Room Wanted Ch. 03

"What?" said Rob in amazement.

"I was baggage left over from an unhappy love affair, put out and sent on my way by parents whose only real connection was as lovers. When my Dad's wife found out about my Mum and me, I was put up for adoption." She looked wistfully out of the window. "I don't remember my real Dad that much; he was only around every now and again, the occasional weekend. I thought that was normal, thought that was what Daddies did. I remember going on a boat trip, it was on the Norfolk Broads, I still have a tiny snow shaker thing that he bought me. I was just getting ready to go to school after that summer, Mum took me out and bought me some green Gingham dresses, I was so proud of them!

Then she was really sad and I didn't see my Dad again after that. About a year later we went for a drive in the country, least that's what I thought it was. It was somewhere in Surrey..." her face went pale, "we walked in, she gave my hand to one of the staff and went out to the car, I thought she was just going to get a bag or lock the car or something; no eye contact, no kiss goodbye, no 'see you later', no explanation, no apology, nothing. I was Carla's age when you adopted her. Four year olds understand stuff, especially when they are being dumped."

The tears poured down her face, she was finally freeing herself of the grief.

"I waited for days Rob," she wept, "I kept telling the ladies that Mummy would come back, I kept repacking my bag for when she came for me, it was a pink rucksack," she tried to smile but couldn't, "had ponies on it. But she never did come back. I remember crying and telling them she had to come back, my school dresses were still at home and I wouldn't be able to go to school without them."

Rob was holding her, letting her get it out of system, even he had tears in his eyes.

"My Nanny came to see me in the home a few times. She was lovely and the image of Mum. Older, always beautifully turned out, grey, really sad eyes. The last time came she took me to a big expensive shop in London in a taxi, think it was Harrods, and bought me a dress like my dolly had; said it was nicer than the school dresses I'd had. I expect she thought it would make people want to adopt me. Then we went for ice cream at this really expensive shop and she apologised for my Mum not being everything she should be; I begged her to take me back to Mummy, not back to the ladies in the home. She cried in the taxi with me, and they had to carry me out of the car. I never saw her again either."

She told of long nights crying for her lost family and numerous people coming to see her, and for some reason she was constantly passed over for fostering or adoption. After seven months she found a new family, and not via Social Services.

"Eventually I was fostered by the Williams family, it was strange. I can remember sitting on my Dad's lap for the first time, Mum was so loving to me, but..." She wiped her face again and stared at the ceiling, "That fucking Will! It was the words," she burst out, "They said that I wasn't their child and I was basically a house guest, they didn't love me Rob, I was a task, a challenge... a fucking burden!"

She told him about meeting Pete at school and his parent's only finding out she was in care when the carer said she couldn't come round on a play date because it would clash with her sitting for tea. His Mum said she would arrange tea for her, and asked about 'sittings'. It was announced that she lived in the local children's home as they were having trouble getting her fostered because of her age.

Mum had offered to foster the jolly bright little blonde five year old there and then, two years later she was formally adopted and part of their family. Or so she'd thought.

They read the will; and it all came crashing down again. Somehow it was never real; she had been a mercy mission, something that the religious parents felt they 'should do' out of duty rather than love. She'd not known any different, and had loved them all. Right up to the time when the will was read and it was all but announced to her relatives, a room full of people she'd known as a close loving family that she was part of the furniture and had the same position in the household as a family pet that without the loving owners was now a problem and needed to be disposed of. It was like being dumped by her birth mother again.

"I wasn't angry because I didn't get anything," she told Rob, casually swiping a tear from her lovely face, "it was the sudden realisation, such coldness; the 'we raised you, so that should be enough; we loved our real children' about it."

She added venom to the word, "it wasn't until I came to your house that I realised that I'd been cheated. Not out of money or 'things' but they stole my happy childhood from me, I went from being the baby of the family to being one down from the fucking Labrador," she chuckled. "Naomi, too much trouble, and dumped again.

Just before I moved here I asked the Salvation Army to look into my history and find out who my real parents are, it didn't end well..."

