Reputation

I looked at Kevin and said, "She stayed home, dude. She's eating Ben and Jerry's and crying on the couch."

"Gillian?" he asked.

"Yeah, but Kelly was already that way when she got there. She didn't make her stay home if that's what you're thinking."

"That's what I'm thinking. It has to be her idea to stay, not mine or Gillian's."

I knew and agreed.

"I should be happy, you know?" he asked as he got up to throw away his empty bottle. "I should be glad she didn't go to him, but all I'm thinking about is will she go tomorrow, or Monday? God! I was so stupid to cheat on her."

"Yeah," I quietly agreed.

*****

The following Saturday, Gillian and I met Kevin and Kelly for lunch. It was a week to go before the wedding and the bachelor and bachelorette parties were cancelled, and a combined party was had at our local hangout the night before.

Gillian, as maid-of-honor, and me, as best man, made the joint decision with Kevin and Kelly's approval. None of us wanted anyone to worry about what their wayward partner was doing, and I think Kevin and Kelly were grateful when Gillian and I suggested it. We had a good time.

The only fly in the ointment was when Gillian dressed at my house. She came out of the bedroom in a blouse that had a v-cut to her navel, and no bra, and her dress was cut just below her ass cheeks.

"Jesus, Kelly. Go put on something that you can sit in without flashing your panties. Hell, you can't even walk in that top without your breasts almost falling out."

"Are you kidding me? You're going to tell me what I can't wear now? First the party, now this?"

"You should have gotten the hint the first time. Who are you wearing that for? I certainly don't want you dressed like that in public."

"For me, Dave. I want to look good!" she shouted.

"I'm begging you to please change. I don't want to worry all night about you flashing your tits and ass once you start drinking and dancing."

"Fine!" she shouted and huffed up the stairs.

I shook my head and wondered what the hell she was thinking, and then I was even more glad we combined the parties.

At lunch the next day, Kevin set his BLT club down and said, "Did you hear about the mugging at the pub a couple towns over?"

I looked up and Gillian asked, "No, what happened?"

Kelly didn't look at any of us.

"Some poor schmuck was leaving the bar and got jumped on the way to his car. I heard it was the second time in a month that the guy got mugged. Talk about shitty luck."

Kevin couldn't hide his smirk, and Kelly looked like she was trying hard not to cry.

I couldn't resist and asked, "Kelly, didn't your boss's son get mugged last month? Did he end up okay?"

She glared at me and said, "I haven't seen him."

Kevin smugly added, "Wouldn't that be something if it were him that got mugged again? Jeez, that would suck."

Gillian deftly changed the subject by asking, "Dave, is your speech ready for next week?"

"Hell no," I said making everyone laugh. "I swear I'm going to have Chat GPT do it for me."

Kevin grumbled, "Don't be a pussy. Just wing it, but don't embarrass me too badly. Kelly's dad still isn't convinced I'm the right man for his baby girl."

I bit my tongue and said, "Don't sweat it. All of your embarrassing stories include me being just as stupid."

"Not all of them," Kelly said quietly. Kevin wasn't amused.

I knew all wasn't right in their world and wondered if their getting married was still a good idea.

Gillian started talking about final fittings and what kind of comfortable shoes they were wearing for dancing, so Kevin and I talked about football for the rest of lunch.

*****

The DJ handed me a microphone and said, "Don't be nervous, remember to breathe and speak normally. Oh, and don't mess it up."

He smiled and walked away, while I stood and grabbed my flute of bubbly wine.

I took a deep breath and started, "When Kevin spiked me sliding into third base when we were ten, I helped him stand, then punched him as hard as I could in the chest."

Everyone laughed at that for some reason.

"Almost twenty years later, I'm giving the best man's speech at his wedding. I'd have never guessed we'd become best friends, yet here we are."

Kelly smiled at him, then me.

I told a few more mild stories, then said, "I've known Kelly since the day they met and everyone in our friends group fell in love with her immediately. She's just that kind of girl, and they have that kind of relationship. They are the best of us. They are the ones we used to compare our girlfriends or boyfriends to. It's a running joke amongst us, do they pass the Kelly or Kevin test? Few ever have."

Gillian smiled at me, and I winked at her.

