Ruins

Melanie pushed Raven's hand away, making a small, pained sound and Raven put it on the small of her back, continuing to kiss her breasts. She allowed this for a few minutes before finally pulling away and laying beside her. "There's another reason I called you," Melanie said quietly, just as Raven had been wondering if she supposed to leave now.

Raven looked over at her. "Other than being the only one desperate enough to let you bruise half my body and still get you off?"

Melanie laughed and apparently wasn't so angry anymore because she answered in the easy way she always did when they were exchanging banter. "Yeah, other than that." Her face turned serious then. "You're bisexual."

"So you think I don't want you as much?" Raven asked raising her eyebrows judgmentally. Ivone had spouted off a bunch of bullshit about bisexual women not being really bisexual last time the three of them had spent time together. It was stupid really, because Raven knew it had been a direct attack at her. Although a weak attempt, because Raven fit seamlessly in the lesbian community, her own unwillingness to go back into the closet, even if it was one of a different design, the only reason anyone knew.

Melanie had never contributed much to those conversations, but agreed with Ivone when she was called to answer, even if she did it reluctantly. Raven had never figured out if it was because she didn't actually agree or because she didn't want to insult Raven. Now Melanie shook her head. "No, I know you like women," she answered. She stood up and walked the short way to the bed area and took out a shoebox she'd stored under it. When she returned, Raven saw she was holding a double sided dildo and a small bottle of lube. "She didn't like penetration."

"Wasn't she with a man before you?" Raven asked her, lifting herself up on her elbows. She'd never used one before, having usually fucked other women with a strap-on or vice versa, but looking at it now she felt her cunt ache with the wish to have Melanie fuck her with it. It wasn't the dildo itself, even though it looked thick and obviously was big enough since it was meant to satisfy two people at once, but just the thought that she could do something with her she and Ivone hadn't done got her off a bit. Maybe it was petty but she didn't care.

Melanie shrugged neither admitting or denying it. "She still wouldn't do it. You into it?"

"Only if you stop biting me," Raven said. "And scratching, and whatever the fuck else."

"Only if you promise not to make this romantic," Melanie said with a wry smile. She knelt on the cot above her. Raven still couldn't figure out whether or not Melanie was deluded into thinking that was likely. Maybe she just thought it'd be easier to resist Raven if she wasn't trying.

"Sure, I'll even think about Evie," Raven said. "Turn around."

Melanie didn't seem to think her joke was funny, but she still followed her directions, and allowed Raven to position her so that Melanie was sitting over her face. She didn't actually mean it, because even though she'd meant it when she said she liked Evie, probably more than she did Melanie, she hadn't been pursuing her as long. Plus, she didn't know what turned her on about Melanie so much. Maybe it was how very much she didn't want her. Or the fact that despite Melanie not wanting her, Raven still turned her on too much to properly push her away, and she was vain by nature. Maybe she was even a bit of a bitch, because she didn't start seriously pursuing Melanie until Ivone tried to get in between them. Probably it was a combination of all those things.

As she was eating Melanie out, she felt her lean forward and the blunt head of the dildo at her entrance. Melanie paused, asking permission, and Raven ground her hips forward softly. It felt bigger than she expected, almost like a real cock if it weren't too cool to be human, and she moaned in approval. Melanie started fucking her with the first few inches and Raven rocked her hips up, matching the pace, just to show Melanie she could fuck her properly. After a few minutes, Melanie paused and climbed off of her face, applying lube to the other end before sliding it slowly inside of her.

"Have you ever used one of these before?" Raven asked her, as she paused when she seemed to get as much as she was going to get inside of her.

Melanie nodded and the next second she was proving it. She gasped and then wrapped her legs around Melanie's waist keeping time with Melanie as she kept speeding up faster and faster. The way they were fucking each other now was nearly animalistic, but Raven welcomed it because Melanie was making noise, getting louder. She heard banging on the floor from downstairs because oh, right, they were doing this in the middle of the afternoon on a Sunday, but she let out a laugh, and slid her her hands up Melanie's sweat slicked back to grab onto her shoulders.

