Roop 01

Roop 01

Hi there, I'm Roop (Rupert at birth) and I'm occasionally referred to as Roofer since my family owns one of the top home roofing businesses in the Middleton area, which by default, keeps the cash and the popular business family perks free flowing inward. None of which is my fault, but I don't shy away from any of it either, so, it's a tie.

So, my backstory is waste of time, but I'll condense here for you and start with a peek into the future because in 2 or 3 years, I plan on letting my darker hair grow out long, but for now, I like my cut high in the rear and long cut in the front bob. And it took me 2 years to figure out the rest of my appearance before settling on a hair style, but since I started pretty early in life, I think finally found it just as I officially turned into a young adult.

But if you know me, I mean, I stepped out alright for my 18th birthday, right? I apologize for the years prior, but who remembers all that history anyways.

And just to say it because I always said to myself that I would say it someday, I also apologize to Darrin for learning how to kiss with him when my fem appearance was lacking more appeal. And I'm only saying that because Darrin didn't seem to mind, not at all, but comparing myself now and back to then, hmm, he should have or he should come back, but whatever.

Anyways, there's nothing really special about me other than I don't live as the gender that I was born as. I mean, I don't even own a skirt or a dress, but I'm comfortable with my fashion choices, which is much fashion down than putting on the ritz, but I can go the way of the ritz if I want to. But for most of the time, black Denim jeans, a zipper hoodie and my sneakers all work for me and if that doesn't work for anyone else, that's fine. You can take it or leave it because I'm not looking anyways. But you should at least admit that you looked at me.

And I prefer black Denim jeans for how the shiny buttons and rivets are a little more highlighted than they are on blue Denim. At least that's how I see it anyways.

So, what have I been called other than Roofer, hmm? Loner for how I don't have a big need to be the center of attention, tease, which isn't exactly true, true, true, but that's what guys say when they don't get what they want from me, Tomgirl, which fits me I think, but the modern definitions vary and the guy who referred to me as Calico-Girl once should have stuck around another few minutes because I liked that moniker title and for how it struck a nerve in me, but Bobby split before I got up the nerve to give him what he might have wanted.

Now, nowhere in my backstory will you hear me say that I have upfront and first move capabilities, the end. LOL, you'll probably hear it a hundred times how I have anxiety issues when confronted with a personal situation and I have a habit of 'exclamation point' raising my voice a lot, but the gift of gab just wasn't included in my DNA package. I mean, I can talk about stupid stuff as well as anyone else, but my tongue comes up short when it matters, but I fizzle out within five minutes or so and that's that.

And that's also why I fully support the absolute abuse of screen time because I've been on two official dates and I reached the end of the internal both times. And the only times that I breach the five minutes limit is when I drive around to the family's roofing job sites and check on the water coolers for the roofer crews, but that's half work and half personal, so, woo-woo, I really have it going on, right?

Anyways, before I dive, or should I say drive into my story, let me add that I work at the local Go-Kart track here in Middleton on the weekends. I'm not the flag starter guy because that's Sal Salinder and I'm not the emergency services pickup truck for accidents because that Cal Calendar and I'm not the fuel and maintenance guy in the Pits because that's Hal Halter. And if you haven't yet viewed Mrs. Halter's leaked 'boobs & rope' photo shoot, well then, there's something to be said for a 38 something in rope lingerie and that's about all that I have to say about that.

Oh, um, I'm the last chance safety equipment checker and the spotter for the back stretch just in case there is a need for me to blow the air horn to wake up Cal Calendar, I mean, have Cal Calendar jump into emergency accident action, tee he, with his official emergency/work/family pickup truck.

Anyways, my spotter area is secured by a little fence and a gate, it's stocked with air horn cans and I have a little board plank that I can lean my elbows on because the go-karts are not really so fast that major incidences occur on a regular basis. They go faster than most people can run, but not by much and I don't think that's all that uncommon for go-kart tracks anyways.

And we all have fun. Even Cal's wife because sometimes she likes to double check the safety seat belt buckles of some 20 something guys who catch her eye and that's when I turn a blind eye. I mean, it's safety first and none of the guys have ever complained that there was extra "grab, pull, yank, tug, tug, tug, tug, tug" verifications of their lap buckles, so.

Anyways, come down to the Go-Kart track some night and see me. I mean, my spotter station isn't exactly front and center, but just locate the big faded yellow banner that swings in the breeze and says "under new management" and ta, da, I'm located slightly in front of that. Also, tee he, that banner is faded yellow because the Go-Kart track has been under new management since for as long as anyone can remember.

