Robin's Way 13

We held hands as we walked back. I wondered what Anna was thinking. It occurred to me that might be my problem. Why was I leaving her to make a move? I really was, I thought, rubbish at this stuff.

I turned to her.

"Anna, I have to be honest with you, I don't think I am the right woman for you at this stage."

She smiled softly.

"Thank you, Robin, I was afraid of hurting you. But can we still be friends, please?"

"Anna, always, and I hope that you can find someone who will fulfil those sexual needs. But remember what we spoke of?

"I shall," she smiled, kissing me goodnight as we reached mine.

I put the light on. There was something on the doormat. Gingerly I opened the packet. To my surprise, it contained a pair of panties, and to my growing horror, I could see they were stained with blood. There was a note:

"This is what happens to whores who defy us. You are next, bitch!"

I shook with the horror of it. It was too late to phone Mac, and it was not as though the message was telling me anything new, but to see my fears visualised like that was another thing. It was, I realised, one reason for pulling back with Anna. That sense of the violence which she had suffered had, to be frank, scared me. I realised, suddenly, that my body's reaction to her forcefulness was just what I had been telling her about her orgasm when she was violated. I knew the theory. Now, I realised, I knew it in a new, real way.

I also now better understood her own self-disgust, as I felt it with myself. I had imagined that getting that aroused was a sign of some fault in me; but it had been a physical reaction.

Still shaking, I sat and pondered. Maybe Mac was right? Look what had happened when I had tried the same gambit with Ryan. It had almost gone wrong, and only Divine intervention had saved me. Was it wise to keep tempting Fate?

I knew I could not trust Elena, and yet I was going to her apartment. Dimitri had the key. He might be there when I got there. How long would Mac and his men wait? That might be long enough for him to do me some harm. What if Elena was helping him? I was assuming she had kept this from him, but what if she had not?

It was at that point that my phone buzzed: "unknown caller" was all it said.

"Robin here," I said, tentatively.

"Thank God, it's Darnya. Thank God, I caught you. Are you going round to Elena's tomorrow night?"

"I am," I confirmed.

"Dimitri knows the police are watching you. At dinner, Elena is going to slip something into your drink which will mean an ambulance will be called. It won't be a real one, it will be Dimitri's men."

I did not like to ask how she knew; I was just extraordinarily grateful that she had told me.

"I know I work for Dimitri, but you have been so kind to us all. I overheard him earlier. I could not let any harm come to you."

"God bless you, Darnya, God bless you."

Intuition had been telling me there was something wrong with the Elena situation, and now I knew what it was. Darnya I hardly knew, but the same instinct that warned me about Elena said to trust her. I texted Mac.

After night prayer, I settled into the first deep sleep I had for a while.

I was woken by the buzzing on my phone. It was Mac.

"Just got your text. Bastard! How do you want to play it?"

I discussed it with him, and by the end, despite his misgivings he was happy to go along.

After showering and breakfasting, I went down to the office at the Retreat to get some paperwork done before Miriam arrived. Amazing the way the "paperless office" produces so much paper, almost as amazing as my utter detestation of administration.

I prepared myself for the reporter from the Church Times. I had asked Anna and the members of the Corps to meet us at ten thirty, so that gave me time to brief her. Maddie, as she asked me to call her, was in her early thirties, slim, rather elegant, and she seemed genuinely interested in what we were doing.

"You must be tired with the press; I'm amazed you agreed to see me."

I explained that what I was tired off was jaded media tropes about sexy vicars and "randy revs," which simply objectified me and marginalised what was really going on. I told her something about Dimitri and the background.

"But Robin, if I may, does that mean you are still in danger?"

"Yes, that's what I really did not get with the BBC and the other "journalists," there's a story here about the Russian mafia killing and trafficking women, and all they wanted to focus on was my tits."

She laughed.

"I promise that I will write a real story."

"That was why I agreed to see you."

I took her to the Retreat, where she met Anna and the others, and spoke to them about what they were doing. I had arranged that she would go out with us to talk to some of our clients to get their perspective.

It was, in so many ways, just what I needed to take my mind off what was going to happen later. It also reminded me of why I was doing what I was doing.