"This is the kind of sex you can't get with a teenager, isn't it?" Raven whispered in her ear as she reached in between them to rub at Melanie's clit. She'd already had one orgasm, without the extra help, but she wanted to punctuate the statement.

"Shut the fuck -oh- fuck up, Raven," Melanie said in a shaky voice. It sounded an awful lot like she was crying. She let out a loud exhale the next time she came, her body leaning against hers in exhaustion. After a few seconds, she rubbed her clit off too, until she managed to finish and pulled away from her.

The sun was starting to set through the windows, surprising Raven, because the hour had changed not too long ago, and the Spanish sun didn't set until 9pm in the spring. She didn't think she and Melanie had been at it that long, but it explained the exhaustion that was setting into her bones, making her unwilling to move. Melanie for her part didn't say anything, just leaned over and started rolling up a joint that she shared with Raven before turning off the music and putting on another episode of Friends, so maybe she wasn't in a rush for her to leave. At the middle of the night, Raven woke up and headed to the bathroom. It was next to the bed with the rumpled sheets and Raven found herself wondering idly if Melanie had slept in it at all after Ivone left. In the bathroom, she noticed the second toothbrush in the cup beside the sink and she felt a sour, almost guilty feeling in her stomach.

She washed off her make-up and pulled up her hair into a ponytail, looking less like Khaleesi and more like the twenty-five-year-old fuck up she was. Raven dressed quickly and grabbed Melanie's phone, taking it with her into the kitchen. She found her contact info quickly and erased her number along with the WhatsApp conversation. It wasn't a situation she wanted to be involved with, filling the space another person had left behind, and she knew she shouldn't have had sex with Melanie at all. She couldn't help but wonder if the reason Melanie didn't want things to turn romantic was more for her own sake than Raven's. After all, Raven wasn't the one who fell in too deep, too quickly. Whatever she had said earlier, Ivone had had better intentions than Raven and she doubted now that they'd been done for good when she came over or else Melanie would have thrown her shit out.

Raven left then, leaving the phone in the kitchen, not bothering to hide that she had made sure to cut contact. It was what Melanie wanted technically, even if they both knew she wouldn't have been able to give herself that. She knew it was too late to grab the metro and started working toward Cibeles to grab the night bus. On a whim, she tried calling Evie. She'd never called her before, opting just to message her, so she was surprised that Evie picked up. "You know who this is, right?" Raven asked her.

"Of course, when a woman buys me flowers I remember her," Evie said, there was a lot of noise behind her, like she was outside a club.

"I shouldn't have bought you flowers," Raven told her.

"They're dead now," Evie responded and then let out a surprisingly cynical laugh. And in a shout she bitterly said. "Todo lo que toco se vuelve a mierda." Everything I touch turns to shit.

"I ruin shit too. Even shit that's already ruined. It's a talent."

"Thought you called because you wanted me?"

"Am I not convincing you? I tried to be romantic, you didn't want that."

"You didn't have to try, your eyes said it all. Everything I didn't want them to say."

"You can't break me any more than I deserve."

Evie was quiet for a few seconds. "I'm in Chueca."

Raven knew that she had to smell like weed and sex at the moment, but she wasn't ready to go home with the guilt still flooding her veins. So she went to the club Evie sent her the location to and hoped that Melanie would call Ivone in the morning. Evie's nose wrinkled after she kissed her cheeks but she still danced with her. At five she held onto Evie's hand and she followed her onto the bus even though it was the opposite way from her residence.

"You have to shower first," Evie said carelessly, laying her head sleepily on her shoulder. Raven laughed and wondered if maybe she didn't deserve to punish herself for Melanie. Because she knew Evie especially wouldn't call her back after getting what she wanted. But she was doing what she said she could, ruining things that were already ruined.