Her heart was beating in her chest, the lady from the Salvation Army had arranged everything. She'd assumed that her birth mother must still be alive, she would only be in her sixties after all. The meeting was to be in the Tea Rooms at a large country house, not far from where her mother lived now. Naomi had borrowed a friend's car to get her there, and had put on her little black dress and a floral scarf.

She had arrived early and had sat in the shade at the front of the tea rooms with a pot of Earl Grey tea. She couldn't settle at home so had left to get there early and was now so nervous that she never noticed when the older woman and another woman younger than her walked past. It was the smell of perfume, light, flowery and utterly unmistakable. Her hands started to shake, and she turned in her chair looking into the tea rooms to the central table she was going to head for in a few minutes.

The smell of that perfume, the look of the other lady she hadn't seen since she'd walked out of that children's home over 25 years before.

She had aged well, some lines at the edge of her mouth and her eyes, hair tinted without removing all of the grey. Her mother looked more like her grandmother had that day in Harrods, except she had none of the remorse that the older lady had carried that warm, sad afternoon. This lady had a hunted guilty look about her, at least that was what Naomi saw.

The younger woman spoke with a passing waitress and headed off the restrooms before their 2.30 appointment arrived.

Naomi drank the last of her tea, and picked up her black bag, holding it in front of her as if in defence. She moved through the large double doors and stopped level with her mother. Her perfume, that smell, she could hear the blood rushing in her veins.

Naomi was glad the other younger woman wasn't there, this would just be her and her Mother.

"Excuse me," said Naomi with a bright but nervous smile.

The lady looked angrily across at Naomi's waist, not raising her head to make eye contact.

"My daughter has just told your colleague!" snapped the older woman, "we don't want anything thank you, we're just here to meet... someone, IF she bothers to turn up! We won't be staying long, oh no!" She spat out venomously, "don't you worry about that!"

Naomi thought she would faint; she didn't know what she'd expected from this reconciliation but it certainly wasn't that; the Salvation Army lady had told her to be prepared for a cold welcome. Parents that give their children up often have guilty feelings and do occasionally react badly to their long lost families.

And her mother had another child after her! Her heart sank, the mental visions of her mother she had created in the last few months slowly disintegrating; a sad old lady broken at the loss of her beloved daughter. She obviously didn't expect Naomi to even turn up, and wasn't planning on staying long to talk to her.

"Don't you have other people to serve young lady," she growled angrily at Naomi's silence, "or are you intent on poking your damned nose into other people's miseries and misfortu..." said her mother her voice failing as she looked up into the pale features of a face made familiar because it looked so much like her daughter, now returned from the restroom and staring equally pale faced - at her half-sister.

For Naomi it was like looking in the mirror, some facial features, hair colour, body shape, even dress sense.

Her sister came to her senses first realising from Naomi's shocked expression and the last part of the conversation that some inappropriate words has been said.

"Naomi?" said the other woman with a slight tremble in her voice. She was so much like Naomi in voice it was amazing. She came to her senses, "Mother!" she hissed "what have you bloody said now?!" The busy tea room went silent and her mother looked then turned away from her, a hand across her mouth.

The silence in the room was tangible.

"I... I'm sorry," said Naomi hurt by the abrupt closure of their discussion and the loss of eye contact, "I..." she made to reach out to the woman and tried to smile at the woman's back, which moved closer to the table shrugging her shoulder from the coming touch.

Naomi chose not to reach out and with a suppressed sob put a hand to her tear-wet face and turned on her heels and left. She could hear the conversation carrying on behind her and the moving of furniture.

"Well it's not my fault she's dressed like a damned waitress is it?" said a pained voice, "Oh just let her go Roselind!"

"Oh Mother!" she growled, "I just cannot bloody believe you sometimes!" and Naomi could hear the sound of feet crunching on the gravel path behind her, "Two minutes," she snarled trying to move tables and chairs in her way, "I can't leave you alone for two bloody minutes!"

Naomi had slipped into one of the greenhouses, upset, hurt, embarrassed beyond belief, where she waited hidden among vines for half an hour, hearing a desperate then more distant voice, "Naomi! Naomi!" it called. It wasn't her mother's voice however.