And by the way, working at the Go-Kart track lends itself to my down dressing fashion. The go-kart riders can wear shorts and things, but it's frowned upon for the track staff, so, if you do come visit with me some night, give me a heads up so I don't wear worn out black Denim jeans for you. Unless you happen to like the stressed Denim look since I can go either way.

Anyways, before I dare mention again that Bobby could have gotten some of what he wanted for referring to me as a Calico-Girl a couple of weeks ago, let's just get with the story, which starts on a Friday night with a full moon out.

[Vroom goes the red cart, zoom goes the blue cart, vroom goes the black cart, zoom, vroom, zoom]

"Hal, it's a Friday night with a full moon out, so, keep the go-kart fuel tanks full and step back a little from your miniature fuel filling station while smoking, okay?"

Well, I am on the safety check team, so.

"[Hic] roger dodger roper Roop [hic]."

Oh, I already spoke about Mrs. Halter's rope halter top, so, enough said about that.

"Cal, it's a full moon out tonight, so I expect accidents by the plenty. Is your safety/work/family pickup truck ready to roll at the sound of the air horn if I spot an accident, hmm?"

"[Hic], Roop, there's talk a plenty amongst the concession staff that you're sizing someone up tonight because the girls said that your jeans are new and not your casual/safety/ordinary jeans that you usually wear, so they are talking plenty about that [hic]. Also, my safety/work/family pickup truck is almost ready except I can't find my rope, again and it was brand new in the plastic wrapping [hic], so, have you seen it, Roop, huh [hic]?"

Oh, I saw it alright and I have a full set of the leaked photos, so, message me.

[Vroom goes the red cart, zoom goes the blue cart, vroom goes the black cart, zoom, vroom, zoom]

"Ahem, Roop, knock, knock, are we supposed to ask permission to enter your highly secured area or what, hmm?"

[Three cuties are standing just on the outside of the highly secured swinging gate of the spotter's area]

"Oh, OMG, Gilly, Gilly and your Gazelle crew, no, just push the gate open and come inside of my caged area."

[The vrooming past breeze from the speeding Go-Karts actually swings open the highly secured gate for Gilly and her Gazelle crew, like a breezy gentleman would open a door for his better half.]

"I mean, Roop, first of all, you need a makeover and second of all, we want to race the boys and third of all, you need a serious makeover, Roop, especially since I hacked your selfies folder and I know what's behind all these zippers, so?"

You would think that was a compliment, but since I have anxiety issues, I wasn't sure about that. Also, hoodies with quarter zippers are my second go to hoodie.

"Oh, let's start with the race then, Gilly, because do you want to race the 'boys' or do you and Gazelle's want to race the 'guys' or is it a race with 'those guys' in east grand stands because it's all different, so?"

"Oh, we don't want to race your nerd guys crew, because we wouldn't ever step on your toes over your 'yuk, yuk' nerds or anything, but we wouldn't be mad if we could race those guys over there [points at those guys], so? And we're just skipping over your need for a wardrobe update for now, Roop, because that part is not over with just yet, so?"

Oh, I'll have plenty of fun with my 'yuk, yuk' nerd guys later over that! Well, maybe since I can hear them now responding with "(yuk, yuk) a girl talked about us, Roop (yuk, yuk)?" or something like that.

"Well, Gilly and crew, normally this is where I would suggest that the race be scheduled for another day because you and your crew are known to hem up your skirts that have already been hemmed up to here in the first place and that might be an unfair distraction to those guys, oh, oh, okay, um, grab some new goggles and I'll be right back.

Well, all is fair in short to really short skirts, so.

"(Giggles) I recognize these goggles from Marla's meme, tee he, oops, I mean, cool kart racing goggles, Roop."

Tee he, that was quite a meme that somebody made of Marla. But she looked directly at the camera, so, all is fair in the world of sex night memes.

"Hal, Hal, I'm stepping away from my spotter's position for a quick minute, Hal. Hal?"

"[Hic] Boop, Boop, de Boop, Roop [hic]. Also, have you seen my wife [hic]?"

"Oh, she doubled up with Cal's wife just before the current kart heat got under way to double check the seat belt buckles of the 20 somethings that I already checked and that's why there are only three karts on the track right now and two karts behind the Pits building hut, so, I'll just be a few minutes, Hal."

"[Hic] that's my wife, she's always chipping in [hic]."

Well, chipping in, tugging it at, it's all the same thing.

