Running from a Distance

"Is there anything else that you are attached to here in this country?" He asked now.

She thought about it for a while before answering.

"My vacuum cleaner at work." She said, smiling suddenly.

She was sure he was not expecting this answer.

"Ah?" He exclaimed.

"I spend a lot of time with it at work." She said.

It was as though she was teasing him, but he could not be certain. Why, she had never teased him before. Had she taken in some of his characteristics?

"How about you?" She asked, bearing in mind that she should ask him something in return as he was the one asking all the questions before-hand.

She wanted to be invested in his interests, but she did not always know how much to ask. For she knew that there was not much that she would like to talk about herself.

"I am attached to the forest, yes." He said.

She smiled.

Yet he had not finished what he wanted to say.

".if only to get closer to you." He continued.

Now she stopped smiling. A dread filled inside her. She was not expecting any strong declarations of any sort. She had an inkling of where the conversation was headed, and she did not wish to go through it. Also, she did tell Helena that she would leave once he was well. She had decided as well that she should return to her childhood home. She wanted to start afresh. She did not want any complications here, especially with him, being the crown prince.

There had been unkind remarks made at her throughout the past ten years. People have told her to go back to her own country when she was just making an honest living here. Finally she can go home now.

He saw that she had tensed up. He heaved a deep sigh, deciding to change topic for a bit.

"I am sorry that I did not disclose to you who I really was." He said.

She kept quiet, then she spoke in a quiet voice.

"I know that you have your reasons, and as I do for not disclosing my name. I think that we both had no wish to intrude into the privacy of the other. " She said.

"No, that's not why. I wanted you to like me for who I was without that excess baggage. I did also want to impress you with my own charm and skill -- the raw, naked me with warts and all." He said.

She shook her head, but colour did rise to her cheeks when he said the raw, naked him. She thought suddenly of how he looked in an undressed state, and then blushed. She knew that he did not mean his words literally. Her English had improved by leaps and bounds since living here.

"I accept and I like you just the way you are. There is no need to impress me at all." She said.

"You mean that you are not attracted to me?" He asked then.

"You mean to the raw, naked you?" She asked, rather bewildered.

Now she wondered if he was really talking about his broad, masculine built. Perhaps it was really that important to him, in addition to that chin.

She did something bold then. She started to untie the hospital gown he was wearing just enough to reveal his rather hairy chest which reeked of muskiness. He had wiped himself with a damp towel this morning but ever since he was hospitalized, he had not had a real bath.

She looked him in the eye. He did not appear embarrassed or agitated. Was it desire she saw in his eyes?

She splayed her hands right in the middle of his chest; and they soon found the part where his heart beat.

"Raw and naked.I am attracted to you." She said in a clear voice.

He had gasped from her touch. Her hands felt like ice on his chest at first, and then he started to feel the beginnings of desire address his primal needs which long lay dormant.

She felt desire rush into her veins. The fine curls on his chest were rather damp. His chest was just so warm.

He moved forward and his lips almost grazed hers.

"This is a physical attraction, nothing more." She whispered, touching his lips with her finger.

He groaned. He wanted to prove her wrong, but at this point, he was consumed with a desire to conquer her and make her his. Sexist as it may sound, it was exactly what he wanted but dared not say.

Instead, she was the one who made the first move. She lifted her face upwards towards his and started to tease him with her lips grazing like a butterfly across his cheeks. Her lips were soft and inviting.

"You feel me, do you?" She murmured into his ear.

He groaned. He could not answer.

He let her graze his cheeks until she reached his lips. His lips opened slightly to grasp hers while they mutually deepened their kiss. She took charge when both her hands framed his face, so that she could get a better angle which suited her strong desire. He was contented being in the back seat, letting her take charge of their kiss.

For five whole minutes, they were kissing each other again and again in wanton abandonment. She had pressed her body towards his chest. He could feel the peaks of her soft, rounded breasts flattened against his now sweaty chest. He was breathing ragged breaths. Instinctively he grabbed her and pulled her against him even more.

