Room for Rent

"Trevor! Don't be mean!" a still-tipsy Henley told him. "You know what I mean!"

"I'm not sure I do."

"Then you don't see me the way I see myself."

"And who is it that you see when you look at yourself?" he asked as he gently squeezed her hand.

"Like the...39-year old divorced woman I am who has two kids who somehow thought that an amazing, handsome, younger man like yourself might see me...differently."

"Next time I'm cutting you off after one glass of wine," he told her, clearly teasing again.

"You're still being mean," Henley informed him as her heart pounded in her chest.

"No. I'm just letting you know I think it's the wine that's keeping you from understanding what I've been saying now for the last few minutes."

"I will admit it's not making this any easier," she told him, finally making an effort to smile again.

"See if this helps," Trevor said as he leaned her way to kiss her.

At first she sat there frozen as though she couldn't decide whether to get up and run, slap him, or let him kiss her. Her eyes were open wide, and Trevor initially assumed it was out of some kind of repulsion. But as his lips pressed against hers, her eyes closed and she kissed him back.

As he slowly pulled away, Henley said, "Okay. That helped. A lot."

"I was also worried that telling you how I feel might ruin our current relationship. As landlord and tenant."

Trevor was still just inches away from her as Henley said, "It would definitely change things, wouldn't it?"

"Yes. It certainly could."

"But what if it changed things for the better?" she asked as her heart pounded even harder after the kiss she'd fantasized about so many times before in secret.

"I think that would be a good thing."

He leaned over and kissed her again then said, "Maybe even...a very good thing."

"I agree, but are you sure you heard me say how old I am?" Henley quietly asked, hoping he wouldn't say he hadn't. "I'm asking because I don't think I have the courage to say it out loud again."

Trevor laughed quietly then told her, "I did. I heard that and every other word you said tonight."

"And you still feel...however you feel...about me?"

"Uh-huh. Only more so," Trevor told her before asking if his age bothered her.

"No. I mean, I don't think so. But I don't think you ever told me yours," she replied, almost certain he hadn't.

"Then maybe I should tell you," he said as he brushed her soft, very-silky looking hair away from her face.

"Could you maybe wait until tomorrow?" she asked with a sweet smile.

"I won't be any older then," he informed her as he tried not to laugh.

"But I could at least pretend you're maybe...30...ish...for another day."

"I'm 25, Henley," he quietly told her, 'ripping the bandaid off'.

"Oh, my. Then it's even worse than I thought," she said as the realization set in.

"Oh?"

"Yes. Because I'm...I'm falling in love with a man who's, um, let's see..."

She was counting on her fingers as she tried subtracting 25 from 39 in her head, but couldn't come up with the answer.

"A lot younger than me."

"That's okay," Trevor quietly told her. "It's okay because I'm falling in love with a woman who's...a little bit...older than me, and well, maybe that will balance out the universe."

"It isn't a little bit, Trevor," she told him as she put a hand on his clean-shaven face.

"No, but it's only a 'lot' if we let it be," he said as they looked into each other's eyes.

"So we're really doing this?" Henley asked as her body trembled.

"Yes. I believe we are," Trevor told her.

He smiled at her then said, "I still can't believe how quickly I've come so far from having no interest any woman, to...to the way I feel about you."

He smiled then said, "And those two amazing kids of yours."

"They are pretty wonderful, huh?"

"Uh-huh. And so is their beautiful mother," Trevor told her before kissing her again; a kiss that soon became passionate with tongues touching and flicking as Henley moaned softly.

"It's going to be very difficult knowing you're just down the hall from me," Trevor told her when they came up for air.

"Yes. Very," Henley agreed.

"And if I don't go upstairs right now...alone..." he said.

"Right. Yes. That might be the right thing to do."

"I don't want to, but I really should."

"I understand," Henley said before kissing him for the first time. "Goodnight...Trevor."

He kissed her back, smiled at her, then said, "Goodnight, Henley."

He stood up and let her hand slowly slide out of his then broke eye contact and turned away, leaving the 39-year old mother of two with the softer look alone, her mind reeling from more than just the wine as she watched him until he left the room.

