Reignition

She hesitated, and Ivan looked at her curiously, "Something on your mind?"

"Um..." Grace went bright red, "So... Seeing you tonight... I guess that was one way to make sure I know I ain't ace. And weirdly, it kinda made me feel better. Knowing I'm not ruining everything for you, either."

Ivan stood up to finish making her drink, "Well, so long as we're both okay with rubbing one out, now and then."

"No judgement here, but..." Grace gave a heavy sigh, "It just doesn't really work that way for me. I can lie back and try, but my mind darts all over the place, and I just think about stuff left undone at work, or how much of a bitch my boss will be, and touching myself just ends up feeling weird."

Ivan tried to go clinical, and not picture her in his own frustrated and horny mind. "Have you... Maybe tried... Uh... Other stimulus?"

"Like... Toys?" Grace asked cluelessly.

He occupied himself by stirring her drink, making sure it was full dissolved, so he wouldn't look at her adorable curious face. "Sure. Or maybe, if you can't focus on your thoughts, watching stuff?"

"Porn creeps me out. It's either really fake, or really freaking weird." Grace shook her head.

"There's more things than just videos."

Grace shifted, "There is?"

He brought her drink over carefully, making extra care not to spill it, and not to look at her. "Well, um... When you caught me, before. That wasn't to a video."

"You had your computer." She said in surprise, taking the drink and staring right at him.

Ivan realised he couldn't exactly sit crosslegged in front of her. Right now, it was just at the edge of things, but his incomplete moment was coming back to haunt him. It was a raging semi, and tracksuit pants hide absolutely nothing.

He decided to sit up on the bench, hopefully raising himself above her line of sight. Shrugging, and saying, "Porn doesn't work for me, either. Not really. Hard to get off to a fake moan, when that's when you realise you're doing it wrong with your partner."

"Mmm." She nodded expectantly.

"So instead, I... Read stuff."

Grace cocked her head, "Like romance books?"

"Sort of. Not really." Ivan stumbled, not sure how to introduce someone to erotica for the first time. He gave up on finding the words and jumped down from the bench, "Two seconds."

He went back to the bedroom, and came out with his laptop, turning it around as he walked over to present it to the innocent woman living in his house.

She looked at it curiously, before her eyes went wide, "Wow. Oh. People... Write sex stuff?"

"Erotica." He said with a swallow, especially as he just remembered what kind of story he was showing to her. "It's... Dirty stories. Works for me. Both imagination, and something to focus on, if that makes sense. Uhm... I hope it hasn't creeped you out?"

"No, it's fine." She said, eyes glued to the screen in front of her, "It's actually... Maybe romantic. Nobody has ever shared this kind of thing with me before. Most romantic thing anyone has ever done."

"I don't think it's romantic." Ivan shook his head.

She hesitated, and then pulled out her phone, typing quickly and pulling up the familiar colours of the website on it. "Thanks."

He took back the laptop, "So... After all that... I think I'm going to head back to bed. It might feel weird to watch a movie, after that."

"Yeah." She nodded, looking up, "I might still make cookies. Something to take into work, in the morning. Win over some dickheads, maybe. But... Knock before you need to come in?"

Ivan heard the subtext there, and nodded, heading for his room. "Goodnight, Grace."

"You too, Ivy. And... Thanks. Most people might find this too awkward." She said softly, "I hope... You know that you make me feel lucky. Special. Sorry that I've taken up so much of your space."

"Thanks." He replied.

The door closed, his earlier thoughts, barely restrained, suddenly tumbled forth, and the ache that told him of the interruption raged away.

Ten minutes later, the guilt was heavy.

(aG)

A couple days passed, and the website fell into the background. Neither of them mentioned Grace's new education, and neither of them caught each other.

It was not altogether forgotten for Ivan, but he tended not to indulge his dirtier thoughts, every single time they came around.

He was mostly too busy with his work to let it come up, and it was relegated to late night thoughts. They had crossed a couple of lines, that they probably shouldn't, but it didn't seem to have played out into a big deal. Neither of them pressed on the boundaries any further.

However, in those few days, summer arrived.

Melbourne became instantly, blisteringly, hot. The entire city seemed to sweat, as every piece of glass and metal became capable of burning you with an incautious touch.