He moaned when she moved her hands down to his manhood, barely touching him there. Just as quickly, she untangled herself from him and took a step back.

"We do have an attraction. It's called lust and nothing good could come out of it." She said.

She was breathing rather heavily.

He looked at her in shock. She had beaten him to his own game plan of telling her that he cared. He had wanted to tell her he was attracted to her, also in the romantic sense of the word. She was turning it into a game of seduction with no strings attached.

And God, he knew he had his heartstrings attached to her from the first day they met.

"You're right that I am physically attracted to you. But my attraction to you goes beyond that. I think about you the whole time, wishing I knew what was on your mind." He said in a quiet resonance of a voice.

She looked at him blankly and was unresponsive. Her hands went back to the flower arrangement. The poor roses had been taken in and out so many times that they looked wilted.

"In other words, I care for you. Tell me your name." He said, with a fixed look at her arranging the roses.

"Arissa." She said, accidentally pricking her finger on a thorn.

Blood oozed out and she grabbed a nearby tissue on the table.

"Let me see your finger." He said, almost commanding.

Not used to the tone of his voice, she complied.

"It's fine. Just a silly thorn." She said.

He brought her stained finger to his lips and kissed it tenderly.

He said her name for the first time ever. He said her name slowly. He repeated her name, over and over again.

".for all the times I did not call you by your beautiful name." He said.

She felt goose bumps making her entire being tingle with a sensation of mixed feelings. She felt frightened at the way she was feeling. They were only words and yet.the way he said her name, over and over again never sounded sweater. She never thought that her name could sound so melodious and beautiful, even. It was just a name, for Heaven's sake, considered strange in this country.

"I appreciate you very much. You have always been with me, both physically and in my thoughts." He continued.

"Lust can make you think that." She said now, walking away from him.

She felt that it was an intelligent reply.

"My attraction to you, don't you see, Arissa; is that of love?" He said, trying to move out of the bed to walk towards her.

It was the first time he was trying to walk in three months. His gait was unsteady and he looked like he was going to fall.

Protectively she moved towards him and tried to beckon him back into bed. He should not be moving too much. It was only three days ago that he was still in a coma. She gently eased him back to bed and subsequently placed herself back in the fluffy cushion which she had decided to hate.

"You brought me back to life from my deep slumber. It was your voice which kept on calling for me to wake up. I heard only you and no one else. Not even Helena, my fiancée. It was then I realised that I did not love her the same way I love you." He said.

His voice was strong and steady. How badly had he wanted to convince her that he loved her; for better or for worse.

"I think you are still concussed. Wait a few days more and see if you feel the same." She said instead.

"I have broken up with Helena. She said that she understood, and she has given us her blessings. You don't have to go." He said.

"Can't you tell me what's going on in that mind of yours?" He asked, when she said nothing at all.

"I am really flattered by your declaration of love but how much do we know each other really? You are just some random guy at the forest." She said.

"Random guy? I am the crown prince!" He said, flaunting his position now.

"I'm sorry, but that is how it feels for me." She replied.

He looked at her with fierce intensity in his eyes.

"But you do care for this random guy, do you not? You came to him at his moment of need." He said.

"I was just being friendly. Is it wrong to show compassion without having ulterior motives?" She asked.

"How difficult you can be! You're as stubborn as a mule." He cried.

She lifted her chin, feeling defiant.

"I am not being difficult. You are forcing me to love you. Love cannot be forced." She said, feeling irritated because he considered her irrational and stubborn. Why, she was one of the most stable people she could think of. Always impartial, keeping a distance from things so that she may have a bird's eye view. Always a witness and not involved in all touchy-feely subject matters.

"Because I know you love me, you blind moron. You're so blind you just can't see it, or maybe - here's what I think, you refuse to see it because you fear that I am like Jacques, your ex-boyfriend, isn't it?" He shouted.

Never had a person made him so mad too as she did. She had the power to arouse every damn feeling in him.

