thought about it, the more I thought they may interpret my actions as if I was hitting on them and that wasn't an option, so I canned the idea."

"After more thought, I just reversed it and concluded if I could make Kelly and Debi feel better as employees, they would feel better about themselves and it would expand from there. Now, I had the first step in the plan and I was cheering," Brad reveals, all excited, then he turns sour, "and I couldn't tell anyone how excited I was. I had to hide it."

They giggle at his excitement and the sudden change.

"To do this, I focused as much on work related things as I could. I complimented the staff on work well done. I was courteous with them. I was respectful of them. I was humorous with them. I had fun with them. I set myself up to be the object of jokes and humor. I also put my foot in my mouth in some meetings just to get them to laugh and lighten up. I didn't yell or raise my voice at anybody. I started using hi-fives. I smiled more. All of these things returned positive responses."

"Over a period of time, these things made them feel better and they began to respond. When I interviewed Debi for her current position, she became very nervous and it showed. I had an urge to hug her to make her feel better, but I didn't. It was that urge that gave me the idea of using hugs with the staff."

"I never witnessed a hug in a professional environment before and I wasn't sure how they would react. I justified it by thinking families hug each other, so why can't we? The more I thought about it, the stronger I felt about doing it, but a feeling was all I had. I was nervous, probably scared, but my determination got the best of me and I did it anyway."

"My desire for hugs stemmed from my childhood because that is what my mom and dad always did for me. As a child, they referred to me as their little 'huggie bear'. I was giving them hugs just because I had nothing better to do, I guess. They gave me more hugs as a child than I could ever count. I was hoping it would have a similar affect with Debi and Kelly, so I gave it a try. A hug always made me feel better, so the worst I could be is wrong."

They all giggle and Kelly continues to squeeze Brad's hand. By this time, she has racked up quite a number of squeezes, but she's getting sad eyes.

"At the time, Kelly and I were in the very early stages of connecting on a personal level so I felt it important to our evolving relationship to ask her if it was okay with her if I gave Debi a hug to welcome her to Team Brad after her job interview and as future rewards for work well done. She says she was okay with it so that's what I did. I also did the same for Kelly. Why, I have no idea," he says rolling his eyes.

Everyone grins and Kelly squeezes his hand again and smiles at him. Her eyes are getting a trace of wetness as Brad continues his story.

"Debi was seriously embarrassed the first time I hugged her. She turned twenty-four shades of red and didn't hug me back. That made me take a step back. I sensed it wasn't the road I should take. Then, a short time later, Debi told me nobody ever made her feel part of anything as I did. It did make her feel better after all. I concluded the hug must have shocked her. Because of that, I determined I should ask people before I hug them the first time. I did that for Kelly, but didn't for Debi and observed the different reactions."

"Since that first hug, Debi hugs me back and the more hugs I give her, the happier she seems to be. I encouraged Kelly to give her hugs as well. I also gave Kelly more hugs and hi-fives for some strange reason. I was turning into a huggie bear again and began feeling good about doing so."

They giggle again. By this time, Kelly has squeezed his hand so many times she even lost count.

"Randomly, I would give both of them hugs along with a compliment, other times, a hug for no reason. Many times we grouped hugged. Eventually, Debi was feeling pretty good and requested permission to hug either, or both of us, anytime she wanted. We allowed her to do that and it has blossomed from there. I wasn't expecting it would have that sincere an impact on either of them, but I'm glad it did."

"As I began seeing more of a change in the staff, I began building a team and treating all the staff as equals, instead of employees. That was when and why I started the team meeting. When I did, it had a positive affect on the team, so naturally, I kept doing it. I also changed the Island dress code and they all liked that as well," Brad says.

"I also worked with my sisters during this time. I only told them what I was doing and encouraged them to do the same. The hugs, the hi-fives, the compliments, being courteous, being respectful, being a friend, treating the staff as equals, the humor and the willingness to talk with the team about company matters and the staff as individuals, made them feel relaxed, happy and continues to this day, and will continue into the future."

"One day, in a team Brad meeting, Debi revealed she felt like she was at home with her family even though she was at work. That was my first indication my plan succeeded, but I didn't allow myself to celebrate just yet."

"By far, the most difficult part of my plan was talking to Kelly on a daily basis and not spill the beans about what I was trying to accomplish. She constantly tries to help me do my work and it was difficult for me to keep her in the dark."

"It was an everyday thing I had to deal with, but all along this journey, I knew if there was anybody on the Island that could figure out what I was doing, it was either Kelly or Debi or both, just because they worked closest with me."

"Well, Kelly put it together first and figured out my ultimate goal, based on a comment Debi made, and during the next team meeting, she spilled the beans to the team. She told them that we are a family and we have a home here on the Island. They all thought briefly and agreed. I had no desire to argue with them. I didn't have any energy to argue with them either. I was seriously elated."