"My half-sister's name is Rosie, she emailed me to apologise about that day and we've emailed each other since through the Salvation Army - completely against our Mother's direct instructions of course and the 'Sally Ann' censor our messages and won't put us in touch until Mother agrees to it.

It seems my Mum met someone a year after giving me up, a Don at some Oxford College, and Rosalind and her sister Celia came along a year and two years after that. Mum hadn't told her husband or my two half-sisters about me and my grandparents were sworn to secrecy. That lovely lady that took me shopping for a dress and bought me ice cream only died two years ago apparently." Naomi sniffed, "She was so nice..."

"It only came out one morning when the husband opened the letter from the Salvation Army that he'd found dumped in with the recycling. My Mum insisted she'd not read it and binned it because thought it was a charity request letter, while he opened to see what it was; of course he confronted my Mum about it. She was thrown into the deep end about me of course and was really on the spot.

My Mum now refuses to talk to anyone about me, hardly leaves her room apparently but has written me a letter that explains it all, apparently. It's in my dressing table drawer," She looked across the room at the offending piece of furniture, "I've not had the balls to open it if I'm honest; but then I moved here and I don't think I wanted to open it..." Naomi stood up and walked across the room to the dresser, stopped, then walked back, "Like I said Rob, fucked up."

He stood and took her in his arms and held her.

"Why didn't you tell me all this Darling," he whispered in her ear, "it's all so clear to me now."

"I didn't want to come across as another troubled child you had to take on, I loved being with you, I loved finally being the grown-up, the problem solver, not the problem."

"You're a thousand times more important than that Nomes," he took her chin in his hand and tilted her face up to meet his. "You aren't a problem child, and I love being with you. I love you as a man loves a woman, not a child. I want you to..." he stopped, "I can't imagine not having you in my life."

"What?"

"I'm crazy in love with you Naomi, have been since I first saw you. The fact that the kids love you too is just perfect for me." Her face erupted in smiles, "that's the Naomi I fell in love with," he said.

"You, and Carolyn and Mattie, Lizzie, Carla, Paul, I came to your house and I got another happy family."

"It's not our house," said Rob, wiping a tear from her cheek.

"Well Tom's house," she said.

"No, you're not listening, it's your house as well now."

"What?"

"You're part of this family now whether you like it or not, so it's our house, our family; not mine."

"But..."

"No buts," he said, "whether you decide to stay with me or not, it's still 'our boys', 'our girls', he paused and kissed her, "It's your home now, and it always will be."

She laughed, and wiped her face.

"Thank you Rob, I think I was just convinced that it would all be taken away from me again." Naomi closed her eyes and smiled.

"What?"

"Twice before Rob, not had a lot of luck with families wanting me around,"

"Third time lucky," he said, "No way am I ever letting you out of my life, ever. You're mine Naomi, get used to it." She beamed a smile at him and kissed him, "You've been mine since that first night when we went out to dinner, when we made love..."

Their kissing became more passionate, and eventually Naomi had to stop for breath.

"Do you know when I first knew?" she asked, comforted by his holding her. He shook his head. "I used to sit on my stairs with a cup of tea and listen to you and Matt in the bathroom," she said almost laughing, "it was so special, I wanted to come in, join in the fun, be part of everything. That's why I came in so quickly when the hoist broke, I was outside the door."

"Well you are part of everything," he said. "The whole family loves you, and it's not because you were waif or a stray or adopted; it's because you love them. Easy as that." He stopped talking suddenly, Naomi looked at him concerned, until he knelt before her. She took a deep breath.

"Darling Naomi, will you marry me?"

"Yes," she mouthed to him, unable to get the words out. He stood up and they hugged, then broke to stare into each-others face, before kissing long and hard.

"And err..." he smiled when they broke for air, "the baby?"

"Our baby," she grinned, "here," she reached into her bedside table drawer and handed him the scan pictures. His face lit up and she knew that any fears she may have had about his love for her and her pregnancy were groundless.

"Oh Nomes, I'm so happy," he pulled her to him and lifted her and swung her around, she squealed with joy.

"Me too." She said, "Can I tell the kids?"

"Course," he said, "they've been your kids since you arrived."

"Come on then," she said and they headed down her stairs, holding hands.