I'd arranged to take Maddie for lunch at a nearby bar, where we were able to settle back and relax a little.

"Robin, what you're doing here is so countercultural. You're not only welcoming refugees, but you're also helping brutalised women get back their self-respect, and you're reaching out to the marginalised in our own communities."

"Isn't that rather the point of following Jesus," I replied, smiling, "is that not just what he commands us to do -- love one another."

"Can I use that as a direct quotation?"

"Please, Maddie. And now, I am sure you want to ask about the church and the personal angle, so fire away, I'll trust you to report it fairly."

"Thank you, I did not want to pry, but our readers will be interested in how the church is treating you."

"I'll choose my words carefully. My Bishop, Jane, is being very supportive, and I am grateful for that, but I am very aware that her hands are, to some extent, tied by the wider controversy over the place of gay people in the church."

I told her how the vicar at St Mark's had reacted, and how I felt about that.

"It divides along predictable lines. Conservative and traditionalist elements disapprove both of women priests, and of lesbian ones in particular."

"But the church is trying to find a way forward here, so why the hurry?"

"That need is created by those who want to stigmatise women like me. How much hurt must we endure from those who say they believe that God is love? It is so easy to say 'wait,' when it costs you nothing."

"Can I ask a personal question?"

"If it is whether I am in a lesbian relationship at the moment, the answer is no, I am not. What I would say though is that if I had a boyfriend and I was sleeping with him, would those criticising me continue to do so? After all, premarital sex is also forbidden by scripture, and much more explicitly than lesbian sex."

"That's a good point," Maddie conceded. "I'd not thought of it that way. How hypocritical is that?"

"My point precisely," I added, to emphasise it. "There is something deeply hypocritical about criticising a celibate lesbian when you would not do so for a woman engaged in lots of premarital sex. The church needs to sort itself out on this issue, not just with gay people, but with sex in general. It seems okay to allow sex outside marriage for heterosexual or bisexual people, despite what Scripture says, but then it insists that two women sleeping together in a loving relationship is the most dreadful thing imaginable and deeply sinful."

"Robin, that's just great, thank you so much. I've got so much there."

"Well, Maddie, things may be coming to a head with Dimitri, is there any chance I could talk to you tomorrow?"

"Sure, I'm actually staying with my mum in Norwich for the weekend, so I could even pop over here."

"Good, it will be worth it."

We parted as firm friends. I liked her. I had no idea whether her editor would allow her to tell the full story, but was sure she'd do her best.

Just after Maddie left, my phone buzzed. It was Elena.

"Robin, could we meet at the pub? I think you can guess why. As Dimitri has the key to here, he may be here when you arrive, and I think it might be nice to have a drink and something to eat first."

"Sure, makes sense to me Elena. Shall we meet around seven?"

"I shall see you then!"

There it was the Judas kiss. I had wondered how she was going to do it. I had not doubted Darnya's story for a moment, but here was conclusive proof.

I phoned Mac and told him.

"You still want to stick with your plan then?"

"Unless you have a better one?"

"We could just arrest the bastard, and Elena too."

"And what proof do we have?"

"Okay, but I don't like you being used as bait Robin. I would never forgive myself if any harm came to you."

"Thanks Mac, you've had my back all week, and I can't tell you how much I appreciate that."

"Do you ever dine with men, or is it girls only?"

"Are you asking me out to dinner?"

"I'd like to buy you dinner, friends only, of course, no ulterior motives, except I like your company."

"Why, Mac, you're a perfect gentleman, when this is all over, I'd love it."

"Thanks Robin. Best of luck!"

Miriam and I dealt with the day's emails and some queries, and I said that she could go home early.

"Why do I have the feeling something is afoot?"

"Something is always afoot with me," I laughed.

"So I see," she replied. "But please, Robin, take care."

I was touched, not only by her caring, but by her calling me 'Robin,' for the first time. It felt like some barrier had come down. I thanked her and said, "see you on Sunday."

I then had a word with Anna, who said that she would be glad to do what she could to assist. And so, as far as was in my power, the plan was set.

What I really wanted on that suddenly lonely Friday afternoon was a call from Jane, but none came. I did not know what to say to her, and feared that if I did call her, then I might say something I'd live to regret. I still had feelings for her, and she was, after all, my boss. That side of things had always concerned me, but I had never thought that we would ever find ourselves in this situation.