"Hi guys, hi everyone, I'm Roop and I need to see a few greenbacks if the three of you crocodiles want to line it up against the three blonde Gazelle's that are just over there in the staging area right now, so?"

"[Peers over as if he hadn't already checked them out] yeah? Well, are you the brunette bookie for the three blonde Gazelle's or what, huh?"

"OMG, my hair is Black Sea Black this month! And it was Black Pepper Black last month and I'm thinking about going Black Tar Black next month! What kind of evil mouthed crocodiles are you anyways?"

Anxiety issues, right?

"Alright, alright, Goth Bookie, take a breath. Do we get dates with those quick little Gazelle's if we win? Or even if we don't win because we could get involved in the quick chase, so?"

LOL, Goth Bookie! That was a first. No e-mails please from the country music fans because I didn't say it. He said it. Oh, wait.

"Well, guys, besides a fist full of greenbacks, I need three names, so? And the dating situation is none of black hair my business."

"Charley."

Because Charley said it. Charley said it.

"Duke."

"Vic."

[Because there is always one in every grand stand, right?]

"Excuse me, what am I over here, chopped liver?"

"OMFG, I see you over there, Steve Stevens! I see you lurking there, but my Gazelle assignment was for a three-on-three race situation and you're a fourth and you made so much fun of me while I was going through my final, final, final appearance stages!"

"WTF? Roofer? Also, WTF, take a breath, Roofer (sheesh)."

"Steve Stevens, it's just Roop, okay [inhales slowly]?"

[The crocodiles feel slighted]

"Excuse us! One hustle at a time! You can't call a three-on-three race between the hot Gazelles and my crocodiles and then side step with an old flame!"

LOL, that was another first for me! Someone showing their anxiety towards me at an elevated level.

"OMFG, you take a breath, Charley! Anyways, Steve Stevens, I have a few last-minute checks to make of the helmets and the goggles and since tonight's go-kart heat races are sponsored by the Frozen Frosty Swirled Freeze Shop, I mean, I'll have a Blue Raspberry Frozen Frosty Swirled Freeze, please. And you can bring it to me at my spotter's station, so?"

Huh, that was the calmest I ever spoke to a guy.

However, OMFG, why would stupid Steve Stevens the Tire Guy come to the Go-Kart track anyways, hmm? Oh, yeah, miniature racing tires, duh.

"Charley, this is Gilly and Gilly is quite the tech savvy Gazelle and that's the only reason why she knows what my body looks like under my two-piece burlap outfits because I do take selfies and I wouldn't be surprised if she hasn't already hacked your..."

[Ping. Charley (pause) you have successfully hacked and turned the bazillion dollars Mars Crawler hard to the left (pause) from your public Chang account (pause) thank you]

"And Duke, this is Gillianna and even though Gillianna is 100% legit, she still has four other fake ID's just to match up with her tinted contacts because matching up perfectly is ahead of sliced bread on her list. And even though the blue ice contacts that she is wearing tonight are a bit hypnotic, I warn you about her golden yellow Wolfblood tinted contacts that she will bring out after the race because they can be fricking creepy during a full moon, like tonight."

[Duke's eyes are hypnotically spinning over the blue ice tint, but his lips are quivering for whatever Wolfblood golden eyes might be like later]

[Ping. Charley (pause) the space agency is coming for you (pause), thank you for subscribing to Chang]

"And Vic, this is Gillian, who became the recital director all through elementary school and then switched over to a party planner in middle school and then made a bazillion dollars in high school organizing all of the graduation parties for all of her four years there and she is rarely without her party planning headset."

[Ping. Vic (pause) your future children's parties are all pre-arranged through college (pause) thank you for being a loyal Chang user]

"[Charley] well, damn it, who in the world would have a response to any of that, huh? Other than can we switch off because..."

"[Gillian] oh, because you mean switch off one for five and three for four and two for six, hmm? That would make for a perfect match of the six of us for our Go-Kart race and what may or may not come in the future, so?"

[Huh, that was a smooth switch off shuffle from both sides, but Gillian hypnotic tinted eyes probably helped with that]

Um, no, I did not help the crocodiles with their safety helmets and belts, but I did keep the two horny housewives away from them.

"Well, I picked a bad day to not be the green flag waving person because this is going to be a race to remember, but let's get with it then. And I might be just over here, talking to Steve Stevens, so?"

"[Gilly] oh, then give me your phone, Roop, so that you don't surf the web until the internet runs out because boyfriends need attention or they quickly become ex-boyfriends, so, hand it over [extends hand out]. And, and, and, check his pockets for some poppers, Roop and, tee he, if Steve is right-handed, start with his left pocket because they say it swings to the opposite of the dominant hand, tee he, so."