In that huge kitchen she leaned against the worktop and turned to face everyone, still in 'going shopping' mode. The tension in the house had been tangible for the last few days and it was obvious that everyone had been picking up on it. Carla was sat watching TV and stared across her folded arms at her former hero. Lizzie had been sat next to her and had obviously been trying to cheer her up or calm her down.

Carolyn looked cool but couldn't hide her concern but was chatting to Matt, and Paul was pacing, head down and talking to himself nodding as if to confirm something, a sure sign that all was not well with him.

All of them at one stage had known tension in their lives, but never in this house. This was the one place that it shouldn't be, this was the house that was safe above all others and Naomi realised with a huge lump in her throat that she'd been responsible for it.

She had to turn it around and quick,

"Gang," she said, "I have a favour to ask," she said looking around at all of them her face flushed. "We, that's your Dad and I, well, we'd like to get married... if that's OK with all of you?"

The kitchen erupted, with Carolyn and Lizzie trying to hug her, and get around little Carla who had leapt from the sofa almost into her arms, all sins forgiven while Mattie beamed one of his hugest smiles across to her as Rob put an arm around him.

"Is it OK Paul," said Naomi explaining the change very matter of factly, "The only difference is I'll sleep in Daddy's room. AND it also means that we all stay living as a family and I won't have to go and start another one."

He'd stopped pacing, and put his fingers in his ears at the sudden noise. Naomi's loud voice in speaking to him reminded the rest of the family that this kind of thing wasn't a good state of affairs for their youngest brother.

"You're staying," he said in confirmation.

"Yes honey," she said back to him.

He smiled back for way longer than he ever did. For Paul this was akin to running around the room shouting 'YEEEES' at the top of his voice.

Carolyn looked at Lizzie and her Dad and did the tiniest air-punch mouthing, 'Yes!' to the room. She looked at Lizzie and nodded.

"You are, aren't you..." said Carolyn, "Lizzie and I have said you were for weeks."

Naomi grinned and nodded and put a hand to her belly, and the screaming started again, stopped while Paul put his fingers in his ears again. When Rob produced the scan pictures from his shirt pocket a far quieter 'awwwww' was voiced and Carolyn and Lizzie gave up Naomi for their Dad and the picture that spoke of the next chapter in their family lives.

Naomi hugged Carla and gently rocked her from side to side. She calmed her down, buzzing with the shared excitement of the moment, they touched foreheads and kissed, something made Naomi close her eyes and hug her tighter,

"Will you help me look after your baby brother or sister?" she whispered. Carla nodded hugging her around the neck again.

They all went shopping, and were a wonderfully happy bunch. Finally she was able to show the world that her and Rob were in love, and she enjoyed holding his hand as they walked around the superstore.

The happy feeling lasted for the rest of the day and dinner was pizza again and everyone helped that night. They sat in the living room, strewn across sofas and chairs, TV on but not watched, just happy people chatting about life and the future and weddings.

Carolyn was looking at Naomi with a gentle grin,

"You're designing my wedding dress in your head aren't you?" said Naomi looking at her soon to be daughter.

"No," said Carolyn dismissively, "designed that weeks ago, I might let you look at it before the big day, I have allowed for your pregnancy so long as the pair of you don't wait too long."

"You really guessed weeks ago?" said Rob, surprised.

"Yeah," said Carolyn nodding across at Lizzie, "it's a girl thing Dad," she waved a hand.

"Can I..." started Naomi, only to be cut short by Carolyn, making a lip-zipping movement across her mouth.

Naomi giggled, and wriggled into Rob's arm that was around her.

"Sorry Nomes," said Carolyn, "until you've married my Dad you're still a 'work in progress'. Have I let you down so far?"

"No Darling, far from it."

"Can't argue with that," said Rob.

"What about my dress Carolyn," beamed a bouncing Carla who had barely sat down all evening.

Carolyn grinned at her little sister, and pulled her onto her lap and squeezed her,

"Your dress will be prettiest of the lot my sweet baby sister!" Carolyn hugged Carla and kissed her cheek loudly and she giggled.

There was no question as to who was putting an exhausted Carla to bed that night, it was of course Naomi and Carla asked her what kind of ring she was going to have.