Larry, Sandi and Helen all notice Kelly is having difficulty keeping herself together. They can see she's about to do something. As Brad tells his story, he wasn't paying that close attention to what Kelly is doing, or what she's feeling.

"Having realized I reached my goal, I concluded my plan worked. It was my turn to be happy and to celebrate. I was elated and had all I could do to contain my own exhilaration while we celebrated with a group hug and it was emotional. Can you imagine what it feels like to be squeezed by seven people? I have first hand knowledge of that now."

"There was not a dry eye in the group, including my own, and I was the biggest crybaby there. I reached my goal and I was proud of myself, for a change, but nobody knew the struggle I went through to make it happen. Deep down, I was okay with that, but at the same time, I knew one of them would eventually ask. So far, that has not happened."

"I felt like I was on top of the world. It was the first time I planned something, literally on my own, and saw it through to fruition. Later that day, I realized not only did my plan change the staff and my sisters, but it also changed me. That, I wasn't expecting, nor was it on my radar. It gave me confidence I didn't know I had."

"That's my story and I'm sticking to it!" Brad exclaims.

Kelly is rubbing his hand under the table and Brad is now noticing her expression and can see some wetness in her eyes.

Kelly speaks up and says, "We need to take a short break beginning now please."

With that said, Kelly crawls onto Brad's lap, putting her arms behind him and drives her face into his neck as her eyes tear up. She's trying to fight off her urge to cry, but lost the battle. He puts his arms around her and holds her tight. It's obvious something is bothering her, but he's not certain what it is.

Moments later, she raises her head and gives him a kiss, a very affectionate kiss, yet feeling very emotional. She's very proud of his plan, and her man, and is very happy he's still with her. She lingers a second before Brad breaks the short kiss. She buries her face back into his neck, still trying to fight off the urge to cry, still losing the battle.

"This is the first time Kelly has heard this plan and you can see how it affected her... You okay?" Brad asks, tightening his squeeze on her.

She made an effort to nod while perched in his neck... Minutes later, Kelly gets a grip on herself, just before creating a small separation from Brad. Now she has to justify her obvious reaction.

"I will be," she says, reaching for a tissue. "Your battle plan for us just touched me in a very emotional way. It was outside the realm of what I thought you were experiencing. I can't believe the staff meant so much to you that long ago. You were only here for two or three days when you put your plan into action. You didn't know any of us, yet you trusted us enough to do what you did."

She holds him tight and kisses him, then wraps her arms around him again. Brad holds her tight and makes her feel at home in his arms, which is exactly what she needs, not to mention wants.

Helen, Sandi and Larry all watch this unfold with a high degree of interest.

"I know Kelly, but it was worth it to me and now the reward has come full circle. I made a commitment to never get mad at my staff again and I meant it. All of you have been here long enough to prove your worthiness as employees so it didn't bother me to do what I did. But, most of all, you didn't deserve what I did to you. That's what triggered me to create the plan. I didn't want that kind of argument to happen again, ever," Brad says.

"I thought I knew what you were experiencing," Kelly says. "The story you told at the engagement party and now this, was completely off my radar. I didn't understand what was affecting you and I'm truly sorry. My job was to know you inside and out, but as it turns out, I didn't."

"Do not take this personally, Kelly. I kept those from you deliberately, so it can't be perceived as you not doing your job. As far as I'm concerned, you did your job above and beyond the call. I couldn't have asked more from you in your professional capacity. I say that as your boss, not as your fiancé," Brad informs her.

She squeezes him, then reaches for her stash of tissues again and dries her eyes. She settles back in her chair next to Brad and reclaims his hand under the table.

"I apologize to all of you. It was very unprofessional of me to do what I just did, but I had to. Something inside me was driving my emotions and I wasn't able to control it," she tells them.

"It is surprising to learn of his struggles after the fact. I remember many of the things he says he did for us, especially about him putting his foot in his mouth at some meetings, starting the team meetings and changing the dress code, some of them were funny as hell, but they touched me deeply as I learn the reason he did those things for us. It's true he has never been mad at his staff since that incident, something I didn't realize until now. I only wish he included me in his struggles, but I do understand why he didn't," Kelly explains.

"Apology not required Kelly. We will survive it..." Larry says. "Brad, I've said it before. You are wise beyond your years. That's an awesome analysis of the problem you faced and the plan you created with an execution that concluded favorably. It was well thought out and well executed. You continue to amaze me, especially for a 23 year old kid," he says and laughs.

Okay, all of them are laughing. Sandi is also thinking about Kelly's unprofessional behavior in addition to laughing. Kelly just smiles, not being in a jovial mood.

"Don't let it go to my head Larry," Brad says as everyone continues to laugh.