I looked at the crowd, and shrugged, "Sorry, I'm not good at speeches. Please raise your glasses. A toast to Kelly and Kevin. The best of us. May you have a long and happy marriage, so we don't lose hope for ourselves."

I'm not sure why I finished it like that, but on some deep level, I suppose it was true. If they didn't make it, what chance did any of us have?

Kelly hugged me, and said, "That wasn't terrible."

Then Kevin hugged me and said, "You sucked." We laughed and I punched him in the chest.

The wedding guests laughed, and someone yelled, "You hit like a girl," making them laugh louder.

Later, I danced with the bride, and she asked, "Do you think we'll make it, Dave?"

I looked into her eyes and said, "I truly hope so. I meant what I said up there. You guys were so perfect together. If you don't make it, how can anyone?"

A tear slid down her cheek, and she said, "I almost called off the wedding. Don't tell him, but it wasn't an easy decision to forgive him. If Mike would have been less of a jerk at the end, we wouldn't be dancing right now."

"You shouldn't have cheated either, Kelly. Two wrongs don't make a right, and I saw how you acted with that guy. You fell for him."

She nodded, "No, I was wrong too. I guess it's hard to explain. I hope you never know how it feels or have to cry for three days straight because you aren't sure you're good enough."

"It's over right? Clean slate?"

"Yeah. It's been a rough week though."

The song was ending, so I dipped her and said, "I can't imagine anything worthwhile being easy."

She kissed my cheek, and I handed her off to her new husband.

Kevin said, "That looked intense."

She answered, "Nah, just some friendly chit-chat. We're good."

I patted him on the back and headed to the open bar. Gillian caught up to me and said, "Can I have the next dance?"

I put my arm around her waist and said, "You can have them all, baby."

She smiled and accepted the wine I ordered for her.

We watched the couples dancing that dance where they eliminate couples until the ones married the longest are the only ones left.

I said, "She told me she almost cancelled the wedding."

Gillian kissed my cheek, "I know. She went as far as finding out how much money her parents would lose if she did."

"I want to say she made the right choice, but I'm not strong enough to have stayed together."

"Is it harder to stay together or to break up?" she asked. "I think it was harder for them to break up."

"Well, at any rate, it's not our problem."

She shrugged, "No, it's not, but we can learn from it. Anything can happen to anyone at any time."

"It could indeed."

*****

A few weeks later, Gillian and I were having dinner at a decent restaurant, when she said, "Let's go out tonight. I feel like dancing."

"We went to that night club the other night. Didn't you get enough dancing then?"

"I would have if you'd have gone out there with me more. You know I don't like to dance without you. I get hit on by all the creeps."

"Let's stay in, Gills. We can snuggle up in front of the fire and have a nice, relaxing evening."

She looked like she wanted to argue, but later, when we left the restaurant, she said, "Let's go to your place, but you'd better rock my world."

"Don't I always?" I asked, then gave her as fiery of a kiss as I could manage.

*****

Sex scene

*****

Three months later, I went on a weekend ski trip with the guys to Colorado. The girls talked about going to a spa or into the city for a musical, I wasn't sure which they decided on, and Gillian was pretty tight lipped about it.

When I got back, one of my friends that didn't go along wanted to meet for lunch. I met Jim at a deli near my office, and he looked like someone killed his cat.

"What's going on, Jim?"

"Dave, I'm not sure how to tell you this, but my friend Clay knows Gillian and said she was out with a guy last weekend. He knows you're with her but doesn't know you well enough to reach out to you."

I sat back in my chair, and he slid his phone across the table.

"It's not a good picture, but it looks like she and the guy were dancing pretty close. He said he couldn't get a better picture because the bar was so crowded."

I looked at the picture and it was definitely her, but she wasn't dancing all that close with the guy. I wondered where the other girls she was supposed to be out with were.

"Thanks for the heads up, but it doesn't look like all that much to me. Did he see them kissing or anything?"

Jim shook his head, "No, he wasn't there much longer. What are you going to do?"

I laughed, "What can I do? If I come at her full bore, she'll just deny it, and I've got no real proof of anything. I need to find out where the rest of the girls she was supposed to be with were. Thanks, man."

I called Kevin and asked, "Where did the girls go when we went skiing?"

"They went to some spa and saw a musical. Kelly's mani/pedi looks damn good."

"Did Gillian go?"

"Oh, shit. You've got to be kidding me, bro?"