"If I am that bad, why do you still want me?" She yelled; hot tears streaming down her face.

She was not sure if it was from anger or sadness; or something in between.

Again, just like the first day during the storm, they had begun yelling at each other. She yelled because he yelled.

"Because I love you!" He shouted.

She carelessly wiped her tears. That was the sort of commotion she did not want. She was already resigned to being a spinster, already prepared for it.

She made a move towards the door.

"All that difficult, stubborn you! I fell in love with that one blind idiot who thought I was going to shake the living daylights out of her. I fell for you; hook, line and sinker. You're a wild cat." He shouted at her.

He voiced words upon words. There was a passionate fury in his voice. All this time, his gaze was upon her; unwavering and strong. He was troubled now. Could he not convince her that she loved him too? He knew that he had won her heart, but as he said, she was one stubborn mule and a blind idiot combined.

But she was also so much more.she was the apple of his eye. She was the sun in his eyes. She was the muse in his life. She was the one whom he woke up for. The one whom he sought to perfect his charm skills.

Clearly though, they were not working on her. She was immune to every gesture he made that worked for other women. Could it be because they were from different cultures, different countries? Could love not overcome that? Or was it just fear of the unknown? Fear of not wanting to pick up the pieces again once something had gone wrong?

She knew she loved him; dearly and terribly. How could she not when she had been fretting over his whereabouts for the past three months? She had been worried sick. She was going crazy. She gathered that she had loved him from the first day they met.

Still she was uncertain. They were poles apart.

"We are from two different worlds." She said.

"Yes, I am aware of that. We are also so different in personalities, outlook, interests and everything else under the sun." He said.

For once, she was taken aback at his words. She expected him to deny the differences and instead say how much similar they are in life but he had said what she had wanted to say to rebut what she thought he would say. How complicated this man was, crown prince or not!

"So, you see, we can't do this. Like you said, we are poles apart." She said.

Tears started to well up in her eyes. She was afraid of being in love after being alone for so long. And also since her tumultuous relationship with Jacques ten years ago.

"Why not?" He asked.

He wanted to comfort her; to keep her safe from the world. He sought to reach out for her other hand. He found her hand and grasped it tight.

"We both complement each other. We make each other whole. It is due to our stark contrasts that we are attracted to one other. Simply because we are so different from each other. There is nothing but attraction. North and south. One cannot do without the other." He said.

She looked at him, rather perplexed at first, and then somewhat in agreement. But she feared the fear of loving again. What if he grew bored with her?

"I do not love you." Came her reply.

She tried to look him straight in the eye, hoping that she did not betray her true feelings. Yet he saw only unconditional love. He had long known that she never talked about feelings. The less she said, the more she felt.

It was the total opposite from him. The more he said, the less he felt. That happened with his previous relationships. He sought to charm and impress his ex-partners a lot with the flowery words of a paramour. Now he was just trying to reach middle ground with her.

"It does not matter. It's alright. You do not have to love me. I would be happy if we could spend time together. That is enough for me." He said.

However he did proceed to put his arms around her. He wanted to hug her tight. She was motionless in his arms but she looked at him in surprise.

"Felipe. My name is Felipe. Just that." He said.

"Felipe." She said, deliberately slow.

"Yes. It's so nice to hear you finally call me something other than clumsy moron." He said, caressing her back.

She seemed to relax a little. The pressure was off her because he said that she did not need to love him.

Then she spoke.

"I am afraid of starting again. I feel a lot; was very sensitive to a lot of emotions. My uncle did not acknowledge any of them. I thought I found a soulmate in Jacques. He was a very expressive man to the extreme. One day he was alright; the next day he would be depressed. Sometimes violent. It came to a point I did not know what to expect from him but I wanted to save the relationship because I thought I can help him go through his emotions. But he resented me for it." She said.

He kept on caressing her back with the same constant pressure.

"It's alright. I am not your uncle, I am not Jacques. I am just a random guy in the forest." He said.

"You are my random guy." She said.