The buildings trapped the heat, turning the streets into a muggy sweatbox. The trams and trains struggled with their aircon, making them of little relief. In fact, the only relief that Ivan could find, was at his work.

Unfortunately, with the way the mercury pushed up into the early forties, the aircon in their apartment building spluttered out and gave up the ghost. The building managers said it was on their urgent priority list, but freezing ice became a morning chore.

The two of them sat around at home, with their feet in ice water, lying against the walls, as the couch was too hot, and stared at the ceiling and rethought the process that had led them to this life.

Neither Ivan nor Grace said anything about it, but both slowly started to wear less around the apartment.

At first, it was just switching out of a shirt and into a tank-top, but the absolutely brutal heat soon had Grace in a bra and shorts. Ivan made no comment, and shed his own top.

Exposing the muscles he tried so hard to maintain, and utterly failed to prevent the little pouch at the bottom of his stomach. It was no worse than at the beach, a place that he thought about often, in this sort of heat.

Now and then, he caught Grace glancing at the scar running down the middle of his chest. But if she wasn't asking about it, then he wasn't interested in talking about it.

Unfortunately, the heatwave showed no signs of stopping, and the two of them found themselves watching TV from opposite sides of the room, usually in wilted silence.

A full two weeks from the beginning of the scorching sun, the two of them were watching some reality show, when two of the contestants starting hooking up, and forcefully at that.

She was grinding away in his lap, both arms behind his neck, as he explored every nook and cranny of her mouth. To be frank, it didn't actually look that comfortable, but it was certainly desperate.

Ivan stood up, his back making a sucking sound against the wall as he did. "I'm headed to bed."

"You gonna read?" Grace said with a smirk.

"Are you?"

Grace went red, and looked down, "I... Might. I mean... I've looked at a few things, but... There's a lot. And so much of it is crap, but maybe a nugget or two? I... I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed?"

Ivan heard the desperation in that. A newcomer would struggle, until they found an authour that they really liked. Even then, not everything would be to their tastes. You just had to move along, or if you were a dick, downvote, comment about how much you hate it, and wait for the authour to call you out.

He didn't understand the point of the trolls who did that. All you'd do, is get your favourite authour to stop writing, altogether.

"Well, there's a few ways to find the popular ones." He shrugged, "Ratings, and genres. Top lists. That sort of thing."

Grace took a very deep breath, and then asked, "Could you... Recommend some?"

"I dunno if what turns me on, would work for you. So, that might be a little too private."

Grace rolled her eyes, "Duh. But I'm not going to be judging or anything. I just... I don't even know what good is, Ivy. Totally fish out of water here, just help a girl out."

"Good helps you finish." He smiled at her.

Grace glared and shook her head, rubbing absentmindedly at the edge of her bra where she was sweating. "Just... I'm not going to judge. Give me what you think is good. I can explore from there, right? Not like I'm asking to read over your shoulder. Still private."

He gave a sigh, "I'll... Find some stuff. Not necessarily to my tastes. Just good, across the board. A few popular ones from the big categories. Just this once."

Grace grinned, "Thanks! And now you can go to... Bed."

He rolled his eyes at her emphasis, and headed back to his room. Hand on the door a thought ocurred, and he looked back at her, "Just remember, with this stuff, liking the story, doesn't necessarily mean you'll like it in the real world. Being turned on, with a tale, doesn't mean you'll want it, out here."

She blinked, "What?"

"Fiction is fiction. Doesn't mean it'd work in the real world." He shrugged.

Grace giggled, "Wow. What depravity are you going to foist upon me?"

"Oh, forget it." Ivan said tiredly, the heat drowning him.

(Ug)

To get her back, Ivan might have added a story or six about a catgirl into the list he sent.

Grace was rather serious at the breakfast table, "I get what you shared with me, is private. Secret. Telling me what turns you on, is a private sort of thing. I'd never tell anyone, Ivy."

He guiltily admitted to trying to shock her.

She giggled, "Bubbles is fuckin' hot. And that's the only time I'm ever going to tell you anything about that. But... No judgement, here."

"So's Toofy." He admitted, "And end of conversation."

The rest of the day was a nonevent. The usual crap and stress at work, solved with the usual diligence, followed by the same sweatbox of train and tram on the way home.

Neither of them seemed up to much, and dinner was eaten in front of yet another reality TV show, before heading off to their own rooms.