I understood, of course I did. I had not lied to Maddie; I had just not told her the whole of the truth. Jane was in an impossible position. As a bishop working for the Archbishop of Canterbury, Jane had to tread the same careful line he was treading, so to come out would be a difficult enough thing for her to do, but to come out as the lover of the "Randy Rev," would be even harder. She would plunge herself, her office, and the Archbishop into a controversy which might split the Church.

Great Romantic that I am, I was bound to feel wistful that Jane would not give up all that for me, but even to think that was to see how ridiculous I was being. Our relationship, such as it was, was hardly in the foothills, let alone at base camp. I was being spoiled and silly. Time to pull myself together.

I went back to the Rectory and dressed as Elena would expect for an evening out.

I went for a wine-red Hatton top with a built-in bra which came mid-thigh; suitably elegant with a touch of sexy, and it went with the red high heels. I did my hair, some make up, and was ready - almost. I texted Anna and Mac to tell them I was going.

I got to the pub. Elena looked pretty stunning in the red equivalent of the little black dress.

"Robin, you look wonderful!"

"So do you, Elena. Shall we have a drink and then go through to dine?"

"Yes, let's."

We were both attracting appreciative glances, something which pleased me.

It was hard to believe that Elena was going to betray me. She looked so beautiful, so caring.

The waitress brought our drinks. We'd ordered a bottle of Chablis, and she poured one each. I excused myself and went to the bathroom. I got a text from Anna, saying she had dropped something into my drink. I went back to my seat.

"A toast?" she asked.

"Robin, how are you, and who is this gorgeous creature with you?"

It was Anna.

"Anna!" I exclaimed, "lovely to see you. This is an old friend, Elena."

"Such a beautiful dress, Elena, can I see how it fits? Give us a twirl!"

Elena stood up and gave a twirl.

"How is it on the bum, can you turn?"

The moment she did, I swapped the glasses.

"Perfect. Thank you so much. If Robin does not carry you off, she has my number."

We both giggled as Elena walked away.

"I think she fancies you," I teased. "So, that toast."

"The future!"

We clicked glasses, the drank.

A few minutes later Elena began to look disorientated.

"Are you okay?" I asked, innocently.

She slumped in her chair.

"Could you call an ambulance, my friend has fainted."

They did, and within minutes two men in uniform came in. They looked at me.

"That's Robin," I confirmed.

"We take her from here," they said, one of the men giving her breasts a good grope.

The moment they left I texted Mac. It was obvious that Dimitri would not come himself, but would have me delivered somewhere where I could be taught my lesson. I had taken the chance that his thugs would not know what I looked like -- and had been right. The idea was for Mac to follow the fake ambulance.

Paying, I dashed out to the waiting car. The policeman tracked Mac and the others to one of Dimitri's seedy hotels. I got out and found Mac and his men at the door.

"Wow, you look good, Robin!" he exclaimed.

"Thank you, kind Sir!"

"Right, break the door down, we have probable cause."

They broke it open with ease.

Voices were being raised upstairs.

"Are you bastards mad? This is not the right woman!"

"But the other bitch said this was Robin!"

"Idiots!"

"They are right," I said, as Mac pushed the door open, "I did."

The two thugs headed to the door, trying to push the police aside, with notable want of success.

"You are under arrest for attempted kidnapping. I am sure other charges will follow in due course. Cuff him!"

The look of fury on Dimitri's face was priceless.

"You won't get away with this!"

"That was what you said last time," I said, "but this time you are the one who will not get away."

"What do you want to do with Elena?"

"I am assuming the drug will wear off soon," I said, "after all, Dimitri would not want to wait too long before teaching me my place. Anna is on her way over; I suggest you leave Elena to us for an hour and then come to collect her."

"I should take her in now, but so far, trusting you has paid off, so I shall be back soon."

Watching the sleeping Elena, a whole confusion of emotions rushed through me. She was the first woman I had kissed; she was a policewoman; she was a Judas. I struggled to cope, but knew what has to be done.

Anna arrived.

"Thank God you are safe, Robin," she said.