"You have that spark from within you. You have deep thoughts which I like to listen to. You speak from the heart when it comes to matters not relating to yourself but I am smart enough to pick things up. You make me; simply me. I like being who I am when I am with you. And I want to make you happy. I want to see you smile. I want to make you whole. I believe that I can do it. I believe in you and me." He said.

He now gently placed his arms on her waist. She remained still. Her eyes were brimming with tears again.

"Heart's dearest, may I kiss you?" He whispered.

He felt her acquiescence rather than heard it.

He kissed her cheeks, and then brought his lips down to hers. Her lips were quivering when he touched them with his lips. Wanting to tread slowly and to seek permission, he rested his lips on hers; neither forcing nor probing.

He looked into her eyes and saw nervousness in it. But he also saw love, and he knew that she loved him. He was sorry for all the pain he caused her when he was away. He knew she worried about him. He saw that she had grown thinner and paler. He wanted her to look cheerful and vibrant. She was never that cheerful but he felt that he could make her happy. He knew he could.

She gazed into his eyes and felt safe then. He then deepened their second kiss. It was gentle and loving; then it became possessive and hard. His hands rose to the back of her head. He touched her soft hair and revelled in it. He kissed her hair, her forehead and her eyes when she closed them.

"Tell me that you love me too, my sweet love. I know you well enough that you do not always say what you mean or mean what you say." He said huskily.

Their eyes locked; hers with shyness and his with boyish eagerness.

"I love you, Felipe." She whispered into his ear.

There was a tremor in her voice when she told him that she loved him too.

Because she now felt embarrassed of him, she buried her face into his chest; the same way she did when he just got out of his deep sleep. He hugged her tighter then, whispering into her ear, "I'll never let you go ever."

"I'll try to be more open with my feelings from now on.but if you know me well enough, I need not have to, no?" She asked seriously.

"Hmm.as long as your actions speak louder than your words or lack of them." He said, also seriously but there was a hint of laughter in his voice.

"Ah, that very quality of yours is what attracts me to you." He said then.

They gazed at each other again, smiled and then embraced with all love's tenderness.

He did insist later that she add her silhouette into the sunrise painting, and this time, she gladly acquiesced.

"My sweet love Arissa." He said much later.

"Yes, Felipe?" She replied with joy.

"You are glowing. You are radiant." He said.

"And so are you, Felipe, and so are you." Came her reply.

..

EPILOGUE -- A NEW HORIZON BECKONS

Two years later, the forest became their wedding venue, and they exchanged their vows on the hill during sunset. Their guests mingled at the hill and around the lake. They never forgot the forest. Every evening, you can catch a glimpse of the Crown Prince Felipe and his wife, the Princess Arissa at the forest, hand in hand, walking without a care in the world. They always stay to watch the sunset on the hill and then they drive back home together.

The Crown Prince told his wife that she should paint another picture of the sunset from the hill with both of them hand in hand. The first painting of two separate dark silhouettes titled "Storm" is now in the museum of fine arts. The second painting of the waterlilies aptly titled "Lilies" are in the national botanical gardens, while the third painting of the sunrise has been modified by Arissa to include herself after her husband's amorous appeals. This painting is in their private residence. The sunset view of their wedding is also in their private residence and I hear that both paintings are hung side by side in their bedroom.

Both Felipe and Arissa are now living the life of their dreams. Arissa has opened up her own gallery here. Felipe is the manager. They are both working royals. They are very happy, and I should know, for I am Arissa. My husband, Felipe, sits by my side, winking at me. That charm of his is endearing, and I know that I have not always been verbally responsive of it, but it does not mean that I do not feel touched by his very gestures. He understands me; knows that I am just the way I am, and he loves me just the way I am. I like the way I am when I am with him. He also tells me repeatedly that he likes the way he is when he is with me.

Dear Reader, I am truly happy. I now start a new chapter in my life with the one clumsy moron I love. Well, I still believed he crashed into me first! But then, providence works in mysterious ways, does it not? If there had been no storm and fog that frightful day, we would have never met.