Two hours later, staring at the ceiling and still awake, Ivan felt his phone vibrate. He pulled it out and looked at it in surprise.

It was from Grace.

She was only in the very next room. Why the heck was she texting him, instead of her usual knocking on his door? She didn't usually try to avoid waking him, because she never really thought about it before knocking.

% Liked the last batch. Could you send more stories?

Ivan gave a smile. She was right, not looking him in the eye for that request was a lot easier. There wasn't any sort of guilt or embarrassment, for some reason.

$ Anything in particular?

There was a short silence, in which Ivan wondered if she had fallen asleep, or changed her mind about texting him.

% _shrug_

With zero guidance, Ivan decided to stretch further abroad. He dumped the idea of safety, and grabbed a bunch of things from every category that the site had. Romance, bisexual and gay, trans, a few forceful tales, and a few more mythic fantasy types.

Some with gods, some with catgirls, and some with strange things that were entirely the creation of the authour's imagination. A story of a wife who sleeps with her husband's best friend. Threesomes and sex parties.

He followed the ratings to pick a gay male one, another with two people having sex on the train in public, and a girl experimenting with a sybian for the first time.

The only categories he skipped over, were nonconsent and incest. Those tended to be a little too far, for people just dipping their toes in.

With the list together, he laboriously copied them into the SMS app, and fired off the text.

Following it up with a quick message.

$ Standard disclaimers apply.

The response was instantaneous.

% Thx! Ur the best!

Ivan briefly considered reading a couple of the stories that he had put together, but with the heat and everything, he just wasn't in the mood. Instead, he dumped his phone beside the bed, and closed his eyes.

Right as he was beginning to drop off, he was jerked to full wakefulness by what he thought was a very feminine groan.

Heart pulsing in his ears, he didn't hear it again, but it took a long time to get back to sleep.

(cG)

A fist pounding on his door woke him up, and Ivan jerked to his feet at the desperate sound, and quickly yanked it open, to find Grace in full work gear.

She stared at him, "Do you have any idea what the time is?"

"Oh fuck." Ivan cursed, looking over to the phone he'd failed to put on the charger, and began the rush to prep for work. He didn't have time for a shower, which meant extra deoderant was needed after last night's sweats.

Grace was out of the door before he'd finished, and he found himself sprinting towards the tram. He saw her by the door, trying to keep it open, right as it pulled away.

The rest of his day, went just about as well.

(9p)

Ivan was just about collapsing, and in a real mood, when he got home.

Walking in, and dumping his blazer into a crumpled heap, he found Grace humming happily to herself, and spinning about in the kitchen. Her phone was nearby, pumping out the high kicks of some K-pop, that grated against his tired ears.

"Hey! Dinner's nearly ready. Wanna grab a cold shower?"

He only grunted a reply, already heading that way.

When Ivan stumbled back into the main room, Grace was still grinning away. She served up some meatballs and pasta, and he found himself softening a little bit, and smiled back at her. "Well, I guess it's kinda amazing to have a wife at home."

"Oh, am I wife material?" She grinned back at him and did a twirl, despite only wearing a bra and shorts. Grace sat down beside him, and flicked on the TV, "Just trying to thank you, for last night."

"Last... Oh. Right." He said cautiously, "I guess they worked, then."

"Aha." She said pointedly, and then became enthralled in the TV. He didn't push it, though he did have to confess that he was wondering which of the stories was her taste in things.

It didn't take long for Ivan to finish dinner, and wash up the dishes. After his day, he didn't stay up long, and waved off to Grace who was still watching her show. People ploughing through mud in freezing rain to grab at some cock-shaped golden statue.

Heading into his room, he stripped down to his boxers, ditching the idea of pyjamas with the increasing heat that made the windows creak in protest, and dropped face-first into bed.

(bn)

It was only about ten minutes later, when there came a knock at his door.

Before he'd rolled over, Grace was sitting nervously on the edge of his bed, and looking furtively towards him. Trying to think through whatever she was trying to say.

Ivan waited patiently, half expecting her to get up and leave, when Grace swallowed, "The stories you sent last night... They were... Really good. If you get me."

"Sure."

She swallowed again and rubbed the back of her neck, "I was... Kinda hoping... You'd send me... Some more?"

Ivan shrugged tiredly as he sat up, "Sure."

"I'm not a freak, am I?"