Ha, ha! But I did just that. I mean, hand over my phone to Gilly, not check Steve Stevens' pockets for poppers because what guy on the planet wants someone digging around in their pockets for poppers anyways, hmm? Oh, LOL, most of them!

"Well, I picked a bad day to carry my poppers in my shirt pocket then, Roop! Anyways, here is your whatchamacallit blue something or other tasty frozen treat, that's also um, frosty, so?"

"OMFG, Steve Stevens! It's a Blue Raspberry Frozen Frosty Swirled Freeze! [Slurp, slurp]"

"Well, I picked a bad day to not pop a couple of poppers first, Roop! Chill out."

"Well, I usually take the extremely long way around things, Steve Stevens, so, I never said that you couldn't put the baggie of poppers in your, um, you're right-handed, right, Steve Stevens?"

I mean, it was Steve Stevens' suggestion that I place the baggie of colorful poppers in his pants pocket of my choice and I did that, so what? It wasn't all the way anyways, but apparently, it was enough to keep Steve Stevens hanging around.

But back to the go-kart race to remember.

"[Vroom), I own you, Vic! [Screech, attempts a pit maneuver], show me that receipt, Gilly!"

"[Zoom), got a flat tire, Duke? [Squeal, dives low for the pass], all I need is three wheels, Gillianna!"

"[Side swipe, bang, side swipe], the Gazelle's are not sleazy, Charley. [Side bump back, side bump back], but the Gazelle's wear black lingerie on the third date, right Gillian? [Frame bounce, frame bounce], we'll see, Charley, LOL, or you guys will see [zoom, vroom, roar away] maybe."

"So, the Gazelle's are off to a good start and I never hated you back in school, Roop, so?"

"Yeah, but, Steve Stevens, it was a slim line since you replaced the normal hate with avoidance and ignoring me, so?"

"[Vroom), my lips taste better than my dust, Vic! [Screech, goes high for the win], I'll be the judge of that Gilly! [Zoom, zoom], hah, you have to catch me first, Vic! [Smashes the gas], are you seriously checking your lip gloss in the mirror during the middle of a go-kart race, Gilly? [Zoom, swerve, vroom], well, I might have to pucker kiss someone in the victory circle, Vic, bye [roar, roar, swerve to block, zoom]"

"[Zoom], am I dating an old man behind the wheel, Duke? [Squeal, smashes into her rear bumper], you're looking forward to be the younger trophy girlfriend, Gillianna! [Roar, zoom], come on grandpa, the speed limit is smash the gas! [Vroom, roar, zoom], hah, I'm smashing my gas pedal and then I'm going to smash that as... [whirl, whirl, spins out 720 and recovers, vroom]"

"[Blocking swerve right, blocking swerve left], the Gazelle's can be a bit needy sometimes, Charley! [Opposite swerve and swerve back], but the Gazelle's understand the needs of their boyfriends, right Gillian? [Slides high coming off of the corner], oh, we Gazelle's know the needs of our boyfriends, Charley [zoom, roar, vroom], but we Gazelle's also have the need for speed, bye baby [zoom, zoom, pulls away, vroom]"

"I mean, Roop, I'm calling your family's office this Monday for a re-roof job on the Tire Shop, so?"

"I mean, I'll make sure you get a discount then, Steve Stevens and then come around to double check the water coolers during the job and check your tire iron, if that's what you want because you're the "guy" and you get to call all the shots, so?"

"Oh, my tire iron needs checking right now, Roop, so, can we slip behind the building that's just behind us, where that weird guy is smoking and swigging whiskey and sniffing gas fumes from his miniature gasoline filling nozzle, all at the same, huh?"

That's our Pit guy, Hal alright!

"OMFG, one addiction at a time, Hal, like I've told you about a thousand times! Anyways, Steve Stevens, we can wander around after the race because the Gazelle's want their poppers, so, just hold on."

"Oh, that sounds in my favor, Roop, so, that's in my favor, right?"

"Well, you're the "guy" and all, Steve Stevens, so, of course, it sounds all in your favor, so?"

[(Vroom, white flag lap), are you gawking at my accelerator and brake pedal legs, Vic? (Zoom, roar, vroom), I'm just checking out how long it's going to take me to rub them down, Gilly! (Roar, roar, zoom), hah, if you rub me down, Vic, I'll pay back (zoom, zoom, roar, vroom)]