It was after 11 o'clock before Henley got off the couch. The alcohol had worn off, but the effects of his words and his kisses were still very much alive inside her mind and in her heart, and as she made her way upstairs, it took all of the willpower she had not to keep walking down the hall to his room.

Somehow she resisted the temptation, and made it inside her own bedroom where she closed the door then wondered what might lie ahead for her and her two precious children.

Just like before, there were two competing voices in her mind as she got ready for bed. One of them was excited and happy beyond belief while the other kept telling her that she was making the biggest mistake of her life.

Trevor never slept in, but Henley did on most weekend days. This Sunday morning, she didn't get up until 9am. Trevor had already run, showered, had breakfast then fed the kids before their mother woke up.

When she did, her still-exhausted brain reminded her that she and her tenant were now in a relationship, a word that caused her to sit up and shake her head in disbelief. Not being a drinker, just the little wine she'd had had also given her a headache, so she popped two Tylenol in the bathroom before taking a look at herself in the mirror.

"Oh, my goodness," she told herself.

Her hair was flat and looked awful. He face was puffy and her eyes were a mess. When she pulled on her old robe, she felt 79 instead of 39 and wanted to crawl back in bed and make the world go away just as she heard a quiet knock on the door.

"Who is it?" she asked, petrified of having Trevor see her like that.

"It's me," he said.

"Just a minute!" she told him, as she panicked.

"I'll uh, I'll be right there!" she called out as she looked at the sweater she'd set on the dresser the night before. That wasn't an option nor was letting 'someone' see her like this.

When the door creaked open, Henley hollered, "No! Stay out!" but Trevor had already seen her.

"Why? You're dressed, right?"

He stepped inside, and Henley turned her back.

"You okay? We were getting worried about you," he told her as he moved closer.

"I look like..."

"I'm sure you look just as beautiful as you did last night," Trevor told her as he put his arms around her from behind.

"No. That is definitely not true, and if I let you see me like this, you'll...you might throw up."

He laughed then assured her he wouldn't as he let go and asked her to turn around.

"I can't."

"Please?" he quietly coaxed.

It took her a few more seconds, but Henley finally turned around. She couldn't look at him, though, and she was sure this was the end of the shortest relationship in history.

Until Trevor gently raised her chin and smiled.

"Good morning," he told her before leaning in and kissing her.

"You didn't run," she told him as though it was a miracle.

"Why would I?"

She finally looked at him then said, "Do I have to actually say it? I mean, you're not blind."

He tried not to laugh, but he couldn't help himself.

To make up for it, he took her in his arms and said, "Come here."

It took her several seconds before she put hers around his, but after she did, she asked him if he was disappointed.

"Yes," he said immediately.

Henley's arms fell down, and the look on her face said she was ready to cry.

"I'm disappointed I didn't tell you how I feel earlier than last night," Trevor told her as he bent down to let her know he wanted her to look at him.

When she did, he softly stroked her cheek and said, "My feelings haven't changed one bit."

He saw her the look in her eyes change then continued.

"I'm not a shallow person, Henley. I've been selfish in the past by not wanting to share my life with anyone, but that all changed after I met you. And were I to feel differently based on the way you look in the morning, that would be the ultimate in shallow, right?"

He smiled again then waited for her to smile back.

"I guess if this doesn't scare you off, you must really like me," she told him, still feeling insecure.

"I do. I like you a lot, Henley," he said before kissing her again.

Henley kissed him back—hungrily—until the sound of giggling scared her so badly she yelped before jumping back.

"Mom was kissing Trevor!" Jonah hollered out.

The sound of Jennifer's footsteps told her mother she was in very deep trouble as her daughter appeared next to her son just seconds later.

"Well. Hello there!" Henley said to her children with a nervous little wave.

Trevor moved aside then stood next Henley.

"I forgot to close the door," he quietly told her.

"It's a little late now!" she said through clenched teeth, a smile glued on her morning face.

"Are you guys in love?" a smiling Jonah asked as he walked in.

"I'm gonna let you handle this one," Henley said out of the corner of her mouth.

Trevor knelt down and told the seven-year old, "We're...in like."

"In like? What's THAT?" Jonah asked.

"Duh!" his sister said as she walked in, too. "It means they like each other."