"Can you find out, but be subtle? I'm going to see her tonight and I'll see if she had her nails done."

"I'll try, but you know that's hard to do. 'Hey, babe. Was Gillian with you or was she fucking around on Dave?' Could you imagine what she'd say?"

"See what you can do. I'll compare what you find out to what she tells me."

"God, I hope she didn't do what you're thinking."

"Me too."

*****

That night, I was sitting at my kitchen table when Gillian walked in with dinner. I immediately noticed her nails looked exactly as they did before I left. So much for the spa.

"I missed you," she said as she set down the bags, then gave me a kiss.

"Me too. What did you end up doing with the girls?"

She didn't expect my abrupt question and it put her on her heels.

"Nothing, actually. I ended up not feeling well, so I stayed home."

"Really? You're going to lie to me now," I said more calmly than I felt.

I spooned some of the beef curry onto some rice and didn't look up at her.

"I'm not lying. I didn't feel good and didn't go with the girls. That's 100% true."

I swallowed then said, "No, I suppose some of those words are true. It's the staying home part that's a lie."

I ate another bite and waited for her to respond. I could see her trying to produce a plausible story. She wasn't a good liar.

I continued, "Look, you have to know by now that I won't stand for cheating. You might as well leave, because I'm not interested in the story you're trying to come up with. It's a shame I wasted all these months on you."

"It's not what you think," she quietly answered.

"Isn't that what all cheaters say? What's next; I don't love him; I only love you? Or how about, it's just sex?"

A tear slid down her cheek.

"Dave, I'm not cheating on you."

"You're not putting up a convincing defense. You're acting just as you should when you're caught and have no way out."

"Dave, you've got it all wrong."

"I have a picture of you dancing with a guy who isn't me when you were supposed to be with your friends, but of course, you said you stayed home. What about that is wrong."

"I didn't have sex with him."

"Then why lie about what you did? Pardon me, we already established you didn't lie completely. You just didn't tell me what you actually did that night. That doesn't help your case."

"Yes, I went dancing, but I went with Carrie and Greta. They didn't go on the trip to the city either."

"Gotcha. Carrie who is married to Don, and Greta who is dating Andy, along with you, decided to go out clubbing instead of to the spa and a musical."

I pulled out my phone and sent a group text to Steven and Andy to ask their significant others where they were that night.

"What are you doing?" she asked.

"Pretty much letting Andy and Steve know their partners are cheating on them too."

"Nobody cheated!" she yelled, finally showing some emotion.

"This is what happens when you lie or lie by omission. You've completely lost my trust, and I don't believe a word you say now. How can I?"

"I didn't tell you because I thought you'd be like this. You already don't trust me. You don't trust anybody."

"And you can see why. You told me you were going on the trip, then you didn't tell me you didn't. You knew in advance you weren't going on that trip, that's why you didn't tell me anything about it. You weren't involved in the planning."

"Jesus, you've got it all wrong. I cancelled at the last minute. Then after resting all day, I felt better, and Greta called me about going out with them. There's no grand conspiracy."

"Well, I guess that's the end of the conversation then. You can't convince me you didn't cheat; I don't believe a word you say."

She stood and slammed her fork down, "Screw you, Dave. Think what you will, but I know what I did and didn't do. It's not my fault you don't believe me."

She took her coat and slammed my front door as she left my house. I had not idea how she could think it wasn't her fault I didn't believe her. It was all on her for hiding what she was doing from me.

*****

Kelly's story matched about her not feeling well and cancelling. It didn't prove anything either way, so I was still in the same limbo I was before.

I decided I wouldn't be the one to bend first, so I didn't reach out to her all week. But when Friday came, I'd had enough, so I went to her apartment after work. I had to end the stalemate one way or the other, so we were going to have another conversation.

I let myself in with my key and was surprised to find the guy from the picture sitting on her couch.

"Who are you?" he asked.

"I'm the ex-boyfriend."

I took her key off my keyring and tossed it to him. She didn't have a key to my house, she used my garage door code. I'd have to remember to change it.

"Tell her to throw away anything I left here. I don't want to come back for it."

I walked out and made it to my car before my phone started ringing.

I ignored it and drove to Kelly and Kevin's house.

"What's up?" he said when he answered the door.

Kelly stood in the living room with a sad look on her face.