"It's you I have to thank for distracting her. Can you trust what you have been told?"

"It is her, she fits the description, and it would all fit into place."

"Okay, get her ready."

We stripped her to her thong, though it seemed hardly worth leaving it on, but as Anna said, it always good to leave the interrogator with something more to take.

Even as we tied her to the chair, Elena was showing signs of consciousness. I hid in the shadows. Her eyes betrayed her fear as she came round and began to realise her situation. She stared at Anna.

"You, what am I doing here. You are one of those Ukrainians. Dimitri will be furious, you better let me go."

"Dimitri is dead," she lied, fluently. "I am part of a Ukrainian revenge team. My men will be here soon. I shall leave you to them unless you confess."

"Dimitri blackmailed me," Elena protested.

"One more lie and I leave. You will be finding out how I felt when the Russians violated me."

"What do you want?"

"If you tell me the truth, I will not let the men have you, but one more lie and I leave. You will be a tempting target, your tits out like that. You may even orgasm, I did."

I could see the fear in her eyes. Elena would have kept up her lies to Mac, this was the quickest way to get what we needed.

"Okay, okay, I have been working with the Russians for a while. I have been passing them information about what the police know, and helping them with accommodation."

"And what about passing back to them details of the family members of those refugees who have made statements to the police?"

Elena looked dumbstruck.

"How...?"

"At least two women I have spoken to told me that the only person to whom they had named a lover elsewhere in Ukraine, was a policewoman who looked Greek."

I stepped out of the shadows.

"How could you?"

"Robin, don't let this woman have me violated, you are a vicar."

"There will be no assault, we just wanted a confession. This was the easiest way to get it. Dimitri is where you will be soon, in police custody."

"Look, I can give you both money, lots of it. Just tell the police I escaped. Give me my phone, I will transfer money now."

Anna and I exchanged a look of disgust.

"Love of money is the root of all evil, Elena, and neither Anna nor I share your passion for it. Now get dressed as soon as Anna unties you."

Sullenly she put her clothes back on.

At that point there was a knock on the door. Mac came in with two of his men.

"Elena, you are under arrest for aiding and abetting a criminal conspiracy. I have no doubt other charges will follow."

The look of disgust he shot her would have shamed the heart of a stone, but she just looked at us as though this was just one of life's little problems.

"So sorry, Robin. Were you and Anna right? Was she the one passing back information about relatives?"

"Yes, she confessed."

"I shan't ask how you got that out of her, but thank you. We have rounded up the rest of his crew and we have taken Darnya and the women into protective custody. Shame that your beautiful dress has not had an evening worthy of it. My offer of dinner stands."

"Thanks, Mac, I will take you up on it. Anna and I ought to get back to the Retreat."

"Happy to offer you a lift."

"I think we might celebrate with a walk back along the prom," I laughed, feeling light-hearted for the first time in weeks. The shadow was lifting, not only from me, but from the women who had come here seeking refuge. I was happy to work with Darnya and the others to see what we could do about helping them now that the whorehouse was closed. But at that moment, I just wanted to breathe deeply and suck in the night air.

I thanked Anna for her part as we walked.

"It was not easy to pretend to be that harsh, but I do not think she would ever have admitted she was the one who had put loved ones back home at risk. You say she was a friend of yours?"

"Back at school," I said, by way of excuse. Oddly enough I saw her again on the day I was appointed here."

"Had you been offered the appointment then?"

"No, but it had been approved."

"Do you believe it was just a coincidence?"

"It's hard to, but why would anyone have wanted to know where I was being posted?"

"You saw they had a picture of you and Irina kissing, so they kept an eye on you after the Surtees business. Is it too much of a stretch to suppose that they knew Elena and you had some background and asked her to find an excuse to get in touch?"

"I don't know," I admitted, "we would have to ask her. For now, I just want to enjoy the night air."

We walked in silence for a while, the dark blackness of the sky over the rolling waves illuminated only by the odd star and moonlight when the clouds shifted. I felt thankful.

"You know, Robin, Mac was right, it seems a shame not to have taken advantage of that dress."

I smiled at her, her face lit only by the faint gleam of the streetlight.

"Maybe, but however tempting, I think I should resist, and so should you."