"Why didn't Trevor just say that?" Jonah wanted to know.

"He did say that!" his exasperated sister told him.

"So is everyone okay here?" Henley asked, her mouth starting to hurt.

"I'm okay!" Jonah called out.

"Mom. We like Trevor, too, okay?" her daughter said.

"O...kay," her mother replied. "Can I stop smiling now?"

"If you don't, your face will freeze that way forever," Trevor leaned over and said, still talking quietly.

He leaned even closer then said, "And that would be your morning face."

Henley stopped smiling, looked at Trevor, then made a loud 'huff' sound.

"Oh, okay. I see how this relationship is gonna be!"

Trevor moved back in front of her, put his arms around her waist, and said, "The only thing I heard is that there IS a relationship. That is what you said, right?"

"Maybe," a more confident Henley told him as she hugged him back.

She felt something around her legs and when she looked down, Jonah was hugging both of them. When Jennifer joined in, Henley felt herself tearing up again, but this time she didn't care, because for once, she was happy. Very, very happy. And when Trevor pulled her close and kissed her again, she was over the moon.

"Wow. If my morning face didn't scare you off, you must be serious," Henley told him.

"I am. But your morning breath is...awful!" he teased.

Jennifer laughed and giggled as she let go causing Jonah to ask what was so funny. She grabbed her brother's hand and said, "Come on. They need to be alone."

As she nearly dragged him with her Jonah asked, "Why? Why do they need to be alone?"

Henley was still trying to think up something witty to say in response to the 'morning breath' comment but couldn't.

"It is pretty bad, isn't it?"

"No. It's not bad, Henley. Anything that's a part of you isn't bad," Trevor told her before kissing her again.

"Just because the kids think we need to be alone doesn't mean we should be," she forced herself to say as every cell in her body wanted him.

"So it's not just me?" Trevor asked with a smile.

"If you're referring to unmet physical needs...no," Henley told him with a little laugh.

"We'll meet them. Soon," Trevor told her.

"Promise?" his landlord-turned-girlfriend asked.

"Yes. I do. Promise. But for now, how about we go downstairs and spend our first Sunday morning together as a couple?"

"I like the sound of that," she told him sweetly before stealing one more kiss.

Old robe and all, Henley couldn't have been happier when she and Trevor walked downstairs hand in hand. She knew there was no need for the new hairstyle or the softer look. At least not where Trevor was concerned. She was still glad she'd done them both and planned to continue doing more as money permitted, but knowing he didn't care made her love him all the more.

"What can I get you for breakfast?" Trevor asked as she poured a cup of coffee for herself.

She didn't have the heart to tell him his cooking skills needed work, so she just smiled, gave him a little kiss and said the coffee was enough.

That Sunday set the stage for their relationship as the four of them settled into new roles, as it were. And as the weeks went by, nothing could have made Henley happier than the new love of her life. But a close second was watching her children slowly return to their old selves.

Jennifer still read, but she gradually stopped being a moody isolationist. She began smiling more, then laughing, and by April she truly seemed like the little girl her mother had always known. Jonah stopped acting out almost immediately, and he not only bonded even more with Trevor, he began to almost cling to him. But not in a bad, needy way. It was more of having a new best friend, and maybe even more importantly, a male role model in his life.

Romantically, things couldn't be better. Trevor not only continued doing both nice things and practical things around the house, he'd kept his promise to Henley. It was just two days after the promise that he was able to fulfill it late one night after the kids were sound asleep.

Trevor hadn't been with anyone since the week before he moved in as Henley's tenant, the longest he'd gone with the exception of being deployed, but it was Henley who broke a 15-month dry spell that night. Twice.

She'd always enjoyed lovemaking, but she'd never had anyone 'rock her world' before Trevor Michael brought her to a previously unheard-of level of ecstasy in bed. She couldn't remember a time when she hadn't 'finished' during lovemaking, but she'd never done it more than once. So when it happened twice each time Henley was hooked.

She'd already been mentally hooked. But when the physical became reality and turned out to be better than anything she'd ever experienced or even dreamed of, she was 'all in'. As in 'hook, line, and sinker' all in.