"You knew didn't you?" I asked her. "Why else would you look like that?"

"Kelly?" Kevin said.

"I don't know anything. I just got a text from her because you aren't answering your phone. She says you left your key and told her friend you were her ex-boyfriend."

"What friend?" Kevin asked. "Dave, what's going on."

"I stopped by her house after work and the guy she told me she wasn't cheating on me with, was sitting on her couch."

Kelly said, "Maybe, he's just a friend."

Kevin shouted, "Are you fucking nuts? You're defending her?"

"I don't know him, okay? I don't know what she's doing," she yelled back.

"Well," I said as I fell into their recliner, "it's over. She'll never convince me she isn't cheating on me now."

Kelly argued, "Talk to her, Dave. Maybe, she's not sleeping with that guy."

Suddenly, their front door flew open, and Gillian burst into the room.

"Dave, you're making a big mistake. Let me explain."

I looked at her, then looked at Kelly who simply shook her head.

"I'll tell you what, Gillian. You can explain why the guy you're not cheating on me with was sitting on your couch after you explain to us why you're dressed that way."

She froze and Kevin harrumphed. She was wearing a short skirt, high heels, and was made up like a hooker ready for a night on the corner. She even had her hair styled professionally.

"We're just friends," she said.

"You've got guy friends who I haven't met all of a sudden?" I asked. "Do you know how absurd that answer is considering what you're wearing to go out with him? You don't dress that slutty to go out with me."

"Because you'd never allow me to dress like this to go out with you. You'd tell me I look like a slut and ask me to change."

Kevin interjected, "If the shoe fits."

"Stay out of it," Kelly griped.

"So, that makes it okay to have a boyfriend on the side. I guess he's more of what you've always wanted in a man, right? It's the same reason we didn't work the first time. You just don't want boring old me. Well, you win. We're done. Go back to your fun guy and have a good life. There won't be a third chance."

I walked out of the house, got in my car, and left. I considered going home, but I didn't want her to track me down. I drove a couple of towns over and went to a restaurant to see if I could hold a meal down. I couldn't.

*****

I awoke in the morning in my bed. I had a headache, and my stomach growled, but I was all right.

I saw the empty bottle of water on the nightstand when I put my feet on the carpet.

"At least I was smart enough not to drink," I said to myself, then looked at the unopened bottle of Jameson on the dresser.

I had too many friends drown their sorrows in alcohol after bad break ups. After almost going down that road, I was glad I didn't.

I took a scalding hot shower to wipe the pain away, but it didn't work. I didn't really expect it to. Replacing one pain for another is insanity.

After drying myself, I turned on my phone and saw I had a dozen texts.

Yeah, I know it was weak to turn my phone off, but when the cliches start rolling, they pile on top of one another.

I poured a bowl of Cheerios and read the texts from Gillian.

They didn't tell me anything new. They just reinforced my belief that she got bored with my vanilla ice cream cone lifestyle and wanted a different flavor.

She ended every text with some form of, "I never had any kind of sexual contact with him," and I struggled to believe her. Even if she didn't, what was she doing with the guy that she couldn't do with me?

We went dancing. We went to nightclubs and bars. The only things I didn't like were her doing drugs and dressing slutty.

I know that makes me sound like a jackass, but it's how I felt. I always thought if we ran into our parents when she was dressed like that, how would she feel? I'd be embarrassed, for sure, and I didn't want to be embarrassed for my girlfriend.

It was what it was.

I encouraged her to wear sexy lingerie in the bedroom though, and our sex life was not boring by any measure. I couldn't figure out what that guy offered that I didn't, and I had to find out, even if our relationship was over.

At eleven, I decided to grab some wings at the sports bar. It felt odd walking in there by alone, and it was a completely different crowd of regulars sitting at the bar.

Many of them looked haggard and worn, and some were obviously hung over, chasing their previous night with the new day's hair of the dog. I avoided whatever was going on there and found an empty table.

"Hey, gorgeous," Megan said as she sat in an empty chair at my table. "What brings you here on a Saturday morning?"

"Wings," I said with a forced smile.

"Mind if I join you? I'm meeting a friend here, and you know how it goes with a hottie sitting by herself in a bar."

"Sure. Do I know him?"

"Her. I'm not sure if you remember her, but you met her while we dated. Her name's Sam. She's one of my shy friends."