He laughed, "What? No. Just because you've found something you like? Everybody has something."

"I'm asking a lot. I do know that. So... Thanks." Grace couldn't look him in the eye.

He took a deep breath, and pushed a boundary. "You know... It might help, if I knew what worked for you. Instead of a little bit of everything."

Ivan expected that Grace would struggle, and spin about, but instead she just launched right into it. "The couple stuff is cute, but I didn't really get into them. I thought the lesbian stories would work, but they actually did nothing for me. Weird, huh? I like girls, but not girl tales."

He shrugged, "Fiction isn't like reality. That's the first rule of fantasy, isn't it?"

"Yeah, so... No to bondage. That was really gross, to me. No judgement for others! But not me." Grace continued, "Threesome was okay-ish. A little purr, if you know what I mean. The public stuff? Hot as fuck."

At that, she hesitated, going bright red as she realised what she'd just said.

"Cool. Public." Ivan tried to reassure her.

Grace took a deep breath, "The one that really caught me, was two best friends. Uni couple? When they went into the bathroom, skipping a lecture, and just were loud as... Yeah. I liked that. The closeness? That."

"I think I can find you more of those." Ivan said, and then noticed the embarrassed anticipation.

Grace watched as he grabbed his phone off the nightstand, and kept watching even though she couldn't see the screen, as he went through and picked out a few more stories. It was made easier, by his figuring that her tastes didn't seem that far from his own.

He texted her a half-dozen titles, and then she leaned over and kissed his cheek quickly, "Thanks!"

Ivan was still surprised by that moment as the door closed behind her.

(Qg)

The next morning, Ivan drifted into the kitchen, or the small square of the apartment that served as it, on the smell of eggs and bacon.

Grace was bouncing about, grinning broadly. The two couldn't exactly sit together to eat it, but an effort was made.

The couch corner was given to Ivan, and Grace sat up on the edge of it, proudly. She looked down at him when he was about halfway through, and said quickly, "Last night's were... Really good."

He blinked twice, and then in his coffee-deprived state, his mind sparked to life. He felt a moment of embarrassment, and then tried to pretend to be more grown up than he felt. "Oh. You liked them, then."

"Aha."

Another thought dripped slowly into form, "Wait... You read all of them?"

Grace gave a nervous giggle, "Um... Multiple times?"

"I'm going to run out of good stories to give you."

She shifted how she was sitting a little, "Can I ask you something? That one you sent me, where the sheepgirl cheats on her bride? That was kinda hot... But I'm surprised you liked it."

"Fantasy, not reality."

She rolled her eyes, "Yeah, yeah. Zero judgement. And whatever for the monstergirl thing. Just trying to understand, here. Didn't you... Have a girl cheat on you, once? Harry warned me never to say the name 'Taylor'. I know, I just did. I just... Wanna understand."

The name punched him in the chest, but not as hard as Ivan was expecting. The scar was well and truly healed over, but usually it felt like a flaking scab.

He leaned back in the chair to look up at her, "Taylor... Well, for starters, Taylor wasn't a gal. And he was a right prick. I am never, ever, going to forgive him. Everything to do with that was a mess. Harry was right to warn you."

"Oh. Sorry."

"I'm probably going to mope around for a couple days." Ivan shrugged, "Ignore me. I should be over it. It has been years."

Grace looked like she wanted to say more, but she hesitated, and then said, "So, I'm not the only bi one, then? Guess that means the bi stories are some of your favourites, too?"

"Not really. Like I say, fantasy -"

"Is not reality." Grace rolled her eyes.

(b2)

The day at work was better than most had been.

He should have come home happy, especially as he ended work early. Instead, Ivan came home feeling crap. He wasn't feeling angry, he wasn't feeling annoyed, he was feeling exactly nothing at all.

An empty void that couldn't find any walls to climb up and back into the sun.

He cooked some curries, but spent the whole of dinner staring at his phone. Grace tried to drag him into a dating show on TV, to laugh at the contestants, but her efforts were for nought.

By the time he finished dinner, she had given up on paying attention to her show, as well.

In fact, when Ivan glanced at her, about to get up and go to bed, he found her eyes staring very intently at her phone's screen, and her cheeks slightly flushed.

He was about to ask what she was finding amusing, when a nearly breathless moan escaped from her mouth.

It was Ivan's turn to go red, "Are you reading...?"