But it wasn't just Henley who was a 'happy camper'. Trevor was amazed at her willingness to try virtually anything. He'd been with a 'freak' or two in bed, and they'd taught him several things. They weren't things he needed or even wanted, but 'changing it up' was fun, and the first time he casually suggested one of those things, Henley said, "Let's try it right now!"

They didn't just try, they succeeded. For Trevor, that was just icing on the cake that was Henley Lesco. He knew he was falling for her the day she went to see Fran before she left the house. He just didn't know how hard until he really got to know her. And as if that wasn't enough, there were these two amazing kids who loved being with him as much as he loved being with them.

Somehow Trevor had avoided any interaction with Henley's ex the entire time he'd known her. She'd let him know shortly after the first time they slept together that she'd informed her ex that she was 'involved' with another man, but he'd just laughed and asked what took her so long.

But now that things were getting serious, and talks of possibly leaving the area were occasionally coming up, she felt it was important to let him know, so she stopped by his office on campus one day to talk things over.

"Henley? I never wanted kids. Don't get me wrong. Ours are great. But I'm not. Great."

"What does that mean?" she asked him.

"It means I...well, I...resent having to spend time with them. I know exactly how that sounds, but for once I'm being completely honest with you. So if you and this new love of your want to get married and/or move away, I won't fight you."

The honesty was refreshing, but what he said made her blood run cold. She was so disgusted by what he said she really didn't know how to respond.

"I hear your boyfriend puts new meaning in the word 'boy'," he said with a sly smile when she didn't reply to his comment. "Not that I'm jealous or anything."

Henley spoke the first words that came to her and did so without regret.

"He may be younger than me, but he's more of a man than you'll ever be."

And with that she walked out and never spoke to him again.

The other issue that was bothering her almost as much as how her children's father could want nothing to do with them was the thought of losing another husband. But not to divorce due to an affair but to death in war. Yes, Iraq was long over and Afghanistan was barely an issue, but soldiers still died there every week. And the thought of losing the only man she'd ever truly loved was devastating and it now haunted her almost constantly.

The first time she mentioned it to Trevor was after making love late one night. He wasn't dismissive, but he told her it was pointless to worry. She replied by letting him know she didn't see it as pointless but a legitimate concern. He countered by reminding her that even during the height of both wars, almost every soldier and Marine came back alive and unharmed, but that did nothing to alleviate her concerns. She let it go, grateful to be with him, but as the weeks went by, her concerns continued to grow.

By early May, Henley told him she wasn't sure she could continue their relationship if he was set on going back into the Army.

As always, his reply was gentle and loving but also firm.

"Henley. I love you very much. And from the very beginning I've been honest about my goals and dreams for the future. At no point have I ever been dishonest or mislead you in any way."

"I know. And that's just one more thing I love about you," she told him.

"But?"

"But I can't live in fear wondering if I'll lose you."

They were sitting on the couch together, and Trevor put his arm around her then said, "You could lose me tomorrow. Someone could hit me while I'm out running. Or I could have some unknown genetic condition that causes a heart attack. I could get cancer or..."

"Yes. But those are possibilities with anyone. The Army is a decision and it isn't essential in the sense that we could be very happy together in some other job or career."

Trevor moved his arm away then turned to face her.

"Henley? We wouldn't be happy. You might but I wouldn't, as 'we' requires both you and I. Together. And as much as I love you, and I do love you with all my heart, I would be resentful if I were to give up the most important dream of my life for anything."

He paused then gently added, "Or for anyone."

"You only have a week left before the deadline to apply for OCS," she told him.

"That's right. But I'm not waiting until then. I've taken all the tests, had the physical exam, and I'm going to sign the paperwork on Wednesday. And I was hoping you'd be there with me when I do."

Henley felt like her heart was breaking as her last attempt to persuade him to consider some other career had just failed.

When very large tears began falling, Trevor knew what that meant.

"I'm sorry," she told him as she began to cry. "I...I just...can't."

"It's not fair to ask me to be someone I'm not," he quietly told her.

"I know. You're...right. You're absolutely right," she said, barely able to speak as the crying turned to deep sobbing. "I hate myself for not being able to accept that, but I've tried and tried. I...I just can't."